If you were going to kill yourself, how would you do it?

If you were going to kill yourself, how would you do it?

No fake bullshit like "I'd take out fiddy men by 'x'" etc.

jump off a tall building
quick
painless
exciting
get to traumatize some pedestrians

/thread

I mean even i thought of that. I jist want to hear creative but realistic methods

I don't want a huge mess for someone to clean up, so probably an OD on pills

well, i guess you could always try to cut off your head with a dull knife and see how far you can get

Fuck that. Creative, realistic, but minimal pain.

Pills almost never work

same thing, but take a lot of drugs first?

wait a really long time

I'd go fast and painless, bullet to the head is what i think fulfils these two things

Shotgun under your chin.

killing yourself resets you in a shittier life. it is a punishment for not completeing your life expectancy of expierience to upload to the hivemind that is "god" upon death. also, the destruction of the pineal gland, prevents the release of dmt, a crutial death chemical and worlds most potent hallucinogen. many expieriments were done by the CIA and chinese, related to death, hive minds and flesh interfaces. yet little progress was made to understand thier true fnction, since in order to understand, you must me uder the influence of the substances, which make it difficult to extract a language from the experience. sleep well and suffer until your true end or risk being reset by the hive.

lol wat

Hive it is

I'd start by exercising and lifting to get /fit/ and masculine and shit, turn myself into a Spartan warrior. Then, I'd fall on a sword like Saul did in the Bible, while acting dramatic, would be a manly (also autistic) way to an hero imo.

OD, go out with some type of enjoyment

Old age

>Go to city center
>Smash window
>Slice throat open with glass
>Get to die hearing the panic of those around me

I think you might be taking too much DMT yourself

I've thought about this a lot over the past three years.

I'm still here mostly because I'm too much of a pussy to go through with it but if I ever do go through with it, pic related is how I'm going.

Only addition to that is I'm going to steal some oxy so in i have a little fun right before going to sleep.

Shotgun to the dick

I was basically like that. Ah whatever too long to explain

Living the dream

I wouldn't call it "Living" the dream

>There's a chance your lung might literally explode and you spend 5 minutes agonizing until you finally die from internal hemorrhagia

Tell a nigger if he killed me he can have my leftover kfc

Don't just say that and then leave us hanging user, share your story

I would go on a nigger killing rampage and wont stop till I get shot dead

You won't judge?

>No fake bullshit like "I'd take out fiddy men by 'x'" etc.

Relax, there are far worse people here than you or I

>pic related

I'd eat a car. Turn car on, bam.

Ain't happenin buddy kek

I'd buy a large bag of assorted candy, a clown costume (wig, makeup, giant shoes and suspenders, nose and all) a megaphone, portable cd player with a cd of circus music and some deepweb c4 with a detonator.

>Step one it to get the clown costume on and looking right.

>Eat candy wrappers and all.

>Strap c4 to waist, hidden by giant suspender pants from anybody looking from below me.

>Go to a local park with a builidng nearby and get to the roof.

>Play circus music, into megaphone if needed for volume and be cheerful and fun to lure kids over. Dancing around, doing dumbass clown stuff and all.

>When the crowd of kids is big enough I jump and detonate about 50 feet above the kids, showering them with candy and bits of clown.

Guaranteed front page, possibly national news and immortality as the legendary exploding clown guy in local legend.

On a serious note, if u give me ur junk email I'll send u a link to a forum

w-what kind of forum?

I like it

Craaaazy shit daug.

Na but seriously it's just some casual forum of ppl talking about suicidal stuff

that sounds like it could permanently traumatize a lot of kids user.

The only right answer is the awesome. Get a block of ice, some strong super thin wire and a bottle of superglue. Stand on the iceblock, tie up a noose made from the wire and put it around your neck, superglue hands to the side of your head and wait for it to dry then jump.

The block melts, the wire should be thin enough not to be immediately obvious and it will look like you ripped your own head off to responders.

"Oh shit this guy's a total badass!"
"Yeah man. Must've had some demons..."

Ya but its funny in a dank sort of way

Nah, because candy. That's what the candy is for.

no bullshit

niggers are ruining this fucking country and i would go out with blaze and glory with a nigger genecide

swallow magnetic beads and go take an MRI

Hahaha except you won't. Literally nobody has ever done that (well niggers do it to whitey but somehow the whites are the dangerous racists and blacks can't be racist) that I know of.

have sex with the daughter of a mexican cartel

Stay up all night doing stupid shit. Then in the wee hours of the morning, pull my car into the garage, start it up and take a nap.

When I was a depressed fag back then, I thought about jumping off a bridge live streaming.

That probably wouldn't kill you. It's do serious damage but you'd be in a hospital or at least at a clinic with professionals who'd stabilize you and fast-track you to the trauma ward.

Just strap an oxygen tank to your back and break into the MRI room while the machine is running, guaranteed dead.

Pay some hookers to smother me with tits until I eventually suffocate and die and then I get sent up to heaven and they realize it's not my time yet, so they send me back to being suffocated by tits. Repeat for eternity.

Never have I needed something so much and not known about it

What, is this forum a deepweb invite only thing?

Oh fuck that's funny. I'd love to witness it and just fucking laugh

I'd just date a muslim girl. Guaranteed decapitated by her family and as a bonus they'd kill her too so one less mudslime in the world while not only not marring my image being labelled a murderer and garnering "good riddance" whispers, I'd be the victim of muslim violence and add fuel to an important movement.

It's brilliant.

What's stopping you from achieving your goal?

Na nothing like that. It can be found by googling "suicide project"

tie something heavy as shit to my feet and jump in a river

Then I'll do that, no need to give out my email to randoms on the internet, not even a junk email

What if no kill because too low

Aaaand, it looks gay

>simple
>pick a deep af river
>problemo solved

Ya ik but i dont want to give out my username

He said minimal pain idiot

The ultimate revenge. I would study catapults, learn everything about their design, then design and build one.

Position it up the hill from my ex girlfriend's house, pointed at the dining room window and wait until they all sit down for dinner, sitting in the basket and cutting myself all over with a boxcutter while I wait.

As soon as they settle in, I release the catapult and rocket through the window. Tiny cuts rupturing and my body shredding into thousands of pieces a over them, flying well into the living room and smashing shit along the way.

Take that, bitch.

Well in junk email form i would.

i have a better one.

buy some fertilizer and diesel.

run a farm

You sick bastard.

I'd suck off fiddy men while high on x then kill myself with the nembutal I have stashed while on the come down.

I'd take out fiddy men by 'x

So for this one you need to be black. Find a cop and hit him in the face then when he reaches for his gun you reach behind your back, say something along the lines of "imma shoot yo cracka ass" and whip your hand out like you have a gun.

Whites can also do this but the success rate would vary with the simple method and a phone call and staging may be required.

I'd sell lethally strong x pills to fiddy men and tell them they're of a much lower dosage then take one myself.

I'd dress in drag and go to a battered women's shelter coated in cornmeal. They'd admit me and escort me to the giant fryer they have in the back for the battered women and drop me in, problem solved. Fuck this gay earth.

Earth is a gay faggot

I can see this going horribly wrong and fucking up the lovely elderly couple 2 doors down

Clown one is pretty funny.