I’ll start: Handjob

I’ll start: Handjob

I feel like there's a story here. Explain.

Whitey Willowbee

Droptop

doublemint dave

froggee

sticky-bicky steven

>this mofo

KEK

Penis(Not kidding)

son

nipple
then I left that militia group and was never called that again

Satelite

Faggot.

Ballzley

Jesus
God
The ONE
Neo
Mexicans used to call me "Hey Zues!" all the time.
Zombie Jesus was the only one I liked.
It was okay for popularity reasons back in highschool, but girls would literally say "sorry but it'd be weird to sleep with Jesus you know"
Only got an ultra christian girl during that time. She was cute, but wanted to have my baby, so it was weird.

Looking back at it, I should have knocked her up and skipped town. She probably didn't even know my real name.

>be me
>Be 12 years old on school camp
>In cabins of 4 or 5 kids
>Have difficulty pooping anywhere without complete privacy
>Holding it in... Still eating... All good have held before but maybe not this long
>Day 5 there is a monster with in me, it has to come out
>Do the biggest shit of my life is like giving birth
>Won't flush, just leave it
>Other kid goes to go to bathroom
>Yells to other kids in caning, everyone looking at my amazing beauty
>Teacher gets wind of it
>Come in, word has spread kids from other cabins and the girls caning are gathering around our cabin
>Teacher makes me go get a stick and break it up to flush
>Everyone watching knows why going on

TFW when known as "The Turd King" for next 5 years.

Spanky :(

...and once people learned I would fight anyone who called me that, I started getting in trouble and my life went downhill.

ITT: OP lying about having received a handjob when really a kiss kiss virgin.

Eugene

Dogmeat

I got called "stiffy" in year 7 because some bloke falsely accused me of having a stiffy and everybody joined in despite my dick being soft as can be.

Sui, because I tried to hang myself in highschool but failed and everyone made fun of me more :(

>be me
>be in 2nd grade
>already be a bit of a weird kid, and have a teacher who is pretty funny and fucks around
>one day i fart hella loud in class acidently
>fuckme.jpg
>teacher calls me farty for like a month after that
>but then
>so we did this thing where we went around the class asking people what kind of pet theyd like
>i said id want an iguana
>idk why but for the rest of the entire fucking school year after that(a few months) my teacher would
>more often than not
>call me
>the
>farty
>fucking
>iguana

>mfw

That’s really fucking depressing user, hope things get better.

"Fingers"
Threw a machete at a nigger stealing my bike out of the driveway and took off 2 of his fingers which ended up on the driveway when he let go of the bike and ran away.
Name followed me from 13 - 17 until I moved with my family.

wut?

Orangensaft.

Long story. None of us are even German speaking.

> be sitting in basketball shorts
> Someone across from me can see I'm going commando
> Looks at me and says real loud 'Eewwww pubes!!!!'
> From that moment on I was called Pube
> Everyone called me that to the point someone who knew me a while even asked me what my name was

On graduation my maths teacher shook a group of us hands, said stupid shit to all of us. When he got to me said, for the last few years I've known you as user, even though none of your peers calls you that. I would be honoured if just once, you would allow me to say 'good luck in the future Pube, I know you're gonna do well.' everyone laughs. He pumps my fist and moves on.

Sounds cute.

jew. short for julian