I'm going to see a prostitute in a few days, send me some tips. It will be my first time

I'm going to see a prostitute in a few days, send me some tips. It will be my first time.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=z6w8nVyFQC4
anyforums.com/
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Fuck her right in the pussy.

/thread

Don't have sex. Just chill and enjoy some minutes/hour with a woman, by the looks of it it doesn't happen often.

Kill her afterwards and get your money back

just go and have fun, fuck her and leave
don't ask numbers, don't ask for FB or ig just fuck and leave

>have sex with the prostitute
O R I G I N A L tips there bros, no one would have thought of them without your help.

GTA style. Run that ho over with a stolen car.

look kid... there are some sad people in the world... some of them go to prostitutes just for the need of feeling wanted and loved... some people just don't get the concept

I would always get out and either blow their head off or beat them with my melee weapon a lot so they coughed up extra money, if they didn't I'd beat them even longer

My fondest memories were playing vice city, getting a hooker, driving down to the beach and when she was done, getting out of the car with my Jason mask and overalls and cutting her to pieces with a chainsaw... it just never got old

Jesus, if you are so pathetic you have to pay a hooker to smile, talk, and hug, you should really just put a bullet in your own head. You are mentally damaged beyond repair

Id pick them up around the airport or the downtown area. Anyplace that gave me access to really dingy areas of the map where I could murder them.
I'd honestly mix it up between shooting their limbs and giving them a painful death and give it the quick gruesome deaths. I'd always drive a nice car so they'd think they were going to have a good time. Sometimes I'd load up an SUV with more than one then really have fun killing them off

If one ever got away I'd go back out to the streets and murder every character model that looked like her

This is the worlds most ancient profession, have some respect niggers. Tip, its well worth it to pay more. Cheap hookers are cheaper for a reason

Don't touch her or the condom

The stories and information ect ect

If I could give you a tip OP, your "first time" ask for the Girlfriend Experience (basically, she will pretend to be your girlfriend for an hour)

After that, start living out your deepest darkest fantasies. I visit 2 escorts a few times a year when I head out west for business. I wont go into detail but lets just say they get paid to do shit I would never do to my wife. Not because my wife wouldnt do it, but because I would never do that kind of stuff to a person I love.

Sex and love are not the same, and great sex and great love are often times mutually exclusive.

Look, I'll be serious. Just relax, enjoy and don't be afraid to talk to her. Tell her it's your first time AND USE FUCKING PROTECTION

And just because you dumbasses can't afford one doesn't mean y'all can put a man down like that. The secret to happiness is to never marry and go to the brothel once a month. I don't pay for cuddles. I pay for that bitches silence while i fuck her in the anus. Try telling your gf to shut the fuck up during anal sex and see if she'll let you finish

dont touch her filthy whore cunt, prostitutes are only good for blowjobs.

keep your possessions safe, they will rob you.

take about 500mg of DXM, 2 hours before action to get her maximum effort.

This very much so. If the girl isnt 200+ an hour stay far away from that shit. Also, never pick up lot lizards or bar flies. They have taken thousands of miles of dick and more times than not have STDs and serious drug problems.

On that last note, stay away from the drugies. You are more likely to get robbed than get your dick sucked

Never been in company with a prostitute...do I have to tip her?

leave your wallet home, just take cash for paying her

>Try telling your gf to shut the fuck up during anal sex and see if she'll let you finish

If she doesnt, she isnt worth dating.

No, she will fuck your wallet before she fucks you. Tips arent necessary

I didn't post this, but I could have.

Side note, professional submissives that also fuck are very well paid.

Don't kiss her

I've been with a bunch of prostitutes, I usually tip them if it was a pretty good experience and they interact with you in a human way. Every time I've fucked nigger hookers they are super rude and impersonal. The white ones sit on your face and don't make you wear a condom.

Cause normal women love being mistreated right? Tip #2 remember even though they may act like your gf, they aren't, and you are not dating. KEEP IT PROFESSIONAL!!!

eat the ass

Just get your dick sucked unless you're trying to lose your virginity. Hookers are really good at sucking cock and have loose pussies

Take a shower right before. Hookers hate stinky balls.

Obvious virgin retard. Even whore getting fucked constantly don't feel "loose" unless you have a micro penis. No amount of fucking really makes them that loose.

>Cause normal women love being mistreated right?

