Hey Sup Forums

hey Sup Forums,

I'm really unsure how to get over the fact that my life is so sad. I'm 19 years old, I have had a drinking problem in the past (but thankfully I'm getting over it, been sober for a few months) however I have something on my hands which I feel has contributed to much of my drinking. Plain and simple, I can't really get laid. The only time I've ever had sex is with prostitutes, and this is what I shame myself over every time I used to pick up a drink. I'm obviously finding other outlets for my frustration (mainly continuing the prostitutes thing), but sometimes I just think to myself after I finish a 1 hour session as to what in the actual fuck my life has boiled down to. For fucks sake, I actually caught feelings for one of them. I still remember her, this young 19 year old blond one that actually found me attractive. Keep in mind, I go to the gym, and I'm around a 6.5-7ish out of 10. I've been to around 20 or so hookers (yes, I'm kind of a richfag) so it doesn't seem too unlikely that out of 20 girls, one of them is gonna find me attractive. After the first few sessions, she even started letting me fuck her for free. She basically became my fuckbuddy for a little while. The problem is that any girl who gives me even the slightest attention I end up falling for. How do I get rid of this emotion, Sup Forums? And moreover, how do I actually pick up from here and start actually meeting girls that don't ask for money in order for me to fuck them? It almost seems hopeless for me, and its not necessarily because I'm riddled with anxiety (i'm on meds for that), it's just that I've never experienced what it's like to meet a girl, get to know her, and then eventually fuck her. I'm just used to blowing off money that I could have saved, busting a load, and then hating myself and regretting every part of my being after I realize that this is the only outlet I have. This shouldn't be how sex is. And this is not something that I feel I should be experiencing.

and basically, the blonde girl that I spent a little time with traveled back to see her family in Ukraine. Yeah, I know, Ukranian girls are definitely not the most loyal anyways, but it almost feels like shit for me to know that she was literally the only girl that I've been intimate with. And it makes me feel like shit that she left, and I want her back. It's not just that I feel like shit because I've never been with anyone other than a prostitute, it's also the fact that even if I keep continuing my journey of buying hookers all the time, I won't meet anyone like her.

I think you should just move on man. I wouldn't get too attached to any female especially one that "hooks" maybe she acted like she liked you so you would spend more money on her services. Just be more outgoing go on a dating site or some shit

43 year old fag here

Do you have many friends or an active social life?

What are your interests?

What about your career?

If you've got a busy life and people who care about you then you're less likely to fixate on one particular woman, and you're more likely to be emotionally stable

Yeah I've been focusing on other activities and finding other shit to do with my life when I'm not at my regular buying habit. It's been a few weeks since uni started, I'm getting to know a lot more people now that my anxiety has eased, but my only concern is the girls thing man. I'm not bad at talking to them and getting to know them, I'm just shitty at getting closer with them. I just banged a hooker yesterday because I wasn't getting my instant gratification that I'm usually used to (alcohol). It's almost like this is what I do to replace my alcoholic tendencies.

-not really. Not because I'm a fag, but because I just moved to a new area and started college a few weeks ago. But I definitely know a handful of kids so far

-i actually like doing a multitude of things. I play guitar a lot, chess, video games, gymming, and studying, believe it or not (although I'm usually jacked up on nicotine which gives me the patience for it)

- career wise, I'm planning on either being a doctor, or a data scientist. I'm a very analytical person so I think those career options seem good for me

And yes, I have a great family that cares for me. My life doesn't suck at all, it's just that it's fucking pathetic how this is what I've become.

Here's my history if it makes you feel better

>didn't lose my virginity until 21 years old
>only got with 5 women before age 30 (not counting hookers)
>went travelling and lived in a different country
>In the 10 years following that I've been with at least another 40 women (again not counting hookers)

Like yourself, women were an issue for me when I was younger and I can't even really say why

I guess that once I'd had a couple of girlfriends I realised that they aren't such a big deal, that I actually preferred to do my own thing or be with friends most of the time

And the other thing is that looking back on it, most guys who were in their late teens and early 20's pretended to be experienced and confident with women but really weren't

>And the other thing is that looking back on it, most guys who were in their late teens and early 20's pretended to be experienced and confident with women but really weren't

In other words I was constantly comparing myself to guys I thought were sexually successful but they weren't

So I'm guessing the moral of the story is not to try too hard and let things just flow naturally? Or do things just change as you get older?

