ITT: Stupid shit you did as a kid

ITT: Stupid shit you did as a kid

was born

Making my mom not go to abortion like 1 hours before i would get vaccumed.

Same here

>be 17
friend asks me to dowload himsome gay shit like 5fdp and slipknot
I don't really want to, but I see the prank potential
I have no imagination, nor do I really hate him, so I had to contact somebody that fit the description
I contact the bff of his ex, we chat and I give no indication of my plans

it's friday, my bud gives me his usb stick to put the music on
I dowloaded the music and casually asked the girl if she had any ideas how to mess with him

I was surprised how much loathing and imgination she had for making his life even remotely worse

her plan was following:
pick his favorite songs
incorporate a variety of sounds, from porn, to church choir songs, to chinese folk, communist etc etc into his songs
fix the tags, set the album cover again so there is no suspicion what waits behind those songs

the song would play like normal for 20 s and then the havoc would be released onto him


spent an entire weekend editing, converting, fixing tags and resetting album covers, didn't even see the sun for 48 hours straight

I give the usb stick to buddy on monday
on tuesday I already had juicy stuff to laugh me pants off

I wished my parents loved me

fpbp

too bored to tell the rest in detail

tl dr
the song with porn sounds started playing in bus
everybody heard it since hes a douch with giant stereo headphones turned all the way
cunt kicked me in stomach when he saw me in school
I swear it's not my fault, must be a virus
next day hes pissed because all of his favorite songs were riddled with choir shit, chinese songs and communist anthems

still, it was worth every second and every punch to see him mad


the girl was also pleased with the results
but then, she got boring as before
couldn't stand her shit any longer

I spew some nonsense like: "I'll rape you if you don't stop with that stupid shit"

Want to live

>friend
>still, it was worth every second and every punch to see him mad
what a cool friend you are

I lived with my grandma after my parents were killed and I'd sleep in her bed with her naked from age 5 to 12.

>be 7
>try to cut an aple
>holding apple in hand and a steak knife in the other
>stab knife through apple because im smart
>stick knife through hand between my middle and ring finger and start gushing blood
>cry for the rest of the day
>still have the scar

>Be me
>Be 5
>Manage to cut myself with a plastic knife
>mfw

she gets upset
like really upset

we stop contact but she doesn't block me

I say this to her friend, she slaps me
appearently the girl was raped for real by her ex boyfriend

in my autistic rush I apologise to the grill, telling her all the nonsense like I didn't know, I swear it won't happen again etc etc etc

the girl gets calm
I ask: "is there something I can ask you though"
she says sure, and my weaponized autism kicks in, proppeling me to a new level of douchenes
I ask her : "soooo... did it feel good when he did it or?"

the flood of anger induced messages folowed, one after the other less and less coprehensive, the last three messages were geunienly just random letters without any proper shape or meaning

she blocked me
her friend kicked me in the nuts because of it
friend payed me a meal in KFC after he found out she was behind the whole music prank


be 21 now, still shit at making friends
the impact in the groin prolly left me half sterile since cum never came out in as large portions as the time before

can't really call him friend
more like the guy I shared porn enthusiasm and that would pay for my food from time to time

still have him as pornhub friend tho, even after highschool ended and we parted ways

my mom told me not to put my hand on the stove. i did it anyway. she took me to the Dr. and i told him i was bad and my mom put my hand on the stove as punishment.

Stick my finger up the dog's asshole and pussy and then wipe it all on my shirt. My parents thought cats where shitting in the sandbox and I rolled around in it.

Called the cops on my grandpa on accident

was she naked or you?
do anything sexual with her?

She slept naked all the time and I would too in the summertime. Her pubes were really soft and I thought they were like my teddy bear at first. Sometimes she'd cradle me in her arms if I was upset and once I sucked on her nipple until I fell asleep. I had a few wet dreams towards the end, one of which was while I was cuddled up against her. I'd also have baths with her all the time too.

>be me, 4th grade
>having burgers for dinner
>go to light grill
>turn on gas, ignition is fucked
>go inside to get matches
>eventually find them
>go back outside to light grill
>forgot gas has been on the whole time
>hiroshima.dmg
>eyebrows = gone
>eyelashes = gone
>nose hairs = gone
>hairline = receding due to massive fireball
>face is scored earth
>madmax.rar
>grill is now lit though
>eat hamburger

worst part was for the next 3 days all i could smell was burnt hair because the burnt hair was actually inside my nostrils

>Be me, 11 y/o
>Decided to make popcorn
>Manages to burn a hole in the bag
>Popcorn was completely fine
Wtf happened?

12 y/o sucking boy penis under the bleachers when I could have been sucking man cock up the road at the rest stop.

did you make any money?

>be 10
>Decide to Make Microwave popcron
>it's shitty organic popcorn with no salt or butter
>decide to microwave salted butter in coffee mug
>Turn on microwave and hear a popping sound
>confused because I already made popcorn
>look in micro wave and see the metal plating on the mug is creating sparks
Panic mode.jpg
>turn off microwave put on all protective kitchen wear and drown mu in cold water
>finish eating unsalted and unbuttered popcorn
>mfw

my sister someone dropped a plastic plate and broke it, we bought them for the sole purpose of not breaking and she found a way

bump

l2greentext faggot

My parents were huge alcoholics and basically were only ever home at night to party and pass out and gone to work in the morning then gone again all weekend long so my older brother and I virtually had the house to ourselves.
It was pretty bad when you think of it now because they neglected us but they still bought food and I used to steal money from them all the time when they were passed out drunk.

>Was playing with some old planks of wood when I was 10ish
>Pretending to be a builder
>Stood a tall plank upright on the back of friend's dad's truck
>Had a nail sticking out of it
>Forgot about it, kept building, plank keeled over and the nail hit right on top of my head
>ouch, that was lucky tho
>Put hood up
>Scratch hair later
>Blood all over hand
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.wav

Did she ever molest you?

She sometimes would pull my foreskin back in the bath.