Ask a guy who just tied off his hemorrhoid anything

Ask a guy who just tied off his hemorrhoid anything.

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did u name it

How?
How did you see what you were doing?
And why?

Nope.
Do you have a name in mind?

any of yall niggas know where i can find this vid

was it recomended by a Dr?

How did you actually do it?

what happens next?

u did what

Poop olive

I wouldn't recommend cutting blood supply to an hemorrhoid thats not fully internal OP

I was sitting on a towel on the floor of the bathroom. And placed a small mirror between my legs so I could see what’s going on.

I used dental floss as string. I made a special - self-tightening knot - and stuck the loop over my thumb and index finger. With these 2 fingers I then grabbed the thing and with the other hand carefully pulled on the strings to tighten it.

that can't be safe. why'd you do this.

why not?

did you tie it trying to kill it through hypoxia

Can you please wipe better, i can see the shit on your asshole

that's a smart way to get rid of it

what are you going to do next?

Yes of course. I want the damn thing to die. I live in germany so I have „muh free healthcare“, however, the doctors in germany are very incompetent so I’d rather just do it myself.

depends on your pain tolerance I guess, it will get painful after a few days

Disneyland

Every other day I will make a new loop around it and make it tighter until it finally falls off. In the meantime I’ll do my best to keep it clean and bacteria-free using hydrogen peroxide.

Are you going to keep it after it falls off?

Believe me, this shit is painful. I think I’ll smoke a big fat one to ease the pain. But I can handle it.

For sure I’ll make a picture and post it here after it falls off. If you will pay for the fees I could also mail it to you.

How is your ass so fucked up? Do you get plowed daily?

ye its a gamble, tying internal hemorrhoids its safer

the link is right in the pic
who are you calling a nigger, nigger?

link for pic related pls

>the doctors in germany are very incompetent
>so instead, i'm going to trust somebody who is completely incompetent

see bitch

I really don’t know why... and I’m only 25. I never stick things up my ass and am also not homosexual. I guess it’s genetic ...

are you in the east and do many germans think this way

Jullian call it fucking jullian only assholes are called jullian.

Jullian if you are on rn I fucking hate you fagot

How can you tie internal if it's inside?

Make a post after it gets infected and you go septic

For Op's external hemorrhoid, can't you just poke it with a needle and let the blood drain out on and it just turns into dry dead skin? I've never done this before though

I trust myself more than I trust most doctors. There was really only one doctor in my life which genuinely knew his shit and who really had my respect. Unfortunately this was also the only doctor I have ever paid for: 300€/hour. But tbh paying 300€ is better than getting muh free healthcare from a retard

A doctor would do that for you

I just push my Jimmy styles back up, NO HOMO.
I have tips

I‘m a bit scared to do that: it’s extremely sensitive to touch. Also there is a hard „lump“ inside. This thing is not merely filled with blood . Poking a hole in it won’t make it smaller in my estimation

Oh fuck that's pain. I just lived with my hemmeroid until it went away on its own

You win nothing from that and risk infection and a lot of pain

where did you get it?

Doctors don't know nutthin op, they just jelly cause you found a cure for 50 cents, over paying their worthless ass 20k.

>replying to a spam bot

Didn’t even read thread. Why didn’t you go to a doctor/ER retard?

so what do you expect will happen you stupid nigger

1. That the blood flow has stopped into the hemmoroid and it will die. So, dead tissue isnt good for your body. It will get infected. You have a hole full of shit nearby that will infect your wound.

2. That you will die from a hemorroid. Then you re good to go.

Fucking idiot

I remember my hemmorhoid.
>painful ass lump
>it will go away
>go to work
>feel ass crack get slippery
>fuckisharted.png
>go to bathroom
>wipe
>nothing but blood and clotted tissue
>panic mode engaged
>go to hospital
>doctor plays with my ass and removes huge clot
>Bleed for days after
Proper diet keeps shit like this from happening. I learned my fucking lesson

You do know that this is the standard procedure of removing hemorrhoids right? Tie them off and let them die.

Medfag detected.
You don’t need to be mad just because I’m able to help myself and you therefore don’t get any money.

I had an extremely deep wart a few years ago on my foot. This thing was so deep that I would have required an operation. What did I do? Foot-Saltwater-bath every day and very highly concentrated vinegar. I basically burned a hole into my foot with the acid and any doctor would have gone insane if I told them. But it didn’t get infected and I didn’t need an unnecessary operation.

I'd like to ask why you couldn't wipe your arse before you took this shot.

I would also like to ask what you will do when this all goes wrong and you wind up in hospital with that huge bill anyway, that one you were probably trying to avoid by doing backyard surgery. You didn't actually do it in the backyard did you?

I was going to ask if you were murican, but it's pretty obvious that you are, or you would probably have gone to hospital.

I was thinking OP.

Hemorrhoids become open sores just by shitting. Overall decreased risk in the long run

want that 20k bro? you mad cause you can't get that moneys we found a cure for hemorrhoids. This nigger is a pusher for the man.

If you actually had read the thread, you’d know I’m not american. About the shit: sorry - I noticed it after I took the picture and decided I was too lazy to make a new one with a clean ass. Also this imageboard is anonymous and I don’t give a shit

Don't use peroxide. Use running alcohol. Peroxide will just make it easier to get infected

They give you acid in a bottle to treat warts you stupid cunt. Costs around $10 or so. More powerful, sterile, and effective than vinegar. And yes, amazingly the idea is to burn a hole in the wart until the roots die. And the saltwater bath was not necessary, you could have saved all that trouble.

