I'm becoming invisible. I'm 48 years old, but still very much an angry teenager...

I'm becoming invisible. I'm 48 years old, but still very much an angry teenager, so I my interests are entirely different from those of anyone my age, and I have zero interest in discussing the things middle class men discuss: cars, jobs, finances, conservative politics, family, career, retirement, and other boring, "mature" conversation.

On the other hand, I now have half a century of life experience, and unless something has occured in the last two years, young people have absolutely no knowledge of it or interest in discussing it. Their "nostalgia" for things which happened 10 years ago feels like last week for me.

The net result is that I'm increasingly feeling like I don't exist. I'm ignored by both young and old, and excluded from everything. I notice when I comment on threads on Sup Forums, I'm completely ignored -- as I suspect this thread will be.

Well, let's see whether this 404s without a response. Let's call it a social experiment.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=ZcZcDHRGyOs
youtube.com/watch?v=IYj2hex99gY
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Jou sound like a jew, nagging

In English, now?

Do you have a family?

eh, age is mostly in your mind past 25.

I have two living grandparents(on my mom's side) that are both Korean War veterans who still act and play like they were in their 20's. Though their bodies may be old their minds are still young. They are both turning 87 this year and have been married for 64 years.

Don't let your age hold you back. I too feel like I'm fading into obscurity and I am getting antiquated but each and every day I try to do something positive, so that even in my loneliness and depression I could at least make someone else happy.

Listen to this.
youtube.com/watch?v=ZcZcDHRGyOs

Something about that time, and the small town they live in is all captured in a short acoustic song on a dimly lit porch in the early 60's. It just humbles me when I am feeling like I'm spiraling out of control or deep in the doldrums.

No. My parents threw me out on my ass into the street when I was 17 and told me they didn't like me as a person. There's no one who cares whether I'm alive or dead.

Jew sound like a jew, nagging

Better?

What do you like to do in your spare time? Do you have hobbies?

It's not about being held back. I've had an adventurous and non-traditional life. I just feel less and less like I have any place in the world because I'm completely ignored. I have no interest in people my age, and young people have no interest in me. I often contribute to threads here, as I have since Sup Forums first existed, but where there used to be a divergence of ages and interests here, now it seems mostly to be teenaged white suburban middle class boys who pay zero attention to anything or anyone which falls outside of their tiny bubble of interest.

confirmed for wanting/trying to get a really young GF

Sure, but they're... let's call them idiosyncratic. I've been feeling for years like the world is becoming balkanized and less interested in discussing or even recognizing things which fall outside their comfort zone. Even among people who share my interests I find people are less and less interested in challenging their biases or exploring tangential views.

It really does feel like becoming invisible. I got months now, sometimes, without talking to another human being. I'll go so long without talking out loud, two or three months, that sometimes I forget how and find myself croaking incoherently at cashiers instead of saying "thank you."

>The net result is that I'm increasingly feeling like I don't exist. I'm ignored by both young and old, and excluded from everything
Being the same age and similar views, I get that feel sometimes but imo its a lot of bullshit. Its natural middle age stuff plus economy and culture in a slump added in all the chaos of technology amd politics and everything else. I wrestle with it still but the answer is to demand more from yourself and life around you. You use your skills, experience and also money and power if you have them to make things happen for yourself. Live on your own terms, Brando. If you are doing it with vigor and class, you will develop some kind of social circle. My friends range from 18 year olds to 60 year olds because Im a freak too and idgaf, its my life and theres no standards for anything in the current year. Thats a good thing for people like us so live it up. Gray and neutral is no way to live at any age- you fuckn kno it

I'm asexual. I think that might be part of the problem. I've never had any interest in dating or romance or even close emotional bonds, so I don't have those links.

>I've had an adventurous and non-traditional life.

Sure. You've rejected responsibilities of adulthood and allowed yourself to enjoy your extra free time and income, but this was at the expense of your future. You've failed to create social networks by living a traditional grounded life and now you feel detached from the world.
You're the equivalent of career woman that sluts it up to her late 30 and then wonders where have the all the good men.

