I hit my wall, Sup Forums. I'm tired of the never-ending uphill battle...

I hit my wall, Sup Forums. I'm tired of the never-ending uphill battle. I've been doing this for 42 years and there's nothing left in me. I can tell what's ahead of me and it's more of the same.

So I'm checking out tonight. I've put all my affairs in order. My will has been put together and signed, I threw out anything I don't want anyone to have after I'm gone. All assets liquidated, executor of my estate has been chosen, beneficiaries selected. I had one last drink or meal with anyone I care about or am friends with, which was a smaller list than even I thought it would be.

So tonight I'm going out in a one of two ways: A bottle of sleeping pills with vodka and opening the veins in the tub with the shower going so I don't make a big mess to clean, or jumping from my balcony (22 floors up). There's little traffic on the street at night, foot or car, so very little danger of hitting anyone. But it will make a mess, but it removes the chance of someone accidentally coming across me and reviving me.

Post results

Atleast stream it

You'll need to hold a seance to get the feed.

If I do it in the tub I will. If I jump, it'll be at night and pretty tough to do / see anything if i set the laptop up across the street

Then do it in the tub

Maybe. But I don't think anyone wants to see a fat guy bleed out in the tub. Plus, some moralfag will report it and some admin will trace it and it might increase the chances of them finding me/trying to save me.

Why don't you just realise your biological imperative to adapt and overcome.

Knowledge is power and pain is just sharp condensed injections of a LOT of knowledge.

Depression is a black hole in the mind that crushes rationality ad infinitum, try and realise this and change your perspective. I think your just dysthemic bro.

Ok if you’re larping then I do want you to die.

If you’re being serious don’t kill yourslf and definitely don’t listen to the autistic spergs on here telling you to kill yourself they ar miserable and hate there lives and want others to be miserable too and having you kill yours of will entertain there sad pathetic lives. This is the only thing I can say life gets better and if it doesn’t who cares? If you don’t value your life society is at your mercy you can literally do what you want. You could rob somewhere and get rich and maybe get away, you can go around hitting people you hate with hammers and run away and maybe escape. You could even do something crazy like try and kill someone important and go down in the history books. Don’t kill yourself user that’s the boring and easy answer.

>assets
>home
>family
>friends

Cry me a river you fucking faggot

Why do you want to make it painless or some shit? Go on a fucking rampage man. Death by cop. Show these new-aged faggots what a true ancient fag is about! BECOME BATMAN!

There's literally no good reason to kill yourself and if you want a friend I'll come live near you or by you
Killing yourself is a waste if you lived to 40 then you know all the things you like and don't like
Just get out of your head and stop listening to thoughts in your head cause there probably Whrong

>Why don't you just realise your biological imperative to adapt and overcome.
I've been adapting and overcoming for 42 years. I'm tired of it.

>Knowledge is power and pain is just sharp condensed injections of a LOT of knowledge.
>Depression is a black hole in the mind that crushes rationality ad infinitum, try and realise this and change your perspective. I think your just dysthemic bro.

I'm not depressed, I'm bored. I'm irritated. It's the same shit over and over. Worry about family. Worry about maintaining relationships. Worry about money. Worry about jobs. Worry about what to do next. Worry about Health. Worry about the past. Worry about the future.

It's a fucking rat race, and it's so boooooring. I tried travelling. It's like everywhere else, except the people are even bigger douchebags and I don't understand them. I tried falling in love. I got bored with everyone eventually. I tried being materialistic, making a bunch of money and buying shit. That didn't do anything for me. I tried volunteering and helping. The people who need the most help are the biggest group of thankless douchebags around. There isn't enough room in a comment to list the shit I tried and how it failed to move me.

Some people aren't suited to life. It happens. I gave it the old college try, but christ on a crutch how long do you have to endure before you're allowed to say "enough"?

I've been seeing an-hero threads on Sup Forums for years.

Look, user. You think your life is meaningless and that you have nothing left to offer. I am urging you to reconsider.

If you're going to an-hero, do it in spectacular style. Get a list of all the pedophiles in your immediate area. The more gruesome their crime, the better. Go buy a gun and start killing them one at a time. Make sure to let us know so we can track your progress. You, my friend, will become immortal. The man that thought he had nothing to offer, yet saved countless others. When the police have you cornered, then you an-hero. Quick, easy. Leave a note on your person explaining what you did and why you did it. You'll be a legend.

