How can I safely steal one of these bad boys?

How can I safely steal one of these bad boys?

I go to a relatively large university and idiots are always leaving their macbooks unattended at the library. How can I steal one safely? I want to use xcode to learn swift and stuff. I've tried vm but it lags bad and I don't feel like building a hackintosh and I don't wanna pay 2 grand.

I don't mean the physical act, but rather the aftermath. What do I have to do to be safe from tracking?

I can easily wipe (or even replace) the hard drive to deal with find my mac or whatever, but I've read that Apple has other methods to track specific hardware components, etc.


Also, general theft/scumbag thread.

pic related. I want one

>obtain cloak
>obtain smoke bomb
>????
>????
>literally profit

wow why didn't I think of that, thanks user

I know one of you degenerates has stolen one before

no real way to steal one my dude. Unless you know the passwords to both open the pc and then to do a factory wipe . usually the password is the same for both. if you were to steal one, id say just stay near the building and try too open and format the pc real quick and if you fail just ditch it

Impossible. Apple is the greatest, most technological advanced company ever. They are smarter than you and will catch you

Try not acting like a nigger and fucking buy one yourself u useless waste of flesh

once you steal it go to your dorm or whatever and take the whole thing apart so it cant be tracked. after its apart either figure it out through tricking Reddit users to tell you how or wait a couple months until the college faggot forgets about it

Try and figure out a password before stealing it. Then jack it and reset it and sell to someone you've already set up with. That person will take the fall and use the money to buy your own

Couldn't I just replace the hard drive?? Are there any measures Apple has employed that wouldn't be bypassed by this?

First off you're a faggot. I wouldn't have a mac if Apple paid me 5 grand to take it let alone steal one. You have shit taste. Secondly, stealing is for poorfag and niggers. You are likely both. So you should kill yourself

I have 3 MacBooks, and I’m pointing and laughing at you for being a poor faggot

Kek

HD is soldered into the latest models IIRC

if you have a cloak you don't need a smoke bomb, fucking idiot

Apple's computers became pure shit when they went to the unibody fuck

So is the ram and battery is non replaceable

You can always sell/pawn it at a pawshop for quick money.
Just be sure to have a disguise and have fake id

You're a faggot for stealing people's shit.

That being said, find a dumb college bitch that lives on daddies money and steal her shit. She won't report it she'll just have her dad buy her a new one. That's probably the only plausible way to do so without fear of getting busted.

bump for non brain-dead answer

...

why the fuck would you want to learn apple's autistic programming language

Just get an old one for a few hundred bucks faggot. You don’t need the latest hw to run Xcode and use swift.

Frankly, if you just wanted to learn swift, you don’t even need a Mac

Yeah...the fucking MAC address that is SOLDERED INTO THE FUCKING LOGIC BOARD can be tracked. Dude....get a job and buy a refurb for $700 or less. You'll easily pay that to make bail on grand larceny.

I see you never actually done it. The smoke is to make people distracted, lest someone try and chase down the guy in the cloak that can hardly see himself due to a cloak being in his face, and hard to move. Smoke added is meant to level the playing field to lower others vision, and to distract.