ITT: We are dads

ITT: We are dads

What a stupid idea for a thread.

Yeah.....my wife has kids from a previous relationship. I have none.....I guess I'm a dad.

KIDS SUCK

you suck dick better than mom, son

ok

son, this thread is for dads. go play with your ipad until dinner is ready.

im a married man and you know this jannet

Dammit user, you left the front door open.

son its just a phase i swear

+1

want some ice cream, son?

...well go get some!

any of you boys know how to fix a lawnmower?

Who wants coffee?

Hey buds! Just gonna go ahead and have a coke... usually I buy the generic brand cause it's cheaper and just as good ya kno.... but nothing beats a good Coke!

what's the problem guy?

im cindy ,janet is my older sister

Maybe one day you'll understand like your old man.

Fuck you nigger

Well. If nothing else, your thread idea is original.

Also, tidy your room or no trndie dinner (my wife's) son.

HA! Oh
achem
I mean
that's racist, sir

regardless of this, i have been with my wife for 25 years and i intend to keep it that way, so if you do not mind im going to go and grill some burgers for the party

At the age of 28 I am already getting nicknamed Daddy quite often by a lot of people.
I`ve just had enough of bullshit and I like to do things right.
Go clean your room and then read Jordan petersons 12 rules for life. I`m proud of you user, You and Femanon are doing so well.
If you feel like you are struggeling right now you`ll find your footing soon.

That's actual cuckoldry. Congratulations.

Hey boy, think you could visit sometime and get that damn stump outta my yard?
I'll make it worth your while, got this pumpkin pie in the fridge we need gettin rid of.

I'm giving you two days to get a job and move out of my basement.

ive been hearing my 15 year old son saying that, what does it mean i just dont get it

I derive great pleasure from mowing the lawn.

can i have one with special sauce ?

Bill is acting all "i'm the best guy around again"
Remember when you had to give me your nice watch cause you thought you won that hand of poker, guy?
fuck you bill

Either that or you're going to the basement basement

Seeing a freshly mowed lawn gets my gears pumping! I can never take a break.

only special sauce in this house is from mcdonalds huehuehue im not a millionaire ya know huehuheuhuehue

Listen Mindy, you can have some A1 sauce when you think about what you've done. Go to your room.

>already getting nicknamed Daddy quite often by a lot of people
Sounds pretty gay

its all in the technique i tell ya

*turns car radio up

HEY HEY
MY MY
ROCK AND ROLL CAN NEVER DIE

i won that game fair and square craig, now i wont hesitate to kick your ass like i did senior year again

...not according to Webster's. Please explain.

Regardless she's been faithful our entire relationship, and I would murder them all if I found out she cheated.

I myself am a counterclockwise man. go to the center. it all looks so nice afterwards! saves time too!

Who wants to have a beer at my place and talk about car engines?

hey guys just found out about a cool program called gimp
it was on my sons computer
also porn
lots and lots of porn
porn of dudes
it was right here
you guys are fags
please don't rape my son

Oh please Bill, this guy drinks two miller lites and thinks he's all tough. hehehehehe this is why you had to move!

>wears this

>implying you wouldn't swooce if you had the dinero
bromie

Neil Young is breddy gud tbh

can't rape the willing

ya see jim, ya gotta get rid of those electric mowers, i do it all by hand, saves money on fuel plus puts some hair on your chest, not like you know what that is! heuehuehue

now youre just cruisin for a bruisin craig

how to leave a page

how to exit a page

When was the last time you got your oil changed? You need to keep up with that

google

google how to leave an internet page

everything up to 1972 is good and then neil fuckin lost it bad and never recovered
he is so deep in the hole now that most people pretend he died and is being represented as a parody by somebody's grandmother

google what is Sup Forums

>laughs hysterically at adam sandler getting hit in the balls
>sings along shamelessly at the theater if he likes soundtrack

exit page

...

I don't care if you don't like it thats whats for dinner eat it you little shit

...

Dad and I went to the recent Thor movie. He quietly sang along to the Immigrant Song.