>"There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and like it, never care for anything else thereafter."

You're assuming i'm depressed. I'm not. I'm not checking out because I'm a failure. I'm checking out because I succeeded and I'm still bored off my tits.

I've wanted to kill myself for 6 years. Truly it doesn't get any better. Clichés are stupid. I'll be joining you soon if you do it. I'll probably die within a few months. Within this year I'll probably be gone.

Then do Or this Or this If you kill yourself without doing something spectacular you truly are worthless my friend

leave this world with glory. get a truck and run over 200 people. You will never be forgotten

Me three bro
It never gets better

>Look, user. You think your life is meaningless and that you have nothing left to offer. I am urging you to reconsider.

What the fuck are you talking about? I know I have tons to offer. That's not some obligation to stick around. This is a strictly a selfish act. I'm comfortable with that.

As for the anti-pedo thing, you guys need to stop giving them so much shit. I mean, yeah, the guys who fuck a 10 year old girl, they're fucked in the head. But if it's some fat titted 14 year old who's got an insane body and legs that never end, keep in mind humans are biologically wired to be attracted to three things: Beauty, Health and Youth. There's a reason "teen" is the most popular category on porn sites.

This chick Angie Varona was 14 when she was putting these pictures up. She knew what she was doing.

I didn't say depressed I said dysthemic.

Sounds like you do a lot of worrying..

You just need something new for fuck sake.. This whole not cut out for life bullshit is enfuriating excuse making behaviour. Your just not cut out for the life YOU ARE CHOOSING TO BELIEVE YOUR MEANT TO HAVE. Go join a hippie commune, get off the grid and take acid till you lose enough ego to realise its not all about YOU.

I said CHANGE your perspective. Not ARGUE why my point of view is unreasonable.

I get that your stubborn because you aren't happy but its literally 2 or 3 chemicals in your brain leading you to where you are. Find your catalyst. Don't be weak.

Op, just reboot.
Move, become a drifter,

For sake of argument you are dead now. Restart.
Try again

I actually gave serious thought of going to the observation deck of a very tall skyscraper, ducking into a bathroom to put on a wile-e-coyote costume with a sign taped to my head that said "OUCH!", shooting out a window and jumping. But I have a good chance of landing on someone. I'm a dick but not that much of a dick.

It's be a pretty funny gag tho.

>wanted to do it for 6 years
>probably within a few months
>probably within this year
Yeah you're totally not just looking for attention.
If your life was this shit you would have done it 6 years ago. Man up and win at life.

Ok this isn't okay cause I just remembered all the times I told myself i have so much to live for and now I'm looking back at my choices in life
On b for 9 years,imagen looking at a computer screen for this long and working and doing everything else that's life related and compile that with my choices and habits
I'll never drink or do drugs
Now I smoke 2g a day to help get to sleep from insomnia

I should have killed myself the first time

Cool dude

You’re blatantly ignoring everyone’s suggestions to do something massive to die as a Viking, killing someone important, go on a rampage etc. You’re clearly a coward and not going to kill yourself fuck you

a. friends are overrated
b. 42 is still fucking young

I've been doing something new for the past 20 years. I've worked a ton of jobs. I've worked no jobs. I've dedicated myself to myself, i've dedicated myself to others. Shit I even tried anti-depressants for years on the off-chance it was a chemical thing.

But every day it's the same thing. Same stupid planet. Same stupid people. Same stupid breathing in and out. Sun rises. Sun sets. To borrow the addage: same shit, different day. Even if I was to become supreme dictator of the world, I'd get bored of it in less than a year and I'd be exactly where I am now. At least when I was a kid things were new and kind of interesting. But I realized after I travelled all over the world that If that didn't inspire me, nothing would. Same stupid people Same stupid me.

And frankly if it's not all about me, that's another reason to check out. Like I said. I'm selfish.

Nope.


I personally believe in a hell (inb4 religious debate). I am not religious but I do believe there is more to it than just THIS. Basically my fear of hell is literaly the ONLY reason I have chosen to live this long.

Right? At what point do you get to say "Okay, i've tried this. It's stupid. I want to get off the ride" without the boohoo brigade fawning over you giving you the "you have so much to live for" speech?

