This is a bad picture, but ignore that.
I want a really good list of actually useless superpowers.
I remember seeing so many good ones back in the older days of Sup Forums, and unfortunately, every other forum has failed and has unfunny ideas. Even worse, most people come up with a superpower that DOES have a use.
I want your best Sup Forums. Name the most useless superpowers you can think of.
tldr;useless superpowers.. GO!
the power to attract ugly women
The ability to turn anything room temperature instantly
ability to lose a part of your body at any time or place.
This is useful
But you can never grow them back.
you could get them to do whatever you want
very useful for thawing things
If you get in a situation where you need amputation in order to survive, this would have its use.
ability ot turn gays into bisexuals
The ability to be incapable of getting dubs
could be useful if youre a femanon who wants to fuck a gay guy
useful for certain posts
To be fair to matter-eater lad he can eat ANYTHING
Like, theoretically he could devour the entire observable universe
Imagine this nigga at those "All you can eat if you finish it all in 30 mins its free" shit
abillity to shoot shit out of my eyes into the eyes of my enemies so they get blind
i know, the pic is bad and i admitted that. But its becuse people cant come up with a good one
very useful. not funny
power of turning wine into water (stale, smelly and non-drinkable water)
ability to sage every thread instantly
bumping with tits
definitively usefull
ability to turn white people into blacks
could be very useful for a night cover-op
Anything can be useful in the right context. The power to make OP not be a faggot
sabotage wine companies at tastings. Sabotage someone you dont like. Free shit at restaurants by complaining they gave you shit
hum you're right, did not see this thru
OP is always a faggot, if you had the power to make him not a faggot, it would be useful
The power to move time forward by 6-8 hours, at will. But you can only use it once a day, and must be used once a day, otherwise you take negs.
Ability to actually believe Donald trump is a good president and should be president for another 7 years
the ability to teleport to your curent location
The ability to tell, just by looking, one of the insurance providers a person does not have coverage with.
You can kill people instantly
the power to give people extremely useless super powers. Eg. You can go invisible but only while screaming.
exactly
The ability to turn brown rice into white rice. The ability to detach your toes and throw them. They don't grow back. The ability to become shorter. But only down to 5'1. And you can't regrow afterwards. The ability to turn any friend into an enemy.
avoiding detection of non-audio cameras
those could all have a use. they suck but theyre not useless. I know its not a superpower but wicker bedpans are the equivalent to a useless superpower
Can start a thread on Sup Forums without a picture.
Give me one example of how turning a friend into an enemy could be beneficial.
Jokes on you, I already have the super power to turn friends into enemies. Same way pop eye eats spinach to activate his true power level, a 30 case of beer does it for me in minutes
OK how about this one, the power too give a person 1 strand of hair on their taint. BUT you have to be in a gay parade.
invisibility but only when noone is looking
the power to freeze ice
didnt know that. back in the day, you had to
The abilty to be off the ground only by your dick
The ability to die, at will, simply by holding your breath for six minutes.
The ability to telepathically move only a toothpick one millionth of an inch once a year.
justify robbing him? Say your friend loaned you money. Now youre not socially inclined to pay him back.
The ability to change only the color of your skin white.
Quit getting super drunk around your friends girlfriends and trying to get with them. Or just hangout with your friends that are single. I'm guessing that's what you do because most guys won't stop being your friend if you get super drunk and say something mean.
the ability of amazing hindsight
Its just a joke m8
there was one guy...
Ability to move at inhumanly slow speeds
The power to grow moderate body hair by eating other people's hair
The power to use WinZip without a licence
What if you're a dark skinned Hispanic with Caucasian features and want to get into Richard Spencer's ethnostate? What if you're a black guy with Caucasian features like Idris Elba and get pulled over by a cop?
Yeah I guess it could be useful actually. Say Trump wanted to fire Jeff Sessions. It would be easier if he made Jeff hate him and had him go one MSNBC talking crap.
That would be sick. Cocks ups jack black style.
Are you crazy? That's 83 millionths of an inch on average, damn I'd kill for that power woah dude.
Useful if you want to show that teleportation can be done. That'd be an invention
Good for surgery
Teleportation is instantanous travelling, it can't be seen. you'll just end up exactly where you are
I'd go to every gay parade. Them mother fuckers would have hairy taints
The ability to kill anyone with a look but you always miss your intended target
But once a year for 10 seconds, choose wisely
You would know if someone is looking at you. I mean imagine being in ur car, picking ur nose or something then you suddenly turn visible, ur like oh fuck, someone is looking at me
I mean, ur drink would never get watered down
>implying Richard Spencer has an ethnostate or the ability to create one
>implying pulling the racism card isn't better than being white
The power to solve captchas
the hot dog gate: turn everything you look at into a hotdog
that's called falling asleep
A bottle of tequila and not telling my friends did it for me. They just thought I was stupid.
The power to change into a nigger jew but you always end up in a auschwitz gas chamber or 1860s georgia
HOT DOG GAZE FOR FUCKS SAKE
Ability to turn invisible when nobody is watching you (includes cams)
Nothing bad would happen twice
The ability to find normemes hilarious and the urge to share them among your peers
That'd be cool. Who doesn't eat other people hair?
The ability to hear and smell whenever someone is pooping in a 5 mile radius.
Is that a super power? I have a super power! No fucking way
Not useless, but definitely more negative than positive
If you were laying down, would u instantly be right side up?
The power to have all your poop form into the most beautiful sculptures while in your rectum, but as they pass through your sphincter they just get squeezed into normal poop shape anyway
thats just not funny. too many stipulations. such a stretch
No you'd be laying down
The ability to lick fur without getting hair on your tongue
Now your adding stuff, but I would go to marches and shit. Like 70 hairs on their taints by the time I'm done. Then my kids will do the same. In 300 years, gays across the world would have hairy taints
The ethnostate is already getting built. Nazis are the poor 20 year olds without education. Richard Spencer is a Nazbol. Nazbols are mostly millionaires who hide in the shadows. They're going to build an ethnostate but it's probably going to be no poor fags allowed. Also it was my understanding that you could turn white and then back to your original pigment. Getting the best of both worlds. It could also be used to have sex with a racist white girl or an Asian girl.
They'll take you back. Just make an effort.
The Dog-welder is an actual super hero. He welds dead dogs onto people.
I am battery man. I have the power to make a random battery within 100 miles refill it's charge an extra 10% once every 12 hours
That's like Midas touch man, but I'd be dating a hotdog, fucking hotdogs, eating hot dogs, drink hot dogs. I'd adapt
Fuck. You did good then. I'm proud of you user
You could collapse neutron stars, even put out the sun and destroy black holes with that.
The power to breathe in the deepest part of the ocean floor but only if you touch the ground with your feet
Ability to see into the past but only parts of your life
a pOWER tO cAPITALISE eVERY lETTER wITHOUT tHE fIRST oNE
I puked on them and called them faggots and punched one. I don't remember what happened but they won't talk to me. So I just ignored them for years
great for finding my fucking keys and cheating on tests
the power to seize the means of production any time i wanted
This is gold
Tell them to get over it. You're all men. You probably need to apologize first.