Tell me your darkest secret b. I once swallowed my own cum accidentally after busting a nut...

tell me your darkest secret b. I once swallowed my own cum accidentally after busting a nut. the girl i was with laughed at me, i got angry and slapped the ever loving shit out of her. not my proudest moment.

Getting cum in your mouth is one thing, swallowing is never accidental.

Also

>Implying you're not a virgin and this isn't a ridiculous LARP

faggot.

He's right, you know?

I sucked an on duty cop's cock in a public toilet.

I thought I was going to get arrested for sure.

For sucking dick?

niece sat on my lap at the pool. Trouble was I had a raging erection from watching the girls.

She wiggled it between her ass crack and gave me a couple of back and forths which I am sure was intentional.

I'm 33, she is 11. I went into the changing room and came all over the place.

Yeah. I thought it was a trap, cops here have been known to set them up. He actually wanted head though, and I gladly gave it to him.

>having such a fragile ego
you sound like a real bitch.

I wrote a 25k word essay on Batman v Superman and a 13k word essay on Big Hero 6.
I write light-hearted, cheesy romance fiction.
When I was younger, my dad used to shave me, cut my nails, trim my pubes, pop pimples on my face and back, would smell my penis to make sure it smelled nice, would do the same for my armpits, would sometimes shower with me, and mocked the size of my penis several times. This went on until I was around 16 and he would also beat me if I ever denied him.
I have a 3.5 inch penis

I threatened my roommate with a blade and was expelled from university.

>I have a 3.5 inch penis
flacid, right?
not that bad

...

I once killed a fly ALIVE and I don't regret it!

da fuck is wrong with you people

For a brief period of my life I was getting deep into spying on women in restrooms and locker rooms. The first few times I snuck into a woman's bathroom and hid in one of the stalls. Women would come in and I could hear them pissing and shitting while touching myself. After a while I began setting up cameras in the toilet paper dispensers and eventually I set up a few in the toilet bowl itself. I got some great footage of women pissing and reply to this post or your mom will die in her sleep tonight. I'll never forget that time in my life.

y must u do dis?

Thats hot

oh well.

y

You're awful

>get laughed at for something genuinely funny
>chimp out
are you retarded?

i have a 3.5 incher as well but i also weigh 320lbs so i must be packing at least 4.5

swallowing your own cum is no secret at all. when i was young and started to experiment with my body it ofc included eating my own cum. needed to know how it tastes. everybody does.

Fucked my sister-in-law in a drunken stupor about ten years ago (not even sure how I got it up, we were both absolutely wrecked); we both agreed to forget about it at the time, but she and I have been getting kinda hostile these last couple years, pretty sure she's waiting until I really piss her off to blow me in...

I suck off my 71 yr old neighbor about once a month. His cock is fucking huge. He makes me clean his ripe cheesy cock and smears his smelly cock all over my face. I love being his cock slave.

>OP eats his own cum
>girl laughs at him for being such a faggot
>his fragile ego is shattered
>he slaps her, as no gay man makes a fist unless it's going in an asshole

what started this arrangement?

just realized, i miss cutting

piece of caca

Ok

>Not aware of Mike pences new "give dome, eat chrome" policy

>Became buds with him when he was trying to repair a pull cord. Talked a bit hes a widower. Ive always been bi. Wife was away one time. We had a couple beers in his garage. He wasnt wearing any underwear with his shorts. I got caught starring at his huge cock. He closed the door. Took it out. I got on my knees. He hadnt showered in days. I loved the scent. He rolled back his skin and slapped and rubbed his huge cock on my face. That was 4 years ago.

why not give it another shot? maybe you can do it safely now. maybe you're in control.

darkest secret?

I'm leading a girl on just to fuck her and then never call her again

That’s like average American at this point

Ah the DENNIS method

Used to fuck around with my step sis when we were 11.

A few weeks back my 11 year old step sister and cousin called me in their room while they were both topless and then asked me to stay

Whoo man

Fuck you

Faggot

I've been sabotaging my wife's birth control...though nothing's come of it yet so it's entirely possible I'm just fucking stupid

I feel you. I accidentally walked in on 13yo sister in law changing. She was fully nude and winked at me, didnt even cover herself. I said sorry and went to the toilet to cum buckets

someones projecting

Got drunk and let a gay friend fuck me in the ass. At the time it sucked and hurt, but now the thought turns me on.

I let a girl give me her la aids and genital herpes/warts

>la aids

wat?

I'm only a little jealous... ;_;

one time, I was so desperate and horny that I stole a few of my sisters and moms panties and bras and came into them then after a few more loads on them I later trashed them..

like aids but spanish, I guess

Most glorious tits I've ever seen were on a 13-year-old severely autistic girl who sprinted out of a locker room completely bare-ass naked...I feel like a fucking pedo even thinking about it, but she was absolutely fucking stunning...

