Sup Sup Forums

Sup Sup Forums,

My father killed himself last September. I found his body. Ask me anything.

I feel like this would be a good way for me to cope, being able to talk to someone without having to do it face-to-face.

How'd he do it?

Shot himself with a handgun under the chin. Only a .22, so no big gory mess. Honestly thought he was sleeping until I saw the gun.

Damn bro, sorry for your loss. Was he depressed beforehand?

See that's why we didn't see it coming. He bottled his feelings up for sure, but things had been going pretty swell for the foreseeable past (is that a term?). There had been some friction between his family and my mother, and that's what we think did it. The night before he saw one of my half-brothers, a son from his first marriage, and he kinda slighted Dad. We think that plus stress of getting older, marital problems maybe (mom claims things were fine) just got too much. Idk man. Thanks for the condolences.

How have you been dealing with the loss?

What was your reaction when you found him?

Kinda numb really. Just been trying to take care of mom, she's a wreck who blames herself. It's not her fault though, really, I'm not just saying that. I'm too mad at him to miss him right now. I just can't believe he left us like this. I'm sure down the road, when I graduate college or get married, that's when I'll miss him. But right now I'm just trying to be strong for my mom.

Hey OP. My dad went after the divorce so he's basically dead.
How are you feeling about this?

Mind ripping fear. So afraid. The screams of my mom I can't lose. She was a registered nurse before health issues forced her to retire, she performed CPR while I called the police.

Was he a fuck up. Or was he someone who was respected/with dignity.

Suicide is an extremely selfish thing to do. I used to work at a job doing biohazard cleanup for these fuckers.

Fair enough, I haven't lost my parents yet but when I was a kid my dad lost both his parents within a couple months of each other, looking back he broke down crying alot, and he's a six-foot-something aircraft mechanic and a total hardass. I wish you the best OP.

Sorry man I don't understand what you're saying. He's divorced but still alive? I'm holding up man.

Very well respected both in my family and in our small town. But I lost a lot of respect for him that day.

Thanks for the laugh, man. Truly.

Are you angry at him now?

So many times I've heard people say things like "how could he/she do that to us" after they killed themselves. Even after death they're thinking about themselves only.

But we'll never really know what's inside a person's head and for how long.

Hope you're doing well

Oh, has been answered on the meantime. My bad

Agreed man.

Thank you user

Very angry. But then I feel guilty for being angry, and I think of the good times to try and snap out of it. No sense being angry when he's gone the way I see it.

Man, did he even leave a note? Shit is crazy, some people just build it up inside without ever talking to someone or taking it easy.

Yeah there was a note. It was very shortsighted and brief, angrily directed at our family. That's why I know it was a spur of the moment decision and not something he had planned for a while.

I can't decide if that makes it better or worse.

have this cat pic, also i feel sorry for your loss

You know the fucked up part is, if he had a healthy way of dealing with things this probably wouldn't have happened. Was he a hard worker?

Yeah, very hard. Always worked a blue collar job, even on his days off he would spend the days working on the family cars or around the house. I do regret that he had no way to cope with those issues. I really thought he told his closest work friend everything. Guess not.

Fuck man, thats definitely it. Some people just work so damm hard and they never see any other option. There's a term for it in Japanese i can't remember what it is, but they have a lot of suicides from people over working.

An old friend I hadn't talked to in 5 years shot himself, felt terrible even though I didn't know him well. Like I'd have given you options. It destroyed his family.

You get angry, and you can't forgive because they are dead. If even a single person on the earth loves you, think not about your own apathy or "poor me".

Same with my bro, saw him hanging. Doesn’t get easier you just learn to cope with it, although I still get flashbacks from the day.

I understand that man. Did you get counseling? If so, did you do the EMDR stuff?

my dad also died last september
heart attack
He was 76 tho

¿CPR on an instantly fatal gunshot to the head? Sounds like she lost her mind.

Or wanted to blow bubbles.

The bitch knows what she did
She won't ever tell

more like, HE lost his mind
mirite

I mean what was she supposed to do lol. like I said, it was just a .22. It's not like his brains were splattered on the roof.

Actually she kept his heart beating long enough for them to get him to the hospital and get him on machines that kept him "alive" long enough for the rest of the family to come say goodbye.

kek

How old was he

You're being stupid and a tool of whiny deceptive women

Be honest - did you have sex with the body?

58

I would've, but mom was right there and I didn't wanna be rude.

Yes let's make this tragic suicide story about gender politics.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yeah figured the hand tapping was more beneficial then the eyes. Had that CBT and medication for depression and anxiety

Hey I'm your dad's friend from work. He told me to tell you he wanted you to fuck his corpse but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Sorry.

Damn it Rob

well. dude. you seem to have a handle on things.
i wont be able to stay.
do remember though that your mother might want to be strong for you as well. nobody is better off bottling up anything.

see, what causes issues are these emotional cascades... this is what people bottle up.
at the heart of everything is fondness, that turns into sadness, grief, betrayal, anger, spite. all that bile spawns from a good thing.
even when you are the most venomous, remember the spring it all comes from. in the end there can only be forgiveness of all parties.
nobody does or acts or thinks in any shape or form, without reasons for it. since there are reasons for these forms, then nobody can really help the manner in which they act. this is important to realize. even if we never can accurately determine the exact reasons or causes behind the actions of another, we also are often hard pressed to realize how our own actions are determined.
this is the thing. forgiving and accepting must be key. even if you can not, accept and forgive yourself for that. you can get nearer to a point where you are not controlled by your attempts to control your surroundings.

this is the only way to make space for yourself in your own life. you will likely do fine, but remember that you likely have some of both the nature and nurture of your father. notice also that you focus on serving and providing rather than seeking comfort and security. if i was your mother, i just might fear deep beneath it all that you are walking that same path.

I'm sorry this happened. Are you OK?

Damn, user. Thank you. That was beautiful.

>no pics
Yeah nah fuck off

Yeah man. Thanks for checking in.

This, pics or gtfo attention whore.

I think this is a very well thought-out response and I want to commend you for it. It helps me understand some of my own self-destructive behavior and be kinder and more forgiving towards myself. My marriage is strained at the moment, and when my wife and I talk, I will likely share the screenshot I took of your words. Thanks, user.

You are very welcome. Death is a part of life. The Stoics said that we should not think of those who are close to us as belonging to us. They are "borrowed." When we no longer have them, they are "returned." Your dad cannot feel grief or pain anymore, and it is certain that he loved you.

Did you think your dad faked his death for a better life?

please. have this.

Inb4 dad proves he's still alive in this thread.