Feels thread

Feels thread.
I'll start since its my thread
>Have shitty childhood
>22
>In college
>Good job, great career
>Great gf that loves me unconditionally.
>good friends that genuinely care about me.
>feel nothing but loneliness and emptiness.
>smoke and drink to fill the void
>try to forget past traumas
>can't sleep because nightmares
>too proud to admit theres a problem or ask for help.

how are you 22 with a career

Good grades in college and solid experience.

29 y/o, school, career, etc etc.
Last ex dumped me two years ago. Gained weight, got fat, life is garbage. etc etc.
You're never alone, man.

my man. this is good.

Thanks, sad user. I always try to tell myself that i have no excuse to feels this way. But that always makes me seem more pathetic.

The person I wanted to be with through everything in my life is terrible to me. He blocked me on everything after leaving me by myself while I was having a psychotic episode. "Don't kill yourself" that was the last thing he said to me before he left. I haven't talked to him since, but a part of me knows that of he came back I would accept him even though I know he doesn't love me like I love him. I can't work somedays without constantly checking my phone, just hoping that he will message me. I just want to hear his voice, hold him, be with him. I want the person I loved more than anyone back. But he is never going to come back. He consumes my thoughts on most days.

I get that, in a way. My mother is in a similar perdicament when it comes to my father. They were together 20 years and have been divorced 5. He remarried almost immediately.

go to therapy in secret.

What are your traumas? this is Sup Forums, lay it on us.

is this the tranny/trap from yesterday?

>tfw going bald

Not as bad as some of you, but this kind of sucks. Especially since I can't really get that good a beard too so I'll have to rock a shaved head and clean face eventually. I'm going to be ugly as fuck.

Nah, I was born with a vagina and I didn't post yesterday

It's the worst when they seem unaffected, and you are absolutely torn apart.

They are numerous, I'll warn you now.
>Abusive alcoholic father
>older brother provoked him to protect us.
>guilty that i couldn't do more.
>have major accident at 9, 21% of body is burned 3rd degree
>traumatized, terrified of hospitals now
>parents stay together for the kids until 16
>guilty for wasting 16 years of their lives
>move out after divorce
>become homeless until 18
>steal, sling drugs, and fight for money
>guilty for hurting people i knew.
>cant forgive myself for it
>get rescued by old childhood friend
>guilty for relying so heavily on him for essentially saving my life and giving me a chance

sadly, meeting the right person for you doesn't mean you are the right person for him/her. i guess this happened sometime soon. wait a bit you'll stop thinking about it. get a hobby that includes interaction with people in any sort. even if you decide that your hobby is masturbating go to porn events and shit just to not get lost in your thoughts. trust me

Just as bad when they treat you like a weapon against one another.

What career is it? I'm a high school student and need advice on - everything so please add me on discord:

ghosty#1254

PLEASE.

Anyone- anyone doing decent in college add me... PLEASE P l e a s e

good for you, if you had that shit all planned out. I'm 23 and it looks like a long dark road ahead for a stable situation

you can achieve everything that you want if you put yourself to it man. yes you do rely on your friend right now but if you work hard enough you won't have to. be forever grateful to him but he isn't your owner for saving you. it's a choice he made to make a good deed. when you become successful repay him in a way you think is right. if you keep relying on him that's your fault for not trying hard enough. you wanna ditch the shit behind you? work on it. nobody can help you if you can't help yourself

But it feels so wrong to have a futute like this. I dont feel like i deserve it. Not that it was given to me, but all of my instincts tell me its wrong to... I dont even know what to describe it as.

we would have been amazing friends.

Hope you did something back for childhood friend. The rest seems very common in the realistic world. there is always a place to talk about it. BUT talking about it might give away your manhood. talk about it in private or only once. My english sucks and i cant go into detail as what i want to say. but you seem like a good bro, would share drink.

What's your poison? Tonight its rum for me.

You are a sad person. Not saying that in a way to mock you. i can relate and i'm very sad at times even though i have been trough less and worry, stress and feel bad for many, many things that felt like i shouldnt have gotten even though i dont really do people harm.

Hes great. Truly. He gave me a job so i could quit slinging and finish high school. And the greatest repayment i can offer him now is to graduate college which is highly likely. But later down the line id like to do more.

Actually, i havent been drinking for quite some time. i get very fucking sad thinking of my problems but i just go with it. i try not to bother others with it even though they are affected when around me.

It's 5 AM, i'm done with editing my work and gonna go to bed in 10.