Any woman worth dating needs to understand her place and her role in the relationship. If you are going to live in my house, pay no bills, and think you have any say in what I do to you while I am drunk, you are fucking delusional.

>Cause normal women love being mistreated right?

That is correct

Yes it does lol fuck a virgin and then fuck a hooker and try telling me the virgin isn't tighter. Hookers fuck multiple dudes every day, they are loose.

put the cash in an envelope and hand her the envelope rather than a wad of cash,.

enjoy yourself, its about you having fun!

if you want to ease into it ask her if you can watch her play with herself to get you in the mood/break the ice.

shower and clean yourself thoroughly before you go, even if she wants you to clean yourself before hand at wherever youre going.

dont worry if she wants to check you for STD, its just how it works.

Kek!! You Will fuck her or date??

Are you dating or married? Wait, your a fucking nigger aren't you? Its OK just remember that you have to make sense when communicating

Good luck when your dick falls off
Seriously it’s 2018 and people aren’t using condoms to fuck hookers?

Don't order anything thats from off the menu.

This op
Mans knows his shit

Im currently married and we lived together before that... Not really sure what difference that makes however.

1. Don't take showers.
2. Piss yourself. That strong odor will attract the dankest of mates.

I remember back in my early 20s. I was so lonely that I left the house and got a girlfriend. I wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't. I think posting on Sup Forums about prostitutes would be a low point even for that alternative version of me.

You sick motherfucker. I love you.

Pound that pussy

You would be surprised about how many guys do it.

yeah used to travel a lot for work and didnt have time to fuck around chasing women, so just bit the bullet and started with prostitutes.

i was nervous the first time at a brothel and just left without choosing a girl, but went back a few months later and had some of the best sex of my life.

its great, you can just go out with your friends, eat a nice meal and have a drink, then go down to the brothel and take your pick.

happily married and not fucking prostitutes now, just when i was a young man with lots of spare money hah.

The virgin perharps. But there isn't much different between a civil and a hooker

Been with a hooker one so can give some advice at least
>It's probably ok to fap a day before going but not on the same day or you will probably get ED that lasts the whole time
>I fapped a day before and had ED for a bit when first getting undressed but they will give a blowjob to get you going so don't feel to bad if you are soft at first (I think even if I hadn't fapped the nerves would have made me soft)
>alternatively, get hard before going in somehow but I don't think it is worth the bother
>don't be shy about asking for services especially if her ad says she does them
>you will probably cum early. This is ok. Maybe just ask to play with her tits or ass whilst you can't fuck. Maybe you might even get hard again and fuck again but this is probably not gonna be the case unless you are going minimum for an hour

Also just curious- how much did she cost and for how long? Mine was 200 pounds for an hour.

that's too much I mean you can rub her body and tits just don't fucking lick your hands afterwards

>not licking her body and tits

>Mine was 200 pounds for an hour.

Jesus man you like em fat.

Dependant on where you are, try and go through an organisation/agency. They do background checks n shit.

Haha nice one man. I’ve been to a few but it was in Amsterdam so it literally was get really stoned and drunk and take your pic. Some unreal girls but the best night I had was with a trans haha but that’s another story.
Been thinking about going to local hookers here, they are of an ok quality and travel to different places all the time, you leave reviews on the website so they usually treat you good. Have a few friends who go and just for the buzz and to fuck another different pussy I just have to go.
Same here married but zero fucking sex for me

>Sex and love are not the same, and great sex and great love are often times mutually exclusive
profoundly deep insight here younglings
pay attention

Every 2 months, I have an escort over at my holiday house.

I pay her 450€ for the full day.
Things we do that I dont get from my wife:
General chatting without her trying to dominate the convo
She masturbates for me
She lets me watch her pee in the garden/bathtub/wherever
Gives me handjobs, massages, boob jobs.
Lets me fondle her body, caress her tits, and finger her without bringing up her mom or the bills.
I usually prep the meals, and she frikkin loves my cooking.
We take small doses of mdma throughout the day/evebing.
She usually spends the night no extra charge, if she has no-one else on her schedule.

In a nutshell, pleasant af.

Been meeting up with her since march 2017.
Never regretted a single minute.

tips:
Use an escort service who provide very recent bloodwork.
Treat them with respect.
Agree on boundaries beforehand.
Talk to her like she's a human.

what you need to do is complete 10 pimping missions and then prostitutes will PAY YOU to fuck them. it's only 100 dollars or so each time, but hey, got laid and got beer money.

