>be me
>be 18
>mummy special little guy
>at mcdonald's getting chicken tendies with my saved up good boy points
>very long line
>need to go pee pee poo poo
>”MUMMY MUMMY I NEED TO GO PEE PEE POO POO NOW NOW NOW”
>mummy looks embarrassed
>says new daddy won't be happy about this
>takes me to little boys room
>I get into stall and begin my poo poo dance
>accidentally miss toilet
>hear something in other stall
>look over
>A man has pee pee mayo like daddy’s all over his hand
>he notices me
>”WHAT THE FUCK YOU LITTLE AUTISTIC SHIT”
>mummy runs into little boys room
>takes me into little girls room
>watches me go pee pee poo poo
>get back in line
>finally at front
>”I WANT CHICKEN TENDIES WITH A MINECRAFT TOY”
>mummy hits me
>”we will take an order of chicken tenders to go
>”BUT MUMMY I WANT TO GO ON THE PLAY PLACE”
>she gives in
>set down at play place
>devour my tendies in one swoop
>”MUMMY MUMMY WHERE IS MY MINECRAFT TOY?”
>she quickly leaves to get me my minecraft toy
>see play place
>waddle over to slide
>begin to climb up play place slide
>somebody comes down the slide knocking us both on the floor
>tard rage engaged
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>smash kids head against window
>window breaks
>he is crying
>jump on him and set on his face
>he goes to sleep
>mummy runs back in with my minecraft toy
>mummy picks me up and carries me to the car
>”why user, why?”
>says we have to 'go on the run'
>mfw
Be me
Are you the one who pays?
*I guess you know what comes next, right?
This is the most retarded thing I've ever read.
>>says we have to 'go on the run'
Huh, why is that?
Um, I don't think he pays for his food.
God, I love these threads.
>be me
>Mummy's perfect little 22 year old
>Daddy passed away a few months ago from a hurt chest after yelling at me to get a job
>before he died he put a little me inside Mummy's tummy
>Mummy starts talking about how nice itll be to have a baby around again
>"But aren't I the baby?"
>"user, you know I'm going to need help raising the baby, you're going to be a big brother and that means responsibility."
>i get mad and tell the whore that I'm not going to share her with that thing inside her
>"user, its time to grow up."
>Mummy gets fat and starts asking me to do shit around the house
>changing my own diaper, answering the door, whatever
>"user, could you throw some chicken tenders in the oven for me and get me a prenatal vitamin shake, I've got a craving!"
>TOO
>FUCKING
>FAR
>go upstairs to Mummy's room and grab her nail polish remover off the nightstand
>go downstairs and pour it into stupid fucking healthy-baby drink
>grab her cunt-face
>"Open wide!"
>Mummy chokes down nasty smelling smoothie and starts to scream and cry
>I keep telling her itll be better this way but she wont stop trying to hit me
>shake all gone so I decide to head back to my room for a nap
>she can make up for everything shes done when I wake up
>Mummy calls 911 screaming about bleeding from her piss-flappy downstairs parts
>I stomp on her phone and tell the bitch that if she calls them again I'll put rat poison in the next smoothie
>Mummy lays on floor for a few hours before she drives herself to the hospital after I fall asleep
>Mummy disobeyed me but baby is gone now
>all is well
god. why did that make me hard?
>4am
>Just finished jacking off for the sixth time
>Semen all over my hands
>Sudden urge for hot and spicy chicken
>raid the pantry, only half a bottle of hot sauce left and no chicken
>I squeeze the bottle as tight as I can to emulate my rage filled face
>it goes all over my hands
>sprint in to my mum's room with my hands behind my back to make me get there faster
>kick the door open then roll to the end of her bed
>She sits upright and yells out
>slowly rise from the end of the bed
>"what the fuck are you doing user you scared me!"
>begin chanting sephiroths theme
>"NOOOO HOTSAUCE NO CHICKKEEEEN"
>demand she drives me to the 24hour store to buy what I want
>"PLEASE user. IT'S 4AM."
