Sup Forums Feels Bar is Open

Sup Forums Feels Bar is Open

Oy doc, hit me with a double fernet menthe

...

Bump , give me feels

I'll have a shot of regret with a backing of memories of dead friends, and double of Some day my parents will die, neat.

I'll take a tall glass of I should've kissed her

Okay, ive got a Double Fernet, and a Regrettiato.

Glass of One-That-Got-Away

A shot of Rememberance for the ol' chap.

Any other requests?

A pint of feels for the Gentlemen in the Fedora

Give me a glass of I should stop cutting myself

...

aye Lenny, pour me one glass of your best pisscunt on the rocks
i gots the brown and need to drink myself stupid

A glass of, that one time I should have beaten the shit of that guy , I had the chance but was too "good" for it.

Do you have any drink to help forget the pain of unrequited love?

...

Pint of Red Current Rum for the fellow with the 5 o clock shadow
Glass of Vodka for the fellow in the trench coat
Glass of water for the alcoholic

I SAID PISS CUNT ON THE ROCKS YOU IGNORANT SHITFUCK, WHY CAN'T YOU NEVER GET MY ORDERS RIGHT YOU FUCKING RETARD? I ALWAYS TIP YOU WELL

Apologies sir, we've been a little busy this evening, have a pint of Strawberry Remembrance on the house.

I SAID PISSSSSSS CCUUUUUNNNNNTTTT ONNNN THHEEEEE RAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWKKSSSSS YOU FUCKING INBRED COUSIN FUCKING HILL BILLY PIECE OF NIGGER SHIT

Haaaah that's my cap. Hit me with a crying cherry, extra lemon and make it burn.

Sir, we unfortunately don't serve porn here, and please lower your voice, you're scaring the autists.
If you do it again, i will have to ask you to please leave the bar.

Pint o' Crying Cherry, burnt to a crisp for the fellow in blue.

Sir, yes hello. I am security, and I will have to ask you to leave if you continue to make a scene. We serve what we serve here sir. Have a complimentary forgetti pop on me sir.

Pretty good there fellah. Here let me mix ye up a bloody cowboy, on if my signatures.

>girl at work stops me ands to smoke on her lunch break
>2hrs later, it's like i mever exsisted.
Moral of the story: fuck bitches.

LENNY, YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS A GLASS OF PISSCUNT AND I'M ALWAYS ASKING YOU THE SAME FUCKING THING EVERYTIME I COME IN HERE SO STOP BEING SUCH A STUCK UP COCKSMOKING SHITSNIFFING DICKTARTS YOU CONGLOMERATED ASSFUCKING COCKSUCKER
YOU GO SUCK A DICK

Why can't I leave my house

holy shit

Sir, im going to have to ask you to leave the bar.
We don't serve 'Pisscunt on the Rocks' here.

this was a little heavy. Wasn't ready for this type of feel. Not complaining tho

SIR, I WILL USE MY TASER IF NECCESARY. STEP AWAY FROM THE BAR PLEASE.

Any reason you cant leave your house sir?
Might i suggest a shot of anxiety and depression to wash it down?

LENNY STOP ACTING LIKE A FUCKING RETARD AND POUR THAT GODDAMN GLASS OF PISSCUNT, I KNOW YOU HAVE IT
HELL, I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'RE HIDING IT BECAUSE YOU PROBABLY GOT CURIOUS OF ME COMING HERE ALL THE TIME DRINKING GLASSES OF PISSCUNT ON THE ROCKS ALL NIGHT THAT YOU DECIDED TO TASTE IT FOR YOURSELF AND NOW YOU'RE KEEPING IT FOR YOURSELF LIKE THE FILTHY KIKE THAT YOU ARE
I WILL FUCK YOU RIGHT UP THE ASS WITH MY MUSTANG SIZED 15 INCHER SO BACK THE FUCK OFF DOUCHENOZZLE

YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME NOW

...

Haven't drank alcohol in a year and a half.
Haven't gotten laid in almost a year. Just matched a girl on tinder... something for smoothness please good sir.

Apologies for the wait sir, we've been extremely busy this evening.
Got your shot of Anguish and Pain here.

I'll have some 20year old should have fucked her, please. With a clove cigarette and some Peter steel for added feels.

A shot of blueberry train-wreck for the fellow with good digits.

Thank you my kind man. Herbs would do nicely.

A shot of One-That-Got-Away, with the clove cigarette and Peter Steel for appetizer.

We have Marijuana blunts, on the house on account of good digits.

I don't understand it guys. I think I just beat depression, my highs are higher and my lows aren't as low. Funny really, just felt good one day, nothing significant happened. If anything, that day wasnt even thay good. But generally, I feel good now, but I still feel very alone. My friends have become distant to me. I'm also still very much in love with a girl that left me some years back. How does one overcome loneliness? One thing I did lose during depression was my ability to be able to connect with people.

