How would you commit the perfect murder?

How would you commit the perfect murder?

By making the person I want to die an hero.

I wouldn't.

I would create the perfect accident ;)

How would you make it look like one?

>Have a space rocket enterprise
>Have a car enterprise
>Build a rocket
>Promote my car company by launching a car into space with the body of the person murdered inside a spacesuit saying it is a dummie
>Broadcast the car on space live
>No need to spend any more money in promotion in my entire life
>Perfect crime

If you can't maneuver them to a good spot, you get some out of towners to just walk up and blast them, then drop the gun. Goes off without a hitch all the time.

Only real risk is they get picked up 20 years down the road and give you up instead.
If you CAN get them to a good spot, blast them, cut them up, freeze parts for different lengths of time, extract and smash the teeth, burn the finger prints down to the bone, bury the parts in different states, each with a sapling planted above.


To get a slam dunk murder case, you need a murder weapon, a witness, and a dead body, so you're trying to fuck with as many of those as you can.

nice

Pay someone to do it

With dynamite

That is a lot of time with the body, not to mention a lot of moving incriminating evidence.

Assume a random victim. Why not be the person with the gun yourself?

Lol you're stupid

this

Google untraceable bullets.....

>googling stuff related to your crime

I would ensure every superficial aspect of their life was perfect: a happy marriage, bright and dutiful children, a great job. Any potential problems would be wiped out at my hand, all to present to my victim and the world the illusion that all is fine.

No, not fine, fantastic in fact. Anyone observing my victim would agree they led a charmed life. Then, at the end?

Death from old age in their sleep.

Absolutely no one will suspect a thing, the perfect murder...

>Wait out in the woods, wait for a late-night jogger to come by.
>Pull trip-wire tight so he/she falls
>Jump out, knock out with crow-bar to the head
>Stab whereever makes people die the fastest while creating the least mess
>Drag body away from roads or trails where I'll have trashbags ready
>Cut up into portable sizes.
>Have marked out all the fox and badger dens in the area
>Scatter pieces for foxes and badgers to find and eat infront of burrows
>Throw some more pieces into local wild boar pen.
>Cleave flesh from hip and femurs and other big bones, bury everything in separate holes.
>Separate Head, bury it somewhere where really no one could ever find it
>Throw away gloves whiles biking back home
>Avoid that area of the forest for a while since that's where police will start looking first
>Come back in a year or so to recover skull
>Decide whether I can risk keeping it somewhere as a trophy
>If not, shoot some portable animal, create a pagan altar and arrange skull, and innards to look like some maccabre occultic ritual a la blair witch e.g. using guts to make a pentagram
>Leave for unsuspecting forest-visitors to find
>Scour news media for stories that some sick satanic cult has sprung up and going for a walk in the forest has been ruined for everyone for all times

Wear a rain coat and stab someone on a running trail. Take off the bloody coat and put in a walmart bag with the weapon and jog away.

pretty much this but burn the clothes and throw knife in ocean

If it's legit random, no reason.

But generally you have a reason to pop somebody, and detectives like shit like "motive" when they build a case. So you being somewhere with a camera and a timestamp when the guy gets shot is a little bit of a big help to you.

Which part? I can't wait to pick your brain, I bet you've done soooo many more than me, right?

I could never murder someone cause my background would make it obvious, but DI water will kill someone if they drink enough (maybe a liter), also diethyl mercury. You can also just put severe carsnogens in their food I guess, but then it will take a while, but don't kill people user

Wait for hobo on tracks and stab them and throw body on moving train , clean blood on rocks with water or shit and never see him again , but if girl rape first (with confom so I don’t get aids or shit)

The hell kind of throwing arm do you have that you can throw a bloodied 50 kilo woman onto a moving train?

I just can't figure out a way to get to and from the scene without minimizing potential witnesses.

I would create a fire tornado and turn the person to ash

Thing to realize is that - given a legit random victim, and random scenery, you actually don't have a lot to fear from a witness, unless you're a dumbass and you got a lot of visible shit.

Who'd you see? Oh officer, I saw a guy of average height, average build, wearing nothing special, no tats, no purple hair.

There's nothing there, that's the fucking phone book. Eye witness is really, really unreliable regardless, especially when a loud gun just went off.


Just don't be a retard and drive to and from in your own car, in case someone gets a plate, and you'll be fine. Wear gloves, etc. You already know what to do.

if you have hogs, do it on a rainy night and dont feed them for a week. they eat anything including humans and bones.

Unless you are next to your home you have to get back to your vehicle somehow.

Park near a bike trail and jog back? Might get cut off if the police are coming from the same direction.

Park along the trail a fair distance from the site? An out of place vehicle would get noticed.

You're thinking of shit that needs the police to already be pursuing you in order to happen. If they're already on you, you're fucked, blast some pigs and save the last one for yourself.

You want to get away with murder? Shoot black people.

You need to be black first, otherwise its big news.

Cat fish someone and then break them enough to an hero them self.

What do you mean? I thought this was how you keep the police from getting onto you.

By being my victim.

Elon pls go

...

Murder-suicide that way I never get in trouble

Yeah, and they're not going to be chasing you, but shit like "might get cut off if the police are coming" kind of injects that into the scenario.

>be super rich billionare
> kill guy
>"test a heavy rocket"
>put sportscar in it
>"lol manniquin, star mand lol"
>put dead body in suit"
"lol space boi dead

I'm trying to weigh parking far away enough with reaching my vehicle before the police arrive to respond to the gunshot.

Let's just say it wouldn't be my fault if my victim....
....trips
;)

nice try, fbi

stab with ice sickle

Don't use a gun! guns leave evidence. use a knife.