Tell Björk a joke

>Tell Björk a joke
>She laughs this hard
What'd you tell her?

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twitter.com/bjork/status/925075096158593025
telerama.fr/musique/bjork-jai-baptise-lalbum-utopia,-parce-quil-ne-sagit-que-de-ca-garder-lespoir,n5312044.php
twitter.com/AnonBabble

bestiality is wrong

>you made good music after your debut

"Hello, I'm Lars Von Trier"

I told her the story of my life.

"I'm a virgin"

Im fat and I want to fuck you with my 4.5 inch big cock

STOP THIS MEME

Ew i thought that was a cigarette in her mouth then i noticed its her fucked up teeth.

Also 3 posts in a row just asked me to select cars from the same image, is google image ai finally running out of images it can't identify?

They're (old) fillings.

I showed her my penor

I'm also somewhat of a musician

twitter.com/bjork/status/925075096158593025
shall be going to this

"grimes is good"

Awesome! Have a good time user!

apparently the album's gonna have 14 tracks and will be out november 24th

telerama.fr/musique/bjork-jai-baptise-lalbum-utopia,-parce-quil-ne-sagit-que-de-ca-garder-lespoir,n5312044.php

Einar Orn was a great singer

Maybe you could try writing something without Mark Bell?

(1/2)
3 guys are hiking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.
It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50
The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.
The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.
The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish.
First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.
Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.
Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.
The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.
First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more.
Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already.
Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around. The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.
Cont.

(2/2)
Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going. First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years." Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed." Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says: "Guys, I think I fucked up"

Sup Forums is a nice and constructive community with great taste in music and quality discussions.

Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back.

Luckily I was the one facing the TV.

I have a fear of escalators and elevators so I've started taking steps to avoid them.

Did you hear about the guy who got caught stealing two calendars?

He got two years.

lmao

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory.

All I did was take a day off

I was walking through a quarry and said to the foreman: "That's a big rock."
He replied: "Boulder!"

So I puffed out my chest and shouted: "LOOK AT THAT ENORMOUS ROCK OVER THERE!"

i entered ten puns in a pun contest

i hoped at least one would win, but no pun in ten did

just fuck my shit up senpai.

kek

i sure would like to *pun*ch you in the fucking face
just kidding this is the best joke in the thread

>Laugh and anons will post it on Sup Forums

Funny as fuck

underrated

Best ITT

Are these DOOM lyrics

"Fashion Week is the best Death Grips album"

w e w

*fucks your dog*

...

"You know, all of those inspectors and FBI folks look out in ditches and shit for missing people, but i always had an easier time finding them on the back of milk cartons"

you need to get the fuck back to Sup Forums newfag

Goddamn it

Destroyed me

oh YES

Saw this exact joke on reddit

bjork, i cant find your nudes.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit?

are you gonna eat that?

user people tell jokes to other people who then tell them to other people.
You would know this if you talked to other people.

>14 tracks

yeah but NO NUDES

close?

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman eating a sandwich at a nearby table begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?"

The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?"

The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I never seed nobody done it."

Well it has that Reddit-like sense of "humor".

How does a blind skydiver know when he's close to the ground?

The leash on the guide dog goes slack.

i told her i was going to send her a book with a bomb in it because she was dating a black guy. then i was gonna attempt film myself blasting my brains out onto a canvas behind me by using a low caliber pistol with a hollow point round.

shes laughing because she knows the hollow point round wont even make an exit wound

Give me your pussy. I know you got one.

This is funnier along the way then on the punchline.

>your new album's good