>Crawl slowly towards her and rub one hand on her face
>"CHIIICCKKKEEEN"
>doesn't speak to me the whole way
>don't care as I'm blasting the imperishable night OST as loud as I can
>force her to cook me my food as I fap again
>Can hear her crying in the kitchen while I jack a seventh time
pfft
fucking normies, when will they ever learn?
No wonder Dad killed himself
Harsh, but probably for the best. Given the advanced age (I assume) of your mother, the baby probably would've been born with autism.
bump
>me
>me have 39rd birfday party
>mummy pay cuntflap roasty to ruin cake
>hide in cake and get her roasty cootie all over it
>she jump through cake while Im blowing candle
>rage mode enablist
>grab wrestlemania collector steel chair
>smak her in roasty face flap with it
>she fall mummy cry NO
>beat her again and again with chair
>strength of 100 tripple haich
>nono jooz all over floor and cake and me
>peepee rise cause so excited
>mummy pull it to try and stop me beating roasty
>sweet and salty sauce all over cake and me and mummy and roasty sleeping in bloods
>got tenders instead
>best worst birfday ever
>3 AM
>really want Waffle House grilled cheese
>can't drive, never learned
>try to wake mom up to take me there but she keeps telling me to go back to sleep
>start howling so the dog starts barking loudly until she finally gets up
>drives me to waffle house
>get there, remember that local one closes at 2 AM
>nearest 24 hour waffle house is 45 minutes away
>mom refuses to take me, offering McDonald's instead
>grab the steering wheel and veer off the side of the road, threatening to kill us both if she doesn't take me
>she drives me to the 24 hr waffle house
>mfw she cried the whole 45 minutes back while I enjoyed my grilled cheese
Fucking normalfags, when will they learn?
>be me, mommy's 300 pound baby boy
>wake up at 2 pm after a night of intense hentai viewing
>get hungry so i waddle out my room to find mommy
>the dried cum pulls my big boy belly hair
>spit into my hand and rub my belly for quick clean
>see mommy watching tv
>tell her i want tyson tendies
>"sorry user, we are out. we have bagle bites"
>bagle bites
>not on my watch
>i start breathing heavy because of this trauma
>find mommys purse and rub it on my belly
>chuck it at that whores head
>"go to the store and get your baby boy tyson tendies"
>mommy lets out a tear that says she was in the wrong
>she gets in the car and leaves
>i grab the tv remote and put it in my buttcrack
>start rolling on the floor
>get tired and nap on living room floor
>wake up to the smell of tendies
>take remote out of my undies and put it on the couch
>crawl to the kitchen
>mommy is making my tendies!
>the excitement made me gassy
>let out a long liquidy brap
>mommy starts to tear up again, proud of her 27 year old baby boy
>be me
>530 Lbs of mummy's golden child
>sitting on toilet squeezing out a big poo that I've held for a day
>finally drops out along with a BRRRRRAPPPPPPFFPPPPTHTHTHTPPP
>look in the bowl at my masterpiece, skidmarks longer than the M6
>"Mummy, MUMMY, come and see what I did!"
>mum unlocks the door from the outside using the special key for emergencies
>proudly point at the toilet bowl
>wow! You've done so well, and it's all in the bowl too! That's 10 good boy points
>clap my hands because I've been saving my good boy points for weeks, finally at 150
>cash them all in for a special hour with my catgirl
>mummy phones up the people who send the catgirl and talks with them
>hear girl arrive at the door and sit on the end of my bed and take off my pants for the first time in 2 days
>can hear them talking downstairs
>"God, it's not him again is it? He's getting too large for me to do anything"
>hear mummy say "Please, we have a system and it's the only way I can get him to do anything"
>girl sighs and says "I have the catears headband too, I'll be wearing it again?"
>clap my hands because I can tell special time is about to begin
>girl comes into my room and meows and purrs
>have special fun time, she makes my peepee feel good
>the next 50 minutes are spent while I tell her about my comics and my video games
>she's really impressed
>eventually leaves after the hour is up
>mummy comes up with my snack of tendies for being such a good boy
>"enjoy your tendies, snookums, I have to leave now for my nightshift"
>eat my tendies in bed and dream about my waifu Mikasa-san afterwards
How can anyone diss the NEET life? Enjoy your long hours and ungrateful wives, wageslaves.