I'm glad that you're actually on here willing to give me advice instead of being a useless fuck like most people on here are. Can I add your show username and chat that way before this 404's?

Skype* whoops

Get some exercise user

Start running. You will lose weight and feel great. That will make you more confident and more attractive to women.

Google Couch to 5k

Kek 19.
Drinking problem?
Whatever you say kid. Put down those coolers and grow a pair.

Yeah pretty young you'd think. But yes, I definitely have a legitimate problem with alcohol. I've had seizures and hallucinations from just 24 hours without a drink. I flunked my first semester in college because of that. I'm redoing it right now. I'm on meds and I haven't drank in a few months. It's fucking hard not to drink but it's possible. I still get cravings in the mornings man it sucks.

>So I'm guessing the moral of the story is not to try too hard and let things just flow naturally? Or do things just change as you get older?

I'd say its both of those things - letting things flow naturally is a good idea, just socialising and meeting girls and talking to them without worrying about the outcome

And things also change as you get older as well - I don't get awkward or weird around girls any more like I did when I was younger, possibly due to knowing myself better and realising that if a girl doesn't want me then its not such a big deal

TBH I don't use Skype much at all, I can give you a bit more advice here but if you want in depth advice then other message boards (not Sup Forums) may be a better place to look, sorry I can't be any more specific than that although I'd probably stay away from a lot of the pickup artist stuff and tend towards other life advice forums

Your fucking 19, stop being a whiner. It'll get better. Fuck these threads get old. Put a band-aid on your scraped knee and walk it off

Yeah agreed. I don't go on these types of forums very often, and i still visit Sup Forums because i remember the times it would make me laugh and pass the time when i was drunk and lonely. And yeah the pickup artist stuff is utter crap. That's definitely shit I watch if I want a nice dose of cringe, but I don't take it seriously. I may be a drunk, but I'm not retarded for fucks sake.

see a therapist. your parents abused you and your mom has a too intimate relationship with you which prevents you developing a sexual identitiy => "can't get laid"

Trust me dude. There's a whole world of feelings out there. I'm not there either, realization still too fresh. But therapy helps.

You will fuck like a monkey when you're emotionally healthy. That's the thing. You don't know what's going on but if you think about it you're never happy. And people are happy sometimes and if you're happy girls just smile at you and you can just go there and throw them around and then they kiss you and yay.

It's just when mom and dad don't want to figure out who you are and force you to be like them instead is when you become a pathetic insecure richfag thinking about starting a life with a ukranian hooker named ingred.

Because you believe your parents when htey tell you there is nothing else.

It's gonna hurt shit times 30 bro, but bear with me.. Open your eyes and never go back there.
Get therapy for childhood adversity.

Women see that you're still a boy emotionally. And they think you're the reason.

They don't think "hmm maybe his mom touched him and then locked him in the cupboard for 2 days"

Of course I want things to get better you dumb motherfucker. Why would I be on here if I saw my life as just fine and dandy? Are you actually retarded? The question is HOW do I just "walk it off"? What do I do during this process? I can't just sit on my ass and let time pass by as I still struggle with the same problems. Unlike most retards here who aren't willing to get off their ass and change their lives for the better, I am. I'm willing to do whatever it takes, it's just that I'm unsure of what to do.

so dude good luck.
btw did you realize you haven't even mentioned your lifegivers once in this thread?

It's all your responsibility? They aren't supposed to want to spend time with you?

You aren't good enough? Really?

They didn't disappoint you so many times you just want to forget they exist?

That's your problem and ALL your other problems come from it.

