That one faggot sitting alone

>that one faggot sitting alone

>that other faggot who flips out when you keep banging the back of his seat by accident

dont be either of these two.

>that faggot alone behind the keyboard with a life so meaningless they post pepes on Sup Forums

by accident? are you really that clumsy?
yeah I'm that faggot

>that one guy that brings his gf and forces himself onto her so that the whole cinema has to see her struggle against him
>that girl that uses her phone during the movie but is inept to use Nightly and lower the screen brightness
>those people that make chewing noises or eat at all
>those people that sigh during long contemplatory scenes
>those people that are late to the movie
>those people that stand up during credits

>>stand up during credits
what the fuck

>those people that make chewing noises or eat at all
>those people that sigh during long contemplatory scenes
>those people that are late to the movie
>those people that stand up during credits

i do all of these. i also holler and shout yeehaw trying to start a hollering match with other males like in the indian cinemas and some american theatres

>that guy who farts loudly every time a loud noise or jumpscare happens

Once or twice is an accident.
Any more and you're doing it on purpose.

>that guy whose mom covers his eyes when there's a sex scene

You are the first to get shot. Don't cry that you dindu nuffin when you are bleeding in the shit covered floor

>that one guy that brings his gf and forces himself onto her so that the whole cinema has to see her struggle against him

She needs a hero like you to save her user :)

>banging someone else's seat
I hope you get AIDS.

this thread just hit me and I can't stop laughing, it's not even funny
my mom still does this if we go to the movies together

also
>that guy that claps during credits
>the guy that heckles the previews
>the children that play green screen
>subhumans that bring actual fucking infants to the movies
>that guy that cannot stop asking questions

>They bang and kick my seat
>I eat & play with wrappers, snort & sniffle, cough & splutter

That'll show em

>that guy creating a ruckus from being hit by my rubber bands

>By accident
>Like thirty times in 10 minutes
Yeah sure buddy

I got thrown out of the theater for punching the little faggot but it was worth it

>That guy who turns around and glares because talking to gf quietly during previews
You were alone to see Zootopia, come on m8, I know you're here

>live in small southern town
>have the theater all to myself on sunday morning showings
>half the time i'm let in for free since the workers are always hungover and running late to open

Going to the movies alone fucking rules

I went to see 2001 in the theater in March and this nu male guy an his tumblr gf in the row in front of me laid down in the seats an started actually fucking during HAL's death scene. Loud slurpy noises, muffled giggles, noticeable thrusting. I was fuming. I will never go to the theater ever again after that

>he sits through the credits

fucking retard

Sitting alone at my local art house waiting for Moonlight to start. ZFG.

>keep banging the back of his seat
>by accident

Stop being fat, fat fuck, or I'll hit your lardy chin with my fist.

this
>no debating which movie to see
>no talking during movies
>no person moving around right next to you
the last time i saw a movie with a friend he got pissed because i wouldn't go see some movie with rdj being a lawyer with a dying father (friend's dad had died like a year earlier...fuck that noise, i ain't gonna sit next to a crybaby). i forget what we actually saw (all the movies were barely 5/10 at that time), but the fucker fell asleep and snored for 3/4 of the movie

>the guy who shouts quips during the movie
>they're actually funny and the theatre laughs, validating him
>you wish you had thought of it first

>tfw mother and I watch Spartacus and spend hours talking about cocks
weird feeling mang, especially because she's normally a good old catholic lady

>Go watch it again
>Say the same comment
>Crickets...
I was an awkward kid

>credits start rolling
>friends are ready to leave
>tell them I want to watch the credits because I want to show appreciation for the hard work that went into making the movie
>they start getting huffy and pissy when I stay seated
>they leave without me
>make the decision never to go out to the movies with them again because they act like fucking autists for no reason