Fiance is a wonderful person, damn near perfect as anyone I have ever met

>Fiance is a wonderful person, damn near perfect as anyone I have ever met
>But she's not really attractive, and never really has been, even as a teen
>Facially cute but fat neck engulfs her face, she has a belly that makes her look pregnant and her tits hang flat against her body, so saggy that they point straight down. She's also really tall so her Ds look like Bs. Butt is lumpy and has no shape. I have to dig my hand through flab to finger her and it smells bad.
>In college still, see all kinds of hot girls everywhere, all my female friends are better looking than her.
>Everyone says chubsters are the best in bed, but she simply lets me do things to her, she's very shy and never takes an active role or gets very enthusiastic about anything.

I feel like such shit even thinking this way but I can't help it. I love her and she really is the best person for me. It's just that hot, carefree, exhibitionist girls are my fetish. I love seeing chicks run around braless, in tiny skirts, topless at the beach, etc and my girl wears sweats and one of my flannels where other chicks are in booty shorts and crop tops. I fap a lot to tumblr girls, camwhores, etc, all these types of women I like sexually but the desire/urge never goes away and just annoys the hell out of me. Even if I quit porn/fapping completely I'm surrounded by hot ass women. I know they're hoes and I know none of then could hold a candle to her in terms of personality or long term compatability but I just can't stop wishing she was hot.

I'm not perfect myself, I know, but I at least put some effort in. I lift and while I'm not really into fashion but I keep myself clean and groomed and wear things that look good and fit well. I get hit on twice as much as she does and as a spaghetti male that mostly keeps quiet that's really saying something.

Without attraction there not much of a point in staying in a relationship. Break it up and move on.

Seconded.

Help her get fit or break up. Attraction is an important part of relationships. Good luck, OP.

I'll make custom porn for you if you want, if it would make it easier.

No bullshit, OP. Post a picture of yourself. Timestamp too.
There is a reason you're with someone who looks like this. I'm betting its you.

Working on this one. She buys a gym membership or a DVD set or piece of equipment, uses it for a month, then there's always a reason why she can't. She's sick, she needs to study, work is hard lately, etc. They always seem legit, but when time comes to get back to it the it's "it would be so much easier if I had X next thing to buy and wait for".

Having the same issue with my Fiance. She was not exactly thin when we got together but she has really let herself go. I'm encouraging her to eat healthier and go for walks right now. I'm just about to the point of telling her that her weight gain is making me worry about her health.

you're a nice guy op, anybody would understand your situation, most jerks would just cheat or move on

i say you talk to her sincerely and openly about it, she must have noticed if she's smart as you say it's better to be on clear waters

she may even down to letting you fuck some of those tight little uni pussies once in a while in an agreed manner to blow off some steam bro

good luck with life op, stay true

Thirded

What you describe is a result of underdeveloped muscle structure. She needs to hit the gym hard. Investment?

This is how I feel, my gf is thicc(big butt and nice thighs) and I'm really into that. But her face isn't that good and I'm really into Asians. I know my yellow fever is dumb but I'm also in college and see all these cute Asians that I flirt with But I can't bring myself to cheating on my gf because we've been together for 6 years, I'm just not sexually attracted to her besides her ass though, she isn't much my type

gtfo mate, no reason to stick around with a landwhale when you're in fucking college derp go fuck some whores and move on

Where are you from OP? Just curious

TRIPS demands it become a /fit/ couple

This is a question only you can answer in the end, but you should keep in mind that gravity affects everyone, and even if you can land a girl who's smoking hot, and pushes all the right buttons for you, she's not going to look that good forever, and once she turns into a toad you'll have to pray she doesn't have a shitty personality.

California.

Indeed, which is why I plan to stick by her and not do

girls go topless at the beach there?

Oh shit. I post so rarely this is my first trips ever...

Yeah I live near a beach that isn't a state park or state-run. It's kind of a locals-only spot so we can get away with a lot. Horses, dirt bikes, fires, camping, fireworks, you name it. Works pretty well too since the only people that go there actually live their so it's one of the cleanest and safest beaches you'll ever see.