Get help dude. A therapist telling you what they should have done in that situation can lift burdens you've been carrying for ages, hence the alcoholism...

For me it turned out I got ADD too.
Gabor Maté has a video on youtube about attachment and brain development if you're interested...

further on reddit there's www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists your story belongs there.

dude if you're 19 and having trouble getting laid maybe you gotta change your attitude. I'm not gonna assume nothing about you but women are good at sensing bullshit and they cut that shit real fast. sensible girls look for competence and reliability in a guy, not big dicked macho-ness

basically I'm saying get a life. Have responsibilities, and don't talk about your life show em.

you'll be amazed at what you have already forgotten to ensure your survival

the less time you have for women the more they want you.

Appreciate the advice, and yes I'm currently seeing a therapist for the drinking stuff, and just for this type of shit in general. However you're flat out wrong in your assumptions about my life. Just being constructive here and don't mean to insult, but it's pretty fucking stupid to make assumptions about what happened in someone's life if they haven't told you. You basically sound like some internet scam artist trying to sum up my life in a few sentences so you can sound appealing and then sell a shitty product that doesn't work. No, my parents haven't abused me, and no, my parents know that I'm a mess and they've tried literally everything they can to understand my fears and problems. That's why they sent me to a therapist.

Dude just remember that all the pressure you feel to get laid is cultural. It's not real. Sounds like you can already get sex when you want it through prostitution, so don't beat yourself up about not getting "the real thing."

Im sorry to have disrespected your parents and I must be an idiot. Okay.
You're in denial bro and there is no reason whatsoever to get mad at me when youre the dude asking for help.

There's your truth. I don't jerk off to doing this but people either think I've done something bad when they don't understand the pain they are suddenly feeling or they are open to the idea.

But you are in angerdenial. So they don't play ANY ROLE WHATSOEVER in your problems?
ITS ALL YOU?

Have they ever said that they are sorry? what kinda college are you going to?

I feel a little insulted at you judging my competence over the internet. You basically just sound like some scam artist sucking dicks via the internet. Why should I trust your judgement that you made after reading 2 sentences of mine?

Maybe I'm the psychotherapy prof of masachusetts?

Do you know?


Do you get my point? Your argument is invalid. Denial detected denial detected

Yeah I totally agree man. I hate seeing those macho cunts in my old uni acting like they're the shit. But the thing that frustrated me the most is that they're the ones that typically talk to girls the most, and get laid the most. It fucking infuriates me sometimes just thinking about it.

you don't have to die for them you know? You are worth to be loved. Everybody is. Just when every time you're approaching a girl it is decided AGAIN whether you are worthy of love chances are you are going to overplay it. Because to your inner child your life depends on it.

If you pull your own weight and have dependents/responsibilities you gon make all the bitches wet without saying a word

I'm saying this because I'm you 3 years from now.
Metaphorically.

Don't ask for the truth if you're gonna deny the shit out of it when it is presented to you....


but I guess everybody has to figure it out for themselves.

Your therapist is an idiot that does what rich guys tell him to do. Your dad probably had a "talk" with him beforehand that involved some money.

So he'd never ask about them.

flatout wrong lol

op here is a pic of me next to my Ndad

Denial of what? Of trying to admit that there's some problem with my parents when there isn't? This is just blame shifting. I'd rather focus on what I can do now instead of dwelling on my past for reasons that do not exist.

I never said you did anything bad. Like I mentioned, I appreciate even the fact that someone gave enough of a fuck to reply to my message. It's just that I thought I should correct you in what you're wrong on. And yes, you are wrong in your assumptions because I've lived my life when I was younger, and it couldn't be better.

Of course they may play a role in my problems, but after talking to my therapist, it seems that the main reason is anxiety that I've had ever since I was young. That leads to shitty social skills, and lo and behold, that leads to problems with getting laid.

And again, I'm not judging your competence or poisoning the well to make my statement. My correction that I gave you is purely on the basis of the reality of my life, and about how the picture you're painting didn't accurately represent that.