>the next 50 minutes are spent while I tell her about my comics and my video games
an hour of pure hell
>strength of 100 tripple haich
underrated
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>i wake up for another sing-songy sunshiney sunday funday
>i stretch and yawn as I rip my daily wakey gas, the feeling of liquid splattering against my Magic School Bus undies makes me proud
>i haul myself out of bed, kissing my Rei Ayanami body pillow good morning, but my legs buckle out from under my generous frame
>oh well! I guess I'll have to be a Roly Poly from now on
>i roll over to my GBP chart and check it
>I've saved up a whole 5 GBP! That's a new record I'm SURE mummy will be proud of!
>i roll down the stairs to see what mumsy is up to this wonderful morning
>i slip and crack my nose against the stairpost
>mumma gets up shocked, "user are you okay?!"
>i'm bleeding from my nose and it has a weird shape, but I don't care, "mummy mummy, where's the yummy chickie tendies for my tummy?"
>"what?"
>i lift my shirt and begin slapping my tummy like a bongo "your precious little angel has saved five GBP, make some chickie tendies, and make them all for me!"
>"user, you know the price for a tendie meal is 20 Good Boy Points. And after the Legoland incident you should be grateful that you still have 5 left."
>i freeze. This BITCH, has the fucking GALL, to deprive me of my well deserved poultry cutlets.
>i sit up and begin slamming my feet on the floor angrily and punching my head
>"YOUR SPECIAL LITTLE BOY HAS BEEN GOOD FOR FAR TOO LONG, TENDIES NOW YOU BITCH OR I SHALL DO YOU WRONG"
>she closes her eyes, "user, please calm down..."
>i begin screaming and simultaneously poopooing and peepeeing my pants, but my engine has been burned out and I curl up in my own waste, peacefully sleeping
>i wake up clean and tethered to my bed, a plate of yummy tendies on my tummy with a note from mama jama saying she's sorry for being so harsh and that she's proud of me for being such a good boy
Being a bad boy has its perks, but nothing beats the satisfaction of being mummy's good little boy!
...
>My eyes open and see the blank computer screen
>Mommy must've cut the power to my room
>Joke's on her, over the course of 7 years I have accumulated approximately 13 million Good Boy Points, which should be enough to last me until death
>"TENDIES, TENDIES, IT IS TIME. MUMMY IS AN UNGRATEFUL SWINE," I wheeze with a devilish grin
>Rise up from my chair, a thick layer of grease and mold sticking to the back of my cumstained asscheeks
>Waddle over to the bedroom door, feet squishing through poop and pee
>Light shines in through the windows, realize that I haven't seen the sun in 19 days
>Oh well
>I hear Mommy crying in the other room, slowly move in that direction
>She's sitting at the kitchen table, tears and snot running down her face
>"FIRE DEEP WITHIN MY LOINS, MUMMY WILL PLEASE MY ACHING GROIN."
>The sobbing stops and she looks up
>I'm naked, my cock proudly standing at half mast, most of it weighed down by the various rolls of belly fat
>I slam her weak, anorexic body to the floor and tell her to start sucking
>She's trying to resist, lol
>Easily snap her jaw open
>Her blood makes for excellent lubricant
>"MUMMY SHALL LICK AND LICK, PROVE THY WORTHINESS OF YOUR BABY'S DICK."
>Her teeth begin to fall out, she doesn't need them anyway
>I cum and she makes gurgling noises, spasming and pointing to her throat
>I left her up by her hair, she's not even recognizable anymore
>"MUMMY IS A CHURLISH COW, TO THE FREEZER YOU GO NOW."
>She grabs a box of my favorite brand
>It's Kid Cuisine
>Good fun and good food go great together with Kid Cuisine!
>be me
>be good boy
>wake up on the floor at 3pm from a rough night of erotic asphyxiation
>body is covered in piss, shit, puke and jizz
>I use mummies cum encrusted panties I stole to clean myself up
>end up just smearing shit all over
>MUMMY MUMMY REEEE
>hear mummy make her way up the stairs
>"whats wrong user?"