Sir, if you please, give me the recipe for the Pisscunt, and i will gladly concoct it for you.

fernet is fernet. menthe is a mint bitter by the house branca!

this one hit me real hard

Loneliness is a eternal demon that haunts all of man. Many who attempt to overcome it find themselves instead absorbed by it, lower than they have ever felt. The only true way to overcome it is to accept it, but you must also keep yourself vigilant, which is where most fail, you must keep yourself awake and in fury in the darkest and most loathsome place possible.
Balance is the only way to kill the primordial sadness.
As Above, So Below.

NIGGER STOP FUCKING WITH MY VOLATILE TEMPER, YOU GODDAMN WELL KNOW WHAT IS PISSCUNT SO BEFORE I CROSS THAT COUNTER TO GIVE YOU VIOLENT ASS FUCKING, YOU BEST SERVE ME THAT GLASS BEFORE I UNLEASH MY TRUE FORM

My wife's boyfriend buys me vegan sandwiches every time he comes over for some fun with my wife. Cool guy!

let me get a bottle of artificial happiness

Dear Doctor Bartender, may I have large helping of depression ale and a bowl of salty burn-outs

Glass of apple juice. Coming right up

Might i suggest a Cuck-On-the-Rocks?

Bottle of Honningbrew Mead and the bowl of burn-outs for the fellow in the tophat

Bottle of DH-Happiness for the user fellow.

>I live in New Orleans and after Hurricane Katrina
>They had a fuck ton of stray dogs
>It was dogs that people abandoned when they left
>One day I was walking to the bus stop
>Heard tons of dogs barking and growling
>Looked in an abandoned house
>Momma dog was having puppies
>As fast as she had them other dogs were snatching them
>Eating them, fighting each other for the puppies
>The mom dog was howling and trying to fight away the other dogs
>I grabbed a fence post and started yelling and swatting at the other dogs
>My yelling got the attention of two guys who cleaning the house next door
>They came over and helped me get the other dogs out
>The grabbed fence posts and started knocking the shit out the other dogs
>The mom dog was all fucked up from fighting and giving birth
>The guys found one puppy that was still alive but injured
>He brought the puppy to the mom dog
>The mom dog you could tell was super happy
>She was crying the puppy was crying
>Then the mom dog stopped crying
>She died, the other dogs had ripped her open getting puppies out of her
>A few moments the puppy stopped crying it had died also
>The guys and I all started crying it was just fucking sad
>We dug a grave outside and buried the mom and puppy
>We layed a bunch of fence over the grave so dogs wouldnt come dig em up
>We drove fence posts to make double sure they wouldnt be disturbed
>One of the men a big black guy with tattoos was just balling crying
>He took a piece of cardboard and started writing
>He stuck the cardboard on on of the posts
>The other guy read it and he started literally wailing crying
>I asked them if they were ok the other guy just kept saying
>Read the post man, just read the post
>I walked up and read what he had written on the post
>It was very badly written, misspelled and backwards letters
>It took me a second to understand what it said but it said
>If you dont reply to this post your mom will die in her sleep tonight
>I took out my pen and wrote -dubs check em

Much obliged Doc, sing me a sad song and wipe the bar with a dirty towel.

Get.
The.
Fuck.
Out.
Of.
My.
Bar.
NOW

Jeez Doc, it's okay, give the poor guy a pint of Opulent Verbiage and a typewriter.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BAR BEFORE I RIP YOUR THROAT OUT YOU DEGENERATE FUCK

Like the dogs ripped the puppies out of the momma dog?

...

Gosh Doc, you're not a proper bartender - you're to ruffle some feathers, blow cheap cigar smoke at people and say wise things.
You need us here Doc, we complete you.

uuuuuuuhhhhh gimme 8 beers please

I'm not even the fucking bartender. Im just some sad cunt serving drinks.

Have a swig of disillusion rhum then, join the choir of down-and-outs.

Thanks friend.

Nobody has any sympathy for the bartender.

Give me a drink hard enough to kill me

But of course Joe, what would we do without you?
Have a Havanna cigar and some burn-outs.

Here's two pints of frozen gin, thrown at your skull from a good distance.
Have you written your last will and testament?

Bottle of Methanphetarum for you, good sir.

...

Iam 21, i have cancer in my throat. Know it since 3 weeks now. Didnt tell my parents, just a online friend. Dont know how to tell them. I dont want to fight, i just want to die. Iam planning to buy a camera, make a lots of pictures for my family so when i die, they have this pictures left.

Sorry for bad english

I am hoping to become a bartender myself. Learn the tricks and whatnot, always been my dream. Run a smalltown bar and learn all the gossip, rent a cheap 3 room apartment, buy a beautiful husky, and meet the most perfect girl.

