Awkward sex stories thread? I'll start
>Having sex with qt3.14 gf
>on top of her thrusting
>about to nut
>have look of intense concentration on my face
>look of concentration is mistaken by her for upsetness
>she asks "what's wrong?" just as I start to nut
>Can't remember how words work
>sperg out
>reply "yee boi"
>apologize
>she hasn't invited me over again since
Bump
Keked
Self bump c'mon guys you gotta have some
...
>implying anyone on this board has sex
post pics of gf
>getting head from gf
>about to nut
>she hates to swallow but i don't really care what she likes
>just before I nut i grab her by the hair and pull her head closer
>cum deep inside her throat
>she instantly runs to the toilet and puke
>apoLOGize
>16
>losing virginity
>things are going badly
>she is not having a good time
>I am not having a good time
>through vague ineffectual thrusting I am finally nearing climax
>say "Do you want me to cum in you?" in an attempt at dirty talk
>she says "No! Don't!" further showing how fundamentally out of sync we were
>I'm wearing a condom
>But what if it broke
>That's pretty unlikely
>But it's still a possibility right
>I mean technically
>Could you check?
>pull out and pull of gnarly condom
>it's fine
>decide that this is all fucked and go to the bathroom
>slam the door behind me because I'm pissed I didn't get to nut
>she opens the door
>gets on the floor
>everybody walks the dinosaur
I drooled in my ex's mouth on accident one time while we were having sex.
>Be me
>Drunk off tequila
>Celibate after my ex ruined my life
>Still fingerblast girls from time to time cuz puss
>Weird ass night at friends house leads to orgy
>Fingering friends gf
>She tells me she cant cum unless we actually fuck
>Ask her if memes might help cause I'm a cringy piece of shit beta male
>She gets upset
>"Please don't user"
>Still finger deep
>Initiate cringe face
>Whisper "I'm the puppet master."
>She gets mad
>I have to leave room
>I don't get invited to orgies anymore
Pic related that was the dumb fucking face I made
Bump
Wife and I have been together over 20yrs now. This goes back to HS dating, think my senior year.
> gf and I alone at her parents house for the night
> her parent went out for the weekend on the lake
> late afternoon we go to lunch and fool around a bit
> she wears her bikini and cover to the dock restaurant (live on the levee)
> she turns me like crazy for the fun of it
> we hurry home and get right to some fun on the Lazyboy
> after about five minutes of sex we hear the deadbolt on the front door
> Wife jumps up and bolts for the bathroom
> in the mad scramble she grabbed my trunks with her suit
> I grab grandmas knitted blanket and throw it over me quick
> her aunt walks in talking some gibberish about the animals
> my dick was trying its hardest to find a hole in that afghan to poke through
> Wife walks out and distracts her aunt
> tosses me my trunks
> aunt starts to smirk a bit
> she says she saw both of us already don't try and hide it
> she was actually in the backyard feeding the animals when we came home
> she went around front to give us a fair warning to get dressed
> she said don't worry about it
> "kids, I'd give anything to be young and having fun again"
Ex darted in my face when she came during 69. Thought nothing of it at the time. Brought it up later that day for keks.
>13 & a girl
>invite black chick on vacation w me
> 3 am talking bout exes
>she's straight
>not really tho
>making out
>feels like she's eating my face
>wants to eat me out
>10 seconds of a dog licking me
>oof no
>go to return favor
>God no.
>smells like fish and feet
>start laughing and coughing it's that bad
>awkward ride home.
>don't talk anymore
>female friend comes over
>she's 19, me 20
>hanging out in my room drinking & smoking
>it gets late she stays the night
>laying down watching movie or whatever
>horny af
>make a move, she's into it
>we do the works;)
>I rub her tits & pussy
>she sucks my dick
>we start fucking, feels great
>got my groove going, maybe close to nutting
>can't tell cuz of alcohol
>she stops me
>confused af I ask "is everything okay?"
>she blank faced stated up at me & says..
>"I think I'm gay"
>mood killed
>dick gets soft
>roll off her in shame
By far one of the worst situations i was ever sexually involved in smh
haha you're such a terrible fuck you turned a chick gay
that's impressive m8
My ex is now also into girls. Feelsbadman.
I wouldn't talk to the black girl either, don't worry.