I wish I had some influence and could highten the odds of you making it.

But now it's all up to you.
No more stupid fixation on the opposite gender.

From now on shit's gonna hurt but it's your way to freedom and love.

Just remember you can't die of existential angst when you keep focusing on your breath.

dude come on your not stupid. insecurity coming from your childhood? how are that and what I say at odds with one another.

I want you to see the irrationality you are wearing right now.

I'm not going to back down. I know I'm right so either call be a lune or idk punch a wall but I'm not going to retract what I said.

stop defending them. they don't deserve it. they fucking used you

Take this gently: You are not a special snowflake. What you are going through literally millions of people in first world countries have gone through. Grow a pair and figure it out and be happy you're not a 19 year old living in Somalia where whatever bullshit you're bitching about is the last thing on their mind.

You were born into a generation that needs things handed to them, and can't figure it out for themselves. Talk to your parents, or your grandparents. They have advice for you about what it is to be young and what it is to overcome. Don't wait for others to make your life, make it yourself.

And stop being such a whiny bitch. You may make it past 19 but for fucks sake I'm 44 years old and I would never fucking hire you because you're a whiny bitch. How do you expect to have a job and a career when you're such a cuck? The real world - that is the world that pays you to work a job and thus allows you to afford the shit you want - doesn't give a shit about this paragraph of whiny bullshit you typed.

Grow the fuck up and get over this skank and get a decent job that works you so you don't worry about this girl. Trust me, if you were anywheer near as put together as you think you are, you wouldn't be whining over this chick.

until now you never dared to go all the way.

Make them say it.

it's either you see things the way they are or you become this 44-year old deadpool

your choice.

And apparently therapists who are more experienced in this field than you are idiots all of a sudden? Why, because they flunked their school but somehow got the job? Or because their conclusions don't match your perception of who I am? What a nice way to define what makes a "good" therapist. This is the no-true-therapist fallacy. Fucking brilliant.

And apparently NOT ONLY is the therapist dumb, but they're following a conspiracy with my parents? This assumes that my parents don't really care about me, and are just blowing off money for no reason. Why would they do that? I know that they genuinely care about me. Or is THAT a conspiracy too? Good grief, if this is me in three years then I must be the most wet brained alcoholic to ever grace this planet.

ok what do your parents do in the evening.

Do they hold each other? do they kiss in front of you?

the therapist. what does he look like?
a man who is in total control of his life not giving a fuck?

Your parents chose him for you.

You didn't choose. Why not? why are they still doing everything for you like you're a toddler?

What do they do when you say something they dont like?

Ok lets do this. TEST ME. because I understand the need to verify.

is there shit they keep doing when you're around that they can't just stop for an hour?

do they tell you they work a lot for you?

all the alcoholics like us I met in my dungeoncrawl through the clubs of europe were not going to see it.

I'm one in 50 who does see it. Odds are against you bro in my reality.

everytime I see these feels thread I feel more and more empty, since these are some of the toughts I want to have but my rationality (brain, personality, whatever) prevents me to..

everytime my "heart" tries something my brain goes: lol no

The fortunate thing about this is that I am rarely depressed, since depression is not logical and I see no point in being in state of mental hurting, not comparing yourself to others and to social standards (have gf, wife, kids) helps...

not kissless but virgin 24yo, decent salary, few good friends I rarely see, partial agoraphobia (in my case I do not feel well when there is too much unknown people around me)

I think Im set for a rather lonely life. I want a good life, but I stand in line waiting for it, not chasing it, I believe if there is someone for me we will eventually meet,
If not, well I will not die of loneliness...

how do you know that they genuinely care about you?

They tell you the things that should be a given like it is a special prize? "I want you to feel good"

It's an order actually

if youre going to insult me you can answer my questions truthfully too right?

did you make this post to get some pointers or just for fucking baw attention? "Oh no your reality sucks I dont want that you must be crazy"

I can stay and do this with you but I could also take a shower now.

lets do this.

read up on narcissism "the drama of the gifted child" by alice miller. 150 pages or smth. everything you need to know

you don't have to accept anything as reality yet justs open your mind to the idea please

the best thing you can do as an evil parent is make your child believe it's his own fault

Thanks for the help. I'm really not expecting this problem to solve itself, or for the solution to get "handed" to me. I'm genuinely willing to work on myself.