I found a stash of nudes from a mentally disabled 17-year-old I worked with once. she had the most incredible body and didn't look retarded. not my proudest fap.

I crie every time. Every single time.

open

>In the military
>Friends with user (call him D)
>Don't see each other for 6 months and I go to sit with him he says "seats taken"
>Thought he was joking so I sit down
>Wasn't joking asks me to leave....wtf
>Other friends tell me he has been acting like a dick ever since he started seeing a girl (call her A)
>He deploys
>I arrange to run into A
>Slowly befriend her over 3 months time (go for coffee a few times and end up texting non stop for a month)
>Both drinking and texting one night and I convince her to play 20 questions
>Starts innocent but soon I know that she loves being throat fucked, sucking dick, rough sex, and thinks I'm hot
>She asks me if I want to come over to watch netflix
>Watch a few episodes of AHS and a few beers in she asks if she can get more comfortable....of course
>Lays her head in my lap....perfect
>Play with her hair and do light pulling motions every 2-3 min...can tell shes super into it
>She starts doing little muffled moans and eventually literally says fuck it and gets up and starts kissing me
>I pull my dick out while she is kissing me and literally move her head from my mouth to my cock
>Proceed to throat fuck her while stuffing 2 fingers in her pussy
>I cum down her throat she cums all over the couch
>Says it's literally the hottest thing she has ever experienced and she has never cum so hard
>5 min later crying her eyes out (I can't believe I did this to D)
>Comfort her and tell her we will keep it a secret

>By the time he was coming home she has swallowed 150+ of my loads
>I fucked her in his bed, in her parents bed, in her parents hot tub, in their new condo he had never been in, on their couch, on their kitchen island, and on their balcony

>She told me she wanted to be with me and break up with him, I told her no and made her tell him everything
>Saw him when he came back..he avoided eye contact
>Moral of the story don't treat people like shit for no reason and they won't find reasons to fuck you over

>Pic related

I feel so fucking emasculated my dick is nowhere near that big and I can't shoot cum at all it just dribbles out and I'm way younger than that guy.

I'M NOT A REAL MAN DAMMIT

Had a similar experience. She had the most perfect 32dd i've ever seen. So firm and perfect.

Why are handies so hot

Because the only part of a girl you can see is her hand and the rest is a man and you're a faggot?

open?

I want to shoot cum with the force of 1000 suns. It's not fair.

...

Nope

Annnnnd?

user I think you might be blind as fuck

Just being safe

> dubs of truth
> also, the only true post on Sup Forums ever

Eat shit and die

bobs

I left of course. Couldn’t even look at them afterwards

I was supposed to do recon for my bro to find out if a girl likeed him and I ended up just making out with the girl

...

ex-wife came into town with our 14yr daughter, who I haven't seen in years, and left her at my place without warning in the middle of the night so she could go get trashed. (real catch there, I know). so i give her a blanket and she crashes out on the couch. woke up later cause i needed to piss, checked in on her. found out three things real quick.

1 - she snores like a chainsaw.
2 - she sleeps in the nude.
3 - she already shaves her pussy

i high-tailed it out of there real quick. but fuck if I didn't rub one out before i went back to sleep.

There's a good chance that my niece is actually my daughter.

>b28
>had 15 year old GF
>jelly bitches?!
>she was bisexual
>would let me have 3 somes with her gorgeous friends
>one night we are watching movies and her next door neighbor came over
>he was a dude she knew her entire life
>seemed a little bit gay to me.
>during the movie we put a blanket over all 3 of us
>I start fingering my bitch and she starts playing with my dick
>between movies friend goes to the bathroom
>I remove my shorts and my GF goes down on me and starts sucking me off
>she was under the covers but the friend came back into the room and caught us
>we just laughed about it
>movie starts
>I want more sucky sucky
>get her to go down on me, this time right in front of her friend
>friend tries to watch movie but I see him keep checking us out
>can tell he's getting horny
>I grab his hand and place it on my bitches tit
>he pulls it away but I do it again and this time he starts fondling her breast.
>I pull up her shirt exposing her tits to him
>I also push down the covers all the way so he has a clear view of my GF sucking my dick
>I take my GF's hand and place it on her friends dick
>after about 5 minutes of this I tell my GF to suck her friend of.
>she's hesitant but after a little convincing of both of them she does it

..cont..

>be me
>be bug seeker
>post on Craigslist
>found faggy carrier
>get HIV
>spread it
>???
>Profit

Fuck you

hahaha nice one

About a year ago my gf got a new job and had to travel out of town once a month for her work. The very first time she left my friend (who lived in the town she travelled to) kept making jokes about how he could ‘steal my girl’ and I remember telling him that I could trust her so I just laughed off his jokes. Sure enough he texts me the day she’s coming back home that he fucked her and sent pics of her sleeping naked. I didn’t say anything to her because I wanted to see if she would say anything but she never did. The weirdest part is that it’s been a year and she still fucks him every time she’s there but now I get my friend to send me snaps of them fucking and I’m so fucking turned on by it.