Feelsbadman.png
She wasn't gay, she wouldn't have sucked your dick and only realized she was gay while fucking, you're just horrid
>first girlfriend i ever boned
>want to try anal
>she says okay
>fuckyes.jpg
>get in back of my car
>lube up with lotion
>areyoureadykids.dick
>stick it in
>loose as fuck
>confused because anal is supposed to be tight
>i mean, i guess
>cant nut because too loose
>put dick away and go home
>look in my back seat later
>little turd sitting on leather seat
told her about it and her only response was "well you were the one who wanted to do anal"
Probably fake but holy shit that's funny
Nah, we went on to date for 3 years, I blame the alcohol lol
Shit I did this too with my first gf, I was so ashamed. I dunno how the fuck it happened, I was slamming away and this string of drool just poured out and hit her right in the corner of the mouth. To her credit she just wiped it quick and let me carry on but it was awkward afterwards. She spent ages cleaning up in the bathroom, was probably crying / vomiting.
legit have a different ex who is getting married to a girl kek
dated her for 3 years after, she was kind of into girls & I guess I had weak dick game that night
My first gf is the only one who's ever wanted anal (to my knowledge), it wasn't as tight as I was expecting either. I mean at least she didn't shit anywhere but it was disappointing, didn't even nut. I miss fucking her tbh she was crazy good on top.
Not sex but still shameful
>first kiss w girl after 6 months dating
>just a peck
>I missed
>she broke up with me day after
>legit moved to Mexico
>told my friends I raped her
>cool
I’ve got a couple...
>be 19
>ex is 17 (legal age is 16)
>ex staying at mine whilst I still live with the folks
>dad and brother have gone out whilst mums asleep
>timetogetiton.gif
>start making out and touching up
>eat her out until she goes crazy
>she literally pounces me like a lion and rides me like crazy
>feelsgoodman
>this goes on for about 15/20 minutes
>she knows how she likes it and already came, just me now.
>get close to nutting when suddenly the door flies open
>it’s my brother, pissed as a fart.
He stares at me and ex whilst she’s still on top of me.
>can’t prolong the inevitable and nut.
>ex awkwardly hits the deck on top of me whilst I grab the duvet.
>brother walks to my desk, drops about £10 in loose change and walks out.
Still not sure what went through his head as he did that.
Its 2018. This joke was old a decade ago, and it wasn't true then either. Most people don't have problems getting laid.
I used to have this girlfriend and the one time she rode me on top my shirt was soaked from her sweat. Literally soaked as in I had to wring it out afterward
It was cab fare. He forgot to give it to her when she jerked him off earlier that night.
who hurt you user?
my gf fucked a rando in a porta potty at a music festival. i’m sure it smelled great
Can't decide if that's hot or not. Mine used to "snail trail" me after riding, she thought it was hilarious to deliberately wipes her pussy down my leg leaving a trail of my jizz. She was weird.
>18 with 16 year old best friend
>their cult level Christian parents fucking hate me
>we've been fucking for the past 6 months and the parents found out.
>friend snuck over to my place one day
>decide to try fisting
>they get 4 knuckles and part of their thumb in
>phone rings
>it's their dad
>"our child isn't at work like they said they were, do you know where they are"
>lying about the location of someone whose hand is 4 knuckles deep in my asshole is the funniest thing I've ever done.
This happened when I was in high school
>Hanging out with new gf & friends
>it gets late & we decide to crash at friends house
>he goes in his room with his gf
>we get to sleep in the guest room
>we lay down, & start to make out of course
>feelschancesofgettinsomefuckrise
>start to strip her down, everything is going well
>both laying on our sides, her back to me
>she starts to jerk my dick for a bit
>eventually start rubbing head of dick against her wet pussy
>slippy, slidey all over the place
>eventually get head of dick in
>good
>starts thrusting slowly, but than i picked up the pace
>she stops me
>dick still inside I ask "what's wrong?"
>she's in tears, tells me she feels like a whore, wants to take things slow
>I sadly agree
>walk off to the bathroom to piss
>in light see darkness on my dick
>wtf she's on her period?
>smells fingers...
>it's shit!
>dawn's on me I unknowingly fucked her in the ass
>selfhighfive
...
FAGGOT PLOTTWIST
That's some next-level incompetence
>be in 8th grade
>date girl long enough for her to want to fuck me
>one time when her mom wasn't home we decided to do everything but fuck
>she gave me amazing head
>it was time for me to put it in
>I got so excited I came all over her underwear
>she didn't realize until I started acting weird
>she goes to turn on the light to reveal my cum strain all over her
>I just lay there in shame for a minute
Hahaha you're a useless cunt user
In my defence, I thought it was straight at the time
We just kinda kept going, it went straight into her mouth. It was kinda weird but we didn't stop, it became a joke pretty much immediately.
Why did you have a shirt on?
My ex used to lube my balls cuz she thought it was funny. Fucking impossible to get that stuff out of every scrotum wrinkle without showering.
/throat clogged
That's a sweet story user, was going to add one of my own but I find it pointless
>house sitting for family friend
>"no sex in our bed use the guest room"
>ex comes over - we have sex in their bed
>she tells me joke about her friend has crabs
>we find crab on her
>spend the next 2 hours cleaning bed and house
Same ex, but back in time we are dating
>be me 20 bring ex over to parents' house
>some dudes doing construction on the hill behind my house (~50feet away from window)
>Construction dudes take lunch
>Fuck ex for almost an hour, really dirty shit
>Leave house to get into car an hour later
>Entire construction crew out there giggling and hollering
kek
i once was sex woth gurl and i farted
>"no sex in our bed use the guest room"
>ex comes over - we have sex in their bed
You're a shitty friend.
