Why was it so good?

Why was it so good?

Why does the soundtrack have any business being as amazing as it was?

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m.youtube.com/watch?v=IeqtAB1WgEw
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It was unbelievably shitty. Started out kind of promising, but after that super stretched out scene at the church all hope was lost.

> le Tarantino-esque hyperviolence
Gets boring after four seconds

> le gentlemen doing hyperviolence
Cringy from the beginning

> le ass-scene and girl speaking like Tarzan
Just why?

It wasn't as good as everyone made it sound. It was just alright.

>It was unbelievably shitty
Kill yourself. You're what's wrong with this board.

Reddit shit. Try to be subtle with your b8 and shilling next time, tremendous faggot

> kys

Damnit, you got me, the one argument I can't come back from.

What's so good about it? Why is Colin Firth so mind-numbingly boring and non-versatile?

>from the director of Kick Ass

It was a decent popcorn action flick, and nothing more.

Quality: 5/10
Fun: 8/10

it was pretty bad

I didn't say it was good. I said it was "just alright".
It doesn't matter how valid your points are, if you start out by saying a 5/10 movie is "unbelievably shitty" your points are tainted by proxy.

Are you saying I should have saved "unbelievably shitty" until the end of my post?

I don't think it is a 5/10 movie. I think it's a 2/10 at best. Sure, the start was alright, but summed up I really, really didn't like it.

This movie was such garbage. Can't believe a grown man came up with this shit.

People are going autistic over this movie.

The bar fight was fun, and I had hope for it then, but quickly become apparent what kind of movie it was with the church scene.

Strung together narrative to piece together "cool" scenes the creators wanted in there movie. With the internet however, gifs of the decent scenes can be watched over and over again while ignoring how bad the rest of it is, or how out of place a fight is.

Why will she never shit on my face and chest?

>Are you saying I should have saved "unbelievably shitty" until the end of my post?
Or just said something that doesn't make you sound 8.
>I think it's a 2/10 at best
If you think Kingsman is 2/10 you need to watch more bad movies. Watch Night of A Thousand Cats or Nine Lives or Hirokin The Last Samurai.
You need to learn what a truly terrible movie is.

It was tiring to watch, my eyes were bleeding after the church scene

>what kind of movie it was with the church scene.
Fuck off nu-right storweenie. Boo hoo crawling in my foreskeenzs. If you reject a movie based only on your idiotic half baked """ideology""' you deserve to see your mom and sister get gang blacked.

Spotted the triggered christcuck from Sup Forums

user you might have jumped the gun there. I don't think he mentioned any ideology at any point.

When judging a movie I think it is fair to consider the circumstances in which it was made. The first you mention had a budget of $1500 according to Wikipedia, no source though. And the second one is an indie film. Kingsmen was a huge production with all the resources it needed available. Yet it turned out as something a poor 9-year old would whip up.

It's shit. Only weebs and betas like it.

>they deserved to die, they were bigoted Christians!

You really need to watch some of those movies.
There are so many things that make a movie bad besides what I think you're aware of. Basic rules of editing, set design, sound design, pacing, continuity etc.
Kingsman's only real flaw is it's corny plot/writing. The acting, special effects, editing, foley, choreography, wardrobe, and all the rest of that stuff was AT LEAST competently done. Seriously try and find Hirokin The Last Samurai and watch it. You don't know how many ways a movie can fuck up until you see something like that.

>they deserved to die, they were Protestants
ftfy

stopped watching it half way thru

It was comfy as fuck.

Only cringe moment was the director/writer being sooo sure every guy in the world has an anal fetish that the princess offers the guy her asshole if he wins.
They even film him entering her.

Dude, I fucking love female assholes, but at least 30 percent of all guys and a way higher percentage of girls were sickened by that stuff.

>It was unbelievably shitty
Yes
>Started out kind of promising
No, it was shit from the cringey epic 3D title sequence and only got worse

One of the worst movies I've ever seen and it physically hurts to know that people are stupid enough to have enjoyed it

It is not about religion you stupid fucks. It was a fucking pointless, uninspired action scene. If James Bond starts kicking everyone's butt in the local deli because (insert contrived reason here), I'm not going to applaud the scene, I am going to ask why the fuck the scene exist in such a movie.

If you disagree, explain why you think the scene works.

Literally Reddit: The Flick

Yet another milquetoast action flick that did nothing new and had that typical fucking tone-deafness that poisons 99% of British movies.k

Kingsman is just a jumped up flick about a chav finding something more in life and it's un-fucking-memorable.

The same people who creamed their cargo shorts over John Wick ate up this shit sandwich because they watch movies they hope they can talk to their fathers about.

>5/10

It cannot possibly be rated higher than a 3/10 to anyone with a little bit of taste

THANK YOU

John Wick was fucking trash and I can't believe this board likes it

Like I've been telling the other guy, if you think Kingsman is a legitimately bad movie it's only because you don't know what legitimately bad movie looks like.
Manos The Hands of Fate is a movie. don't forget that.

