I fucked up guys. I was getting ready to jerk off and saw my measuring tape on my desk, decided to measure my dick...

I fucked up guys. I was getting ready to jerk off and saw my measuring tape on my desk, decided to measure my dick. As I was doing it the measuring tape folded in on itself and sliced the top of my dick.

Inb4 small dick, I'm a grower not a shower.

Protip from another grower, no one believes you when you say that youre a grower unless you post a full stiffy.
Faggot.

YOU FUCKING IDIOT

dick are like alien heads. just cut off and it wil regrow in approx. 2weeks

Full stiffy is not an option right now. Gotta keep my dick flaccid and the skin unstretched.

...

won't work in 25 years - cutfag approved

What kind of fag doesnt have photos of his hard dick saved?

I have no good response to this.

kek
>tfw you never have taken a picture of your dick

Keep it clean and slather it up with Neosporin, faggot.

I've taken dick pics before. I usually just sent them over snapchat and never bothered to save them.

I don't, because no females are interested

i am taking dick pics of me for really long and regularly. starting as a toddler in the tub kek.
i really can't explain how i have taken them.

wat

Dip your dick in ice or cold water for 2 hours

pour drain cleaner over it it will kill the bacteria and viruses

>ice
"OP's dick falls off from frostbite"

Ouch.
But just keep it clean and it'll heal nicely.

Dude, your dick isn't significantly bigger than your thumbnail.

Do you have fucking enormous thumbs, or an absurdly tiny cock?

I know you admitted to rocking a shorty, but /HOLY SHIT/ OP. That's unreal.

OP, based on this pic, you have a large clitoris, not a small dick.

My dick basically shrivelled when I got the cut.

OP here. Best I could do for a dick pic is a snapshot from a video I took of me fucking a girl I know a few weeks back.

Just get your mummy to kiss it better and make you some tendies

> implying you need a tape measure to measure your micro pecker