Him and I shared a lot of similar interests, I'm scared to go out and be places that we used to go, for fear of seeing him. The last time I saw him in public he had already blocked my phone number. It was a rave, I really didn't expect to see him there. The instant I saw him I started to freak out, now I panic when I'm going to those places, I don't go to raves anymore, I feel like a coward. I search for him like he'll magically be there, I worry, I panic some more, I stay home instead a lot.

that's the right way to go about things like this. even though i don't know you i know you will choose the right decisions and will stay on the right road from here on. good luck :)

I only wish i could grow a beard instead of the pubes i call facial hair. We will have full and lucious beards one day. We must believe.

I get that. My girlfriend is very hurt when i become distant and cant swallow my pride enough to talk to her. I want to open up but i dont want to put this shit on her.

feelsbad. i can relate. been an ongoing thing for 2-3 years now. been with plenty others but this person left a scar.

Being in a relationship means you have to be able to tell eachother absolutely everything. this can harm and or cause problems in the future.

You not talking about your problems in the first place can really hit a toll and fck you up mid 30's or even early 30's.

you like him because you see the similarities in between you. that's a big problem because having similar interests with someone doesn't mean it will be good to be together. but the things he's doing are hurting and are going to keep hurting your life emotionally. don't stop going out. this is the greatest mistake that you can do in times like this. it's not a coincidence that people in movies take their friends to a stripper club to forget a bitchy ex. go out meet new people. he's not the best and there are other people just like him. just do stuff don't close yourself in your own mind prison and you will prevail as stupid as it sounds

I hate the way i am. And anyone who catches on to it i instinctively push away. Like in my mind, im not a charity case and i dont need your pity. Ive been saved enough times and dont need again.


Deep down i know thats not true.

i'm out bro, keep ya chin up. you have already did wonders and most likely do a good job at whatever it is you're going to love doing.

Here, have this picture. for some reason it cracks me up.

I wish I could believe the things people say to me, that it'll get better, that I will find someone else, that I am better off without him. But everything hurts, and the thought of telling someone else I love them makes me sick. I really feel like I loved him, more than I thought I could. I can't get him out of my head, the only thing that helps is just exhausting myself until I can sleep, or buying stuff because it makes me feel a little better for a few moments. I feel so desperate and helpless. I hate the fact that someone that doesn't care about me has this much control over me.

SNAP OUT OF IT. PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER. FAGGOTS.

I know that. But its not easy to turn myself inside out and let others see whats inside. One of my greatest moments of shame occured 6 months ago when i got drunk and let her in. I cried in her arms for 3 hours. No one has seen me cry in 6 years.

maybe all that is superficial what's really important is how you are on the inside. I mean nutritionally, toxicologically, and organly. if your shit is fucked up internally then it doesn't matter what's happening externally. And often times the opposite is also true

Thanks bro. Giggled/10

>moved around a lot
>Dad left the family
>Live alone
>High school girlfriend dumped me
>Derailed all my progress
>Regress from an adult to a child
>Go to college
>Never try, don't care, dead inside
>Hate seeing people my age happy

" I hate the fact that someone that doesn't care about me has this much control over me."

Yep. Time will make it fade away. just give it a lot of time. Don't go out there and throw yourself on random people, will only make things worse. i have done it, my friends(girlfriends too) have done it, none of them got the best of it.

Here, a comfy picture. go find family and cuddle a bit on the couch to feel less alone. and make sure to improve on yourself.

My situation is pretty much the opposite
>Have a great childhood
>22
>In college
>No job
>No gf
>No friends
>Feel nothing but loneliness and emptiness
>Too proud to admit theres a problem or ask for help

Just different routes to the same destination I guess

wow I'm cured thanks so much user you really have a way with words

Hold it together, bro. Try not to place the blame on others. They didn't do anything to you.

Gonna start off light

What's up, I just drafted my suicide note. Not gonna do it tonight but it makes me feel better to get it all out. Have a depression meme

Thats why we're here, no? Just to suffer.

This isn't like, I've liked people before. I feel like I enamored myself with him. I would do anything to be with him. People tell me not to devalue myself, and that he wasn't worth it and this and that. He was all I ever wanted, I hated other guys, I only saw him, I was ready to be with him for as long as I was alive. Most people lose that spark, that feeling after a while, but I only fell deeper for him. I had no clue there was even anything going on when he told me he wanted to separate.

Not yet, user. Now is not the time. Give it one more try. For me?

What is therapy? You should do it.