Sounds like she has the desire, but not the motivation or the willpower. If you hunker down, start exercising and getting fit, and then encourage her to join you, chances are she'll keep up with it a lot better.

It's important that you encourage her, not pressure her. Ask every time you go out and if she says she's not feeling well that day, tell her that the exercise will help her feel better, even if she does just a little. If she insists, go do your workout and then try again the next day. Never stop asking.

cynical view but you should go and fuck hot college girls. If you stick with her, you'll always have the thought in the back of your mind that you could have been with hotter girls. I know I wouldn't want to be constantly reminded of that

It's hard to explain but I don't want other women, I want her to be better. When I see all these chicks posting noods on their tumblr I wish I had the kind of girl who was hot and kinky enough to actually make that happen. But just banging them and moving on isn't the point. I want MY girl to be like that, I don't really care what the public use sluts are like because they aren't mine and they don't mean anything to me.

Not OP, but it seems like you faggots are incapable of understanding:
personality & compatability > looks
After you get to know a girl for more than a week, if you (me, anyway) don't like her as a person, you wont want to have sex with her.
Nothing is more of a turn off than a shitty personality.
Once you have to get to know a girl, you will fucking hate her so much, you will wish the worse things for her in life, and you will hate yourself for having put yourseself into a situation where you'll have to stand next to her for more than 17 seconds. It doesn't matter how fucking sexy her body is, it will remind you of how much you hate her, you will feel disgust, you will feel anger, you will feel sadness, you will feel contempt, not just about her, but towards yourself, because you were such a piece of shit to put yourself into situations that make you feel like that.

ssure her. Ask every time you go out and if she says she's not feeling well that day, tell her that the exercise will help her feel better, even if she does just a little. If she insists, go do your workout and then try again the next day. Never stop asking.
>>
Anonymous 02/16/18(Fri)17:18:19 No.760145328▶ (OP)
cynical view but you should go and fuck hot college girls. If you stick with her, you'll always have the thought in the back of your mind that you could have been with hotter girls. I know I wouldn't want to be constantly reminded of that
>>
Anonymous 02/16/18(Fri)17:22:02 No.760145665▶
It's hard to explain but I don't want other women, I want her to be better. When I see all these chicks posting noods on their tumblr I wish I had the kind of girl who was hot and kinky enough to actually make that happen. But just banging them and moving on isn't the point. I want MY girl to be like that, I don't really care what the public use sluts are like because they aren't mine and they don't mean anything to me.
>>
Anonymous 02/16/18(Fri)17:32:23 No.760146640▶
Not OP, but it seems like you faggots are incapable of understanding:
personality & compatability > looks
After you get to know a girl for more than a week, if you (me, anyway) don't like her as a person, you wont want to have sex with her.
Nothing is more of a turn off than a shitty personality.
Once you have to get to know a girl, you will fucking hate her so much, you will wish the worse things for her in life, and you will hate yourself for having put yourseself into a situation where you'll have to stand next to her for more than 17 seconds. It doesn't matter how fucking sexy her body is, it will remind you of how much you hate her, you will feel disgust, you will feel anger, you will feel sadness, you will feel contempt, not just about her, but towards yourself, because you were such a piece of shit to put yourself into situations that make you feel like that.

Perhaps she might be interested in an open relationship? Have you had an honest talk about this?

Being fit is easy. Just find a sport that she likes. That way working out isn't a chore it's fun.

Also tell her you want her to be more proactive in bed. If she cares she'll work on it.

OP, I am in a similar situation, but slightly older. It all depends on what you want from this.

If you are looking for a wife, then you should keep her. Of course, if you are surrounded by many good looking girls from good conservative families, than it's up to you because you might absolutely find a better catch.

However, if you just want to sleep around, then you should 100% leave her. You've got lots of hot broads all around, so pursuing that lifestyle would take you on a whole other adventure. But I'm afraid none of them will be wife material.

You can't turn a ho into a housewife!

You can't force yourself to be attracted to someone. You just have to determine how important being with someone attractive is to you.

Hey,

22 year old 8 inch cock and I am online and hard every night!

