I been saving up my GBP for tendies

>I been saving up my GBP for tendies
>tell my mom i want tendies now
>she tells me to eat vegetables instead
>i scream at her for not giving me tendies
>GIVE ME TENDIES NOW CUNT
>throws my piss bottles at her
>she tells me that she will take away my GBP
>bitch you better not
>screams louder and throw jugs with shit and piss at her
>start setting a fire inside the house
>house now in flames
>she says ok user fine i will give you tendies

dang this is old
GBP are good boy points

thread is died already.

thread is dead already*

>I been saving up my good goy points to continue funding cnn
>tell my mom i want to fund cnn
>she says no
>OY VEY! BAD GOY
>throws my fake news at her
>she tells me that she will take away my GGP
>bitch you better not
>screams louder and throw jugs with shit and piss at her
>start setting a fire inside the house
>house now in flames

Hello fellow Good Boys, please take your seats
As I tell you a tale of hot tendie treats

>One cool autumns night, I tossed and I turned
>I dreamed of steamy tendies for which I yearned
>A growl woke me up with a startling fright
>It was my belly - it hungers tonight.

>"MOMMY MOMMY", I cried with a yelp
>For I could not cook them without her help
>But hark - no reply. Something was amiss
>She did not even come for my bedtime kiss

>I crawled out of my room, wearing my jimjams
>Braving the blackness like based Zimzam
>Even the dark cannot scare me now
>As I most desired a tendie chow

>There was a light coming out of her room
>"THAT BITCH IS IGNORING ME" I said with a boom
>I even heard laughter and a creaking noise
>But I could not hear any of mommy's toys

>I burst through the door, and lo and behold
>A man wrestling mommy (at least that was what I was told)
>"MOMMY, MOMMY, MAKE TENDIES NOW
>STOP FUCKING THIS CHAD, YOU LAZY OLD COW"

>"user, PLEASE DARLING, GO BACK TO BED"
>My mother was crying, her face had gone red
>The man (who was not daddy) told me to leave
>But this night would not be tendieless, or else I would grieve

>"BUT I AM CRAVING NUMMIES FOR MY TUMMY
>SO GET ME SOME TENDIES AND MAKE SURE THEY'RE YUMMY"
>The man was getting mad - he was ready to punch!
>But I have a special treat for him that once was my lunch

>I turned and dropped open my fanny flap
>For soon this room will be filled with my crap
>"THIS IS MY FINAL WARNING - MAKE TENDIES FOR ME
>OR BATHE IN THE STENCH OF MY POO POO PEE PEE"

"FOR FUCKS SAKE user, PLEASE DON'T MAKE A MESS"
>Mommy pleaded and begged; but her prayers were worthless
>With my cheeks spread wide, I felt a shake
>A torrent of shit burst out with a quake

>The man screamed in terror, coated in turd
>He ran out the room without another word
>We heard a screech as he left in his car
>But the smell will stay with him - whether near or far

>Mommy was crying as she gagged at the stink
>"You've gone too far user, what would your father think?"
>"MOMMY MOMMY STOP YOUR BITCHING
>I'M WAITING FOR TENDIES - NOW GO TO THE KITCHEN"

>So go she did, as she sobbed and she sobbed
>Why was she sad? Of tendies I was almost robbed
>But soon the air was filled with a heavenly scent
>My Good Boy Points were truly well spent

>I leaped and I skipped to retrieve my prize
>I squealed in delight over the sound of mommy's cries
>She said she couldn't live like this, that she was dead already
>But why would I care? My crispy ambrosia was ready

>Soon all was quiet on this cool autumns night
>Where mommy and Chad were given an awful fright
>But I was finally content with my tendies in bed
>user is a good boy when user is fed

>I been saving up my dindu points to get kfc
>tell my mom i want kfc
>she says no
>sheeeeit
>police arrives
>cop tells me i shot some nigga a while ago
>I DINDU NUFFIN
>screams louder and throw jugs with shit and piss at the cop
>Get arrested
>sheeeeit
>BLM chimps out nationwide
>BLM gets too wild and shoots a few cops
>Civil war 2 starts

>steamy

>Wake up at 8 PM after my nappy-wappy
>Remembered I've been a really good boy today
>Go to check my Good Boy Point (GBP) whiteboard
>30 GBP
>Enough to go in the playroom AND get a tendie meal with ranch dipping sauce
>Wade through my piss bottles and shit jugs to get to my door
>Waddle over to mummy's room
>"Mummy! Mummy! I've been a good boy and I want to go to the pwaywoom!"
>Mummy checks my chart and leads me to the playroom
>As she unlocks the playroom, she tells me that she'll get my tendies ready
>I quickly remind her, "Don't fowget the wanch!!"
>rush into the playroom and fall over headfirst onto the racecar mat.
>begin playing with my blocks
>One hour later
>Door opens and she has my tendies, except...
>No ranch dip
>"BITCH! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MY TENDIES. I NEED RANCH DIPPING SAUCE TO FULLY ENJOY MY TENDIES."
>"y-you never asks for ranch, sweetums..."
>"WHY DO YOU HATE YOUR NUMBER ONE BOY!?!?"
>"WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE SUCH AN UNGRATEFUL MOM!?"
>"d-don't worry user, I'll go right back down to get your ranch..."
>Throw one of my blocks at her and it hits her straight in the eye
>That's gonna leave a bruise.
>"SERVES YOU RIGHT, NORMIE BITCH! NOW GO BACK DOWN AND MAKE ME SOME MORE TENDIES!"
>Lean in close to her ear
>Shout "AND DON'T FORGET THE RANCH."
>She leaves crying
>Notice I made some wawa in my nappy.
>Mum comes back and changes me while I enjoy my ranch-dipped tendies
>She's still crying
>mfw i free tendies & gbp next week all week cause momma's big boy turns 30

>I been saving up my anti facist to punch a nazi
>tell my mommy i wanna punch a nazi
>she says not today sweety
>are you fucking kidding me fascists are rising nationwide and your telling me i have to stay in mommys basement all day again?
>2020 now
>trump wins re election
>sneak out of parents house and join with other antifa
>burn a starbucks down.
>mission completed fascists BTFO

bump

>I been saving up to get illegal points to cross the border
>cross border
>haha gring- oh sheeeit ICE is here
>get deported

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