When I was 14 I was fucking both of my girlfriends at school in the teachers lounge on top of the table that three...

When I was 14 I was fucking both of my girlfriends at school in the teachers lounge on top of the table that three teachers were eating at and my 14 inch penis accidently popped one of the girls intestines out of her belly button so when we went to the nurses office the nurse (who was Jessica Alba at the time) decided that to figure out what happened I needed to fuck her so I did and after that the mayor gave me the keys to the city. I've been fucking my way across America ever since... It's pretty scary

shut up

You dirty whore

sounds legit

I enjoyed reading this quite a lot, thank you, OP

Mystically, this was posted to Reddit 59 minutes ago... No, not really, you fucking idiot!

I won't lie, OP. I touched myself while reading this.

when I was 14 got caught fucking my gf behind the school gym by female gym teacher. Fucking ugly bitch with toned body. She sent my gf back to class and took me to a small room and locked us in. She started taking her clothes off and ordered me to strip. Fucking scared shitless standing in front of my naked teacher naked myself with a raging boner. She said I want you to fuck me a few times, you do it well and today never happened. I was that scared I fucked her mouth pussy and ass and begged her to let me be her sex slave. She agreed I was that scared I must have fucked that slut teacher 2,000 times before I left for college at 16

i hate niggers

They don't like you either

Holy shit this reminds me of a time during my senior year of highschool.. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was in May I was 22 and we were just wrapping up the school year and getting ready for graduation. I was rally tight with the vice principal Mr Spick and I was just hanging out in his office shooting the breeze
He asked me if i was excited to graduate. Apprehensively I said yes but I'll miss the school, the teachers, students. MR spick replied 'well if youd like to do one thing for us, just for old times sake. I might have a job for you.' EAgerly I awaited instructions. Suddenly i noticed my boner was in my hand and i was squeezing it. Hard. I recall how huge my dick was at the age. God those were the days werent they? My fuck pump was as wide as a tuna can, and just about as long as one too (;
Anyways Mr Spick never noticed and handing me his keys to his 2015 kia Lancer. (The year was 2003, Mr spick was conected out the ying yang, Had the neewest cars that werents even on the market too. and all the honeys too.) (Fuckin guy was unstoppable) I said to him, "Mr spick I'm only 22 and I dont even have my license year, why the hell would you trust me to drive your van?" HE goes back to me " I believe in you"
And so it was set in motion that I would be the guy to pick up the cake for the graduation party. I pull up to Shaw's Supermarket and barrell ass it into the bakery. Hand the clerk a note that says give me some sugasr honey. She knew exactly what i meant. Clerk returns with 2 cakes. One chocolate, one sugar cinamon. She sealed the box with a kiss of gucci red lipstick. Now I rally starting to feel like Mr Spick.
I give her a quick flash of my balls and head to the check out lane. Most lanes heave heavy duty lines so I make my way over to the self check out express 12 items or less lane. All of sudden this ass ugly black chick with fucked up eyes walks up to me and says Excuse me suh i can take you ova he.
>cont?

please continue user-sama my asshole his throbbing so hard desu

>I give her a quick flash of my balls and head to the check out lane

god dammit daddy needs his nut

*heavy breathing*

Barrrmmmpng

i swear to fucking god you melted mozzarella looking nigger please fucking gibs me moar REEEEEEEEEE

...

THe black chick had a nametag on that read " Tamara" She asked me about the cakes and I said wow honey with those eyes I thought you were fuckin blind. are you kidding me? She says "no suh i aint blind but i am hard seeing" I inform her that it takes all kinds to make the world go round and despite her shortcomings shes still as important as verybody else. Then I exclaim "wow you have braille on your nametag eh? (we're canadians.) She says yes its too help blind customers read her name easier. I tell Tamara I just have to try reading braille. She reluctantly says okay shoa. I give her tit a nice squeeze and scream "aroogas" like an old timey automobile horn. I collect my cakes and Mr spicks change and head back to the parking lot.
To my dismay, somebody had Mr spicks van towed from the VIP Blue sign parking Space. I return to the store to use their telephone. ( This was before cellphones little nigga get your bread up) Upon ringing the bell at the customer service desk I'mn again greeted by this fallout 3 ghoul esque black chick, Tamara. She "axes" me what I need and hands me the telephone. Mr spick wasn't pleased but hey everybody makes mistakes. Thank you Tamara, I say loudly puffing out my chest. You really saved the day homegirl.
Somehow I knew she was blushing even though her scrumptous black skin was mysterious. I said hey baby how bout a pack of niggaports for me and the homies back at the shack? She hands me two packs and says theyre on the house.
This is where it gets interesting. Once again my meat puppet is in my hand before I'm even aware. Luckily this little black mama was into whiteys cuz she took that thing like the Notre Dame. No lie bro Facts...We get out to her car and she says you're goin to a party? I reply loudly Yes!! do you want to cum? She squeels YESS. WE hope into Tamaras Aerostar Finally I arrive at the party, cake in hand, beautiful african beauty on my shoulder..