ADD ME:

Skype = Godda2882
Kik = Godda2882

Look at the bright side: when she divorces you, you won't care as much.

sounds like santa cruz or seaside kek

Some additional perspective for you:
Been with my girl for 2.5 years now. But when we started dating, I didn't have my shit in order and she was somehow into me. But now that I'm in professional school, there have been all kinds of privileged girls who have invited me to their bedrooms. The problem is, their apartments are filthy and I can never bring myself to a drunk enough state to cheat on my gf.

What bothers me also is that I see these girls turning down good guys left and right, men with good jobs and good experience. Now, what happens when these girls finish school and they earn as much as I do, or even more? The moment I stumble on anything (eg. health problem, lose job, whatever), they will leave my ass instantly.

Good luck OP.

>be OP
>have ugly gf
>be total beta
>complain about how ugly she is on internet
>complain about her being lame in bed
>fap to hot girls

seem like the only reason to stay with her is that you are afraid that you will never find another girl

>thicc

funny how people always look for euphemisms for fat

Yeah....

There's definitely only 2 beaches in the US kek

dude, i was with the perfect girl back in my 20's. She wasn't gorgeous, but she was my best friend and we always had fun together.

Then, a seriously hot girl entered my life and she and I hit it off. We got married had 4 children and later divorced. She and I were never really really good friends, but we had an awesome adventurous life together, and she always looked hot as fuck.

I sometimes look back and wonder if I should have stayed with (and married) the other girl. But I always decide no, that I made the right decision.

If I had it to do over again, I would pick the hot fun adventurous girl every single time. Life's too short to spend it with someone you're not hot for all the time.

he said california, not the US, you dumb cunt.

could be san o in san clemente.

Could be anywhere between himboldt county & Oceanside tbh. There’s beaches like that all over the coast

Well then you must be right Mr internet sleuth

There are surely only 2 beaches that aren't state park in the 840 mi of coast line in CA

Fucking retards

This.
Furthermore, I would suggest the possibility that OP is in actual fact full of shit. Writing style of a virgin.

this.

how do you stay with someone for six years that you aren't attracted to?

/thread
Sorry OP, I passed this too, reality sucks

nice try, faggot. you're the shit-for-brains who said the US, not me.

next time, try using your head before you post. you might not show how truly dumb you are.

You're still at least as retarded as me if you think there's only 2 beaches in Cali. So join the club you blown out ass gasket of a human being.

( •_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

Hey OP, I was You once when I was younger. I’m 41 now.

There’s a few things you really need to see about this, and unfortunately, you’re blinded by both emotions and social conditioning. You really need to make a choice, because the longer you let it go this way, the worse it will get.

First off, you love her which is awesome. Second, she loves you too, which is great. I’m happy to hear it, and good on ya for being in a good relationship.

And at the same time, ya gotta get honest with yourself and with her. As I Said, the longer you let it go, the worse it’ll become. After you lose attraction to her, eventually, she’ll lose it too. And then you’ll start resenting yourself for not doing anything about it. But you’re comfy and love each other, so why change. But knowing you’re robbing both of you of a happy sex life will gnaw at you, creating more guilt and resentment and self loathing, which becomes a terrible cycle that will degrade your happiness and self esteem over time. She’ll feel it too as you grow bitter and more disinterested. She fat, not stupid. She’ll be acutely aware that you aren’t feelin it with her, and she’ll hate herself for it. Over time, this kind of dynamic drives a edge between couples. Dishonesty is a poison.

You will be faced with a choice over
And over in life:
>Do you want the pain of discipline, of the pain of regret?

If you don’t choose one, you’ll get the other. There is no avoiding pain. The only difference is that the pain of discipline is temporary and will give you improvements in life. Regret is forever, and gives you nothing.

1/?

jesus, it's like debating a retarded child here. i never claimed there were only 2 beaches in california. you must be the pride and joy of your idiot parents.

(Continued).... As I said, I’m 41, and I’ve wasted my best years in a variety of ways because i didn’t exercise the discipline needed to really create the life I wanted. Trust me, regret is the fucking worst. It eats at you over and over, and is so much harder to let go of than just doing the right thing in the first place

Do you really want to build a life where you are unfulfilled sexually, where you lie to her, and where you wake up one day and realize that it’s too painful to continue, but also too built up to just unplug from? It’s a terrible thing to be stuck in this way.