>as she walks into the room she slips on a stray cumrag
>as she falls over she smashes my prized Hachune Miku poop sculpture
>REEEEEEEEEEEEE
>I struggle to lift myself onto my feet for the first time in weeks
>my diaper leaks with weeks worth of digested tendies and a mixture of cum, piss, and disappointment
>I navigate my way to mummy through piles of garbage and shit
>a swarm of dormant flies rise out of the garbage and fill the room
>YOU'VE DONE IT THIS TIME MUMMY
>she struggles to pick herself up, slipping on piss and shit, "MUMMY IS SO SORRY SWEETIE PLEASE DON'T DO THIS"
>I remove my belt from around my neck and tie her leg to my bed
>YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE YOU COW BITCH
>I pick up my destroyed Hachune Miku sculpture and shove it in mummies screaming mouth
>she gurgles as she weeps and tries to ransom her life with promises of unlimited tendies
>after an hour long struggle mummy finally eats the entire statue
>I waddle back to my computer to continue on my path to reach my goal of 10,000 gameplay hours in CS:GO
>mummy sits on the floor in the fetal position weeping for the rest of the day
>finally untie mummy and tell her to get me tendies
>"s-sure h-honey"
>she disappears for a few hours
>waddle downstairs to see whats taking so fucking long on my god damn tendies
>mummy slit her wrists in the kitchen sink and then hung herself with curtain cords
who will make me tendies now? ;_;
>mommy took me to gamestop to get a new game for being a good boy
>look at the games deciding what to get
>some little shit grabs a pleb tier game off the shelf
>i call him a fag for choosing poorly
>his dad comes up to me and pushes me
>i fall into a rack, knocking it over
>i start crying and mommy tries to help me up
>she screams at the guy that i am autistic
>he argues that i look 25 and should be more of an adult
>actually 28
>as i get up i shart
>they didnt have the game i wanted in stock
btfo newfag
>shit my pants more than once a week
>cant do anything beyond addition and subtraction and even then I can only do it in intervals up to 12
>people still talk to me in a baby voice even though im adult
>the cashier has to scan my debit card for me or ill mess up
>cant pee standing up
>burn the oven mitts all the time because I always turn on the wrong burners and mommy yells at me
>try to fill my cuppy up with ice but it always overflows because I hold the button too long
>dont know how to make my bed so I need mommy to fix the sheets all the time
>got a kitten for a present and loved it like crazy but ended up killing it when I accidentally sat on it
>dont know how to button up my own shirts
>people make fun of me because my shoes are always on the wrong feet and I still have to wear velcro sneakers
>never learned how to cut my food with a knife and fork so when we go out we have to ask the kitchen to do it special
>half the time forced to order off kids menu because I dont know what im ordering otherwise
>cant remember my television channels when cartoons are on so mommy has to change it for me
>spent my entire life in special ed even though I was too self aware to enjoy it
The following is completely true. Unlike the rest of you idiots I actually live the dream!
>29 years old
>In my play room
>Need to make poo
>Lean over my inflatable ottoman
>Put my toy dump truck between my legs and make a shipment.
>Poo-poo is a little runnier than usual, but it doesn't matter.
>*vroom-vroom*
>Now I'm hauling a fresh load across the country
>Mummy brings in my lunch (nachos. I like to change it up)
>"user, I told you not to play with your poo poo!"
>I'm getting real fucking tired of hearing this.
>Flip the plate of nachos into the wall
>Start punching my own head
>"user stop PLEASE STOP!" she screams
>You made me do this I say.
>She runs out of the room to get the tethers to tie my arms back and stop me hitting myself
>Stand behind the door and wait for her to come back.
>As soon as she runs back in I punch her directly in the face as hard as I can, making a weird, wet cracking sound.
>She falls over and hits her head on my dinosaur table.
>I go back to playing with my toy trucks and stuffed animals
>She wakes up a bit later
>I don't say anything, I just stare at her
>She quietly leaves the room, rubbing her fresh bruise
>I can hear her crying from her room.
>Am I worried? No. Regretful? Certainly not.
>I'll wait it out and things will go back to normal.
>It's easy for me to be a good boy.
>If Mummy does what I say I'll be a good little boy.
If she doesn't like it she should have had an abortion. She chose this life.