In a hundred years, nobody is going to know or care who I was.. Hell, in 40 nobody will. And that honestly suits me just fine.

if you kill yourself you will go to hell anyway, so just get a gun and kill everyone in your path till some cop shoots your fucking brains out from your skull

I just don't wanna hurt someone else. I don't wanna be remembered. I enjoy being offsides. I'm not happy about some of the pain that I'll cause, but I've had a lot of my family die in the last and the one thing I learned is you get over it. Life goes on. At least for them. Those drama queens who shut down? Whos lives are completely destroyed by someone dying? They're totally unsuited for existence. They never had a chance.

What family I do have, it'll hurt for a while, but they'll get over it eventually. We always did.

I'm not really worried about this afterlife thing. Actually I'd be REALLY pissed off if there is one. Die only to fucking live again - this time forever?

I would wipe the floor with gods jew-loving ass if he existed and did that.

Look man, to give you some BG to where I'm coming from, my father strung himself up before I was actually born. I'm a living product of suicide. I've thought about it every which way inside out and back to front. There's no way I'll ever truly understand what's inside your head, nor my fathers. I'm not here to stop you on your path but merely offer my opinion. Something you cried out for posting on this Japanese laundry folding forum.

I'm not saying don't kill yourself but holy FUCK have you experimented with change in the most boring, socially acceptable, polite 9-5 tax paying middle class way possible.

Charity work? Your not going to redistribute the worlds wealth, that shit is a small ego token of guilt relief.

Travelling? What are you a fucking 42 year old social media influencer?

Do something for you that you actually desired when you were a kid. Me, it was building a fast car with my own hands. Find your thing.

If I actually believed that I would have done it but I believe this creator is a tyrant and that I will go to hell regardless of what I do. Me existing right now prolongs hell. I lose whether I stay or go. Both existance are shit though.

sounds like youre having a midlife crysis, and shit, i understand you im 25 and already tired of this shit, i cant imagine being 42.. you said that you tried everything, but i never read anythin about children, maybe thats why youre feeling this way, you didnt do your most important mission, reproduce. oor i might be wrong, who cares

this
i do
>Plus, some moralfag will report it and some admin will trace it and it might increase the chances of them finding me/trying to save me.
then barricade yourself

people with children kills themselves too, so it´s worthless your advise. What you need to live is faith

Or camera, flashlight, and mobile hotspot to stream while falling

i said i might be wrong, i dont have children, but im just saying that he said he tried absolutely everything, but he didnt try that

>Look man, to give you some BG to where I'm coming from, my father strung himself up before I was actually born. I'm a living product of suicide. I've thought about it every which way inside out and back to front. There's no way I'll ever truly understand what's inside your head, nor my fathers. I'm not here to stop you on your path but merely offer my opinion. Something you cried out for posting on this Japanese laundry folding forum.

Jesus Christ man, your dad killed himself just to avoid being around you? Talk about being born under a bad sign.

But I can totally sympathize. My mom died 4 months before I was born.

>I'm not saying don't kill yourself but holy FUCK have you experimented with change in the most boring, socially acceptable, polite 9-5 tax paying middle class way possible.
>Charity work? Your not going to redistribute the worlds wealth, that shit is a small ego token of guilt relief.

Well, the idea of it was I'm a selfish person, so maybe externalize my focus to help people out. It had predictable results.

>Travelling? What are you a fucking 42 year old social media influencer?
Well, in fairness It was over a long period of time from 25-current day. They always say broadening your exposure to the world was supposed to make you appreciate the world and see things differently. It basically reminded me that outside western society, it's a fucking hellhole and I how they all don't die out of sheer terror is beyond me.

>Do something for you that you actually desired when you were a kid. Me, it was building a fast car with my own hands. Find your thing.

Building a working, fully functional-like-in-the-movies R2-D2 Is impossible. Despite what the trannys say, it is impossible to actually become a fire truck, and Connie Seleca is too old and wrinkly to fuck these days. I suppose I could find a younger look-alike, but that's no guarentee she'd let me fuck her while wearing the Greatest American Heror costume, even if I did pay her.

Cont'd

I think also that this is just an assured neurological pathway that you've told yourself over and over that this will solve everything and no one will care anyway bla bla

Pharmaceuticals will not "make sure its not a chemical thing"

Seriously do some research on MDMA, ketamine and DMT therapies.

