S/fur train was slowed, not stopped. The ride continues

s/fur train was slowed, not stopped. The ride continues.

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manlet

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That's the hard part. Part of me does want to live and do things, but I rationalize it as being utterly meaningless with my nihilistic perspective. I don't feel as if doing things like working as a mechanic and going to school for it would bring me happiness as I know I need to strive for it, but don't have the motivation. I really just need someone to get me to do the right things, and convince me that it's worth it while I attempt to escape this nihilistic mindset. Basically, I just need someone I really care about to work with me so I can keep going. And for a time it worked, while I was out of my fucking mind on antipsychotics, but that person was a sociopath liar, and shit just went downhill. If I could find a person who cared about me and whom I cared about then I would be better, but that's also the hardest part. That's really why I'm so attached to Sunshine; She's an extremely kind, intelligent person whom I connect with, and if she pushed me enough to do the right thing then I would do anything for her. But I know that's a lot to ask for, and would stress her out more than she already is, so I don't push her. I'm just rambling at this point, but you get the idea.

Hey, Artyom. How's it going?

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Well, just had two horses that were dear to me put down this week, so kinda shitty. Beyond that I'm fine, just getting ass raped by chemistry homework.

How're you?

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Damn, I'm really sorry to hear that. I know that must have been really hard.

Eh, okay I guess. Definitely not great, but not as bad as I have been. Still dreading Valentine's Day though.

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oh boy, why're you dreading that? Story time?

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Valentine's Day is always the loneliest, most depressing day of the year for me. And now that Sunshine has a gf and says it's the first year she's been with someone on Valentine's Day, I've had to try really hard to keep my mind off that. I've also become an opiate addict, binged on an old bottle of hydrocodone my grandma had until it was gone, and stole some codeine and oxycodone from my dad, but felt guilty and stopped over a week ago. But being that I'm an impulsive addict, I stole more today to use on Valentine's Day since I can't drink myself into a coma. I feel kinda bad about it, but I know this really will be the last time since I'm going to switch to kratom. I just wanna get fucking high man.

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Eh, if she's not interested in you, she's not the right person. There are uplifting people out there, people who do want to save someone else.

Simple to say, not so easy to get the brain to accept, of course...

Though, the chances of finding someone who wants you and wants to help are better if you don't keep reaching for dynamite every time you hit the bottom of your personal hole, too.

Valentines day kind of throws a wrench in my plans to start approaching girls again. What do you think, would it seem desperate to approach right before or on the day? Plus it seems like too much pressure around this time of year since I have bad social skills and zero experience dating. I just want it to be casual so I can get used to the whole thing.

I know what you mean, but I've finally found love in furry chicks and I just don't mind anymore for the first time. Just ignore what day it is altogether and stay home and draw furry girls.

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holy shit dude, don't worry about it. Lots of people are alone on valentines, i've never had a valentine. It's not a huge deal. It's a fucking dumb socially constructed day.

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I dont get why the skitz40 wasnt upgunned to a 75

I could really use your help in the fb threads it's a tough battle

Yeah, I know. I just can't stop loving the only person I have ever truly loved for 3 years. I have done absolutely everything, and nothing has helped. It's only made it worse by pretending I don't love her because I really do.

It's hard not to when I don't really give a fuck about life.

I doubt it would make it easier, but if you play your cards right you might get a quick fuck. I wouldn't expect much else though.

I can't find interest in inanimate objects. I've tried to like furry girls, but I just don't really care. I want a real woman to love me, but I know none of them ever will.

Yeah, I know. I'm just a really emotional person even though I pretend not to be. I get lost in those lonely, depressive thoughts, and can't escape. Not even drugs make me forget, but at least they make me feel good for a short time.

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now this is sexy

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oh fuck

that's the thing with drugs. They will only make you better in the long run if used in tandem with professional guidance and help, otherwise, yeah, they'll just make you feel better temporarily. You'll be back where you started.

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here ill contribute

Can we get furrier please

feels thread?

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Never really understood fur, do people jerk off to this or is it just an art form. .?

is this furry?

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its bcz tails are sexy

I don't do hookups though, I just want to be dating.
I've fallen for Shakti recently. I definitely get feelings for furry girls.

have an inspiration

Ok, spammers. Line up!

furry!

k

That's a sexy Yamaha R1. I dig the stunt cage, I want one when I get my ZX6R 636.

The bad part is that I don't really want help, and recently have been thinking about saying "fuck it" and just start shooting heroin. I've wanted to OD and die from it for years now.

Fair enough. You could try Tinder or something. I've thought about it, but I let my anxiety rule me, so I don't and just tell myself it isn't worth it.

That is not how M2s work. The shells eject down to the right links eject down and when firing the barrel reciprocates. Oh also there is a tiger person shooting the gun, thats not real at all.

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well shit son
I hope someone who cares gets you help
otherwise it sounds like you're already doomed

Tinder is like the hookup app. I think apps make it harder unless you're really good at making a profile because there's just too many guys on them. Plus I bet I could find better girls in real life than on an app, but it's so stupid how closed off they are to meeting new guys.

