Funny high school stories thread

Funny high school stories thread
I'll go first

>be me
>be in economics class
>have three other friends in class
>one friend has little to no filter
>still invested in class like all of us
>rest of class is pretty retarded and never stops talking
>teacher doesn't really do anything because he is too nice and the whole class abuses his niceness
>the one friend from before has a question
>raises his hand
>waits a minute
>teacher calls on him
>"oh sorry I forgot"
>one thot just yells "OH MY GOD" in annoyance
>friend yells "GODDAMMIT WOMAN! I'M JUST TRYING TO ASK A GODDAMN QUESTION AND YOU'RE RIDING ME LIKE A FREAKING RACE HORSE!"

I know it's not really that much but it's one of the best I got.

>pic unrelated

I got a few good stories
>Be me jr year
>Group of friends is known for fucked humor
>Be us playing cards against humanity during lunch
Note. the anime club at my school is full of the weirdest perma-virgins that make even the most hard core incels look like pure chads anyway
> Asst principal comes up tells us we can play cards against humanity bc it's offensive
> Me being a sped yells yet u let the anime club watch soft core porn
>Mfw anime club is shut down

Good one op.

>senior year, in locker rooms after weight training
>sophomore talked shit about us out loud
>like we think we are so tough or something
>locker room empties some more as people get dressed and leave for the gymnasium
>3 seniors surround the sophomore
>shove and beat him up some
>then they straddle him face up against a bench
>the leader then proceeds to drag his balls on his face telling him to open his mouth
>he does
>motherfucker gets tea bagged IRL
>my eyes can't believe
>laugh tho

check'd

something like that also happened at my school
basically some furries or something were watching hentai in the anime club and it got shut down for the rest of the year.

This happened last semester to me. I go to a ghetto school with lots of nigs so police are always around.

Was semi hotboxing a car with girlfriend and her friend when a cop car drove past us. Everyone gets uneasy then the car pulled into a drive way and revered slowly past us and parks in front of our car.

We just sit there shitting ourselves while the cop car literally just sits there. Turns out they were watching the niggers fight at the park. We had a good laugh when we left.

>be me taking a piss senior year
>Tard waddles into stall next to urinal I'm at
> Start hearing a mix of moans and ferocious masturbating
>Allmywat.jpg
>Walk over to sink to wash hands
>Turd fly's past my head at Mach 12 and hits mirror with the force of a nuke
>Say fuck it and just walk out
>See Wrangler in the hall playing on phone
>tell her she should be fired

This reminds me

>be in friends car in two lane gridlock traffic
>we just left campus
>on the way to her place to smoke
>figure we might as well just smoke here in the car
>blunt and weed in glovebox
>as I reach for it to start rolling
>a motorcycle cop passes us on the shoulder slowly and looking into everyone's cars.
>fucking almost got got.
>how was that Harley so quiet.

>be me
>derping around a ylyl thread looking for something to poast on funnyjunk
>find a super hilarious story that no one else liked (I'm turning it into a rage comic)
>it ends with the funniest, most nonsensical senetence ever created
>We ded niggy xd Whomstve made this

>Be me in 11th grade
>Go to bathroom with my best mate
>See another friend at a urinal
>Drop my pants(not my underwear)
>Climb up him till my dick is eye level
>Proceed to dry hump him while he is pissing
>He's trying to stop me but he can't cut off his stream
>Super Christian Math Teacher walks in
>Yells, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING????"
>I don't say a word and just take off sprinting

I didn't get in trouble but it was awkward when I had class with him.

Get out

>be me senior year
>walking to bathroom
>see a class of freshman playing kahoot
>whip my phone
>put in the code
>put name as failed abortion
>class sees it
>class laughs
>teacher sees me in hall
>sees my phone
>takes phone


mfw the principle laughed at what i did and i got in no trouble

what did the thot say?