daddy got his nut

moar mora mors moar maor

I waltz up to the teachers table and MR spick is standing arms crossed grinning ear to ear. Hello there! he expels from his abdomen. A full robust greeting of epic proportions. Hello Mr Spick I exclaim with cum dripping from my eye balls. "This is Tamara! Shes that dumb blind nigga from the airport I was telling you about"
Wow buddy thats great good for you. Replied Mr Spick. "You're a lucky lady Tamara" Mr spick gave her a wink and looked at my pants. Suddenly my face was redder than the devils dick. Mr spick must have seen my balloon pump earlier that day. I knew what I had to do. I ran back to the parking lot and drove Tamaras Van onto the football field. I ripped a nice parking break slide into the visitor end zone. Hop out the van and scramble onto the roof. Drop my trousers and yell out I have a tuna can cock and i'm not afraid to use it!!
Simultaneously Everybody in the stands stood up in unison and started clapping, hooting and hollering, slapping there knees. It was like Tamaras family BBQ i would imagine. Finally people were proud of me and didnt; ahve to be ashamed of my fat rock solid meat hammer pulsing erroneously in my trousers.
By the end of the paryt I was the coolest guy in the whole school. A few months later i fucked my Driving test instructor in the ass with a candy bar and got my hoisting license. Bought my first forklift off craigslist for 500CND. All i had to do was get a natural gas tank for it. ME and Tamara kind of grew apart especially when i left for community college. Tamara joined the marines and was a drill instructor for almost 10 years.

cont...

I've never fapped this hard. i wish i had a tuna can cock like you. mines like a zipper on a hoodie

UPDATE

The years is 2013 and I have four small retarded children now. It was all of their birthdays on the same day because they don't understand time, age or birthdays. So obviously to save money we celebrate together, as a family. Anyways I went to Shaws to pick up a cake. Just like old times i ripped the ebrake in my 2001 dodge grand caravan and slid precariously into a parking space
My fucking idiot kids start crying so i toss a flea bomb in the backseat and lock the doors. Slide up into the bakery and lo and behold who do i see? It's Mr spick of course working behind the counter. Hey what the fuck are you doing here working mr spick? ITs me your pal from SAunders High. "" Hey long time no see ese. que pasa?
I need two of your finest cakes Mr spick, One Carrot with cream cheese frosting, the other, an everlasting gobstopper. My words seemed to bellow out of my mouth like a soundwave. A huge wave crashed down upon me dousing me with emotion. Suddenly my eyes welled up with tears. I turn to Mr spick and blurt out Its just tough seeing you here when you--
IT's alright pal theres no need to be upset. I enjoy this work much more than dealing with children constantly. Mr spick said wisely. What we have is our honor. Nothing is guarenteed and we can only do our best in the time that were given. God has a plan for all of us.
Wow I explained. Thats some deep shit. I don't know tho bro i think i'd rather work in a bakery. I have 4 kids now and they're all retarded. I wish i could throw them in that oven back ther and be done with it. MR spick chuckled and said well you cetainly have your humor friend. here are your cakes, be well. namaste."
haha ok fag it was nice see you i reply. bowing intrinsically. Leaving the store I hear a wretched Hellooo?? IS that you???

I whip my head around so fast my neck cracks and my asshole tightens up like a pull start, Tamara? what the fuck are you doing here? I tohught you were traingin the Obama daughters in Hawaii for the next unsanctioned cage match against--
I knew it was you" she cried out. Her voice was shrill and hoarse. Her eyes were totally fucked up at this point like she was def on disability or some shit. Now i couldnt hold back the tears any longer. "oh no tamara i cant belive youve lost your sight now. i'm so sorry-

"no its ok i had my vision a lot longer than the doctors ever imagined i would"
I ask her if she wants to meet my stupid ass kids. Hopefulyy to impress her so i can pound her black hole like steven hawkin. She says yes andcomes to say hello to them but luckily they were all passed out from the pesticides. I axe her Tamara. how did you know that was me 100 hundred feet away? When you can no longer see?
She says back to me You know baby I never really could see very well, you knew that then. And truthfully I really couldnt see much of anything at all but I'll tell you something honey I could smell your stinkin rotten tuna can dick from a mile away baby. The end

this may well be the greatest work of our generation.

thanks bro i had fun writing it

Glorious. Did they make fuck after?

probably yes