Femanon decides to try out Tinder

>Femanon decides to try out Tinder
>Meet user, kind of awkward but whatever
>Talk for a while and decide to meet up
>Hang out and go back to his place for some fun times
>"Fuck me to Kanye West, Femanon"
>Regrets.jpg
>user starts kissing me
>Kissing is literally just sucking on parts of my face or pressing his mouth on my face and not moving
>Cantgobacknow.png
>user asks to eat me out and with permission struggles to take my pants off
>Proceeds to decide my socks were the problem and removes socks before finally getting my pants off
>user reaches over and grabs a bottle of lube
>"user that isn't a good idea"

>user proceeds to slather me with lube and goes to town
>Oral was okay but I'm still confused
>Decide its time for The Sex
>user takes out a condom, realizes it's upside down, and then throws it on the floor
>New condom
> Gets new condom on and slathers himself in lube
>"user you really don't need very much"
>"It'll be fine Femanon"
>Proceeds to shove lube covered dick into my mouth
>It takes like fucking circus peanuts
>Nope.jpeg
>Shove him away and resist the urge to spit all over his bed

>I just want to be done already
>user relubes the condom
>Gets on top
>Lays down
>Like directly on me
>Proceeds to hump like I would imagine a seal would
>This goes on for far too long
>user changes condoms 3 before we're done
>Whatthefuck.avi
>user is really into this lube
>Continual handfuls of Circus Peanuts lube at frequent intervals

Fuck yeah I love clowns

>The story of /b sex life

>I'm wiping lube onto all surfaces at his point
>Him
>Me
>Blankets
>Pillows
>Kanye West poster
>user is trying to finish but keeps pulling out and trying to finish with the most recent condom on
>This goes on about 6 or 7 times until he finally comes
>Freedom.jpeg
>20 minutes pass
>"Femanon let's have sex again"

>Anything but that
>I just want to leave
>"No user, Im tired"
>More begging
>"But Im so close"
>We aren't even doing anything at this point
>"You can cum on me if you want?"
>user immediately pulls my head in and cums in my face and eye
>Timetobeassertive.png
>I clean up with a towel to remove all the semen and circus peanut lube
>Look like a huge fucking dumpster slut
>Attempt to wash face but look like I'm crying
>Closeenough.jpeg

at least you don't have a peanut allergy xd

>claim rape
>Become a feminist

>Finally get to leave
>He walks me to my car and brags about how good at oral he is
>"Yeah user I had a good time"
>Can't crush his dreams
>I'm too weak
>Proceed to drive home
>Call CrushAnon on the way home to tell story
>So horrible its actually hilarious
>I'm not even mentally scarred
>Get home and eat icecream in the shower
>I still smell like Circus Peanuts

How was your day Sup Forums?

>be me 24
>in college
>live with grandparents because stupid life choices
>woke up at 1pm
>smoked
>got on /b
>been here ever since

I should add...
>no friends
>no gf
>haven't had sex in over a year
>not ugly
>not fat

post pics of self. I wanna see how sad you have to be to have sex like this.

What are doing to nite op . Slut it up again. In b4 pics or it didn't happy

at least you're not a virgin! no everyone is that lucky!

Fair enough.... although a few of my sexual relations are regrettable.

this hahahaha

This

i haven't laughed that hard in a few days....fucking brilliant.

circus peanuts, lube, kanye west

never thought i'd see those things in the same story

>>Call CrushAnon on the way home to tell story
best part. girls are awesome.

CrushAnon here, was thoroughly entertained

bump

cmon op. loved your story. please post pics ok?

...

>ugly
>obese
Fixed for ya

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