Feels thread

Feels thread

This story will probably make many of you hate me, but it's from the heart. Here goes.
>be me
>be kind of a dick
>not a full blown chad, but complete "gymbro" bodybuilder, used to have a little bit of an ego from it
>first year at college
>hyped as all hell
>roommates with my best bro from back home
>make a bunch of new friends in the dorms on move in day
>one of those say "hi" to everyone and talk for 3 minutes but forget their name situations
>on the way into an auditorium for freshman orientation
>see someone across the hall checking me out
>roommate made some sexual comment, but I wasn't paying attention
>QT, not short or too tall, pale, freckles, baby blue eyes, light brown hair, glasses
>look back, go to say hi
>I walk over and ask her if I saw her earlier moving in
>she looks away
>blushes super hard
>"yeah.. I'm in 234B"
>same floor as me, opposite end of the building
>"oh that's right, what's your name again?"
>"april... and you?"
>"user"
>she smiled the most pure smile I've ever seen
>faculty start ushering us into the auditorium
>sit with her and make fun of the "don't drink or you'll get alcohol poisoning and die instantly" lecture
>exchange numbers and snaps before we leave
>learn that night we have 3 classes together
>quickly becomes one of my best friends
>any time not spent with roomate bro, at the gym with bros or partying is usually spent with her
>becomes friends with my friends too as the semester goes on
>study with her most days
>eat with her at least 4 or 5 meals a week

>start teaching her how to work out, she comes with me to the gym 2 or 3 times a week
>go on hikes and take cool pictures with her for her photography class
>watch a few TV shows on netflix together
>she would always fall asleep on me when we were watching and I'd carry her back to her dorm
>notice she doesn't really talk to other guys
>ask her if she has her eye on any guys at lunch one day
>"well... I don't know. I like things how they are right now."
>have no clue what that means because at the time I was always trying to get with some girl and partied most weekends (side note: I don't drink, I was just had stereotypical bro mentality)
>always seems a little down when I go to a party or hook up with some girl and brag to bros about it
>always looks really let down when I bring up other girls
>start to think she feels left out
>I know she doesn't really go to parties or anything
>tell her she should come to a party with me
>hesitantly agrees
>go out next Friday
>party is being hosted by a sorority and a house owned by some other students that share a yard
>total rager, no expense spared
>bring her in and get her a drink
>ironic looking back, I don't really drink much myself even
>Walk her around to introduce her to people, she seems happy but a little shy like she always is
>some whore I hooked up with previously comes up to me and drunkenly accosts me while getting kind of frisky
>she looks visibly upset
>tell the whore off
>figure it only upset her because she was obnoxious and interrupted us
>walk over to a couple guys I see at the gym a good bit and introduce her
>they were cunts looking back on it, but whatever
>one of em starts getting flirty with April
>think they're hitting it off because I'm retarded

>wander off
>go talk to some sorority skank
>She offers to "show me her room"
>takes my hand and walks me up spiral staircase
>get a glimpse of april
>she's not talking to that guy
>just talking to one of her friends
>whatever.jpg
>fuck sorority whore
>terrible, feel kinda disappointed with myself after
>decide I wanna go back and check on April
>April sees me walk back down with the slut
>suddenly looks completely devastated
>holding back tears and storms off
>don't hear from her the next day
>try to call her
>nothing
>snap her roommate
>her roommate tells me she's been more or less crying constantly two days after
>she responds to me finally and says she was just having a bad day
>wants to see me
>no fucking clue what's going on at this point
>agree to go get subs together
>she still seems so let down
>ask her if it was someone at the party
>"well... no, they were ok I just didn't really get into it"
>can't really decipher anything from that, but ok
>ask her if she's ok now
>"yeah" she says with a half smile