>My mom died 4 months before I was born.

I've been having a midlife crisis since I was in my mid-20's. I've been like this since around then.

Once you've done everything you wanted, achieved every goal you set out to achieve, done everything on your bucket list and none of it left much of an impression on you, then what?

I could try all the craft brews in the world, but I hate beer. I could grow the worlds longest beard, but that sounds really fucking stupid. This isn't something I've come to out of nowhere. I've been trying to answer "what's next?" for 20+ years.

I peaked too early. I was poor. I was rich. I did what I loved for so long I learned to hate it.

At a certain point, you just have to say "enough".

how pathetic way to go....at least if you are serious...do coke and fuck hookers. And if you dont have the money...well with that suicide attitute you could easily rob a bank or something

I've done your share of drugs, my share of drugs and everyone elses. Not as therapies, but recreational. I tried it all. And it's like sex. Or a roller coaster. Or a tv show. It's fun for a little while, but after a while it too becomes reaaaaallly fuckin' boring.

>I'm tired of the never-ending uphill battle. I've been doing this for 42 years and there's nothing left in me. I can tell what's ahead of me and it's more of the same.
Yes, yes, yes... welcome to the club... I have 10+ years on you. It's like being trapped on a sinking ship, you know death is waiting. My choices were made long ago, and now it's just a matter of waiting, see what kind of cancer I get or whatever.

I wish I had some good advice for you, but I sure don't. I'd prefer a firearm as an exit vehicle, personally.

Hang in there. If we ever meet in real life, I'll buy you a taco and a few beers... enjoy what's good, ignore the rest.

well, if thats your choice and you feel that way, then go ahead, i wont think less of you for offing yourself, i would if you had kids or hurt someone, but this was its just your life. Bye bye

why nature consider usefull a monkey? just to reproduce? that theory lacks of intelligence

I could but every time I see a hooker I just see some dummy who got diddled by her dad and took the job that best helps her adjust to him missing her dance recitals. Besides, I have a weird sensitivity issue with my dick and I can't nut with a condom. Most hookers won't do bareback. And coke was fun, but I ended up stopping because it always took forever to recover the older I got.

Naw, I want a clear head. The pills and the vodka are just to depress the system while I bleed out. Extra dose to ensure I go, and hopefully it'll be relatively painless.

Right?! It's a fucking sinking ship that keeps bobbing back up for some reason, and there's no lifeboats and everyone else on the ship is a huge dickhead. Whiny SJW's. Stupid trumpfucks. Black people angry about being poor. Asians bitching about how they don't get movie roles. Mexicans bitching that they need more lemon pledge. It's a fucking mercy to jump off the side and into the drink.

I'd do a gun but I don't wanna leave a mess.

>Well, in fairness It was over a long period of time from 25-current day. They always say broadening your exposure to the world was supposed to make you appreciate the world and see things differently.

>they say
>they
This is what I meant about the life you think your meant to have man. No expectations no disappointments.


>Building a working, fully functional-like-in-the-movies R2-D2 Is impossible.

How defeatist. People are automating their entire homes from their garages with $100 arduino kits and your just gonna call building an 80's robot impossible? You know they put man on the moon with less processing power than whats infront of you?

Its not about doing ALOT of drugs recreationally either. Fuck your culture man wow. Its about dosage and environment. Don't dispell MDMA ketamine or DMT therapy without at the very least having a scroll on google about it. I'm talking at the very least doing it sensibly with someone who knows their shit. Not sucking back a bottle of single malt and chewing 8mg of xanax at a bus stop..

Also you are now defeatistchan

>R2D2

I'm not talking about a little garbage can that rolls around. I mean, a functional, personality filled robot that goes around fixing shit and getting me out of tight spots. Short of building a soundproof robot and welding a midget in it, I don't think it'll happen. And even then it would just become irritating like all other people.

That's why I kept thinking "Man, if only aliens would show up, that would be new and interesting" but again it would be interesting for a little while before you realize it's just another group of assholes, this time they'd likely have a superiority complex.

>defeatist

I can live with that. At least until tonight.

What about your son? My dad was 42 when he died and my life was ruined on that day.