>She's teying to resist, lol
FUCKING KEK
fuck off with that shit, this is a goodboy thread, not a describe-my-life-with-around-75-percent-accuracy thread
>(nachos. I like to change it up)
I’m dead
>If she doesn't like it she should have had an abortion. She chose this life.
Agreed! All our mothers used to be slutty normalfags bitches. We wouldn't have pity with them normally. Ironically the only reason we do pity them is because they forced us into existence, which is the same reason we should hate them even more
> NEET in the making
> 23 years old and 240lbs momma boy
> Discovered how delicious tendies are
> gaming all day, all night
> sometimes because I forget mom brings tendies up my room
> daddy insists on me getting a job
> can't find one because economy
> Start to make income by creating bots to farm gold and shit in WoW
> Because of the time it takes to set up the bots and manage my funds I can't leave room
> Start to piss in empty milk jugs
> Tendies want out again
> No choice but to shit in another jug
> give daddy money from my bots to shut him up
> I slowly detoriate into a full fledged NEET
> my neck gets t h i c c
> my beard gets long and greasy
> my hair too
> clothes go from XXL to XXXXL
> room starts to smell like plague ridden towns in the middle ages
> still get my funds going
> lose will to socialize
> start to harass mom and dad when they don't feed me
> discover Sup Forums one day
> mfw they all write stories about me
>playing CoD3
>my belly starts to rumble
>"Mommy I need some Tendieeeeeessss."
>"user, for the last time, you're on a diet and can't have fried food!"
>"But momeeeeeee! I have enough GBPeeeee!!"
>no response
>wait a few minutes
>Hear the "bump bump" of mommy walking down the stairs
>a tray slides through my flap-flap on my basement door
>mommy had it installed because "she couldn't bear seeing me"
>remove the neck of my poop jug from my anus
>been sitting on my poop jug as a chair all day
>it makes my peepee feel tingly
>wobble over my bedroom door
>look at the tray
>so taken aback by the horror on my tray that I fall over
>THE BITCH MADE ME BAKED CHICKEN
>clench fists hulk-style and start yelling "IM.... ANGRY"
>"user SMASH!"
>just like my hero saitama knock the basement door off of it's hinges in one punch
>start hobbling up the stairs
>have to stop on 5th step because exhausted
>take a nap on the stairs for about 30 minutes
>continue making my journey up the last 3 steps
>get to the top, reminds me of rocky
>roll up to mommy, poopy butt leaving trails on the carpet
>"hello user how was your dinn-"
>roll straight into her legs, knocking her to the ground
>"MOMMY FAILED TO COMPLY, NOW SHE ten-DIES"
>Start rolling on her like a steamroller
>hear her bones cracking from my beautiful curves
>"user NO PLEASE STOP!"
>activate "Muddy Lemonade" protocol
>start pissing and shitting as i roll over her
>"user ILL MAKE YOU TENDIES JUST PLEASE STOP!"
>I halt
>she crawls to the kitchen her broken legs dragging behind her
>see her pull a handful of what i think are tic-tacs from an orange bottle and put them into the milk for the breading
>I hate mint flavor!
>slither up behind her like a snake that has just eaten a elephant whole
>"PUT MINTS IN MY TENDIES, YOUR SPINE GOES BENDY"
>get mommy's head and bend it backwards so the back touches her butt
>she's limp
>have peepee fun friction time with her mouth
>roll back to basement and start playing CS:GO
>8hrs later still no tendies
>wake up at 2pm
>30 year old NEET
>had accident in sleep which I rolled around in
>grab cum-towel off nightstand and do my best wipe mess from my folds of fat
>tummy gurgles loudly, so hungry
>plop out of bed, navigate through shit jugs and piss bottles in my room
>waddle downstairs to check GBP board
>wait a minute to catch my breath before I look
>just enough Good Boy Points for some tendies and sauce!
>legs buckle under own weight
>roll myself into the living room where mummy is watching her favorite soap opera
>"mummy mummy I have enough Good Boy Points for some tendies!"
