What would you do if you had a stopwatch that stops time?

What would you do if you had a stopwatch that stops time?

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I'd probably order a pizza.

finger people

i would freeze time for my entire life and simply eat beans. each fart would be strategically placed in front a different persons nose. three breaths before my dying breath i would unfreeze time and laugh as everyone inhales my rancid misty fart gas. then die happy.

>make time stop
>time stops
>can't do shit cause time has stopped

Take out the trash in the US and around the world.

came here to post this.

Cuddle a girl

...

...

I'd stop time during one of Donald Trump's live speeches. I'd very carefully, neatly, shave off his eyebrows, clean up any shaving cream that might have splattered, and then start time back up to enjoy the show.

Then again, shaving Trumps eyebrows off is my fetish.

Stop by at a bank, raid vaults.

Rape a lot of women's

I was gonna molest women but your plan seems way more interesting

You don't need a stopwatch that stops time to have sex with a woman who just lays there stiff while you grunt and sweat all over her struggling to make her feel something.

Just get married.

Steal shit, especially from pharmacies.

workout, stretch, find some weed

I'm engaged.... I wouldn't Mind see her get raped too.

Arthur C Clarke once wrote an odd story about a thief who had been given a time-stopping ring and told to steal as many art treasures as he could get his hands on.

he ran into another thief he knew slightly, doing the same thing, and they compared notes while time was stopped; they decided the people who'd given them the time control rings were aliens, and after they'd handed over all the art treasures, they noticed that the sun had started to go nova. if they turned the rings off, they'd be vaporized.

the man is in the top of the boat faggot, man your wife is gonna leave you

Steal money/valuable items to later resell even basic necessities basically dont pay for anything don't need to register. I would see every single woman I want to nude since neet, take pictures and blackmail them for fun. I would do general stupid sexual shit and then just dick around

Use it obviously

Dumb ass

and get arrested because of DNA. :/

find girls with cute feet and suck on their toes

My god. A useful post on Sup Forums. I haven't read anything by Clarke in years. Sounds like one of his earlier short stories from the fifties. I'll have to look it up. Thanks user.

Good thread OP

Sorry? I live in a country where we have cars and things, and boat travel isn't really a big part of our culture anymore, so I'm not sure what you mean. In any event, I'm not married. If I were, the term faggot wouldn't really apply very well, and your entire statement seems a bit hasty and poorly thought out. Nice to see they've got internet access in your village though. Congrats on that.

Go around and steal exactly $20 from everyone.

Rape.

Steal $19.87. Leave change. More fun that way.

Rearrange the furniture in people's houses and alter other details to make them think they're going insane.

make money and fuck bitches.

>sleep in
>find casino
>loot money and chips
>when time resume
>cash in chips when casino gets money again.

There's more to living that sex and wealth. Pranks would get old too. The question is, while time's stopped, what is there to do? I suppose most machinery would stop working, the internet would stop working. Would simpler things still work? Could you, say, pause time for a while and teach yourself violin, or piano? Do you continue to age during these pauses? Do you continue to digest food and require sleep? These sorts of factors would make all the difference.

Listen to the song "First Date" by Blink-182 while running away from French Stewart.

>Become porn star with average size dick
>Be ok with what I got
>Ability to freeze time
>Right as money shot happens
>Freeze time
>Beat off for an incredibly long time.
>Just drench this whore in fucking jizz
>Continue time
>Be known as the guy with the worlds largest cum shot and kill every whore through drowning

I would fuck women that think their shit don't stink. I'm talking top tier sexiest women on earth type of females. I would cum in all of them too.

slash tires of random motorists on the highway
piss in people's drinks right before they took a sip
go to political rallies and feed the male candidates viagra before they gave their speeches
put small animals in women's vaginas
switch people's cash with monopoly money at walmart as they stood in line
put ice cubes down people's socks
draw dicks on people's foreheads
whippits
change people's clothes with clothes that looked exactly the same but a slightly different color
appear behind people as they looked into the mirror, then disappear when they turned around
move shit around in people's houses when they're in the bathroom
replace restaurant salt with ants
find people having a conversation, take hair from one person, put in other person's mouth
collect jars of sweat and douse people's asses while they're sitting
put lipstick marks on men's collars as they walk up their driveways
inject people with heroin at random
go to plasma centers, find clean samples, add HIV
go to the CIA and redact files at random
go to prolific actor's houses, collect their semen, put in my asshole and call the cops
probably rape small children

So basically, this:

Welp

I'd just push the button, stop time, and throw the watch away. I think we've all had enough.

It never gets old. I don't give a fuck what you niggers say and I'll never change my opinion

Undress, fap to, maybe rape all 10/10 sluts I encounter. Put them back where they were so they don't expect a thing. Also steal lots of money and cool clothes+entertainment+computers not logged in department stores yet. Stalk girls I'm into.

kidnap kids with time hax and lock them into the houses of people I hate

A fucking madman
>a fucking hero

>be at work where people know that I'm there
>stop time
>go somewhere else
>cum on womans face
>go back to work and resume time
>woman doesn't know how cum got there and I have proof I was somewhere else at the time

>dat alibi

definitely.

you underestimate the power of #metoo

>find one of those super homophobic type manly men
>stake him out for a couple weeks til I know his schedule
>go into his room every morning just before his alarm goes off and leave a dildo in his ass
>don't fuck with anything else
>watch him question his sexuality

Hard to find it believable when you were at work the whole time.