Here’s what you need to see that you’re not seeing yet:
1. As cynical as it sounds, Relationships are built on sexuality. It’s what separates friendship from relationship.

2. A mans relationship to women should not be built on a drive for emotional comfort. If you’re in this relationship for emotional comfort, then you have growing to do as a man, because you’re still operating emotionally like a little boy.

3. It’s important to recognize that social value is real, and sexual dynamics are real. Romantic love is a distortion of what relationships are really like in cold, hard reality. The primal part of her wants a guy with high social value, and if she doesn’t feel you are, she’ll dump you. And the primal part of you wants a attractive woman. Now, being fat, she’s so low value that there’s little you can do to lose her, but if her value rose above yours, she’d drop you mercilessly. I’ve seen the sweetest women do it over and over. Nature is cruel, and men have been trained to not be that way, but women haven’t. You may want to accept that this selfishness in terms of attraction is right for you, and part of your power as a man.

4. Over time, if she hasn’t yet, she’ll respect you les and less for staying with her if she knows she’s low value. She’ll know that you are not low value cause the best you can do is her, and she’ll

(Continued)... leave you or lose attraction to you because you’re clearly self esteem. This is what you’re setting yourself up for.

>For a relationship to be happy, these shallow primal requyneedntobe met and maintained

At some level, she expect a man to be a man. Which means she’s expects you do be trustworthy, do the right thing even when it’s hard, and have the balls to serve yourself as if you’re important. She won’t respect you otherwise.

You should probably also take a real honest hard look at yourself and admit it if you’re just with her because you might have low self esteem and she accepts you. Are you using the relationship as a crutch to avoid growing and self actualizing? Too much comfort will kill growth, which kills happiness. I understand she has a great personality, but there are a lot of really hot girls that do as well.

Here’s your options as I see it:
1. Have a very real conversation with her about this, set some boundaries for her, tell her you want her to succeed and that if she doesn’t, you’re going to walk so that you can both have a happy sex life. Remember that good sex is a part of good emotions. The good news is that losing weight is easy: she just needs to commit to a lifestyle change in terms of diet. There’s tons of blogs out there on how to do this. Weight loss is 80% diet, 20% exercise. And if you’re going g to encourage her to make this change, then you do the same and make th change with her by cleaning up your diet and exercising too. You demonstrate what it’s like to get your act together in this way, and she’ll follow. DO NOT make her do it on her own, cause she’ll fail. I lost a lot of weight on the paleo diet, but look around and do what works for you both.
2. You open up your relationship in some way and make allowances for you to sleep around.

....

>Have a very real conversation with her about this, set some boundaries for her, tell her you want her to succeed and that if she doesn’t, you’re going to walk
Mmmyeah, give that bitch an ultimatum. Bitches love ultimatums.

(Continued)..,.

3. You dump / LJBF her out of compassion and just take the pain of moving on in order to better both of your lives. It’ll hurt a lot, but over time she’ll thank you.

Whatever you do, be sure to place your own happiness, your own balance, your own power and authenticity at the center of your life, because it’s the only way to make sure that you are trustworthy and and good to those around you. If you want to be a truly good man to those around you, being honest and responsible for your own needs is paramount. If you aren’t, you’ll become weak or bitter or you’ll come off as if you’re hiding something, and it will corrupt your capacity to be a good man for her. Trust me on this, it’s real.

Hiding your desires in order to maintain relationships is what someone with mommy issues, who was smothered or mothered too much does. You value the connection to female comfort more than your own authenticity. So you neuter your own power in order to belong because you can’t really imagine how it could be any other way. But it can, and you should explore it. You should explore sex with attrative women while you’re young and they’re young. You should hone yourself as a man by risking rejection. You should become comfortable with letting a woman go if she doesn’t meet your standards because it’s actually the good thing to do. Don’t wait, your future is important, but so is your youth! Don’t waste it by waiting. When your older, the amount of opportunity for sex, especially with young women who are sexually open and free becomes harder to find. And the more time you spend not doing something that you do people do, the more underdeveloped you become in that area as you grow older. What happens if she divorced you at 45 and you have no skill with women or pursuing sexual relationships?