450€ sounds very reasonable for what you get. What measures do you take so that your wife doesn't find out about the escort?

I regularly work 2 saturdays a month, and most times, spend the night at a mates place. We'll go out drinking and I purposefully leave my phone on silent, so shes used to me not answering calls immediately.

I also bought a 30$ chink GPS tracker I installed in her car that SMS's me if she comes within 75km of the other house.

I have a second phone which I pre-load with pics I took with my bud during previous pubcrawls, and I "accidentally" leave it unlocked on the table while I go have a shower. She goes through my phone, sees us two playing pool, acting goofy, etc.

It seems like a lot of effort, but it really just takes 5 minutes prepping each time I go meet up with the escort.

As for the price, she usually charges 650€ for a day, but as I said before, treat them with respect, and theyll be very happy to negotiate.

Keep pressing □

...

ALWAYS get your moneys worth. If you’re paying for an hour, make sure you get the WHOLE hour. It only takes me 2 minutes to cum so I usually have to get creative to get maximum enjoyment. Sometimes I’ll have the her play video games with me for 58 minutes on 2 player or just have her sit their and give me nice compliments about myself while I do chores around the house. Get creative, most of them will do it bc they need heroin. I only had one bitch who refused to play tony hawks pro skater 2 with me and flat out told her to fucking leave.

out of subject question here
with the gps tracker, does it use a sim card that you have to top up at a gas station or pay monthly?

I bought an over the counter, non subscription sim card for 15€.
Comes preloaded with 1000 minutes/2000SMS.

As long as it makes 1 phone call or sends 1 sms per month, it will stay active.

On the gps itself, I replaced the battery with a high capacity version, so it can stay online for around 50-60 hours after the car is turned off.

I have an android app that I use to send me location or status feedback.

If youre interested in the device, I could look up my banggood com order and give you the exact SKU

Bring a gun

youtube.com/watch?v=z6w8nVyFQC4

app name and SKU would be appreciated if you could

Bring a gun

youtube.com/watch?v=z6w8nVyFQC4

This

This is the app

Real time Mini Vehicle GSM GPRS GPS Tracker Motorcycle Car Vehicle Tracking Locator Device TK102

thanks this will be put to good use

Buy a cheap 12v to 5v converter

Hide gps tracker under the dash, behind the radio. (Ymmv)

good tip

...

>I would never do that kind of stuff to a person I love.

like fuck a prostitute behind her back?

Playing GTA5 ain’t “going to see a prostitute”

Honestly can't think of what he meant. It has to be a fetish thing. Like dominatrix or scat.

Don't be serious. It's ok to have fun.

You don't pay to have sex. You pay to be able to leave afterwards without being annoyed.

Remember my words.

If you kill them afterwards you can get all your money back

Welcome.

One last tip:

Tell her not to wear makeup or perfume

Kepp your wallet, phone and id with you when you go to shower.

Shave your nutsack beforehand if you want teabagging.

Consider taking a funnel and a length of non-bpa rubber tubing for watersports antics.

some solid preventative measures here
all readers take note

>put the cash in an envelope and hand her the envelope rather than a wad of cash,.

are you retarded? she's going to think your a cop you flamboyant fuck

>enjoy yourself, its about you having fun!

fucking kys yourself

Some of the tightest women I've fucked have been escorts.

Fucking rock solid advice, man

You know your shit.

Do you fuck the escort?
What does she let you get away with?
Why do you watch her pee?
Do you wash the bedsheets after every visit?

No. For two reasons. One... its its more the company I'm after. Two, I'm paranoid about STD's. Even if she is clean, theres still that mental block.
Plus she gives amazing hj's.

Its not a case of what she lets me get away with. We just do stuff we enjoy.

The pee thing is a kink I've had since I was young. Had one gf who was very much into it, but every other partner after her wasn't.

Double sleeping bag, disposable liner. Hung up in my workshop to air out.

Here is a regular that I stick it in.Has got to the point that she gets in touch with me when she needs a place,food.Does anything I want and does not care shower,food safe place to sleep.She is a pill head

you fuck in a sleeping bag?

It's huge, and feels more like a folded duvet than a sleeping bag.

But yeah, thats what we use.

Dafuq is a duvet?

20/40 whore I fuck

Nice nips

Seems laid back

It doesn't happen often because it's retarded.