Hey user, there's nothing wrong with crying. For what it's worth, I'm a girl and I think guys should really be more encouraged to express their emotions. It's shitty that you're all told to hold everything in all the time. It's okay. You can let it out if you need to.

Too afraid of doctors. Cant let anyone that close. Ive tried.

Now is not the time, you're right. Maybe it won't ever be. I don't have a date set or anything. But it was nice to get it out of my system.

well to keep it 100, i saw that was where my life was going as a senior in high school. All my friends were headed the college, office, suburban upper middle class route and i didn't want any of it.

Part of it was not being able to deal with seeing my life's course all the way to the end, but it was also not wanting a life i knew would make me soulless and miserable. So i went out and travelled and bummed around for a year and started a major i was unsure of, and am gonna graduate this semester. But now i kinda wish i could go back to that life i deemed "soulless", now that i've seen just how bad life can get.

I already experienced some hungry cold shelterless nights before. But that was for the sake of experience itself. Now i think it's gonna be for real.

It does take a while to diverge and reverse the path our parents set forth for us however, so maybe i am making an entirely new way for my future family

Thanks, user. At least we can be miserable together. And who know maybe tomorrow will be good. Or something like that.

Therapists aren't doctors (usually). Psychiatrists are doctors.

You can shop around for therapists. If you don't like one, try another before opening up. I went to three different ones before I found one that I felt comfortable opening up to dealing with shit from the military.

Maybe tomorrow will be good. Here's hoping

There is much more to it than just being a man. My friends see me as a leader. Someone who has it together and deals with shit. I can hardly bear the shame of the disappointment they must feel for looking up to someone that weak.

These kinds of threads almost always make me feel better on nights like these. It's cathartic just to talk it all out with strangers, listen to their thoughts and express mine. There's something so safe in the anonymity; knowing that we're all complete strangers, that we'll probably never meet. But for tonight, we're here to talk and get through things together.

If you’re not retarded: get into a top 10 CS undergrad program, pay attention in class, do at least an hour of interview prep (coding challenges) every day, apply to 200 summer internships every year (until you have experience), and you’ll be able to coast with six figures right of undergrad.

If you’re smart, do the above but you don’t have to try as hard.

If you’re retarded, do the above but work harder.

>had a good homelife as kid, but absolutely zero friends
>ever
>zero friends train continues all the way through high school
>kind of knew some people but we were all weirdo faggots who banded together out of desperation
>only people i was genuinely close with were homeschooled, only saw them maybe once a month
>that has now gone down to once every few months because they go to a college like two hours away
>not even super close with them, just known them for a long time
>consistently get kicked out of online communities for things out of my control
>drifted apart from the only girlfriend i actually loved years ago, still think about her all the time
>always had some mild mental problems, but in the last few months they've gotten massively worse
>dissociating longer, more frequently
>dreams are almost always really dark and disturbing
>afraid to sleep
>paranoid about everything, too tired and apathetic to actually resist any of it
>don't trust doctors, psych is a bullshit quack field
at least i have a decent job and solid immune system, eh?

You're a militarybro? What branch? I'm actually an army reservist. Im partially afraid that seeing a therapist could get me seperated.

Cheers, user.

>dont trust doctors psych is bullshit quack field
This

Oh god, crying doesn't make you weak. God no. I've seen my dad cry, and if anyone has his shit together, he does. Crying doesn't make you weak. It's a biological response--helps get rid of the stress hormones and all that shit--just like sneezing or yawning. It's okay if you're not comfortable crying. I'm not saying you have to do anything. But I will assure you that if Captain America can cry, your response to emotion does not make you any weaker or less of a leader.

Marines.

They can't report anything unless they think you are going to hurt yourself or others. If you go to a therapist, they can't prescribe anything. It's literally just someone talking to you and helping you find healthy patterns of thinking/coping mechanisms.

You can still lose your job, and your health is guaranteed to decline.

What else you got?