You’ve got all these choices to make, and both of your futures hang in the balance. Best of fortune, user.

It’s not about what she loves. It’s not about placating women. She’s gonna freak out. But women only respect men who give them boundaries. It’s about putting the truth before her feels

PS, it’s me, oldfag again. Go research Esther Perel and her book mating in captivity. If you want to have a lasting sex life in a relationship, it’s a crucial read

You claimed you had some sort of idea where he was based on your limited information. All to try and be #1 internet detective.

Maybe your mommy can give you a medal

Not telling anyone to placate anyone here, just saying that going in like you're a police chief telling a rogue cop that he's on thin ice is probably a really stupid idea.

At best you'll give the impression that you're motivated solely by your penis and don't value love, and at worst you'll make her wonder why she's still with someone who's acting like she's the only one who has to pull weight in the relationship.

Just saying, try to keep in mind how you're coming across, yknow?

she makes you feel bad about leaving her because you are about ten million times better than what she expected her fiance to look like when she was an ugly kid.

Who said anything about putting it like that? All OP ahead to do is admit he’s struggling with this and tell her she has the power to do something about it. But you can’t ask a person to change with no sense of consequence. There’s no motivation to do so if she’s already fulfilled and he’s just saying he’s unhappy with no clear definition of repercussions

Problem is, he has no balls, so her fear of losing him means nothing.

Make a decision; work for the relationship or move on.
If you work for the relationship, encourage her to exercise, primarily by starting to exercise yourself and inviting her. Talk to her about her odor issues and suggest ways for her to clean up. Thinner people have an easier time staying clean and people who are fat tend to accrue odor quicker, so long term, you want to work out. If you love her enough to work on it, give it a shot.
If a hot body is more important than the emotions, you just need to move on.
I'm not making a judgement at all here, mind you. I don't give a shit what you do. But those are your options.
Love is enough: stay together and try to fix the problems instead of talking to Sup Forums about them.
Hot pussy is the most important: leave her and find yourself some of that hot pussy you crave.

True, but most women are very sensitive to subtext, so it almost doesn't really matter how you WORD it, it's your intent, and if your intent is to go in with "I'm unhappy with our relationship, and I need you to fix it", you're gonna have a bad time.

Instead, I'd recommend a subtle change. Something more like "I'm unhappy with our relationship, how can we improve it?" You don't come off as needy, and you convey the message that you're willing to help improve the relationship, and aren't just laying it all on her shoulders and expecting her to do all the work. This is ESPECIALLY true if she's already fulfilled.

Not only that, but this way you look more responsible, and bitches love men who are responsible and don't expect them to do all the work.

Porn and the interwebs have ruined your judgement. Hot roasties eventually lose their hotness, so if they don't have a good personality they have nothing. You are better off with less hot but nice person.

I get what you’re saying, and I’d say that the question you’re proposing is way too open ended and will not get at what she needs to hear, and what he needs to communicate.

Ultimately, the fat is on Her body, and therefore, if they want to fix it, she needs to lose the weight. He should frame that communication in whatever way works for him, but the point is that he’s struggling with not feeling attraction because she’s overweight. He needs to come clean about that, and then they can work on a solution.

Women also love a guy who takes the lead, and as I said before, the best way he can lead her is to do it wit her, and encourage and praise her for all her efforts. It would be empowering for both of them.

And women aren’t fragile flowers. They can handle the truth when it’s tempered by caring and kindness. As I said in my novel above, if he doesn’t do this, he is degrading their relationship by being passive, which is a bad move from my experience. She may not like the idea of an ultimatum, but she’ll respect him for having the courage to bring it up, and she’ll feel oddly secure in knowing where she stands. As hard as these conversations are, it’s better to up front about it, because the truth is that his drive for sex with attractive women won’t diminish over time. And by lying to her about this, he destroys the very foundation of their whole connection, which is trust

Just start hitting the gym together. She gets fit, you get fit, you both win.
The rest of the problems will go away as a result.
Shy's most likely shy because having always been fat she's prob got next to no self-confidence.