Rick get back to your old man's body and leave Morty alone!

I too have noticed that, but Sup Forums shouldn't be your main source of social interaction or personal connection.

I too have felt that I'd had an adventurous life(wrecked a 3 day old $90k lexus LS in 3 days of ownership and was a wildland firefighter), though I've felt like I've done a lot, seen a lot, I am not happy with who I am. I find solace in pleasing others.

Hitler once said:
“if you want to shine like sun first you have to burn like it.”

Though unpopular he has quite an inspirational story and had so much wisdom.

This gets me right in the feels
youtube.com/watch?v=IYj2hex99gY

Also this
You just deal with it. If you cant rail a 20 year old, be a character for them and bang their mom. You can complain about an overpopulated, chaotic world where nothing good and real matters-- or you can make it work for you. Just dont be 'that old guy' - limitations are there for good reason

ITT: Mother's basement dwelling motherfuckers.

Get a fucking life, spend time with your kids, oh, that's right, you have none, since you have never had pussy.

I've always lived on my own terms. Always. Part of the reason my own parents disliked me is because they said when they wished me good morning, I'd scowl and say, "I don't do small talk." They said it was charming when I was six, but had long since stopped being charming by the time I was 16. Odds are good that I'm probably somewhere on the spectrum.

I didn't so much reject them as I never had any interest in them. I'm asexual, so I was never going to have any kind of family life. Money and career sounded -- and continue to sound -- boring as hell, so I decided to use my life to effect change as a community organizer and occasional hobo. But I've noticed that over the last few decades, street life has become less about Bohemian alternative ways of living and more about mental illness and drugs

my old boss is like you

hes in hes 40s with the mentality of lets say a responsible 15-20 year old

there wasnt much problems with being around him, he was actually married and had a daughter, i dont even understand how. i guess hes doing something right. i guess you can do a lot of things right to make up for what u lack

the only thing annoying about him was that he would always say "happy friday!" every friday because he had nothing else to say and he knew he could say that instead. i dont really understand it but im the same way with some people

he would just buy things on amazon out of boredom sometimes.

the thing that was plainly obvious was that he lacked a father figure and sought approval from other males. it was strange to see in an older man. usually you only see that in younger males or people with severe problems

What are your interests then? Noone can help you based on your qqing alone

My interests are unique enough that if I discussed them you'd probably be able to identify me. Let's say my interests have been also of interest to the media from time to time, and haven't always been entirely legal. I posted Brando for a reason.

It’s always, at its roots, been about mental illness and drugs.
Are you the faggot from Canada with the pipe and pleather fedora?
If so, fuck yourself

Lot's of people your age feel that way OP.

And at least your posts just get ignored, my posts routinely kill threads dead. Watch, it'll probably happen right now.

getting old is a trip, ill give you that

You're probably too young to remember the days of crusties, but there was a time when street life was about more than just scoring the next rock. Sure, drugs and drink was part of it, but there was also a sort of philosophical counter-culture current about going your own way and a more authentic, closer-to-the-bone way of living.

That's largely missing now. The crusties have disappeared, and even the traditional brotherhood of the road, soaked in sherry, has also vanished in a sea of untreated mental illness and knifings over a five-piece.

Better yet, KYS and you won't have to worry

I see you. And I suspect you're ignored because you're capable of writing in complete, coherent, grammatically correct sentences. The current inhabitants of Sup Forums are viciously anti-intellectual and largely stupid.

The crust was the dried cum that stuck to your asshole

Help me understand why you're so worked up about validation when
A) You've been living a life rich with experiences.
B) You're not interested in what your peers are interested in.
C) Young people bore you.
Why aren't you focusing on A?

this cUnt.

try harder faggot

I'm not an americunt and I don't even follow my own country's news, so i highly doubt that. You fancy those midnight rum runs? Porngrind block parties? Maryjuini injections?