>Be me
>Get dared to toke up
>We only have our native langue as the last class of the day and our teach is a new teacher at the start of his career,looks you and is a weirdo so one respects him
>i am like idgaf and not only smoke up but get high of my ass but i am used to snoking so i keep my cool
>we all get back to class
>class starts out calm
>teach makes bad joke we all laugh because we are high
>some guys make some good jokes among us the studends
>we keep laughing
>teacher: Geez guys you sure are giggely.
>we laugh even harder
>teacher:Stop laughing
>he looks not amused
>we laugh anyways
>he gets mad and actually starts screaming
>his face actually turns red throbbing vein on the forehead and all
>we start laughing again
>he gets pissed and leaves the classroom to get our mentor since he can't handle us
>we laugh even harder
>end of the day so mentor has already left
>next day our mentor tells us to be nicer to him.

>be me
>Freshman
>Friends and I are known for keeping a pretty tight circle
>One friend, we'll call him Jeff, is a little bit closer than the others
>Him and I out of the blue think it'd be funny to post about one of our friends dying in a car crash
>the story is he died in a car crash when his dad was running from the cops after robbing a Walmart
>Edit news headline and everything
>think it wasn't a big deal and it'd piss off a few students if anything
>his relatives call and ask the school for calling hours
>Our principal calls us in
>Jeff gets talked to first, we usually keep our mouths shut and say we don't know what he's talking about so no reason to worry
>I get called in after Jeff
>"What happened with your friend, user"
>followprotocol.jpg
>Make up an elaborate story about his dad taking his death and we are the real victims
>He stops me halfway through
>"You know Jeff told me everything?"
>shit.png
>"No I did not"
>"You can't lie your way out of everything"
>I sure can try
>Sudden edgy feeling
>"At least I tried"
>This tomato looking Italian fuck flips shit
>"IT'S NOT FUNNY TO JOKE ABOUT A PERSON DYING!"
>He calls my madre
>Madre tells him not to bother her unless serious
>Thinks I'll get punished
>Let's me leave

Apparently we pissed a lot of people off and we're known as the piss patrol from then on

> Me being school
must make the happy goo
>go to toilet room
> speshul grown up friend wait here
>tall man doing wee, I not caring I must goo
go toilet and start the rub
>poop comes
?keeps going
> mouth nosies start
> the poop comes and gets on hands
> here sink, poop must go
fly poop out
>finished the goo

all all in 10/8 day time

here saw some typos and i missed some details so here is the corrected version.
>>Be me
>>Get dared to toke up
>>We only have our native langue as the last class of the day and our teach is a new teacher at the start of his career,looks young and is a weirdo so one respects him
>>i am like idgaf and not only smoke up but get high of my ass but i am used to smoking so i keep my cool
>>others smoke up as well
>>we all get back to class
>>class starts out calm
>>teach makes bad joke we all laugh because we are high
>>some guys make some good jokes among us the studends
>>we keep laughing especially me since i am the highest
>>teacher: Geez guys you sure are giggely.
>>we laugh even harder
>>teacher:Stop laughing
>>he looks not amused
>>we laugh anyways
>>he gets mad and actually starts screaming
>>his face actually turns red throbbing vein on the forehead and all
>>we start laughing again
>> he looks like he is about to cry
>>he gets pissed and leaves the classroom to get our mentor since he can't handle us
>>we laugh even harder
>>end of the day so mentor has already left
>>next day our mentor tells us to be nicer to him.

>be me
>be in a class of fucking animals
>35+ people in the class
>35+ animals
>i swear to gordon ramsay we were very close to shitting in our hands and throwing it at each other
>examples of animal behaviour in highschool include :
>using the ice machine in the chemistry lab to make big balls of compact ice and starting deadly ice wars in middle of chemistry class
>throwing any leftover food in the refectory Air conditioning
>6 months passed until they discovered the origin of the smell
>putting medical grade laxatives in water pitchers on other tables
>gym weights fights, resulting in holes in the walls
>lots of holes
>filling rubber gloves with water and throwing them at random people in class
>they were all animals too anyway
>the list goes on
>we somehow never got caught doing the worst stuff so even though it could only be us we never got into too much trouble.

Here's the story I'll never forget though.