I'd read this book

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fermata

> DNA
case

better solution:
find an area with some farms, kill her, dump body in offal pit
nobody ever empties those things

filling coffin with cement and dropping in deep lake also works

I would spend the rest of my life going around a specific city or town freezing time and impregnating as many women as i could daily until several years down the road the town/city is filled with my offspring... for the lulz

>it's not physically possible for me to be in two places at once
>investigators can't figure out how I got miles away in such a small time frame
>I'm on camera somewhere else at time of incident
>hurr durr dna
What's it like being retarded?

DNA alone would ensure a conviction, assuming your DNA is in the database, they probably wouldn't know to investigate you though, so long as you went far far away.

>evidence shows that you were at a different location during the same time of the incident, perhaps over a hundred miles away

still doesn't explain how one was able to travel such an extreme distance within a second or two

Stop time. Take shit. Eat. Wait. Take shit on top of my shit. Repeat until I'm on top of WTC 7 with a stack of shit reaching the top.

My dna is literally in thousands of places I've never been before, and in hundreds of peoples homes that I've never met or been to either. Just because dna is somewhere it doesn't make a case for something happening.

distances doesn't matter, alibis and camera presences are just one piece of information in the courtroom. DNA would be logged, meaning if you fuck up or it is taken at some point in the future, you'll be flagged.

Steal money live happy

only true way to rape someone

If time was frozen you'd not age stupid

I'd break it because if I stopped time how could I start it again? Or do you mean I would someone exist outside of time?

You're right. There was a case of some guy getting jailed because his DNA was found somewhere in the US. Thing is, he never went there and was in Spain the whole time. DNA is not 100 percent unique to each human and mistakes can happen. The police dont care about that tho

...

....stopwatch starts again. Don't be an ass and use your comment sense you fucking mongaloid.

I wouldnt press it, how would I unfreeze it?

>be you
>some faggot that lives in a third world country
>in some place on the other side of the planet, police find the cum soaked body of a homeless man with a bleeding anus dumped in a town square
>just so happens to be your dna the man is covered in
How do you think investigators would deal with such a case knowing there's no possible way for you to have done such a thing?

Actually kill myslef because then my family wouldnt suffer the consequences of my suicide.

Nope.

Every single spot of a casino is covered by a camera somewhere so the next day the video of casino chips literally breaking physics and disappearing from earth will Go viral.

what. the fuck

It would probably accidentally break eventually and I'd be stuck with everyone frozen until I died like in the Twilight Zone episode.

If a stopwatch can freeze time, you theoretically exist within a temporal bubble where time moves at the same rate as it would outside of the bubble. You age. Technically, you age faster because you're bending spacetime.

t. brainlet

pause time forever and kill myself. fuck this gay universe

your crime will haunt a hardened, female cop who was raped. She will spend the rest of her life obsosessin about how you came on a woman miles away while remaining at work the entire time.

You’re crime will disrupt the very fabric of US law. Prosecutors will say “look at the dna evidence that is undeniably user’s semen”, defense lawyers will say “check the video, it can clearly be seen that my client user was at work all night. It is physically impossible for him to have ejaculated on that woman”. Lives will be ruined, modern science will be challenged, everything we think we know will be questioned.

user’s cumshot will change the future.

Rob as many fancy auto dealerships as possible, probably rob Fort Knox because Gold. All the rape. Molest all the kids. Then probably assassinate world leaders in plain sight.

>go to prolific actor's houses, collect their semen, put in my asshole and call the cops

this one got me

i'd pay to watch that movie

Spend the rest of my life ending the lives of all non-whites during the timestop.

>starting with the jews.

DESTROY THE JOESTAR FAMILY

A madman, and a true genius.

I can find all unseemly manner of use for it.

Take Castlevania out and put in a better game.

> third world country
problem solved. you're not guilty.

stop being a dumb cunt.

same

they would assume evidence were planted

I'd join the military. If you get woken up at the crack of dawn to your drill sergeant screaming in your face you can just pause time and sleep for a few more hours, and you can pause time to recuperate during any intense training so the hard part is pretty much obsolete. Then you just make a name for yourself in active combat as the guy that literally teleports around killing enemy soldiers. You can scout any area for enemies without having to worry about being seen or sniped. You could check every single person in a crowded market place for a suicide vest and diffuse it and then cut the throat of whoever is wearing it. Pull shit like that off long enough and you'd be living large.

Damn, if the government gets their hands on anything like this we're all totally fucked.

Start a fuck list where I fuck celebrities and they'll never ever know but I'll see them all on TV with a look on there face and I'll say.... "I did that"

>pic

Dade :(

>dna automatically makes you guilty
>I'm the dumb cunt
If you can't come up with a reasonable response go back to licking windows you fucking sped.

Assuming it affects everything except for myself and that I can freely turn it off and on at will.. I would abuse the fuck out of it. Steal shit, rape shit, and live like a king.

> bring non-human, third world fgts into convo and expect them to follow human protocol

yeah you're a dumb cunt

>push button
>time stops
>can't press button with time frozen
>stuck for eternity

Sometimes when I fuck your mother in the ass she tells me about how you were molested as a child, is this why you're such a whiny bitch or is it because you have sand in your vagina?

classic fgt hurt response

piss in peoples assholes

I would rob the shit out of everyone I saw and rape the shit out of the girls. Literally every women I saw that I liked I would impregnate.

>shitposts
>is surprised when responded to with a shitpost
Your mother screams like a whore, that is when her mouth isn't full.