Most fun I've had watching a movie in like 10 years.

> le ass-scene
>not wanting to fuck a skandinavian princess up the ass
What has the world come to

>it's shit, but there's smellier shit out there, therefore I'll give it a 5/10

Rating scales shouldn't be defined by how much worse a movie can be, but rather how much better a movie can be, and you can get a lot better than this pile of crap

Yeah, the fact that worse movies exist doesn't make it any better

I design my rating scale starting with the best movies and then going down
Guess what? There are better movies than fucking Kingsman that land at the 5 spot, and even the 4 spot, and even the 3 spot
So 2/10 it is

Your way of using a number scale is completely based on how you feel, not how movies actually measure up against one another which is the whole point of ranking movies. You might as well not even bother using numbers.

Manos the Hands of Fate is a 0
Kingsman is a 5
Citizen Kane is a 10

John Wick actually had action scenes that weren't cancerous

It was as lifeless and by the numbers as a marvel capeshit.

Competant, but nowhere near good.

>They even film him entering her.


Hello, you retard.

Your scale cuts off a lot of movies that are too bad to go on your scale. If your personal scale goes into negative numbers then fine but that's just confusing.

>arguing autistically about a number scale

It's a piece of shit who cares

Not really, they all get a 0
At that point the movies are so bad that it doesn't matter that one is slightly better than an other, they're all shit

What you consider bad actually spans from mediocre to truly atrocious. If you like generalizing that broadly then don't let me stop you but it makes it seem like you don't really know movies.

>but at least 30 percent of all guys and a way higher percentage of girls were sickened by that stuff.
WHy do you care?
>They even film him entering her.
nope

>a way higher percentage of girls

I was on a date with a semi platonic friend and it un-awkwardly broached the subject of anal. Ended up butt fucking her that night.

>it's a Sup Forums is suddenly prudish about anal sex even though you can find videos of kittens getting murdered and people injecting shit into their peeholes here episode

>anecdotal evidence
>meaning anything

I was out hiking with a friend and he got struck by lightning

EGGSHY

MANNAHS MAKETH MANN

The church scene was too much it jumped the shark right then and there

It never recovered after but still decent

>I had anal sex
>Your friend tragically died in a freak accident

Me > (you)

i hated this movie. it was the worst movie of 2015.

everything about it is terrible

Tell me about the church scene. Why do people get triggered by it?

I was much more 'triggered' by the final scene than the church scene desu senpai.

The un-shown implications are just horrifying. The only reason the mom didn't brutally murder her baby was because she was warned to lock them away.

How many millions of moms recovered from their temporary insanity to find the mangled remnants of their kids covering their hands?

How many husbands regained their senses to find themselves smashing their wives' head to pieces with a hammer?

Literally millions of people must have died horribly in that five minutes of bullshit, even if it wasn't shown on screen.

Maybe it's autism, but I found it hard to just 'enjoy the ride' with that going on.

Better than more recent Bond movies.

I'm with you.

I had to turn off Revenge of the Sith once the Emperor had them start killing everyone. I still don't know how it ends.

I hope by that you mean Specter and Quantum of Solace.

Yep love it

m.youtube.com/watch?v=IeqtAB1WgEw

It was a good action and bloody scene but some reviewers praised it as the best shit ever so contrarians gotta call it absolutely shit. Plus it happened in some anti-obama evangelical church so pol fags took it far up the ass.

Huh, I did consider this but I didn't actually think much about it till now.

Yeah, that's pretty dark.

funnily enough the same film had Obama die horribly

maybe you just have horrible "taste" and are a manchild. And the others are right.

>soundtrack
>amazing

They literally used the song Bonkers TWICE in this movie.

>insert contrived reason here
It was the entire plot of the fucking movie.

Good fun. Don't know what the problem with the church scene is.

>30 minutes of purgatory have been subtracted from your suffering
Thank you for Correcting The Reformation!

It was actually a lot better than I expected. Not a masterpiece, but quite enjoyable.

I really enjoyed Sam Jackson and his chemistry with gazelle.

Reddit-tier kys pleb

I feel like that was a big point of the movie. That's why it bothers me people glorify the church scene.

That's what made the anal scene so stupid. It wasn't funny on its own, let alone after the implication of all that violence.

t. lutheran cuck

It had some enjoyable action sequences, but when it tried to get political it became irritating.
>People are CONTROLLED by their PHONES
>Rich people are BAD
>Overpopulation MAY or MAY NOT be an issue
>Pugs weren't a mistake

Great movie. A lot of fun.

>some underaged faggot on tv knows nothing about movies

Truly shocking tbqhwyf

birthmoviesdeath.com/2015/07/17/film-crit-hulk-smash-kingsman-and-the-maybe-genius-of-non-winking-satire
Literally the mic drop on Kingsman