Feels thread

>feels thread

I'll start

>best friend has stage 4 cancer
>every days a wildly inconsistent disaster
>some days he seems like he has a few months left in him
>some days it seems like he only has a few weeks
>today was a bad day
>he was talking about money issues
>i try to explain we can pay off his creditors with the money he has no problem
>'maybe we should just speed this up?'
>me: speed up what?
>him: 'the end.'
>I tell him there is no need for that we can pay his creditors and leave money for his family
>he changes his reason now
>'i just can't handle this emotionally anymore. I can't hold on to anythign for more than 20 minutes'
>just two days ago we were looking into maybe trying treatment options again (he was rejected for all treatments before and sent home to die)
>now hes talking about ending it early

really rough day.

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you know if i just said
>tfw no gf

im pretty sure we'd have dozens of anons chiming in about how sad that is.

Dat hand tho

It depends on whether you're wanting a girlfriend or not right now, Sup Forumsro. If you're trying to find someone and can't, like I am, or you had a girlfriend and she just died or broke up with you, that's sad. If you're content being single as you are, then there is no reason to be sad.

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you're missing the context. i made a post about how my best friend is dying from cancer and is trying to exit early via suicide. no responses.

but if i said 'tfw no gf' three'd be a dozen anons chiming in

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That's good stuff

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>missing the context

cant miss what nobody could have ever begin to think about if you didnt say something

theres literally only two posts in this thread with text up to that point. it was very clear. you just didn't think too hard. it happens to the best of us.

right in the fucking feels, fuck

Ahhh, you are OP. I should've replied to you, but I was lost in thought and zoned out and started posting images while thinking of how one of my aunts is slowly dying of cancer, but refusing surgery and chem, because of "big pharma." Damn alternative medicine. Damn quacks and their seemingly excellent sounding schemes.

I am sorry, OP; that really must suck. Have you found any reasons what causes him to have a good day vs. a bad day? This seems heart-wrenching; I cannot imagine your pain

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Hope you start doing better

it happens to the best of us (re: zoning out).

as for good and bad, mostly pain. when hes not in too much pain hes in a good mood, and just on enough pain pills to dull out the emotional stuff. i mean it still gets emotional, but not to these extremes.

but the problem is his pain pills arent enough anymore, and hes starting to take more and more morphine pills on top of his regular pain medicine, which is allowed, but he seems to have a low threshold before he stops breathing.

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So he's caught between a hard place, in that either he's in pain or he's having trouble breathing nowadays? Morphine is pretty strong stuff.

im autistic i forgot to read the original post before i started scrolling. my bad user.

hes not having trouble breathing as a general rule. but one night he seems to have stopped for a whole minute before his body shocked him back to life.

Prolly rough, but I am a puss with nothing wrong and I want to go sometimes. Maybe he is just really ready. You sound like a good pal to be there for him.

shit happens. we've all done it.

this isn't feels but its a toraton, a projection of what a turtle might evolve into some 300 million years from now. its in my feels folder and i never move it. but its cool.

i dont mind if he wants to, i mean its going to hurt, but thats his choice. I told him that when we got the prognosis a few months ago. i just really dont want him to go for 'financial' reasons. thats no reason to die. he could live very comfortable til he dies naturally and we get thousands upon thousands in donations from our clients each month.

but it seems like that was just his 'rational' excuse for an emotional desire. i can understand why he wants to die. and if thats what he wants I support it, but jesus christ its hard to hear.

Sorry to hear, OP. I have a degenerative disease, so i completely understand your friend. We all know we're going to die sone day, but people like us have to face that a lot more often.
Some days yoou might feel like life is worth living. Like you can get up and solve problems... then the next you just can't even do basic things. You can't even waste time in a video game.
The worst part is seeing the effect on your loved ones. It starts feeling like "the sooner I'm gone, the sooner they can heal."

starting to, thanks user

That pic is so fucking true.

damn man how much time you got?

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No timeline yet, I'm still on the "healthier end of things" but... I'm as far along at 26 as most people are at 56. I completely lost the ability to walk over about nine months. When i have a flare up it can last for two months where i lose basic shit like my sense of balance, which gives me constant vertigo.
Thus far it's cost me a career and, as of a few weeks ago, the woman i thought I'd spend my life with. Who knows what I'll lose next :V

Story of my fucking life.

damn man thats rough. i couldn't imagine abandoning my friend, though th ethoughts come by. one of his chief complaints during todays cry session (yeah, we cry often) was 'i feel like i wasted your life'. i cant believe hes going out with thoughts like that in his head. i try to tell him otherwise. frankly i wish id met him sooner.

Yeah, I bet it is hard. I'd be wigging out hardcpre. Good luck user.

ive been dealing with the diagnosis since november and never expected him to make it to march so im more ready than most of his flock. god damn some of them are in hardcore denial.

i had a moment of hope myself recently though. that night he stopped breathing. really brought me back to earth.

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Honestly I'm glad to hear the other side of it. It's just hard to feel like you as a person are worth the time and effort people put into you. When you're just sick all the time, how can you feel like you're good enough for this? The people you love are reduced to spending their time on you when they could be like... doing anything else.

I guess I am a half-breed then. 25 now and during school and my Bachelor`s I belonged to the people in the lead careerwise. Moved out right after school with 19y (average here is something like 24) and pushed through my Bachelor`s like a madman and qualified for a scholarship and a year abroad to then start my Master`s (which I currently am doing).

