Well, Sup Forums, I've lost at life now. I've hit a road block that I don't think I can get through at this point...

Well, Sup Forums, I've lost at life now. I've hit a road block that I don't think I can get through at this point. I think this might be the night I kill myself.

>be 19
>barely graduate high school due to an arrest before graduation
>been trying for so fucking long to get a job
>ask Sup Forums a few months ago for help
>use advice to get my first real job as a dishwasher at a local Mexican restaurant
>two weeks later, they tell me they no longer need my help due to slow business
>zoom forward to 2 days ago
>go to our local paper and sign a contract to deliver newspapers on wednesdays
>my route is one of 6 others in my town of 3,500
>given papers today, with list of houses
>list is so disorganized I can't make sense of it or where to start
>have to have deliver to 2 long pages of people
>couple hours pass, and I can somewhat make sense of the whole thing
>still struggling to make deliveries
>had to call the paper to tell them I've made too many mistakes to even complete the list properly and that it'd be better if I quit now so as to not cause anymore customer complaints and problems
>they say okay, and I drop the papers off at the office for someone else to deliver peoperly
>drive back home in shame, tears in my eyes
>lied and told my grandmother that I did pretty well
>she thinks I'm a leech and a failure as it is
>nowhere else will take me for employment, can't move anywhere else to try for other jobs
>realized I fucked up a job that elementary kids do all the time on fucking bikes
>mfw elementary kids are doing better at life than I am
>mfw my life is going nowhere
>mfw there's no point in trying anymore

Should I just myself, or do you guys think there's something that can still be done?

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Do it. Save some resources for the people with hope.

19? Awesome. Start learning to program now, be great at it in 2 - 3 years and make lots of fucking money.
try freecodecamp

Wow... I'm tearing up at your post. Don't know whether it's because you're a total retard or because I feel sorry for you. Well, your life's shit, no doubting that. Don't have any advice, sorry xx.

I never considered it, but I could take a look

It's fine. I'm likely not the first person to make a post like this

Seriously man, I went through the same shit. Tough it out and stick with it. Do what you gotta fucking do and keep working at it. No one ever figures their shit out. Maybe you need to move, or you could train youraelf online with a new skill. I suggest social media analytics; its easy to learn and companies like to pay freelancers for reports.

I suppose if you're really desperate, sell everything you have, and leave to go with the amish, or monks. They'll take you (I think). I'd like to live with the amish ones day. Fucking a tight little Amish girl with a nice bush and plump tight ass. Aghh shed take it up the ass too. Mmmm. And a lot of Amish communities today do use some technologies so it wont be all bad

Well, since you were in the same spot, I guess I could check it out

Well, you took my mind off my problems. I think I'm going to go search if there's any comics on that. So thanks.

You're 19, it's not that serious. You have plenty of time to figure out what you can and/or want to do. Relax and just do what you can to improve yourself.

I guess. I think this is one of those days where my anxiety takes over more than on others.

What you should do is watch boogie2988s early videos from years ago where he talks about anxiety, suicide and his shitty life. Got me through some tough times.

youtu.be/kgN8JZ-uSyk

Here's one

Keep going brother. There is so much more to do. You're worrying too much about what other people think. I have a buddy who got kicked out by his parents when he was 18, dropped out of highschool, and lived in a van for six months. He had a heart attack and only has 30% heart function. He got real depressed for a while but then he drove out to Iowa and worked a couple jobs there (with an arrest record). He eventually got bored with them, drove back to our home town and became a paralegal (without a degree) to make his boss' gig paperless. Now he even makes his own beats on soundcloud. This motherfucker wouldn't die if you shot him and he just keeps going no matter how many times he gets shut down. KEEP GOING user!!! You have so much potential, you just have to keep going!

Shit that never happened. The end

like lambs to the slaughter

If you don't believe me, then that just means that my boy is a goddamned legend, so you can go fuck yourself, user.

...

Thanks. These are pretty helpful.

hey user literally just join the army i did it and made my parents super proud and now have a steady job in the army and it takes me places. note i am not a recruiter fag. i was a washed up POS just like u. there are waviers for arrest and don't mention wanting to commit suicide

I believed it up until you said he became a para legal with no qualifications

Also, try and get yourself a gym membership. I started back in my Sophomore year of highschool and its been the only thing that's given me faith since. Go to the gym, do some warmups and test your five rep maxes for Squat, Bench, Deadlift, and Overhead press. Then go to strengthstandards.co/#/ and fill out the info for your bodywight and maxes etc. and start the madcow 5x5. Its a great place to start building strength, and head over to the /fit/ discord and the boys there can help you figure out nutrition and will help you move forward. Also, is a great idea. I intend to join myself once I finish my officer training.

Yeah, we were all surprised, but they had too much paper shit and my boy had previously worked a tech job so they hired him. You just never know, user.

...

Man, what an old fucking meme. It wasn't even that great when it came around the first time.

Why has no one ever heard of temp agencies, they find you work. I started at 10$ hr and got hired on in four months and I'm making 20$ hr

Sup homie, read your story and I feel for you. Gonna drop some advice to help get you on the right track.
First things first: You aren't a failure, youre a young dude just trying to figure this life shit out. Theres no manual for this. No one knows what theyre doing. You are in the same place as the majority of your peers. There is hope, don't give up yet!
Second: This whole "my life is going no where should I just end it thing" has got to stop. Your life thus far has only been going on for 19 years, ya dig? The first 13 of those years were basically out of your control. Hell I'd say you really dont start making any choices of your own that actually impact your life until youre 15-16. Most of what happens in your life (outside of school) is out of your hands until you turn 18. So that leaves us with what? A year that youve actually been in charge of this shit? You said you live with your grandma so its safe to assume that your parents probably didnt do their job right with you.
So you've goofed up a year of your life? So what my man, thats nothing. Lets say you die at 38. That means that from now until you die, you will have lived another 19 years. Thats like taking the entire life youve lived up until now, all the people youve met, things youve felt, deeds youve done, battles youve lost and won, and DOUBLING IT.
But lets be real, you wont die at 38. Average male life expectancy is something like 74. You've got more than 3 lifetimes to turn this shit around my guy. I believe in you.
Heres some shit I want you to start doing everyday. If you think its dumb, whatever, just do it for two weeks and if you dont think its helping you at all then you can stop, okay?