It's not about validation. I have a lifetime of very unusual experience to share. I've read an average of a book a day for the last 30 years, which means I've probably read in excess of 12,000 books. That's a broad base of knowledge. Yet I find that because my views are so outside the boundaries of what's regarded as "normal" that they slide right off without making so much as an impression. It starts to feel like I've become invisible.

Maybe it'll help if I give a practical example. Someone posted a thread a few hours ago asking what people think happens when they die. I contibuted some thoughts about ego death, the heroic dose, and the nature of self -- and was completely ignored.

Well shucks...

No need faggot, here you are a fucking middle life loser, with the feels because here doesn't get enough attention.

Boy, you certainly are dumb. You really think the person to whom you're responding, someone who doesn't use punctuation or even proper capitalization, is me? I mean, I know a zero-effort shitposter probably wasn't going to be Einstein, but you're especially dense.

you have to want and try to keep up with normie shit. its an ongoing pursuit to dumb yourself down

I'm more interested in real life examples rather than fucking Sup Forums posts. This is starting to look more and more like fucking fedora posts

At least i don't live in my mother's basement, while waiting for my 50th birthday

My mother's been dead for many years and my parents threw me out into the street when I was 17 -- which you'd be aware of if you'd actually read anything in this thread instead of just squatting and pinching out the self-loathing you project at everyone around you.

That literally sounds like you wanted validation and are disappointed that you didn't get it.
It's awesome that you're knowledgeable and you likely do have a lot to offer, but you can't let yourself get worked up over the fact that other people aren't responding to it, cause that's just something you can't control.

You want a real life example? Okay. I've had a long career as a community organizer. Activism is a young man's game because it's tiring, demoralizing, destroys your physical health, and forces you to live in destitution and constant risk of imprisonment. Most activists and organizers are young for that reason; they spend a few years in college being harder-core-than-thou and then it's off to their father's brokerage for an upper middle class life. As a result, the people I've been working with have stayed the same age even as I've gotten older.

A few years back I sort of retired. I disinvolved myself from some of the projects I'd been heavily invested in. I was offered my own small interview show on local television on the strength of my long media presence and the belief (which I shared) that a lifetime of organizing would get me a lot of interesting guests others wouldn't be able to access.

The show was all ready to go; we'd even designed the set. All I had to get was my first three guests and the show would be announced. And then I discovered that no one would return my calls. I'd spent the last 25 years working alongside these people, sacrificing my income and career and life for the welfare of others, and because I was no longer useful to them, I was now just some weird old guy who existed outside their social circles.

I had to quit the show and spent two years locked in my apartment without human contact, in deep depression. I eventually became homeless and moved to a new city to start over.

I’m nearly as old as your lamenting ass
Quite frankly, when you spend your whole life striving to be an outsider, don’t be surprised when normal society doesn’t accept you
They don’t have the same experiences, and have lived in a narrow scope

Hit a bong

bruh find a club

This is just terrible

I think it's the equivalent of the "just b urself" responses which drive the arcanines crazy.

I guess, but it’s even more retarted
I mean, what kind of shallow faggot says that shit

>lifetime of experience to share
>spent entire life reading about the accomplishments of better men
pick 1

Why? It's possible to do both. The idea that a person can be an intellectual or a man of action but not both is a very modern concept. In fact, for most of history, it was generally accepted that "gentleman adventurers" were both.

Well, it is a young persons game. And young people can’t grasp the concept that they too will get old one day. You know as well as I do those scenes are still infested with a high school mentality and that popularity is fleeting.
Anyway, come down to FL, we’ll hang out, maybe catch a show, and bitch about kids these days.
Unless you’re that faggot Canadian who smokes the pipe with the pleather fedora. Wouldn’t piss on your pretentious ass if you were on fire.