Thanks, femanon. It means a lotbthat you care enough to try to break the stigma. But like too many other men, im too stubborn and stuck in my ways.
I have never viewed other men crying as weak, just myself. It is just too much of an unforgivable display of vunerability.

i've been in that kind of relationship i know exactly what you mean and i also know how devastating this could be. i can't get you out of the position that you are but i just want you to know that staying at home, alone with your thoughts isn't going to do you any good. the girl i was with dated one of my friends after we broke up for about half an year. in that time she kept saying that she loved me and in the end it turned out she was seeing another guy that i met her with. cheating on her boyfriend (first guy) with this (second) guy. and yet 2 and a half years later i still think how my life would've been better being with her. as you might feel this doesn't seem right to hurt myself like that, so why you do it? you might not accept what im telling you now but at one point you'll say to yourself damn this user was kinda right. even if you succeed to get back with him things won't be the same. the magic won't be there. if you want to keep talking on this i can give you discord or sth

I’m in my 3rd year of undergrad, and I’m starting to feel this. Objectively, my life is great, and I’m on track for a successful career. From my perspective, I’m on a track to a meaningless existence and a death with many regrets.

I’ve never really felt this way before, so I’m just pushing on hoping it’ll all go away and I’ll be able to appreciate what I have and be happy. I’m afraid throwing it all away would make my life harder.

We’re young, though. No matter how hard life gets, there’s always time to figure out how to make it enjoyable.

Truly? Its very nervewracking to imagine being unfavorably removed from the army. I dread the thought.

That's okay. If now isn't the right time for you to work through this thing, then it's not the right time. If it isn't ever the right time, that's all right. But take care of yourself, okay?

Thanks, again. Ill try harder to take care of myself. And ill also try harder to let things out.

>Have shitty childhood
>In college

yeah you're an entitled little cunt.

Don't worry about it. Just don't say you're suicidal, homicidal, or plan to do anything illegal. They won't share your file. Get the help you need, m8.

You got this. Do what you need to do :) I hope you have a good rest of your night/day, user

>not enjoying the night terrors as a free psychedelic trip

I never used psychadelics much. My main thing was adderol.

you can be broke in your twenties. Your thirties even.

You do NOT....want to be old and broke. You don't want to be 50 and broke. 60 and broke...

Ill admit, suicide has been on the table in the past. But too many people have been touched by me. And i couldn't accept defeat like that. Im too proud to go out by my own hand.

>20
>Ugly
>No friends
>In college, hate it, wish I'd gone to trade school
>Questioning sexuality/gender--not sure if FTM trans or just a dyke
>ADHD so I can't concentrate on a fucking thing
>Had to drop my last shrink and can't find a new one
>Never asleep
>Always depressed
>Suicidal but too much of a pussy to go through with it

Having a great life yall

You all need to meditate. Your suffering is born in the mind, until you realize this you will be stuck there.

I can relate to most of you, and I can tell you from experience that a meditation practice when done correctly can help tremendously.

There is a way out but you have to put in the work. If you are unwilling then have fun dealing with this shit until you get old and die.

Post your discord and I'll add you

dreams are meant to be learned from. yes I've had plenty of nights waking up in a cold sweat with my hear about to give out, but I've always learned from them. it's your subconscious trying to help you problem solve your life

I agree in theory but meditation is hard as fuck

Im glad we could all come here and share our pains and console one another. As shitty as it sounds, its good to know that im not the only one suffering.

Good shit on that. Suicidal thoughts are normal, but ideation and plans are what can get you institutionalized.

You never know how powerful talking to someone completely confidentially can be. It can lift a lot of weight from your shoulders.

tits pussy and timestamp or gtfo you role player

Yeah, agreed. My attention span is shit so trying to focus on something like that for very long freaks me the hell out

Absolutely.

That's not shitty. It's okay to be glad you're not alone. You're not wishing suffering on any of us; we're here because we're already in pain. Welcome to the feels thread. I hope we can help your day be a little less shitty.

You have to strengthen your concentration. It takes time and effort. Think of it like a muscle, it's very weak at first, but the more you lift, the stronger it gets. It's the same thing. Meditation isn't a quick fix,.

Very few people are close enough to know about that part of me. Even my gf has never imagined i could think like that. Its best to keep it that way. She doesnt need to feel the burden of my shame.

Denislav PRayer*#2450

My roommate's home, but if it makes it more ~realiztic~ to think of me as a dude, then so be it, just cut the trans/dyke shit and the rest of it is the same and it still hurts

I'm sorry to hear that, user. For what it's worth, it's never too late to switch schools. And as a fellow depressed ADHD-haver, I feel that shit. It's okay to be questioning and it's okay to want change. I hope you get some comfort soon

>in college
>great career
AS A FUCKING STUDENT?

does your roomate follow you into the bathroom? not hard to post proof. go roleplay somewhere else.

Thank you, I needed to hear that I think. It's definitely too late, I graduate next year. I just hope I'll be able to get back into treatment and get back into my life

>im a sad "woman"
>i cant get men