Why go through so much trouble to put affairs in order? You'll be dead and won't care

Dude. I feel like this right now.

But I don't have a kid! You do, you have at least something to live for. Consider it.

Then do something else.

Ffs. I've bounced from job to job and cant settle down, I feel useless. You have been successful, and your struggle is just boredom? Change your life, you lazy selfish, prick!

Anyway I've enjoyed our chat user.
Que Sera sera.

I honestly wish you good luck on your journey no matter the destination. Hope you liked the view.

ok then it seems you have a rational view of things...then your last option is to do a breakthrough amount of DMT., if you havent done that already. If you still wanna kys then go for it

what is the livestream link?

then you definitely don't wanna jump

just fuckin do it already you pathetic bailout fuckin faggots always taking the easy way out when it get too hard like a fuckin baby lol if you were really gonna do it you wouldn't be on here bitching you'd be fuckin dead already. bitch ass nigger.

Wow al I got from this post was that you casually just do everything like it’s no big deal
> meh I made a shit ton of money and was unimpressed with wealth
> I traveled around and it was booooring!

You were right about the most needy people being thankless douche bags because you’re such a whiny and needy cunt trying to subtly look cool by telling everyone on a website how unimpressed you are with being able to do all this shit many other people wouldn’t mind doing.

You’re not suited for life because you’re a pretentious ass. Maybe you just convinced yourself that youre bored but you’re really crying like a bitch in the inside

>Record it
>Do a flip
>Be posted on /r/WatchPeopleDie
>?????

I don't think I have a son. Or any children for that matter. But if I do, it's all the more reason for me to go. The last thing I need is some little shithead showing up at my doorstep trying to reconnect with me.

I don't like to leave a mess. In the suicide or in the aftermath. A nice simple process for everyone. I'm sure they'll want to have some stupid service so I have a couple grand set aside for that. I want to be cremated, but only because they won't let me have my final wish: to have a taxidermist go to town on me and have me thrown at little kids on Halloween.

Where is this kid thing coming from? When I say family I mean brothers and sisters & extended family.

And they'll be happy - they get a nice little payday. Couple hundred grand, a nice condo on the 22nd floor, a bunch of computers that are top of the line, some really cool tech. I dunno if they have a use for FLiR thermal cameras, but they're getting one. Or for a VM Cluster machine that used to be a bitcoin miner.

So everyone gets what they want in the end.

I've been doing something else for over 20 years. At a certain point its time to call it and stop shocking the patients tits.

I got shit to do still bitch. And I'm not gonna do it during the day. I have people constantly calling me / banging on my door. I'm not going to chance anyone finding me and trying to revive me. Nothings more pathetic than the faggot who "almost committed suicide".

Why broadcast your intention in Sup Forums? If you are so set on your course why leave an avenue to reevaluate?

Life is shit most times but it has it's good moments. Forty is way less time to see shit in the world. See this shitshow through my fag!

With the way things are in the world there may be an economic collapse and societal collapse or even nukes for that matter. Interesting times ahead.

Bump

i have that same mouse

>Why broadcast your intention in Sup Forums? If you are so set on your course why leave an avenue to reevaluate?

Bored. Sumn to do. I read somewhere you're supposed to at least announce your intentions somewhere. Plus I kind of like the idea of doing it to aggravate the moralfags who inevitably come on here trying to talk people out of it. Doing it and them ultimately being powerless to stop it is kinda funny to me.

>Life is shit most times but it has it's good moments. Forty is way less time to see shit in the world. See this shitshow through my fag!

What for? I've predicted me being in this exact predicament in my late 20's. I'm REALLY good at predicting shit. I'd have been an insane insurance actuarial if it weren't so mind numbingly boring.

>With the way things are in the world there may be an economic collapse and societal collapse or even nukes for that matter. Interesting times ahead.

Not gonna happen. The fat sack of ass would be shot by his own generals before they'd allow him to start a pointless nuclear war. The economic collapse won't happen either, not for the west anyways. It'd be cool if it did though. In russia there was a huge influx of really hot hookers when shit went south. Imagine banging the girl of your dreams because she needs money to buy a bottle of vodka and bread. Good times..

