Tell me your gross sex stories

tell me your gross sex stories

fat girl forced me to eat her out

I once had sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation

Hard night of partying coked outta my mind get big nasty fat cherry drugged outta her mind letting me blow load after load in her early morning sobering she ain't that cool and because fat gurl I nicely kick her out to have her try to come back in for more drugs spend day feeding her lines and spunk till I felt so nasty fast forward a few years she's at bar with new boyfriend she's gross he thinks he has gold lol she can't make eye contact lol

>dat sentence structure

Some slut took both me and my roomate's virginity the same night, me first him right after.

Fucked another dude in the ass while in the pitch black darkness. Took a while to cum, started feeling wet and less like lube. Ignore it because fuck this fag. Finish, go to the bathroom, diarrhea all over my pubic region. Grossed out me starts cleaning it and throws up. Manage to get my shit together, go back to my bed to see my whole bed shit soaked from this nasty faggot. This is one reason you dont fuck faggots

V/H/S 2

Good movie.

>17 years old
>semi serious girlfriend
>she just started birth control
>asks me to go down on her
>start sucking her clit and fingering her a little
>pull my finger out
>covered in chunky discharge

apparently that can happen when a girl's body is getting used to the hormonal changes, it wasn't just that she was all around nasty and unhygienic, we'd had sex before

>don't fuck faggots
>implying you aren't a faggot for fucking a guy in the ass

Long story short I was drunk as fuck I went down to eat out as girl her pussy smelled so bad I threw up in it and on her stomach tits and face while I was getting up I left and we never talked again

That's from the first movie, not the second.

i think i just lost several brain cells trying to read that

lol this thread. bump. nothing too crazy. drank my ex girlfriend's piss a few times. just stuck my head into the toilet while she was pissing. i liked it. not really much of a taste. pretty awesome memories, though.

>Be me a virgin at a party
>See this drunk as fuck girl sitting on a log dozing off
>Go over and sit next to her and chat to her
>"youre sooooo funnnyyyyy anonnnnn"
>touch her a bit
>she giggles
>start finger banging her
>shes just laughing
>"you want to fuck me user"
>yes PLEASE
>pull her pants down and jump on top of her
>Cant find the hole
>Shes laughing
>Put hand down there
>Feel warmth
>Hmm gooey
>Lift hand up
>Smells like shit
>Hand has something gritty on it
>wtf
>Lift up
>She has diarrhea and just shat everywhere
>she sits up
>"whats wrong ano-"
>she throws up over me
>I'm there with my dick out, shit on my knees and legs and spew on my face
>go jump in pool and wash it all off
>run home
>throw clothes out
>shower a thousand times
Still a virgin 13 years later virgin

good reason to not stick a dick in the poop exit chute.

Did you just finish reading Ulysses?

>be me
>with a buddy
>get into criminal enterprises
>decide torob a bank
>make way inside
>announce robbery
>tell buddy he's on crowd control
>see a guard
>punch him in the face
>block security cameras and windows
>tell the people inside to hand over their wallets and shit
>tell them that it isnt wise to play hero
>check out the females
>see this one, she's cute
>laugh at the guard all tied up
>grabbed the cute chick and take her in back, gun trained on her
>time for raep
>told her to lay on the ground
>tell her to take off her top
>man, her tits are huge
>im gonna fuck this bitch hard
>anticipation is killing me
>she removed her panties
>there, staring me in the face, was a feminine penis
>put gun to his nuts
>im gonna kill this fag
Some other shit happened and we got arrested

>This is one reason you dont fuck faggots

Why the homophobia?

some people just have a difference of opinion on things. and that's ok.

being a homo is the way of the islam

in the pitch blackness

sorry,

the pitch black darkness.

I bet you turned the lights off too, you sick fuck.

and he had his shirt still on. absolutely disgusting

With his wife even. And they waited until marriage...

she doesn't even have aids. what a massive faggot

I once blew a guy who shot his cottage cheese jizz into the back of my throat.

I have never encountered chunky jizz before or since, but that was fucking disgusting.

...

... the pitch black darkness?

