Hey Sup Forums, my mom's making me go see a psychologist tomorrow

Hey Sup Forums, my mom's making me go see a psychologist tomorrow.
What's some weird shit to tell him i suffer from, so he freaks out?

anal vore

tell him you're an insufferable attention whore who aggravates everyone in his life to the point that his own mother had to send him to a psychologist because she's at her wit's end

haha that'll show him haha

Tell em you un ironically make shit memes

underage b&

also this

Say you like to consume large amounts of soy

Tell him you are suicidal and plan to kill yourself when you get home. They love that.

>Able to read my life through 2 lines of text
wew lad

I don't think i need to go, she's just worried because of the stress college has given me lately

Take a shit on his desk. That should get things going

> has the ability to get medical help from a doctor
> Decides to go on Sup Forums and fuck with him

if you want some antidepressants just tell him/her you have trouble sleeping

prettend like you have no interest for sex

say you sometimes hear people calling your name

Tell him that you take your mom's used panties for self pleasure practices at night and can't get around the idea of her giving you "sex lessons", tell him that you are unable to sleep at nights until you have masturbated at least 4 times thinking about your mom.

pic related

i eat soy sometimes

my memes are top fucking percentage

wish i had the balls or the bowels to do this

>no interest in sex
what would that say about me?

>Able to read my life through 2 lines of text

it's not a superpower or anything, it's quite painfully obvious actually

tell them the holocaust wasn't real. That should get things going

> (You)
>>no interest in sex
>what would that say about me?

Schizophrenia

They're gonna laugh at your made up stuff with their workmates. Like I am.

tell him you have a severe Oedipal complex lol

Tell him that you love how mom beats you everytime you do something right, and then ask for a smack cuz you a good boy who tells the truth

Or u could be honest and not be a piece of shit like your parents and your parents parents and your parents parents parents. Or as i like to say, fix your low self esteem. Loser

Spbp
Tell him nothing OP. Then he can't prescribe you the medication you clearly need and when you neck yourself we'll have less children on the site

Nothing, act like an adult which we know you aren't since your mom is making you go.
Maybe he'll provide treatment for your high functioning autism.

Show him this.

Stop being a douche.

all the good ones that people post in this thread, but do them + OCD. you have obsessive compulsive whatever weird shit Sup Forums comes up with. go into great detail about how you just can't stop and you have no control and you don't know why

also fetishes

i did this with my shrink some years back and he refused to see me after that. bitch mom got out of my hair COMPLETELY after that

Shut the fuck up. And refuse.

Do not tell him you suffer from something when you are 100% healthy. By the way screencap this so you know you are healthy and someone told you. He will give you some shit/meds and you will be registered for life. They can just say crazy and take away your rights. So unless you like being a disabled retard....

Shut your mouth or tell that bitch to go fuck herself.

This. Now its funny. It won't be funny when the system rapes you

How's the eight grade going, lil goy?

Tell him novels and television shows contain secret messages only you are able to interpret and that Taylor Swift is is love with you.

>psychoLOGist