No, here's what you do
Every single one of us, has been injected with mercury from vaccines, or worse, your mother had amalgams in her teeth during pregnancy.
Depression, anxiety, personality disorders, cancer, you name it. Is a result here of.
Why? Power, money, dependency, and emotional neutering of the mind.
You are not yourself right now, acknowledge this realization, because there is a cure:
And it's the only one that works, called the "Andrew Cutler Protocol" it's simple, and will give you your life back, fully this time.
Same goes for everyone else in this thread.

Why isn't the filename "mii plaza"

how much money do you make? if you are actually going to kill yourself why dont you do something awesome?

if you have money

start porn company
its really not hard to do and i bet
i bet
i fucking bet
it wouldnt be boring

My salary currently is about $145k a year plus bonuses so closer to 160k.

If I'm making porn, I'm gonna make something truly awful. Like make porn with people with downs syndrome in it, where they get to fuck normal people. I'll call it "Fuckin' Stupid"

or do like that weird incesty porn like they did in the 70's. They used to have Taboo and other shit, but now they try to pull it off and everyone is "stepsister" or "stepmom". Even the free porn sites won't allow incest descriptions. They have to put "brother fucks his not sister" or something.

Except I'd want to use actual siblings. Get some really fucked up people from Indiana or Arkansas. They actually did do it with the Milton Twins back in the 70's. Actual twins who went down on each other. You couldn't possibly get away with that today. So it'd be great to do it, release it to everyone and off myself. But I do wanna leave a bit of a payday for my siblings.

Well Most of them. My brothers not getting shit.

MAN, before you go please read this message. Don't listen to the ones who are telling you to do it, all they want is to see you and laugh. They don't even know who you are. But you know what? There's people who know you and enjoy having you around them because you are special. You have something in you. That's why you are diferent from someone else, that is pure beauty. Love yourself above all, do everything you like.

I challenge you to overcome this and start tomorrow by quitting everything you don't like, your job (you'll find a new one for sure) and do something you really like, change your routine, maybe go live somewhere else and meet new people, anything could happen. You've come a long way, why surrender now?

You can do it.
I did

LOVE

>There's literally no good reason to kill yourself and if you want a friend I'll come live near you or by you

>there probably Whrong

>There's literally no good reason to kill yourself and if you want a friend I'll come live near you or by you
you fucking crepy vastard, making me laugh so hard

If you have the money and the time, please build a DIY rocket to try and get you into space. If it fails you get your wish, but if it doesnt, well, I dunno.

I just wish we had DIY rockets already, you know?

...

nature doesn't consider a specific species useful. you evolve based on your surroundings.

Don't give up user. Fight until the end.

Oh my god, this message alone has firmly cemented my resolve to do it tonight. I was 100% going to do it tonight, but i'm 120% going to do this simply to not have to live in a world with someone like you in it.

This post gave me fucking diabetes.

Why dont you take out some shitbag who needs to die before you go? Gang leader? Child molester? Asshole politician? Kim Jung Il?
Make it count Bro!!!!!

Do a flip faggot. If you jump that is.

i'm not OP but that post still made me feel even more depressed than usual

If I did take someone with me, It would probably be the first person who said "Bro" in front of me.

Please don't kill yourself user...

See? Thats the spirit Bro! Fucking take out the trash Bro!!

Here are some examples of what you need bro..

I'm OP and I agree. It was just so fucking saccharine and rote. And pointlessly optimistic. It makes me sad that people actually fall for their bullshit.

I know people who literally never see anyone. Hell, 2 live in my building. These old guys who never leave their place. Building maintenance makes a point to pop in once a month in case they die. They go out only to go to the store or do bank shit. They never talk to anyone in the building, they never talk to anyone on the phone. They sit in their chair, watch tv, go to sleep, wash rinse repeat.

So his statement about people who love them and miss them, might apply to me (less and less every day, but thats mostly by my choice. I hate having people around). But it was said in such a blanket statement for everyone that it's automatically as genuine as a hallmark card.

For some people, the absolute torrent of stupidity, nonsense and bullshit sometimes exceeds a persons willingness to deal with it. I simply reached mine, is all. It's going to be SUCH a FUCKING relief.

...lemmi think about it.
No.

OP

I support you bro..

...

Have you been to Tokyo? Everyone is the most polite person you'll ever meet but won't get in your business. The nightlife is like an acid trip on speed. World class cuisine on every street corner. It might give you that booster shot of life you need.