And I don't like to whine, I just like to find a solution to my problem. And if that's what you don't want to hire, then I don't know who you would hire. Yes, I described my emotions a bit, but I just felt that that was necessary given what I'm telling random people on a forum. I usually don't come on these types of forums and bitch like this, but I just want any answer that could possibly solve my struggles.

And no, I'm not put together man. But like I said, I'm definitely working on it. I actually talked to my dad about this (and he used to have anxiety as well) and he said that you should try talking to ugly chicks first, and then once you do that, slowly work your way up. It's a slow process of moving up, but I can definitely tell it's working. The good thing is that if she doesn't like me I won't worry too much lol.

And yeah I definitely know that I wouldn't even be thinking about this girl, let alone paying hookers if I was just even average at getting laid. But now, like I said, I am actually talking to girls, just not banging them quite yet. Just gotta be patient, ya know? My social skills aren't bad so I believe that things will slowly fall into place given enough time.

Thanks for your advice man I really appreciate it.

Nice trips

Who's "them" exactly?

you don't appreciate it and yet you tell me that you do?
so even if I shit in your face you will tell me that you appreciate it?

Are you a monkey?

I upset you. I don't accept what you're saying I'm questioning your whole family and you are "appreciating my advice"?

Do you really believe that that shitty line works on any normal person?`

They get weirded out by that I'm super nice all the time and then I'm passive aggressive as fuck

THANK you for pointing it out I think they are my firsts!

Oh he's in denial about his narcissistic rich parents. They basically hate him every time he does something individually so now he has no identity and asks on b whats going on. It's a whole lot of pain when you realize your mom wasn't able to love you and held you at gunpoint with that non-existent love for as long as you can remember.

Here I found an excerpt that explains who they are:
You are MY child. I gave BIRTH to you. Do you know what THAT means? You are MY property. You belong to me! I expect you to do exactly what I say WHEN I say it. I tell you how you feel. I tell you what you need. I tell you what you enjoy. I tell you what sort of person you are. I tell you everything while you don’t EVER speak back to me! This is why you are nothing but rude, disrespectful and badly behaved. I don’t care how old you are or how mature you think you are, you will always be MY little child and you will always do AS you are told, otherwise you are NOTHING to me. Just behave like the little child that I EXPECT you to be. Nobody grows up in MY family. You are a child, you will always be a child, and I NEED for you to be a child. Do you know what this means? You ought to be completely submissive and obedient, each and every single time I talk to you, and virtually without exception. I’m so mad, so angry, so outraged that you would even DARE to grow up. I HATE you! Every time you try to assert yourself as an adult, I am reminded of how much I despise YOU. The fact that you’ve tried to grow up in front of me is like the biggest betrayal! I simply can’t believe you would do this to ME.

Of course I appreciate you trying to tell me stuff. I don't give a shit if you're vulgar about it, I'm just looking past that and trying to understand your point. And I'm saying thanks because you're on here trying to get something across to me that might matter to me.

And trust me when I say this, my daily is not to blame. They're the best parents I could ever ask for. They don't spoil me, I've just saved up a lot of money. It's never thrown at me like that.

Is it upsetting to hear what you've said to me? Sure. But I'm just trying to get to the bottom of your message to me, and when I do, it makes sense. So be as vulgar and insulting as you want, i don't care. As long as you're staying real and making a cogent point it's fine.

I'm certain you are in fact a good person because you're taking all the blame. Your caregivers have been laughing at you being human because they are not anymore

I'm sorry it had to be like this. I am still fucking friendly to everybody and I see through it but it is sooooo deeply ingrained in my behaviour htat it will take years until I will be rude to anyone.