However, socially I am as Sup Forums as it gets and can definitely relate to this post. Never had a gf and only acquaintances in highschool, but I at least was forced to interact with people. During Uni I completely hid in my own world. Study, work, vidya. When the year abroad started I felt the full force of my underdevelopment. I could not for the life of me relate to ANY person in my dormitory. It felt like my whole existence was shifted to another frequency. And finally seeing how happy Normie`s are generally, I started to suffer from being unable to connect no matter how hard I tried. The full force of a decade of underdevelopment and ~3years of isolation hit me at once. I lost my focus on my goals and lost my sense of purpose and became nihilistic. I started to fall behind, in total lost 2 years to depression.

Now I am nearing 26 and where I once was in the lead and ambitious, I am now almost 3 years late. People around me have found their niche, graduated and started working. Others are already talking abiut marrying and starting a family. I am still in my Master`s have at least another year to study and my grades suck. But I am slowly shiftig this back to a pathway that will lead me where I want to be. Though I still don`t know how to fix the social bullshit. I went full circle and only lost time.

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it helps that we still have money from the business, so while im not pursuing my passions atm im still being paid to just take care of him for the time im there.

but beyond that, my friend is kind of a massive cult leader, so itsr really hard for us to imagine how he CANT imagine how much we want to take care of him. hes touched so many lives and put so many of us on more positive paths.

when he dies im taking his last name.

shoulda enjoyed my youth...

Don't base your life on made-up timelines, man. When you were 20 and tearing shit up, somebody looked over and thought "he's over there going hard on his life. What the fuck am I doing?"
You have a goal and you have a plan. You'll get there when you get there, and it'll be the right time.

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Ok, totally unrelated (but not entirely), and diff user, but I have a friend who's an absolute piece of trash on paper. Crap job, only one of us not to graduate college, lives in his parents basement still (we're all around 30), can't get us into clubs, doesn't bring girls to the parties etc etc. We're always paying for him (drinks movies etc).
We were actually talking about it today how he brings absolutely nothing to the table (except really good weed, but only sometimes) and only takes, but you know what? We still love the guy. Great character, funny personality, and we're not gonna drop him anytime soon.
Just saying, I know you feel like a drain, but sometimes that's not all your measured by. Some of these people obviously find you worth their time.
You know what else they'd be doing? Probly watching Netflix. It's what people that still have time to waste do.

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... guess you're right, user. Thanks.

>and it`ll be the right time

That`s what I am afraid of. That it won`t be. My goal is very specific and if there are applicants that are younger and have better grades, why would they bother hiring me? Because I really want it?

Kind of the same with the social stuff. I feel like it is not only my inability that makes it hard to find lasting friendships or even a gf. It`s like most people I come into contact with nowadays seem already "decided". They have their comfortable life with their set of friends and loved ones sorted out and don`t want anything (or anyone) disturbing this. Basd on the ever increasing difficulty I feel like I can extrapolate this into the future and the people who "are available" for a romantic relationship as well as platonic get fewer and fewer.

It`s actually less about the "omg 26 IS objectively the time to be done with your studies and be married" - thing

Dude fuck you! Not a rip your childhood out and stomp on it thread!

If he's gonna die why not just end it now? Is it painful?

I am okay with him wanting to end it and told him early on that it is his decision and I will not try to stop him. but that doesn't mean its not hard to hear. no one likes to hear that what little time you had left with a friend is going to be cut purposely short.

especially when he presented it as a financial issue.

user i get that you're young, but you *really* don't get it. Don't ask op to explain the value of life.

No you don't "get" it. Everyone is going to die eventually. If his friend is suffering he has every right to end it. His pain will always trump your feelings. If you cant see that then you're the young one.

hope u like 12 cause u got no excuse for being this retarded

Is this a more sophisticated attempt at the "..., kid" insult at the end of a statement online?

OP already addressed this in the thread. It's not about "letting him" do it. He's not asking for permission.
OP is facing the harsh realities of letting a loved one go. Try to be respectful.

I mean, it's not like there's only a few openings tho, right? Maybe you don't land the Google equivalent of your industry, but certainly small businesses will find value in not hiring a fresh, inexperienced-in-life millennial.
As far as new friends and loved ones, for sure it is that much harder after college, but not impossible by any means. It's taken me months to a year no matter where I've moved, but I've always found a good group that's still open to new things or people, usually meeting the one person at a party who introduces me to more people. I mean, for sure you've got to offer something like laughs or know all the great places to eat, but just saying I'm by no means an outgoing Chad and I've done it. You can too

you can't ask for respect in this shithole, retards don't even know what that means in real life

I have a huge, HUGE chaos in my mind for quite some time now. And I don't really see it getting better in the near future

Where is this from? Looks like it's from some kind of zombie comic or something

How do I stop thinking about her Sup Forums?

walking dead comic probs

Thanks man. I`m gonna study now and will take this positivity with me.

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Accept the following.

You aren't going to be in her life anymore.

Maybe you'll find someone like her, maybe you'll find someone better, maybe you'll find someone worse. But you won't be with her anymore.

Also accept that one day, you won't care.

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My girlbof 3 years left me about. A week and a half ago. I was fine until i looked at her insta. She seems to be posting just fine. Like nothong ever happened.

I mean i didnt really post about and ive kept it as private as i can but fucking hell seeing thag just kills me. She didnt say i love you when she left. She said she needed some time to think. A couple days later i hear from a mutual friend that she decided to brake up with me. She didnt even fucking tell me herself.

Jesus this fucking sucks.