>ask if it's because I left her alone with those guys, tell her I wasn't thinking
>"no they were fine, I just didn't feel like talking to guys"
>I'm not a smart man, but I know she's not ok
>decide not to press her anymore
>Tell her I'm sorry for assuming she wanted to hook up, and that I know she's not easy or some slut
>opens her mouth and hesitates for a moment as her lip trembles
>asks me why I always want to hook up with all those girls
>don't remember exactly what I said, but it was a pretty chad answer, definitely made me look like a douche
>April is still clearly upset now
>we go back to study a little
>leave after a little, but tell her we'll do something fun together next weekend
>next friday I come to pick her up from her last class
>she's super excited to see me
>I'm fucking wrecked from a 5 hour gym session with juice bros
>tell her I need a rest and wanna do something fun all day on saturday if she's not busy
>she immediately agrees and looks so happy
>we made some food and walked around a park for a little while
>ran around and pet some dogs
>just mess around for a while too
>one of her friends calls and tells her there's gonna be a meteor shower that night, invites us to come watch from a hot springs pool near our college.
>fuckyeah
>pack roommate bro's jeep with her friends and us and head on over
>really pretty view of the sky, out in the desert, away from too much city light
>she grabs my hand and pulls me off away from the group
>find a small warm spot near a big rock and sit there
>she cuddles up against me
>she's done this before and fallen asleep on me too, but this time she wraps her arm around me and puts her head on my chest
>just go with it and put my arm around her
>slowly, more and more shooting stars appear
>start as these tiny streaks and turn into these brilliantly bright white streaks that shoot across the sky faster than anything else
>really pretty tbh, I highly recommend

>midway through she just kinda looks up at me but doesn't say anything
>starts getting a little teary-eyed
>takes a deep breath, looks me in the eye and says "I'm so happy to have you in my life, user"
>I, an intellectual, tell her that she's a great friend and I'm glad to have her too because I pick up on nothing
>From that moment on, she always seemed a little bit sadder
>week goes on fairly normally though
>that friday she begs me to watch netflix with her
>remind her I was gonna go to a frat party at sigma house, but say she should come with me
>says she's not feeling great, begs me to stay
>tell her I will, but ask if I can swing by for a little after we're done watching
>"yeah I guess so..."
>hours go by, but she falls asleep on my chest, arms around me
>don't have the heart to wake her up, looks so peaceful
>set the laptop at the bedside and just cuddle with her
>I think she planned this, looking back
>next day she seems remarkably chipper, brings me and her some breakfast her roommate brought
>stays happy all week
>figure it might have been her period or something because I'm just great at logic and reasoning
>next friday I accidentally blew off plans with April because some girl on the soccer team came over to my dorm
>been talking to her for a few days, basically just planning to hook up again
>start fooling around
>right as my dick was about to go in her mouth, April and my roommate walk in
>roommate laughs and walks back out

>April stares and looks so defeated
>walks away after a few seconds
>the next week she seems really down but tries to act normal
>doesn't wanna go to the gym
>confront her about it at lunch that wednesday
>ask her why she's so down lately
>"I just have a lot going on right now, it's a lot to handle"
>tell her I'll do anything she wants to this weekend if she wants to hang out with me
>she was silent for a moment, but then smiled a little
>"can we just go look at the stars again, user? I loved doing that"
>tell her of course, Immediately convince roommate to borrow jeep (top was off, easy view)
>pick her up from class on friday and take a nap in her dorm
>feelsgoodman
>when we wake up, I asked her if she wanted to bring anyone else that evening
>"Can it just be you and me this time?"
>oddly enough, this was the first thing that made me question if she was into me
>don't think too much of it though, and agree
>she had the idea to make a fire and make scores, so we stopped by the grocery store before driving up to the viewpoint
>get there, totally quiet, no moon, every star and the milky way are fairly visible
>cuddle up in a sleeping bag thing I brought (even for the desert, it gets kinda cold that time of year)
>she starts running her hand on my chest
>looks straight at me
>"user?"
>look back at her
>"I love you, user"

>my entire train of thought came to a screeching halt
>she goes on, "I was upset at that party because I can't stand to see you do that with other girls and I don't want to talk to other guys. I feel like I'll never be good enough for you. I know I'll never be like those other girls because they're all so pretty and I've never even had sex before. Everything about you is so perfect and it just bothers me that I can never have you. I'm sorry if this seems like I'm putting a lot on you at once, but if you give me a chance I promise I will be the best girlfriend you've ever had and I will do anything you want."
>holy shit
>it all made sense now
>obviously I was pretty taken back, but after processing for a moment I put two and two together
>it all made sense
>realize what a piece of shit I am
>realize I constantly reject the one person who will do anything just to make me happy
>pull her head in and kiss her
>for a moment, that feeling outweighed the feeling of being a complete piece of shit chad
>just hold her there for a bit and play with her hair
>"I'm sorry, do you still wanna do something tomorrow, user?"
>tell her "of course"
>says her friends are hiking in some canyon valley with a long ass indian name
>one of the bros is gonna be there
>everyone is gonna do LSD apparently
>she's scared and wants me there
>afterwards we went back to my dorm and she fell asleep on me before I could take her back to hers
>pull the covers over her and just let her sleep

