Why the fuck can't I stop farting all day long?

Why the fuck can't I stop farting all day long?
I barely eat anything, I should be farting less... What's wrong with me?

pls help

male or female and your age?

Sometimes eating less can cause you to be gassy

There are no girls on the internet.

And 27

You need degassing. Simple procedure. Eat plenty of popcorn, drink a bottle of red wine and have something spicy for dinner. Just before bed have a glass of milk. 90% of the time it works all the time.

I think alcohol and spicy things make me fart more though.

Don't worry bro. The spicy food and popcorn and wine will make you shit so much you wont be farting.

>shitting after eating spicy

It's possible that you're swallowing air more than the average person during gustation

Either that or IBS

>IBS

I don't think so?

I do smoke after meals though, maybe that's the reason?

Smoking after a meal is the best way to get mouth and throat cancer

All of your taste buds and saliva glands have opened up, and the smoke gets trapped in there for hours or days afterwards.

It could be contributing to your gas too, but honestly that should be taking a back seat right now.

Stop smoking after meals

Eat more. Not eating makes you gassy

Smoking is for shit tier fucks.
It feels shitty
Smells shitty
Looks shitty
And kills you
Idiot

You have candida, faggot. Lay off the carbs and alcohol. And steer clear of dairy.

>Lay off the carbs and alcohol. And steer clear of dairy.
Why live? You a vegan faggot?

Vegan food makes you gassier..

HELL NO. Paleo all day every day. Why live if you feel like shit all the time from your shit tier diet? Go get plensure from real things like actual women, good drugs, socializing, life adventures. Too much Food pleasure is for weaklings. Besides, paleo is tasty as fuck.

Remember, YOURE the one asking why your ass is out of control, not me.

BTW, since I've gone paleo, I almost never fart. Farting is a sign that your body is not digesting your food well, and likely indicates that your gut flora is our of balance. When you eat well, your body doesn't complain with farts.

are you trying to make him shit the bed in his sleep?

>BTW, since I've gone paleo, I almost never fart. Farting is a sign that your body is not digesting your food well, and likely indicates that your gut flora is our of balance. When you eat well, your body doesn't complain with farts.
too much broscience

Classic case of the farts

OP might be able to fill a balloon with his farts, but I could fill a swimming pool with mine.

Nothing bro about it, faggot. Just science.

I had the same problem.
It turn out i had mild lactose intolerance. when it got worse it was not only gas but eventually bloating, pain and diarrhea.

>mild lactose intolerance

See, OP.

ITS THE DAIRY

I used to drink a liter of milk and had no gas problems.

things change, user

But lately I only use milk for coffee purposes.
And my ass is still out of control.

put a butt plug in, that will stop it

But then I'll have a burping problem.

Did you eat too many protein bars? That always does it to me

are you not aryan?

What does that have to do with anything? And are you implying I'm a nig-nog?