Thing #1: Every morning when you wake up (shoot to wake up around 9am, 10 o clock at the latest) I want you to say (even if you dont believe it) "I am going to kill it today. I am a raging river, and the world is a small child that has fallen in. I am going to succeed. I am going to put the world in a chokehold and fuck it into submission." These are called daily affirmations, and its been proven that saying these things leads you to have a more positive and proactive mindset, even if you dont believe them. Say them with gusto, say them with pride.
#2: Right after you say these things, make your bed and go brush your teeth, wash your face, and comb your hair. If you look good, you will feel better. This is also science and fact.
#3: Stop looking for jobs in the paper or on craigslist. You mentioned a dishwashing job, that is a smart idea my man. Go to poached dot com and apply for every dishwashing job that is offered in your area. Kitchen jobs are easy to get, easy to keep, moderately difficult, but pay well and usually offer small time benefits.
#3: Start looking into schooling, whether it be for a trade or even just your basic AA, get on it.
#4: Start looking into the process for getting your criminal history expunged, this is not hard to do, just a pain in the ass. It will automatically take you miles.
#5: DO. NOT. GIVE. UP. You are the most advanced and capable biological life form on this planet. Bred into you is the hardships and ultimate victories of all those that came before you. You can, and will, do amazing things if you try. If you want to kill yourself, you are already up against a 100% mortality rate. SO FUCK IT. Do all the things youre scared to do, do all the things you want, because if youre going to die anyway then you have nothing to lose.
I love you user. Youre going to be okay, and youre going to make it through this. Trust me :)

Whatd you get arrested for?
Dope ?

Right on, user! fukn bravo!

Can't be fucked to read anything here, but try to get into a trade. If you can't afford tools or anything, try to get buddy-buddy with someone who IS in a trade so they can teach you. Construction is good money if you put in the effort

Job corps, stupid.

Join the military

Threats

My question for the Americans is, if an immigrant, undocumented CAN YOU GET WORK, why a native does not????

Thanks, guys. Unfortunately, I got to go and help a friend out with some housework, so I'll see you guys later tonight, when I'm browsing. Thanks for the advice. I'll definitely do some looking into them.

You're 19 silly, nothing is fucked if you're not a felon. Reach for the stars user, never give up. This world is ours for the taking. You aren't looking in the right places. Start with a trade school or try to test into college.. If you met me I would give you an opportunity,but unfortunately we are not in the same world.
I'll bite though.
What were you arrested for?

Because he doesn't know how to start, user. Chill out, don't bring politics here.

Because they're paid below the minimum

I’ve been in the same boat, most of your stress is probably coming sub consciously from the guilt of not having a steady job when some of your friends and your peers may have had jobs for a long long time. This is okay, in fact it’s a good thing that your brain is alerting you to this and you’d be surprised at the number of people your age who do not have jobs. You may feel a bit behind on the whole “work grind” but it isn’t as daunting as it may seem and it can be rewarding to see yourself get better at something you make money doing. Good luck user and thank your brain for pushing you to take action

how old are you now?

was the arrest a felony... AKA is in on your record

and no, even then you are not completely fucked my dude.

I made the retarded decision to move to florida, I was making $30 an hour as a swim instructor, and $17 as a lifeguard where I came from... I figured jobs would be plentiful down here... Fuck was I wrong. So I looked up felony-friendly employment. Hey, I'm not a felon, so I'm not a terrible bet. Ended up with a shit job at Waffle House, but it was a job. Ever since then I've used every employment opportunity to network, find the next best job. So look for a job that is below your standards, but at least it is employment.

Descend into a spiral of alcoholism. A handle of vodka is cheap enough even for a jobless guy. Get fucked up every single night. Drink first thing in the morning when you wake up in your own piss. Drink until the way your mattress smells and how it always feels a little damp just becomes the norm. Drink until you build up enough tolerance to keep from vomiting.
When you finally fuck up the amount and die in the night from alcohol poisoning your loved ones will be able to see how much pain you felt that you needed to run away from it into a bottle every day, but they will be relieved to remember you fondly instead of as the drunk disappointment that you had become.

If you live in the US, under 24 and don't have a felony, go to Job Corps.
It's 100% free, they'll bus you to the center, buy you clothes, feed you, give you a place to sleep and educate you in a trade of your choosing.
However, you HAVE to keep your nose clean when you're there or they'll kick you out with no mercy.
Life isn't over man, it's just begun.

Don't know if OP is still here, but not a bad option, best of luck man. Honestly your circumstances aren't as bad as they seem, keep your head up. Some people end up with worse lives because they beat themselves up and worry, I've seen it. It's why I try not to do that even though it comes naturally to me as well, you're doing fine.


You hear that
>You're doing fine

Keep searching for a job, it takes multiple interviews until you actually get employed. Plus you're 19 you have year ahead of you, you shouldn't worry too much. I hope you can tough this out, user.

Holy shit man that sucks

Like others are saying, you are just being hard on yourself. I know it sucks feeling useless, but you will find your calling one day

Not saying life gets better when you do, cause it doesnt, life just fucking sucks, but at least you have something to make you not feel like a complete useless piece of shit