Cool, watch out for the Mr. Hydes, though

Plenty of people would have ended their lives over that shit, but you started over.
Maybe what you need is to learn to give yourself some due love, quit waiting for other people to acknowledge you. At least don't go looking for it on Sup Forums

It's got to do with time, man

I can read a book in two to three hours. If you don't watch television, there's plenty of time to read books and live a full life both.

I'm pleased with my own company and don't generally need anything from others. It's just being ignored continuously which gives a weird feeling of nonexistence, like no one can even see what I'm writing. It was probably a bad idea to create this thread. I was just feeling existentially absent, I guess, and wondering if maybe I really had stopped being.

Now I get why people don’t want to hang out with you

This surely can't be caused by a difference in values or interest, if they went around activating with you. If NONE of them answered, there's some kind of mystery going on. How can you be charismatic and interesting enough to warrant your own talk show, but at the same time be so utterly boring and uninteresting that no one will wanna come to said show, not even reply to the invite?

My guess is because he left that scene in a less than courteous manner, probably dumping a shitload of responsibility on someone

I'm not boring. Far from it. I'm just... outside the orbit of most people. Like I said, I've always suspected that I'm on the spectrum. I don't think like others and never have. I tend to come at things from entirely different angles. As a community organizer that was a huge advantage; I was the one who developed out legal strategies, for example, and the lawyers would often defer to me because I was very good at working out novel legal action which was just this side of kooky. Novel legal challenges are very dangerous because the system has everything to lose and nothing to win, so they're often willing to concede things rather than risk a roll of the dice in court with an irritating precedent to deal with afterward.

But that same outside-the-box thinking is less appreciated at a party, or during a meeting. I can't count the number of times when there's been dead silence after I suggested something like using the I Ching to evolve a gestalt of the room, and then tried to explain the way apophenia and projection works when I realize people are staring at me like I have three heads.

And no, I was the go-to guy. For a couple of decades I was the one everyone in the city came to when they needed something done because I was the one with all the connections and knew who had which resources, which people could be counted on for reliability, and where all the skeletons were buried. Once I was unplugged, my usefulness came to an end and I realized that I had been respected and valued... but not liked. At all.

Hey everybody.
Henry Rollins lurks Sup Forums
(But you shouldn't lie about your age, Hank. Everybody knows you're 58 NOT 48)

Nah, people actually like Rollins

Maybe you’re just too self important for your own good. I’ve been involved with the same shit you were, and I let that go as part of growing up.
Seems like you still have a lot of growing up to do, hiding behind intellectualism and convenient ideals is a great way to support a flimsy ego.
I did the same shit, left town with $50 to my name, and that was 12 years ago. Now I’m a respected member of the community, wife, 2 kids, house by the beach,basic normie hobbies, and I feel more fulfilled than I ever did.

Translation: You sold out.

this thread might as well be a radiohead album

Sold out or... Bought in?

You kids that bitch about sellouts are really just jealous of the success you know you'll never have.

Oww the edge. People on government assistance should be nicer to taxpaying citizens

Are you reading what you're writing though?
>I can't count the number of times when there's been dead silence after I suggested something like using the I Ching to evolve a gestalt of the room, and then tried to explain the way apophenia and projection works

I know you think blurting this kinda shit makes you seem cool and intelligent, but in reality you come across as pompous. I'm into music and culture less than a permille of the population have even ever heard of. I don't point this out on every occasion because I know people don't appreciate or understand my music. I modify and moderate instead.

This feels so true.

I can relate, OP, and I'm sure there are other anons that do too.

OP is roleplaying

You know what? Forget it. This thread was a bad idea. It's just making me more depressed. I don't think the same way you do, but you're never going to accept that any more than anyone else does.

This is why I just stopped talking at all and became a hermit.

It looks like something old Hank would post, but he probably wouldn't lie about his age.

OK so if you really were interesting and intellectual and have lots to offer in the way of conversation you wouldn't be having this problem.

Your problem seems to be that you're an insufferable know it all that people secretly hate because you have appalling social skills and don't know how to hold a conversation with people.