>be me
>see old friends with benefits at local bar
>4/10 big tits though
>get fucked up together, take her back home
>I am hardcore pothead, light up the bong
>"hey user lemme take a hit of that"
>I ask if she is sure because she is drunk and never hardly smokes
>she whites the bong out with smoke and clears it
>starts sucking my dick
>says she feels dizzy, I shrugged it off because she was giving some damn good head
>she projectile vomits with dick still in mouth
>vomit splashes all over my lap and couch
>get a towel lay it down over the vomit and fuck her brains out
>chunks of puke in my pubes after fucking her
I have done some nasty shit, but i think if I wasn't piss drunk this story would have ended right after the puke lol.

Start getting hot and heavy with the wife, go to eat the breaded clam. Being married so long you just get the taste for filthy sweaty hairy snatch, not great but whatever I take what i can get. She gets horny af and rolls over to her tummy., she wants me to eat the butt. Horny mind tells me to just go in and boom flat tongue punching that fart box. Immediately tastes like a bitter mess. chuncks stuck to my tongue. Being the good husband that i am I fight through it and clean that turd cutter trying to tell myself I didn't just eat my wife's shit caked onto her asshole. She cums hard with my tongue in her ass. go to wash up and take a peek at her panties on the ground, and it looks like she axe murdered a chocolate bunny in them. Go brush my teeth a thousand times. look in the mirror at my face and see a faint tinge of brown around my mouth. Now I have a scat fetish.

what up eazy

You must be a dork, a douche or a balding fatty.
Either way, you're retarded.

>this is what happens when you abuse drugs
stay in school kids

The suspense was makin me SICK..

a combination of all four id say

When I was young, I almost had sex with my cousin. We were 8 and 10.

I’ve eaten out a fat girl. Disgusting

it really depends on the girl, skinny girls can be disgusting too

>I fucked a guy in the ass
>the definition of faggotry
>but what a fag that guy was!


>(You)

#1
>be in army
>go home on leave and fuck my gf
>she rides me and i feel her dripping on me
>stupid fucking me thinks "omg this is so hot she must have missed me so bad"
>finish inside her and go to bathroom to clean up
>as i turn on the lights i almost vomit
>it looks like someone threw a big bucket of yellow cottage cheese all over my groin and junk
>big fucking pieces too, some almost as big as dice
#2
>gf asks me to go down on her
>eh why not
>taste something weird
>excuse myself to go to the bathroom
>i look like fucking dracula
>cuss out my gf
>"iew wtf are you on your period"
>"im so sorry user i thought it was over... do you want to fuck me in the ass?"
>stick finger in her ass
>feel hard turd
>mfw

I’m sorry, user...

your gf had a yeast infection, sorry but she fucked someone else while you were away

Eh, I was home every or every other weekend. But who knows.

>12 year old giving relationship advice

You can get a yeast infection from sex, but guys don't tend to get them. You get them from not washing. You're extra stupid. GJ

yeast infections can be spontaneous in women; probably didn't cheat although wtf with your other stories??

Not exactly gross but profoundly unfulfilling.
A gf of mine wasn't into foreplay. She didn't like to be rubbed, fingered, eaten out, nothing. She just laid on top of me and ground her dry snatch on my dick until she was ready. Of course, by then my dick hurt.

I know that girl, a French one from metz

"PUNCTUATION IS FOR FAGGOTS!"

once washed my face after eating my ex's pussy and it turned the water brown

I'd got really into licking my girl's butthole, getting my tongue deep inside it and foolishly thought I was getting a scat fetish.
One night when we were both really fucked up, I started making moves on her and she said she needed to take a shit first. After some persuasion I convinced her to hold it for a little longer then shit on my face. She sat on my face, I'm licking her butt. She asks if I'm ready and I'm really sure about it.
Turned out I wasn't into scat after all. First was the nastiest farts ever in my mouth and nose, some nugs and liquid shit hit my face then I see the turd coming out.
One of my worst ever life choices was opening my mouth wide and putting it around her butthole at that moment. That was when I discovered my girl produced very big logs. I choked on it, threw up everywhere and was sick for days. Never went near her butthole again.

This is funny as hell

maybe he had an infection and you swallowed his chunky nut pus.

pls tell me its fake

This would be me.
Please please please oh dear God what the urph blurghhh have it done no no nooooo noo oh god sob


More please

owo

are you by chance dating Andy Sixx??

Chunky jizz can happen, if you are on SSRI's and up to a month after.

537

Gf was deepthroating and threw up on my dick. Sucked through the puke for a good 10 minutes. Took it in the ass and pussy with puke not cleaned up yet then still finished me off by sucking it again and swallowing my load

And she's a woman *vomits*

joey Diaz?