I judge your hterapist because I've been with dudes like him for a year or so before I realized what a tool that type of person is.

I have experience you have not. I worked on myself endlessly and I was ok with myself but Ndad always finds a reason to give me some TOUGH LOVE.

So now he can fucking rot in hell and die and I'll be happy on the day that it happens.

Because he sacrificed all of us methaphorically for his fucking ego.

He is a monster and he's been chasing me manipulating me and bringing me down with "jokes" for 2 decades. because he hates the fact that I see through him. He hates the fact that his sons are smarter than he is.

My dad hates it. Because he looks dumb next to us. So since I was 6 he started selling me to everybody as the loser. Telling my most embarassing stories to bystanders.

And all the people pretending there wasn't something seriously wrong with our family.

You can't even feel anger when you're clearly angry. Dude I don't mean you harm. Try to understand how fucked up this whole thing is and why so little of us ever break out.

What amazes me is not necessarily how retarded that was, but how an actual human being typed that and sent it out to the internet to be there for all of eternity. You've officially helped me by making me realize that I'm not the most brain dead person in the world. Thanks for the effort.

its from people who share their fucked up experience as means to be understood for their awful experiences.

But your dad would call it brain dead. So you do to because you are scared of punishment.

Imagine a boy that has been indoctrined by his parents.

What would he say ? Your superficial judgement is their imprint on you but you arent that mean just because you can now are you?

suddenly you like things they like? say things they say? do things they do? as some kind of holy what do you call it? atonement!
Yes you do the mindless shitty status things they do these days and you see it as atonement for straying from the only rightful path.


Do you like gory anime? have you watched berserk?

in there narcissism is shown down to it's very root. And it played a role in me realizing what was oging on so yeah call me braindead like your dad would for watching this gay japanese faggot comic.

Your parents are still scared of punishment by their parents so they always behave as mainstream as possible,.
mysogynistic, broad general shitty statements over and over and over.

Being with family is work and if theres a fight you feel guilty for days?

you can travel to the other end of the planet and their shitty judgements will still ruin everything for you.

They forced themselves into your head and they are still doing it. When you feel bad during an interaction with them it's not you misinterpreting. You don't need a drink. They are that horrible

they arent the good family with the weak link.

they are an emotional garbage facility and you are their scapegoat.

They wore you down since you were little until you became a teenage alcoholic. FUCK THEM
WHY CANT YOU GET ANGRY dude

if you can roaar like a lion within the next 5 seconds youre right im wrong everything dandy

a fucking teenage alcoholic.....

can you imagine how fucking sad that is?
can you even feel sadness at this point?

it's the most fucked up thing when parents clip wings..

it's never been you you understand? the biggest problem you have are your family.

>Plain and simple, I can't really get laid.
Just start and end with this.
This is literally the only thing you're hung up on.

and then all these mean faggots that are in your situation come along and say the words you want to hear.

you are a pathetic addict and you just need to get your act straight.

Get a business suit and apply for a job. and then go to the gym 10 times a week and check your biceps 20 times a day.

Then get a lady to rip out your hair everywhere and buy some gucci sunglasses and THEN youll be ok.

No then people will THINK you might be ok.

And that's EVERYTHING to them

but thats not reality and you if you only think hard for a minute you'll realize how fucking unhappy they always have been.

They opted for a reality that sucks and isn't true.
But that's not THE reality because there is love and friendship and interest and feeling really good without having to do anything for it.

But your mind is silent in survival mode.

your aloofness isn't your biggest strength, it's what separates you from people that are really nice to their friends without expecting anything in return.

You mustve read a million books. Why does your everyday life differ so much from the books?

When youve had enough you will stop playing and then you'll realize that they drop you in the blink of an eye if you go against them.

If they genuinely cared they'd never do that. They'd never give their child the responsibility for the relationship.

They tried and I'M almost certain one of your parents is not as bad.

Whos your childhood hero? what is his story?

But there never was and never will be a couple where one is perfectly healthy and the other is not. It's always both