It's probably even more true now than it was then.
>girl riding me
>starts kissing me
>she stops and says "fuck my nose is bleeding"
>runs to bathroom
>i follow, face covered in her blood
>we clean up
>she came during sex, decides to blow me
>nut in her mouth
>she swallows and smiles up at me
>she's covered in blood again
>blood in my pubes
>have to shower again
Stop fucking crackheads user.
kek i once had sweat drip off my face and into my girlfriends mouth
You have to concentrate to nut when banging a non-hideous chick?
op confirmed faggot
lol
yep. i didn't realize it at the time, but she did a lot of coke when i wasn't around. we only saw each other about once a week and was usually sober when she was with me. some guy that was friends with her dealer let me know after we broke up.
>apologize
This is where you fucked up.
a drop of my girlfriend's sweat hit me in the eye while she was on top one time
your gf is a fatty
>I was 32
>Banging a hot 16-year-old.
>Just as I finish inside her and her finishing with "Oh yes! OH GOD! DADDY"
>I look at her bedroom door, see my friend got home early and caught me fucking his daughter.
>He grabs her door and closes it.
>Friend didn't talk to me for months.
IP address reported to FBI
Your lucky you just got the cold shoulder and didn't get shot.
you're not wrong
They would need a time machine. lol
I know. His daughter spent months convincing him we were both into it and I was a hell of an improvement over her previous boyfriend.
This is better than sex tbh, probably messed her up for life
>be me senior in high school
>dating ex for second time, junior
>I'm on top
>kinda aggressive and very dominant
>holding her throat
>alphaasfuck.flac
>slap her across the face to establish dominance
>immediate regret
>her mouth gaping
>my spic skin becomes redder than a tomato because embarrassment
>she pulls me in closer to kiss me harder
>turned out she fucking loved it
It was awkward for a split second but holy shit I wanted to kill myself when it happened.
What was that like?
>be me
>friends with gay guy while not being gay myself
>out for drinks one night
>start thinking how the world is spinning extra fast
>end up on bed bent over getting fucked with no condom
>wake up next morning and wonder if something was slipped into my drinks
As fucked up as it sounds if all of it would have gone down the same way except that a condom would have been used I'd be less flipping out right now.
>doing it
>only semi-hard
>never cum
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
alpha
kekd
Nice
...
>be me with current gf
>we both like hard sex sometimes
>not overly bdsm, just some ass/face slapping and dirty talk
>push her face in the pillow and pull her hair
>exactly my kind of sex
>she suddenly starts crying as it is too much for her
>makes me even hornier but i have to stop
>we talk and mood is ruined
Well these are the downsides of having a Borderline gf.
>be me living in English countryside
>basically only one nightspot in the vicinity
>be in said nightspot one weekend with a couple of friends
>meet nice girl in there who's over from Devon for the weekend
>drink and talk together for a while in the bar
>she comes back to mine
>we have sex
>wake up and have breakfast
>offer to drop her off at where she's staying
>she says no I'm going to a birthday party could you just drop me straight there pls user
>what a coincidence I'm also going to a birthday party, who's party?
>she says 'aunty Janet'
>moment of confusion as I'm also going to my aunty Janet's party
>blood runs cold as I realise I have a cousin I last saw when I was about 5 who lives in the south west with the same name as this chick
>realise I've fucked my cousin
>she realises the same
>attend aunty Janet's party anyway
>don't feel like celebrating
yes
>>I'm wearing a condom
>>But what if it broke
>>That's pretty unlikely
>>But it's still a possibility right
>>I mean technically
>>Could you check?
>>pull out and pull of gnarly condom
this and when i realized
>had anal with gf
>her first time
>"how was it user?"
>"mad. "felt as tight as your pussy"
>gfsadface.jpeg
>last time I had anal
I've accidentally fucked 2 cousins too. Don't feel bad. It's part of the risk of stranger sex.
thats depressing as fuck at the end
Not my story.
> Mate picks up a chick at the pub and goes back to her house
> Commence kissing, groping etc. on couch
> 'Wanna go to bedroom?'
> Get nude, all going well, sucking, licking, kissing etc. on bed
> Mate inserts benis, starts having a good time, pretty tight pussy
> Mate is getting in to it, girl is not
> 'Can we stop now?'
> No nut busted
> Mate leaves pretty quickly
We always ask him if we can stop now.
> wife says I can do anything to her if my dick is in her
> doing her doggy style
> suddenly spit on her back
> she gets super upset for a split second
> remembers what she has previously said
> 'well played user'
> stuck my finger in her ass (nothing new to her) and blew my load
Why did you spit on her back and why was she upset? I mean I get the spitting thing, but I only spit in my gf's face sometimes.
Why did she want him to stop?