Or this, fpbp

In other words, the intent isn’t to make her feel like shit, it’s to heal the relationship and restore trust and attraction.

I outlined other options besides the one you’ve fixated on as well. They could always try and open relationship too

same here man same here fuck kill me

Similar situation with me actually, my gf has a pretty nice body but her face leaves some to be desired and well... we don't connect that well either. My ex who is a literal 10/10 wants me and I started talking to her but she's now hurt because I wouldn't leave my current. and this guy brings up some good points and is making me think that maybe I should go back to my 10/10 ex whom I connect 100% with instead of living with regret. Thing is my ex is in Georgia and it'd be a LTR thing for a bit which is one reason I haven't just gone and done it yet...

>The rest of the problems will go away as a result.

Oh, Gym Bros. You’re so naive. Lifting won’t fix everything

Don’t do it until you can be there. LTRs are trouble

You speak from your experience, I speak from mine. If the woman is emotionally intelligent enough, she may give you the benefit of the doubt that you mean no harm. Maybe. But most women I know won't jump at the opportunity to bust their ass just to stay in a relationship with someone who clearly only cares about getting their dick wet.

Also...

>And women aren’t fragile flowers. They can handle the truth when it’s tempered by caring and kindness.

You can’t generalize, women are people with many different capabilities, like any other group. To reduce it down to ONLY caring about getting your dick wet it an exaggeration that you’re making by taking my words out of context. Sex matters. It’s part of the core of a relationship. It matters for health, and happiness, energetic balance, hormone regulation, and emotional health. Sex is important.

And obviously it’s not the whole relationship. But it’s part of The relating. And if any part of the relating is toxic, the relationship will become toxic over time. Would you have the same issue if the contention was something else besides sex, like say one partner being too critical? If he felt she was too critical and it was killing his attraction, that would be under a double, right? Sex is part of relating. If he becomes and beta loser who stays home and does Vidya all day and she loses attraction and gives him an ultimatum, it makes sense, right? Same thing. The relating matters, at all levels

Hmm, I figured that too, I'm just afraid she'll go with someone else and I'll forever lose that opportunity. LTR is fucking shit tbh for so many reasons, maybe I'll just fucking move there. I've been considering driving down and visiting her.

My current cheated on me and things just haven't been the same since which I think is why I even considered my ex. Not a typical cheating story though, she was seeing someone behind her BFs (military) back for comfort and I came in and swooped on her but when I asked her to be loyal to me she said she was but was still seeing him behind my back until I got her to finish it.

She's loyal now and super submissive because she's scared to lose me and I get so angry and shit triggers memories of that time so I take it out on her sometimes. I just get angry sometimes by anything she says or when even hanging out with her. Hell, it's why I lost attraction for her too.

Not sure what to do tbh.

Here’s what I’d do in your situation.
I’m gonna give it to you straight up.

Drop your current GF. You made the mistake of snagging a girl who is a cheater and have had her loyalty, but I think you know it’s a matter of time or at least a possibility that she’ll cheat and you have no trust or respect for her, which is bad for you. I’m guessing this is why you get angry

But you gotta work on that anger somewhere else, not with her. A man should be a solid structure for those around him, and that means being at peace in your heart. Do the work to make it that way, or it’ll bite you in the ass. So the work bro.

As far as your ex, go pay a visit, feel it out before you relocate. Be damn sure she’s not just being a fussy emotional chick who’ll change her mind. Or be fine with that before you move. And if she goes on the cock carousel again, pursue her if she’s the one for you. Leave no doubt in her mind. But don’t let her play you. Hold your value and keep other options open, just to retain your value.

Best of luck, bro

Thanks kind user, you have told it how it is and you're honestly right. Right on both parts, of my current and my anger. I haven't really attacked it that well, I mean, I've gotten better since I was a kid I suppose. You're right about the reasons why I'm angry to a tee too.

I think I'll pay her a visit to get a feel for it, for her etc. I've lived long enough to not allow some woman to play me so I will certainly retain my value henceforth.

Thanks Sup Forumsro.

That pic. Kek.

Happy to help a Sup Forumsrother out. Best of luck. Life is too sweet to spend it feeling bitter. You deserve what is good.