But you gotta buy his Pono Player!
It gives you all the qualities of analog music!
Muh bitrate! Them sweet low and high end MP3 loses! Muh Alzheimer's! Eddie Vedder was bribed to praise it!

Hello, how do I sign up to this place???

for this page I am posting from my car right now and don't want to be one of those people who text on the road but there's a lot of traffic right now so I would like to talk to everyone here about the state of the union address that took place and what we all think about wow that's real fucking mature cut me off like that in your fucking modded out you go what are you a chink or a nigger oh of course a chink gotta be so fast in fucking traffic on a Thursday what happened did you have a long day at the computer programming sweatshop or are you just out to sling some ecstacy you slant eyed fucking gook fuck you fuck everything about you god damn it how am I supposed to get home at this rate if every second rate faggot is going to swing on me I am in a Mercedes Benz you piece of shit have some respect for fuck's sake what is this country coming to and of course the phone is still fuck this

Will I live until retirement O fuck it who cares hey honey bring me another beer.

Hey champ where are we going to watch the big game? I'm going to Bill's, should come by and have a few drinks and burgers. If the Pats win he owes me a 12 pack!

Pono is out. Neil dropped it after a few years of no sales and is on a new platform called Infinity which is an online "high resolution" streaming service which, as you would have guessed, is not supported by Pono because it doesn't have an internet connection or it needs Wi-Fi or something

...

gosh darn it, who didn't put the tools properly back in the tool box after using them? This is why we can't have nice things.

whoa calm down dad

These threads pop up from time to time, it's not original

we are dads we already know nothing is original, it's learning to get past that and do it anyway that made us successes and got us laid

try not being a bitch sometime

>be me
>6th grade
>sledding one day and go off wicked high ramp
>fall and break my arm
>my dad doubts that i broke it regardless of my tears and pain
>i asked if we could get a cast
>he made me a cast out of socks
>told me to wear that and eat a steak to get rid of my broken arm
>it wasnt until he left for work my mom finally took me to the doctors
>ffw to the doctors
>"so user, it seems you have a fracture in your forearm, pretty serious stuff"
>my mother says "well what can we do, we havent been treating it very well for a week or so"
>"well, looking at your insurance plan not much can be covered, what have you guys been doing so far?"
>"......... W-we've been using a sock cast"
>"............."
>"............ any steak?"
>"w-what?"
>"has he been eating any steak?"
>"y-yes.... I-i don't see why-"
>"oh he should be fine, just keep it up"
>eventually found out the doctor was in on the joke with my dad, they both were regulars at some bar
>mfw

>did you know your mom and I had sex in this car?
Seriously what my Dad said when we dumped our 1984 (I think) Ford Country Squire at the wrecking yard

I wouldn't mind putting my fingers through that mustache.

Were you not conviently dianosed with "flat feet" in nam, bill. I served my country you draft dodging canadian!

*whispering through clenched teeth* shut your damn mouth and stop emnarrassing me in front of my coworkers

Station Wagons of the time were so damn good looking for some reason.

judging by those skinny wrists, not you, bud

Beggars can't be choosers

Well played sir. Dont checkem like they used to round here

So I'm trying to build this damn desk but I just can't seem to get it level, any tips chaps?

yep and wearing a plain black North Face jacket

Do you have any idea how long it took me to season that pan?!

well, I guess I'm a dad? but I'm 25, single, no kids. is this bad?

you sound like a manchild, which is fine because while dads are ashamed of you they privately need you to buy them beer and take their hand-me-downs

Taco Bell?! We can make tacos at home.

GET AWAY FROM THAT THERMOSTAT!

>gotta get more beer for the barbecue

This look skinny to you faggot?

Kek this

QUADDY

kek yeah, bud

IKEA? We can build or own dining room table! Gotta buy some metal brackets from the hardware store.

nice girl blanket there big dog

STOP PULLING YOUR SISTER'S HAIR!!

well checked my dad

kek

It's a quilt and my great grandma made it for me you trog.
Could kick your ass. Fact.

Well then let me tell you something about parallel parking son!