We can all dream something. But only few truly live it.

Close enough to one

Ahh yes, a fine brew.

what is your country / language?

Sounds like a cozy, if sometime sleepless job.
I did some bartending for a prolonged period of time, there's not a lot of time for sleep.
It's all serving, cleaning, shopping, sleeping, serving, cleaning etc.
But I got good at making drinks.

Dont want to tell to afraid of Sup Forums hackers

Nothing a good shot of Kahlua cant fix.
Did you go to bartender school? i hear there's a place for that, but i have hardly enough funds for it.

Don't tell city just country so i can speak to you

Nah, it's learning by doing.
You can get most cocktail recipes online - and then it's just practice.
Decide what kind of bar you wanna make - have a few simple cocktails as not to overtax yourself.
Also, the more items means more quantity, less quality.

give me a double

I want to open a bar where you can order any kind of drink, but i know it would be extremely popular in my small town, plus i would need a good cache of money, say maybe 10K to at least get a business going and a shop set up. I would probably run out of some kinds of alcohol and not be able to serve them, which would break my heart and make the customer leave.

Make it a theme bar, which can then limit what kinds of alcohol you have, so you don't break your neck on keeping too large a variety stocked.
Start small - see if you can handle the workload, if it's fine, add to it.
You'll build a small but faithfull clientel.
It takes time, so be patient.

A double pan galactic gargle blaster for you.

Cheers, mate. Have a really shitty manual labor job, good pay but fucking exhausting, plus i get a good amount of free time, since i work mostly at night.

my father whom i havent talked to for 12 years died 3 weeks ago from kidney and liver failure after years of sickness. he was with his new wife, they had and lost a babygirl together. he lost his job somewhere along the road. he lost a lot of weight on the last picture i saw of him on fb on the night my brother amd i were called from the hospital by some relative and refused to talk to him. they said its final stage. i hesitated the whole afternoon to return the call or go see him, but i didnt. so the night i checked his wifes page too where she posted that he was gone.

i was flooded with sorrow for him and the disrupting feeling of missing my father (although he never was one to me) and although i never would have done anything different in this matter i somehow felt regret that i didnt help him get relief from the burden of our ill relationship because regardless of everything i know it hurted him.

i havent talked to anyone about this wholr thing. not a word. not with my mother not with my brother not with my girlfriend or any of my friends or even forum strangers. this is a first and last time.

the following morning i cried hours at work. since then there was one night i dreamt about my father, and i woke up to the sound of my own crying. luckily i was alone that night and didnt have to explain.

Just here to talk about how it sucks being broke. Getting my tax return in a couple days but right now I have less than a dollar in my account. Bills have been more expensive at the beginning of the year, and my job is barely making it doable. Damn manual labor I tell ya. Can't complain too much cause I can still pay bills, but had to sacrifice food. So, i'm living off handfuls of turkey and water for the next couple days. And smoking cig butts in the apartment complex garage that I can find. Cheers, gotta do what's expected of ya. Can't kill yourself cause cmon I don't wanna do that to my mother. Just living as medium as possible. Need a drink. Pretend water is whiskey. Stay lonely, boys. At least I have you.

Also, if anyones feeling generous
Paypal.me/EthanPotrykus

Double shot of the Ass-Blaster 2000, with ghost pepper and tacobell seasoning.

Best of luck user - I must dash, my people need me.

I think you'll be able to smile about this soon.
Cause that's life.
Glorifying death after its too late is never a good idea.

i have the same thing except i left the girl i love and i have another girlfriend who i also love but the latter is not the passionate overchemical burning. and i alienated all my friends. im lonely but i seldom mind it, im perfectly satisfied with friendjng coworkers. except after my last job change i have no such material i basically work alone..
but sports and studying new things language/skill help a lot.
and reducing drinking to the average level once a week and not getting stone drunk, and quitting smoking also helps.

but getting friends based on our interests as adults is something very hard as i see.
everybody has their old friends from highschool or uni and stick to them becahse they are used to it or remove themselves from the social sphere completely.

that was played masterful

i certainly will never smile about it. i became an atrisan at supressing my feelings of sympathy and condolence or compassion, because these feelings always took too many energy and power from me and i decided i cant afford it. im burying everything deep in me and me alone, keeping everyone else shut out and feeding fake details to those who would otherwise be worried about me. noone truly knows me anymore

The Japanese say you have 3 faces.
One you show to your world
One you show to your friends and family
And one you show to yourself, and it is the truest reflection of who you are.

Goodevening

HERE'S YA FUCKIN PISSCUNT YA FUCKIN WANKER

-dubs check em

Okay I enjoyed your shite.

Perhaps I can offer you find gentleman a tall glass of sorrow and remorse