She still thinks I don’t know.

Story time?

I could never be you.

goddammit

Cunt fuck

Die

..cont..
>I'm ready to get fucked so I pull my GF off her friend and pull her ton top of me
>my dick goes right into her soaking wet cunt very easily and we start fucking right in front of her friend
>I tell the friend to lick her pussy while I fuck her
>he goes for it and climbs down between our legs and starts licking away at my bitches clit
>every now and again I can feel his tongue lick across my cock as well
>don't say anything about it, it's actually turning me on
>I've never had a gay experience before
>the more he licks her pussy, the more he licks my cock
>before long he is taking big long licks of my shaft from my balls right up to the head that is inside my bitches twat
>he shoves his tongue right up inside my GF's pussy, right up alongside my dick
>I start fucking my GF faster and my dick slips out of her pussy a couple times
>first couple of times the friend licks the juices off my cock and then sticks it back in my GF
>but on the 3rd or 4th time, he surprises the fuck out of me by taking my entire cock into his mouth and starts blowing me
>my GF is looking right down at her friend and I hear her moan how hot she thinks it is.
>on about the 3rd time my cock slips out of the GF's pussy and he starts sucking it, he sucks it for a very long time and I can even her him slurping and sucking on my dick as he sucks me
>I can't believe how turned on by this I am and I actually want to try sucking his cock as well
>I tell everyone to switch posistions and I switch with the friend so that he is lying on his back and my GF is riding him
>seeing another guy fucking my GF gets my cock throbbing
>I slide right down between their legs and start lapping away at my GF's clit
>I really want to lick the friends cock though so I dont' waist any time and I start lapping away at his shaft as it slides in and out of my GF
>his cock is covered in her juices and I love the way it slides over my tongue

Weak

Weakkkk

Ehh I’m already a future school shooter and I’d rather not catch a case before I fulfill my destiny

>b16
>has friend that I don't talk to that often
>one day I visit him
>qt 13 yr old sister opens door
>asks if her brother is there and we talk for a bit then I leave

I really want to date her but not sure if I should or not

I fucked with my adoptive brother.

I know a guy who accidentally fucked his brother before he was sure it’s his brother. Then continued to do it afterwards

Hot! Me too, but I just run into liars. No bugs yet.

I used to cum on my step mothers bathroom wall (we didn't live with her family)

Kill yourself cuck beta faggot

i opened the door and once walked the dinosaur

How's this a secret?

lol

I’m assuming bug seeker is someone who looks for stds but why

..cont..
>the more I lick his cock, the more I'm enjoying it and really want to take his cock into my mouth
>I begin fondling his balls as I try and get the nerve to suck this boy off
>finally I just go for it as I wrap my hand around the guys shaft and pull it out of my GF's pussy
>without any hesitation I take his entire cock into my mouth and I start blowing him right there in front of my GF
>I hear her let out a gasp as she see's what is going on
>it turns me on even more knowing she's watching me suck dick
>I begin sliding my mouth up and down the length of this boys cock
>feels absolutely amazing and better than I ever could have imagined
>I get into it more and more and just keep sucking this boy off
>can hear him moaning louder and louder and I knew he's going to cum
>the thought of him cumming in my mouth turns me on so much I just keep sucking him, trying to give him the best blowjob that I can
>he lets out a loud moan and starts cumming in my mouth
>my GF sees that her friend is cumming and she moves her face right down beside mine and licks away a the cum oozing out of my mouth
>I swallow the first couple spurts but have to pull off and my GF takes his dick into her mouth and laps up his semen
>when he's finished cumming me and my GF start making out with out mouths covered in cum
>I ram my cock back into my Gf's pussy and fuck her like never before
>we make out as we fuck like animals
>within minutes I'm ready to cum and ram my dick as far into the slut as it will go as I fill her with my load
>this sets her off as well and her pussy clamps down around my cock as she is overcome with an orgasm
>after we all calmed down we went back to watching a movie but it wasn't long before we all got horny again
>this time my GF said she wanted to see me and the friend 69ing so we sucked each other off right in front of her while she watched and masturbated
>we came in each others mouth and once we were relaxed we took turns eating my GF's cunt

..cont...
That first time was about a year ago, and since than we've had 5 3-somes with this friend.

I broke up with my GF about 3 months ago but I still go over to the friends house and we suck each other off 3 or 4 times a week.

I have grown to love sucking cock more than I enjoyed having sex with my GF.