/nzg/ New Zealand General

/nzg/ New Zealand General

I haven't seen one of these shit threads in ages edition.

...

Moving to NZ in a year. What chill places you guys recommend to live in? No meth heads but good bud or chill people is a bonus. Mountains, beach or snow I'm not picky.

South Island is your best bet. Nelson, Christchurch, possibly Dunedin and Wanaka.

>no meth heads
It would seem NZ is not for you fam

Nah that's just small maori towns in the north. Not an issue elsewhere mate.

Why would you move to Australia?

New Zealand (Aotearoa in Mando'a), Maoriland, or Australia's Underwear, is that small, forgetable skidmark that is smeared under the country of Australia.

It is a so-called "nation" that some argue is a state of Australia, when it is in fact a pocket dimension. Scientists are also increasingly supporting the theory that NZ is in fact a crossbreed between Australia, Wales and lands of the Otherkin. However, since the average Americunt struggles to identify America on a world map, their chances of identifying New Zealand are next to none, leading some to question whether anyone gives a fuck. This was further reinforced upon the removal of New Zealand from more recently published world maps, which was expected to cause much controversy, but it turned out that either nobody noticed or nobody cared.

There are more sheep than people there, a fact which those inclined towards bestiality take full advantage of.

General hobbies of the inhabitants of New Zealand include fucking sheep, being shitty at sports, bitching constantly, committing violent crime and attempting to copy Australian culture in any way possible (which they most fail at).

It should be noted that the majority of Kiwis are self-hating and insecure as they secretly hate their home country with a passion and really want to be Australian.

FACT - Maoris are not people.

Over 80 percent of New Zealanders are heavy drinkers and alcoholics, also with a wide range of drug addicts and wife bashers. Many of these people like to get drunk off cheap New Zealand beer that has more added sugars and chemicals in it than in a porn star's cleavage. Most people in New Zealand are very dumb due to the poor education system and killing off their brain cells from their cheap beer and drugs. Maori rarely speak MAORI, and now days you can commonly hear them speak a mix of swear words and broken English.


New Zealand has a long history as a tourist attraction. Stone cairns attest to it being visited at least 150 years ago by the Vikings, and ruins indicate that Polynesians made at least one trip to take in the sun before finally settling it some time during the 1500s. Some historians believe that it may have even been visited BCE by Minoans.


New Zealand’s national emblem is a three foot high flightless bird, the most exciting animal that lives in the whole country (apart from sheep which are very exciting). New Zealanders refer to themselves as kiwis. Kiwis are delicious when you club them to death to tenderize and deep fry them. In fact many Australians enjoy Kiwi clubbing - this angers the New Zealanders but there is nothing they can do about because they are sheep fuckers.


New Zealand is also home to many azns who flee to New Zealand as refugees from their cruel communist homelands seeking a better lifestyle and to steal more of the economy's income becoming doctors (Indians) or accountants (azns). It is believed by the year 2020 120% of New Zealand will be azn and 4/5th's of stores will sell noodles.

>paying 60 dollar shipping costs
wew lad

Yea I was thinking of Nelson. Wanaka looks too expensive. Dunedin looking like a good back-up. Thanks bros.
Anyone go camping or freedom camping in their vehicles? I'm hoping to do get /out/ on weekends and spend some time up the coast or mountains.

>being shitty at sports
being this buttmad about being consistently rekt in rugby union

the tramping in the Waitakeres is bretty gud even though it's very close to Auckland. walking the Hillary Trail with a mate and a two-man tent is quality outdoors time

Which fucking New Zealand are you from

Kei hea aku kiwi bros?

Sounds pretty comfy user. Might give it a look.

Prettier Sheep.

Yeah nelson is probably NZs nicest small city like every other small city but with less Maori.

Christchurch is still pretty fucked

And southland has such a small gene pool

>Anyone go camping or freedom camping in their vehicles?
All the fucking time mate. I live in Christchurch, go away about once a month. Got my set ups at Kaikoura, Hurunui Mouth, Rakaia Huts, Lake Coleridge, Banks Peninsula, Mt Somers.

Been past this sign was sweet

Yeah, most people just ignore it I think

anybody know the wellington band unsanitary napkin?

Any one know the Hamilton rapper yung gonorrboi

narsicistiscs

Anyone know the Dunedin rapper dat maori boi

jesus christ i fucking knew this would happen

I've lived in Wellington for too long. I hate all my old customers, seeing them around town living their stupid little lives. I hate my old co-workers, one of whom just stares at me slack-jawed whenever we cross paths. I just want to move to Toronto and draw butts on cafe napkins.