>be this guy in our class
>super small, redhead, glasses
>built like half a chopstick
>annoying voice
>basically the weird kid
>we liked him though
>very shy at first but as time passed he became another animal in the zoo
>now picture the men's toilets
>no door, 2 entries from the recess area meaning it's the same temperature as outside
>freezing balls in winter
>urinals are arranged in a long line
>leaking from everywhere
>huge pool of water in front of the urinals
>at least 2.5cm deep
>pool of water at the beginning of the day
>pool of piss at the end
>be winter, end of the day
>be me and friends taking a leak before the last class of the day
>Foureyes McPrawnbody comes in
>decides to have some fun
>our thing at the time was throwing whole canisters of ground black pepper we stole from the refectory at each other, preferably in the face
>throw one at him
>bullseye
>fucking teargased him
>he goes nuts
>comes running towards me
>slips in freezing pool of piss
>falls on his back
>piss bath.png
>pic related is MFW

nobody asked faggot

OP here, she said nothing afterwards, everyone in the class including her i think laughed, the teacher just laughed as well and stopped teacher because there was no way he was going to get our attention after that and there were only 5 minutes left in class

here saw some typos and i missed some details so here is the corrected version.

Nobody even asked, Faggot.

>be me, 17
>friends and i hang out at the end of a hallway near an alternate exit
>outside there's a picnic table with 3 fat hideous girls and one ugly but thinner girl who is by default more attractive than the rest
>nobody wants them so they make up online boyfriends that break up with them every weak
>crying for attention.jpeg
>every once in a while i go to 711 to buy a candy bar just to place on their table and run away (off campus lunch)
>they ate it every time
fast forward a little
>art class
>a buddy of mine had a fat scab on his knee
>scab+candy bar
>he opens the packaging very carefully
>cuts open candy bar at the seems
>places scab inside the snickers and hot glues the packaging shut
>alittledab'lldoya.png
>lunch
>typical chub club crying time
>place snack and run away

>horf grabs it and takes a bite while flipping us off through the window
>she fucking eats THE WHOLE THING

big kek

>be me
>junior year
>walk into bathroom to smoke with friends
>teacher walks in
>hide the vape before teacher sees
>tall ass ghetto asian kid walks over to this teacher
>drops pants
>has second layer of pants
>maintains solid eye contact as he pulls his underwear down
>wiggles his little asian cock right in front of the teacher and maintains eye contact
>teacher calls him a "massive faggot" (he was a substitute)
>all the kids laugh
>everyone walks out satisfied

In high school i shared classes with this one kid i can still remember to this day lets call him O.
>O is taller skinny kid and looks like a mix between a skater and a hobo always dresses in the same clothes skater pants Red Hot Chili Peppers shirt and the same hoody
>O rolls around the hallways laying on his skateboard
>O keeps cheap beer and playboys in his locker he lied to run up to random people with the playboys and start asking people questions about them to try and make them feel awkward . Boy did he got in a trouble for this when they did a random locker inspection.
>O likes to make weird and over exaggerated noises when talking
>O makes flamethrower with lighter and can of deodorant mid English class
>O buys cream filled foods to throw at people
>O likes to skip classes but nearing the end of the year it gets worse before he just would walk out but after he would just throw his bag out of the window and would jump out after it.
>We become used to this.
>It happens again he gets irritated and throws his bag out of the window.
>Only this day we have class on the second floor and he threw his bag out of the window before realizing this
>some people in class start to snicker at him
>See wheels in his head turning
>He leans out of the window and grabs the rain pipe and slides down along the rain pipe leaving the people who laughed at him in confusion.
>next year i transferred but i hear he had left for another school as well

PART 2:

>still 17, about a month later
>chub club has allies, the autistic white knights
>one we called 'chocolate rain' because he looked like his namesake. his name was really user BUCANON aka user BOOBCANON lel.net/support
>his comrades name was user roberts, his lisp made it sound like user Wobewts
>they came to console the chub club over tehir made up drama
>me and 2 of my friends user and user decided to go to Anons house for lunch (again, off campus lunch)
>user stays home while user and myself walk back to school
>user pulls out a whistle and starts screamng through it
>we pass the chub club and the white knights all the while user is howling through his whistle
>wobewts walks up
>"STHOP BLOWING THAT WHITHLE"
>lol
>i take the whistle from user, pretending that i intend on deescalating the situation
>"user stop, you're making them mad"
.......
>i blow the whistle louder than ever
>wobewts REEEEEEEEEEEE.tard
>wobewts gets in my face
>thesmell.fuck
>holding the whistle with a very light grip, i saw "what are you gonna do."
>he straight WINDS UP LIKE A SOFTBALL PLAYER AND WHACKS MY HAND HARDER THAN HE WACKS HIS DICK ON A LONELY SATURDAY MORNING
>HIS HAND COLLIDES WITH MINE
....
>the whistle is still in my hand
>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.laugh
>user rolling on the ground laughing
>wobewts face turns red and he backs away

part 3 coming

I always rip off the scab and eat it

This was during maybe Sophmore year or so of High School

>be me
>be at summer camp
>two tard twins at the camp
>constantly being watched by their cat herder father
>twins get into fight
>probably over some stupid shit like which episode of whatever Disney show they were watching was better
>fight gets heated
>everyone's watching
>"WELL AT LEAST I DON'T RUB MY PENIS UNTIL WHITE STUFF COMES OUT!"
>dad comes rushing over
>too late, damage is done
>everybody laughs their asses off about it for the next week

Here and i have to admit i project my ultimate faggotness onto other people for this i am sorry.

NOBODY ASKED FOR AN APOLOGY
I have reached major asshole status

>Be me
>Senior in high school
>Never tried any drugs other than weed
>Guy called Johnny offers his a hand full of pills to me and our friend Colton
>Choose little red pill
Oh that's called stop sign
>Take pill
>Go through school
>thispillisshit
>Make it to eight period. Pale as fuck
>Sleep during whole class
>Get up last five minutes of class
>Faint in front of everyone
>Hit head on art drying rack
>Blood everywhere small cut on head
>Wake up dizzy as fuck
>Wheelchaired to nurse's office in front of entire school
>Blame hunger
>mfw last day of school
>Mfw never expermented with drugs again

part 3
>after their retreat, user and I walk to our usual spot to finish up the lunch period
>we begin telling our friends about what just happened
>wobewts, chocoalte rain aka boobcanon walk in with the chub club and house face in tow
>wobewts begins trying to start trouble with my friends as i sit on the windows sill talking to another friend
it all happened so fast, i didn't even realize they were there yet
>i look up and wobewts has his prostate poker on my chest
>wobewts continuing his threat to my whole group "..and you I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU"
i have no idea why i snapped
>i lower my voice for some reason and say in a batman voice "scared?? YOU WANNA SEE FUCKING SCARY????"
i stand up and grab him, throwing him acrossed the hallway saying "YOU WANNA SEE FUCKIN SCARY???"
>i keep throwing him and saying it, he keeps getting back up and in my face so i keep throwing him till we reach the door
>ohshitiminafight?.why
>i realize that i could hurt this guy all because he was standing up for himself to by bullying
>i resolve to grab him in a full nelson and try to push him out the door
>his torso his suspended as his arms and legs grab the door and i push on his back
>funniest fucking thing i have ever seen in my life
all this while the chub club is screaming because they've never been important enough to be upset about any situation
>yard duty comes and i put him down

>i walk to office, the whole hallway is laughing their asses off
>i sit in the office as wobewts talks to the principal
>i get called in alone
>principal "you know he's special ed right?"
i actually didn't know this at the time, autistic white knights is a name recently given
>"user, i know you wouldn't be doing this if you knew he was special ed"
>"would you shake his hand and apologize if i bring him in here?"
>yes of course.feelbadnow
>apologize, everything cool

>EVERY TIME I SEE THE PRINCIPAL FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR, HE SAYS:

"sup user, still pickin' on retards?"

nigga what?

damn this thread just finna die lyk dat? okay i start my own den

I am gonna start my own thread with blackjack and hookers!

oh shit where

The moon!