>next day she woke me up and had already been up and got breakfast
>happiest I'd seen her in months, probably ever
>"I'm really scared user" she said with a nervous but happy smile "you'll do it with me right?"
>I'm not exactly ready to hallucinate for 12 hrs but I agree of course
>once we get to the valley I realize what a terrible idea this seems like
>the plan is to take LSD and wander around until it wears off and go home
>we have one sober person to make sure we all get home, but still seems sketchy
>do it anyway because college
>takes almost 45 minutes to get full effects, but there's no dragons or anything, colors and patterns just become amazingly beautiful
>so does April
>we're still grounded to reality pretty well, so we walked up a short trail to an overlook point
>sit down and take in the sheer beauty of the canyon
>April cuddles up against me
>pure fucking bliss
>it all made so much sense all the sudden
>look at her and tell her "I love you too"
>she looked so incredible right then, I can't even describe it
>start kissing her
>start kissing her neck
>she's super into it, takes off her glasses
>keep going until we're just laying naked on a big ass rock
>looks at me and says in an almost excited voice "it's ok, I'm ready"
>had sex for what turned out to be 3 hours until the sober person found us
>don't care really, but it definitely ended the moment
>don't have a great memory of the day after that, but I know we both got home fine
>woke up the next day to a soft whisper
>"hey, user, how do you feel?"
>felt like shit btw from the LSD, but I couldn't have been happier

And that's how I met my fiance. Don't ever try to be chad guys, it will never truly make you happy.

...

cognitive behavioral therapy
ruined my on relief/sitmulation of self harm
now im just waiting to die
getting drunk just to hope i dont wake up

...

>Don't ever try to be chad guys, it will never truly make you happy.

I am proud of you random user. But fuck are you retarded.

I know... at least my retardation didn't permanently fuck me over

Congratulations but you didn't deserve her, be glad dude.

...

Damn, thought it was gonna end badly but that was actually a cheerful feels story.
Thanks for the read, man. Now back to sad feels that I'll never experience this myself

Figured I'd make one. it was a good story user. You deserve to be capped. I was moved.

I'm proud of you, user.

saved because moved.

That's just it though. You can, maybe not this instant like you want, but if you start to reach out to other people you enjoy being around it will happen without you knowing it. You will most likely have to change something about your daily habits, however. For me, it was going off to college

Call me a faggot or whatever. But like, My life is getting so much better since I finally started transitioning. Sure traps are gay whatever. But like, I have a fiance now. I'm getting out of the navy and going to college man. Things are looking up. And they will for you too user. Please be safe, and keep working for it. I believe in you!~

Sorry, that might not make much sense. My point is it takes little steps over time to be stable and happy. You'll get there user. You'll get there.

Someone I know just killed someone he loved, and put one of his family members in critical condition in the hospital, in the middle of a busy place.

Another person I know, is completely running with that pity and attention, making it a sob story all for herself.

Mind you, the woman using this for pity is the most slimiest cunt I have ever seen in my life.

This whore, after cheating on her husband continuously for 20 years, for even the slightest bit of attention, is taking something tragic, and something unrelated to her, and making it about herself, just so she can get likes on her posts on Facebook.

I feel like posting Her Image because I know she's sends nudes to anyone who gets off to her, just to jack off her disgusting ego.

>and people wonder why I can no longer stand to use facebook anymore

thanks guys.
I hope you all find your April

without the too retarded to see she loves you part tho

I have found my April. Thank you anonymous. You are sweet. Please take care of her.

I just got a bj from my girlfriend a few minutes ago. Feeling pretty good right now.

Grow up kids

"The kind of tired even sleep won't fix" can only be helped by doing activities and accomplishing goals.

Trust me, it helps.

Don't " grow up", instead be yourself and live in balance.

Strange feel here

>Have very good friend A
>A loves to travel, wanted to travel with me a few times
>I reject everytime because I do not like to travel
>So A must of course rely on other people when it comes to travel
>Person B asks A to do a short trip abroad for four days
>A agrees of course
>A is sharing pictures and stories with me via text
>I get jealous and even mad, because I kinda like the country they're in
>But still I wouldn't travel there and of course want A to have a good time

What is this feel?

Confliction based on ego(wanting admiration from others to feed your ego to be precise), hate for yourself based fear possibly stemming from agoraphobia/xenophobia or acrophobia, and love/kinship for your friend.

you didn't deserve her virginity

This.

Try doing other things to break your cycle.

Depression is environmental.

It does, but is also a temporary fix.
Gets worse the older you get, too.

That is... a surprisingly good answer!

But how to overcome this conflict?