>she turns to me with the most disgusting look on her face while I lay flat on the ground stuggling to get up
>"s-sure honey, le-let me just get some tendies for you"
>she walks to the kitchen trying hard not to vomit from the smell and sight of my obese, putrid, feces and semen covered body
>she pulls the tendies out of the freezer after letting the oven heat up as she begins to cry into the sink
>I roll over and pull myself up to my high chair that starts to creak as I sit down
>have my crayons and Power Rangers coloring book to occupy me while I wait
>colored most of it so I start drawing doodles outside the lines
>the tendies are finally done and she puts them on my plate
>she can't hold back the vomit as I open my mouth to eat some tendies and vomits all over my plate
>I can't let these tendies go to waste, so I eat them along with the vomit
>"yummy wummy tendies in my tummy, thanks mummy"
>do my best to muster a smile but the rows of decaying teeth only disgust mummy further
>high-chair finally breaks from my heft
>causes me to have another accident
>mum runs away to her room, sobbing uncontrollably, so ashamed of her baby boy
>I just sit there on floor, in my own filth, thinking about what a disappointment I am
>mfw
And if family history is any indication...
>Be my birthday
>Mama got me the Littlest Pet Shop cake I wanted
>Get a card from grammy
>"Enjoy your birthday, sorry I couldn't be there sweety, I hope you can use this"
>A lot of weird green paper in there
>Mamas eyes get big
>Ask her what these are
>"It's money, I use it to buy your chicken and videogames"
>"Can I trade it for good boy points?"
>"Yes you can, of course you can"
>then new daddy walks into the room
>smells like smoke and adult apple juice
>slaps mamas butt
>sees the money
>"I need this for the poker game tonight"
>Mama says no, I traded it with her
>He slaps her faces butt now
>Mama screams
>I'm sitting there eating my cake
>Ask her when dinner is ready
>She says I gotta help her
>This FUCKING NORMIE
>ASKS ME
>TO HELP HER
>ON MY OWN BIRTHDAY
>take off all my clothes and jump on the table
>Press my willy in the cake and run to mama screaming at the top of my lungs flailing my arms
>hit mama in the belly
>hear a loud oomf
>new daddy looks at me
>I look at him
>I get down on my knees and grab his crotch
>he goes back and asks me what I'm doing
>I just wanted to show him I can be mama too
>Run at him and bite him in his crotch
>even though he wore pants he dropped to the ground crying
>now everyone was crying
>my diaper has been full the whole time
>put some cake in diaper since mama isnt changing it and feed it to new daddy
>new daddy never came back after the poker game
>mama made me fresh chicken tendies with a side of pizza that night
>she didn't even charge my good boy points
>best 30th birthday ever
The day the i got out of the house and breathe in real air.
>be me.
>29 years old, 200 lbs in weight.
>room full of pee, poo, garbage consisting of cans of coke, doritos bags, pee bottles and others things along side cum bottles and cum on the floor, poo included.
>tons of cum on chair
>wakes up at 6 in the morning
>waddles to ask mummy for tendies
>mummy is drunk asleep
>i shake her saying, MUMMY WAKE UP YOU UNGRATEFUL PIG
>she wakes up in shock.
>y-yes user what do you want
>I WANT MY TENDIES NOW
>After all the years of collecting good boy points i can have about 50 tendies.
>i h-h-ad enough of y-you user. you n-n-need to get out of the house and get some tendies yourself f-f-rom the shop. she says.
>ok mummy
>unsure of my surroundings i gets scared.
>walks about 20 feet away from mummies in search of tendies.
>uses outdated and shitty map covered in pee and poo
>gets very scared and waddles back home
>strangers around me get very confused
>one says 'eww what the hell is that fucking loser doing?'.
>i get very mad shouting 'REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DON'T SAY THAT YOU COW'
>epicchase.jpg
>finally catch up with him and find out i am at the store
>goes in with money mommy gave me.
>finds the tendies
>victory music plays in head as i obtained the tendies
>Asks shop person how much the tendies are.
>he says there $10
>the shop person tells me i know your mother.
>i pay for my delicious tendies with sauce included.
>shop person takes me to mommy's house
>goes in home
>rushes upstairs with tendies in joy i'm home
>weeks later the mail came in
>it said manchild runs around street naked with poo in hands.
>realised it was me
>mfw