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I pretty much am. No one even knows I'm an opiate addict because I am very sneaky, and don't talk about myself at all.

Very much true. That's also why I haven't tried, I doubt I'd find a woman who wants a long term relationship. Maybe one day I'll go to the gym and try to find me a big, stronk mama bear, but I know it won't happen.

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You have good taste.

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I've been there...twice, technically. Three years of emotional investment and relationship, and trying to let go of it. It hurts like a bitch, but...finding someone who relates to you and cares for you in return really will make all the difference.

Anyone else have ideas on this? I don't know what to do. What would a girl expect? Would she want valentines stuff or something, or is that just for people in relationships so she'd think it's creepy? I don't even have experience with regular dating as it is. Of course I don't even know if I'll get a chance, but just more things keeping me back this time of year.

Yes. Some people love it as art, some people jerk to it. As OP, I've done both.

It would, but I have no life and don't talk to anyone else, and only have 5 friends. None of them are girls because no girls want to be around me. Doesn't help that I have bad social anxiety.

Thank you, user.

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It just seem like the weeks pass by at uni one after another, and I don't even know how the heck anyone manages to get a relationship.

That's actually pretty good for irl friends. I don't have any close friends besides family. I just don't care enough unless it's a potential gf.

You haven't met the girls who might want to be. As for social anxiety...you've already got the best answer I ever figured out - nihilism. If nothing matters, then what you want in life is what matters. You have far more to gain than to lose by talking to someone, and if they blow you off? They never mattered anyway.

Yeah, also a good point. I have maybe six IRL friends, and a couple more acquaintances I feel comfortable around. At this point I've not really added to them since ~2000.

Confidence, showing interest, talking to people about what they like, going places, hanging out. Some just look to fuck so they flirt, and relationships happen that way like most college relationships which usually end shortly thereafter. It's not *that* hard, you just have to put yourself out there. I honestly could have a lot more friends and a girlfriend if I really wanted to as I was popular and likeable when I was younger, and for some reason being an uncaring asshole makes people like you, but I just don't care about being a social butterfly. I prefer having good friends that I can have meaningful conversations with, quality over quantity.

I'm the same way really. I only have 5 friends, but they're good friends I can rely on.

Yeah, not thinking about it and not giving a fuck is definitely the easiest way to handle it. But I'm really introverted and don't care much for small talk, so I don't seem very interesting and don't talk to people. Maybe I should though, if I weren't so depressed and apathetic.

Social anxiety is a feeling though, it's not logical. You can logically know you're smarter and it's stupid to feel it, but you still feel it. I've had it but overcome it. Now I think I'm just slow at making decisions sometimes.

I don't even know the line between friend or acquaintance.

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I'm an introvert. I read, I play video games, I work from home. In high school and college the only hobbies I had that involved other people were tabletop RPGs and Magic. There's got to be something other than opiates that interests you.

In my experience, at least, overpowering emotion with logic is the only way to go about life.

Acquaintances are someone you can eat a meal with, while you are also with friends, and not feel anxiety.

Friends are people you can stay up talking with until 3 AM about personal, political,and life choices, and enjoy the experience. Also the sort of people you'd let live with you when they need a place to stay, or would help pay their college loans so they don't default before they go before the state bar so they can get licensed to practice.

For me it's probably just bad social skills. You seem to know more about it than me. I've got the confidence, etc. I just want a gf without being a social butterfly, but that seems impossible. I've put myself out there but it just seems like so many things you have to get just right to get anywhere. Still worth trying though, if only for the confidence you can approach.

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I guess my family are my only irl friends then. I don't even know how to make new ones. Just tons of acquaintances.

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That's entirely possible. At 35 I haven't found many irl people who warrant the designation.

I should probably just live a solitary life and quit thinking about it. I go back on forth on this way too much.

I used to play video games, but they don't really keep my interest anymore. I like music, mostly metal, and play guitar but I favor my bass. I obviously like fast cars and motorcycles, and enjoy racing; drag racing particularly, but I like regular track too. Motorcycle racing has always been one of my biggest passions. I also love science, and used to want to be a theoretical physicist, but abandoned that dream because I know I would never be able to do the math required, and there aren't many jobs for it anyway. There are things I enjoy, I just don't pursue them. I don't feel like anyone would have much interest in the things I like either, so I don't really talk about them. I'm also an emotional vampire, and always have some depressing shit to say, so I keep myself away from people so they don't have to deal with it. I don't want to drag others down with me.

Yeah, I can socialize fairly well when I try, but I don't really have any confidence. I can feign it with apathy, but it doesn't fix it. Just keep trying, keep putting yourself out there and make yourself known. You'll find a girl eventually. Hell, I got girls' numbers without even asking because I was a popular asshole class clown, but never called them because I was already so depressed and apathetic. If you make yourself known then people will start approaching you rather than you them. Just takes practice and patience as with anything else.