You and OP should get together and play poker and russian roulette.

bro i got an idea to keep it from getting infected what if you just drank a bottle of vodka a day then bacteria wouldn't live in your body.

What is the reasoning behind it?

>literally too stupid to get a $10 bottle of wart remover

It would have died in two days, you fucking idiot.

...

It looks like you gave a fair bit of shit actually. Did it not occur to you that you have left shit right next to the place you are attempting to 'operate' on? You have pretty much guaranteed an infection.

Just because you live in Germany doesn't mean you aren't murican, even if you were born in Germany, you are murican in your heart.

I know it’s possible to get special medication for warts. I had tried them but that shit wasn’t strong enough. I need to feel the pain - only then do I know that it is dieing.

myhealthwire.com/news/mind-body/553

i do not understand

You did it wrong. You should have used the acid twice a day, and cut the dead layer of skin off each time with a scalpel before using the acid. No way is vinegar stronger than wart killing acid.

You stupid nigger, this is a common procedure that doctors do to get rid of them.

Vinegar is much stronger! Look it up. This wart stuff is so weak because the companies are scared that you’ll sue them if you have any pain or it kills off healthy tissue as well - so they play it safe.

Dude thats an expanded vain you fucking moron.

You went totally RAMBO

hahahahahahahaha

if you read the thread it has the answers dumb nigger

the mother of idiots is always pregnant and squirts them out all around the globe, it seems

op will you post daily progress? this is interesting.

What do you think a hemorrhoid is? Are you retarded or what?

its how doctors do it

Another german here: only op thinks that way.

nope.

Only if something interesting occurs.
For sure I’ll post when the thing finally falls off.

I am a surgeon, this is not safe op you risk infection and cutting a nerve. You may live but severing a never could leave you paralyzed. You should see a professional.

A doctor can prescribe the stuff in stronger purity than over the counter if it is needed.

you need some more fiber in your diet nigger

In all seriousness iam fucking impressed and amused in equal measures.
Possibly up there with the greatest thread ever.

take a needle and make it hot with a lighter
and then pop it

What for? Acid is acid? It’s not like they give you some „magic acid“. The only reason that vinegar isn’t prescribed by doctors is because it is not patentable and there is no money to be made. If you think otherwise then you’re eirher beainwashed or dumb.

Fuck my phone...

murrica wheres your free health care? Oh thats right you voted for a a baboon with bad hair to be your president. good luck living in a 3rd world country.

Tying a string around it is probably your best course of action. That hard ‘lump’ is a little sac your body puts all of the secretion from the hemmorhoid. If you tried lancing it it’d almost surely come back. But if you tie a knot there’s a good chance the sac itself will also dry up and fall off. I definitely recommend you get some triple antibiotic cream for the off chance of it getting infected. Make sure to keep the area very clean. Also weed (most notably indica strain) may help but if the pain gets truly intense, I recommend that you buy Kratom and drink it as a brewed tea. I’m 99% sure it’s legal in your country.

don't forget your tinfoil hat.
you're one of those believing in Schietti's engine I suppose

I thought it was only Smericans who don't get irony. You just tied of a vein on your arsehole with dental floss, you even left shit caked right next to what will soon be an open wound. You don't get to call anyone dumb ever again.

Im saying hes stupid as fuck to tie off a major artery in your anus, because he gonna blood clot and die.

The only people who need free healthcare are poor. I'd rather pay once a year for my checkup than pay into a system that I won't use but will claim 20% of my taxes.

At least if I get cancer I won't have to sit in front of a committee that gets to tell me whether my tax dollars will help me or if they're going to let me die.

Also, we were already third world. The only people who elect negros are African shitholes and Murrica

Oh and I forgot to ask, is this like the scene where they ask Homer if he is just holding on to the can instead of letting go when he is stuck inside the vending machine?

Did you actually try eating a bowl of bran everyday for a month to get rid of the hemorrhoid before you did this?

Thanks for the tips.
Would you recommend putting on the cream as a precautionary measure asap - or should I watch it carefully and use it only if I notice something unusual ?

sup i just zoomed in and immediately smelled a rotten stinky taste.
wtf are aour shit residuals smelling through the internet?
Or maybe it was just my dog farting.

It’s all really up to you. I’d apply the cream as soon as it falls off which should be within 36-48 hours of you tying it. Also, try to keep the area clean (no brainer).

Same here. My GF used ward remover for half a year on my toe and also cut the skin with a small scissor.
Someday the whole thing fell off looking like black particles.
Cumulated the pain wasn't worth it tough I guess.

See. You needed wart remover for half a year. My shit was gone within a week. Wart remover is weak af.

>expanded vein
>major artery
Pick one. Also:
>Lrn 2 oxygenate

Just wait 'til they come out.

You mean like, admit that they are gay?

Dummer Bernd,

1. Germany hat eine der besten, freien Gesundheitssysteme der Welt
2. Wer nicht gelernt hat seinen Arschloch nach dem kakken mit Wasser zu waschen und zu massieren, der ist ein Unterschichtproll ohne Hirn und Zukunft
3. Abbinden das machen wir bei den Schafen am Schwanz. Ok, kann funktionieren kann aber auch eine Blutvergiftung nach sich ziehen