I don't even know you but based on this thread I can already tell that I don't want to be around you regardless of what you're interested in or know about. You seem like the kind of guy who would just bring the mood down at a party by his very presence. No wonder no-one would reply to your messages once you stopped volunteering, they probably didn't want you there in the first place but didn't know how to get rid of you.

Next time you join a group, maybe take some time to shut up and listen to people and instead of trying to add your contribution to a group try to appreciate what others have to offer. Listen to them and try to care about what they have to say, the only way out of this is to form relationships and to do that you need to learn some humility.

You say you have no interest in other people, when you're with them that shit comes across, they know that and that's why they don't care about you either. You can't go into a social situation and start spouting off all your woes and expect someone to give a shit when you dismiss anything they say as boring or irrelevant. From everyone else's perspective you're the boring and irrelevant one.

Its just getting old.
Im in my early 40s, kind of similar to you in that i didnt pursue marriage and i have little interest in it. It makes no sense to me and ive never really been interested in family or even romance.

The kids on here love talking about having kids until of course they have them and discover its a huge responsibility.

Hitting 40 means irrelevance for most ppl.

The millennials esp are really programmed to think a certain way. They are just obsessed with the dumbest shit imaginable which they think are cultural movements, like vaporwave.

For me its been esp weird because i dont look 40, which means younger girls try to involve me in various ways. It usually ends badly with me avoiding them.

What can you do really? Most ppl need to support a family but we dont, which makes for a certain unique if not anti social attitude.

Any personal thread on b is a bad fucking idea. I don't have any friends, never had a gf, not a single person I've ever met has ever liked the kind of music I do, I hate 90% of the stuff other people like, can't do small talk either, so we're probably pretty similar. I'm in a band now, that's why I was asking you about your interests. You need to look for similar minded people in the probable places.

Funny how I’m happier now than I ever was. I still enjoy a lot of the same things I used to, but I don’t let my past define me.
I realized a change was happening in my life, and instead of fighting it, I embraced it.
Call me what you want, but I’m content. There’s nothing like sitting down to a Sunday dinner your wife and you made together with your kids, having some nice wine, and then peace and quiet on the couch together after you’ve put the little ones to bed. Wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Whats wrong with vapourwave, its got some nice aesthetics and decent music. No better or worse than nu-metal, grunge, rave culture etc

More likely it’s Keith Morris

>I'm becoming invisible.
>I have zero interest in discussing the things middle class men discuss: cars, jobs, finances, conservative politics, family, career, retirement, and other boring, "mature" conversation.
then why do you care?

You sound like a schizoid. No one likes schizoids.

It’s emotional immaturity hiding behind intellectualism

Fucking trips speak the truth, stop being a faggot. I you wanna be friends with normies, do some normie shit

Im 46 and in the same situation.
Not much to do. Just accept the fact and take it one day at the time.

Holy damn
Checkd and game

I think he meant to say that you sound like a nagging Jew. I don’t really know why he thinks that though.

I can relate. Meaningful conversation will decrease with age until it ceases to exist, as you have already found out. Mature "parties" are a boring joke. Find one female on same intellectual wavelength. Don't make it about sex. It's not ideal.

Hey OP, you should read Steppenwolf or some Hesse in general and lighten the fuck up.

I am invisible too.

OP, have you read any Peter Carroll? Your mention of apophenia and I Ching in the same sentence made me think you might know him.

93s

Music can definitely bring people who'd otherwise never know each other together.

That and maybe DND/RPGs are good ways to meet people.

Sup, schizoid?

I don't discuss the fnords in public. 93

Same. Almost like I wrote this and just don't remember.

We [redacted] must stick apart after all.

Yep

...

winrar

maybe don't blame it on your age, Op. i'm of your era also, sometimes i get too much interaction here. maybe it's your bubbly personality

You need to put down the burden of anger you feel toward your parents. They failed you. Leave it in the past.