Be me

>be me
>be 20yrs old
>still live with parents
>unemployed
>lying about going to college online and locally for almost a year
>only friends are away at school or military actually being productive citizens
>only friends will never know my secrets
>no other dank edgelord geniuses to rival my mentalism
>r/iamverysmart
>used to be smart
>used to be in shape
>do nothing but jerk off 14 times a day to rape blood fetish porn and play vidya
>cripplingdepression.png
>family problems right after highschool
>dad kicked me out
>went away for a while until 2/10 normie parents cooled off
>started lying about going to school
>live a lie to impress friends whose opinions i don't value
>say im trained killer
>whitetrash piece of shit who works on cars
>can't commit to anything
>jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none.zip


Now I smoke cigarettes

People regularly live with parents until 30. It's the modern age. get over it.

Lying about college can be a great way to get a job. Nobody checks. Try it with a liberal arts degree if you have to, but not with comp sci because they'll catch on.

Your friends are welfare queens for the military, most will suicide after regretting bombing 5 year olds for a few years in Iraq. Get over it.

You need to try starting a business. Go door to door with a wheedwhacker and offer to cut grass on your boring weekends. Spring is coming. Put up flyers in the supermarket on sunday, leave business cards with discount offers on saturday. Business cards are $10.

I agree with all of this, although I'd try harder to turn it around than weed whacking. Do you have any marketable skills, OP?

That's literally how I turned it around for me. Just started a business. I was in complete poverty ready to suicide. That's the only thing that saved me and my family.

OP it's easier than you think. Flyers and a weed whacker is how you start a business. Not banks or loans or other red tape bullshit.

^ He's right, you know

Get out of the house and travel the world. You can't name one reason why you can't or shouldn't.

I hate when idiots give this advice.

If he lives with his fucking parents, do you think this movie advice is feasible to ANYONE in the real world? Not on a movie set.

money you idiot.

Fair enough. I just thought if he works on cars in his spare time some small garage might take him on as a grease monkey

Dunno where this myth about travel being expensive comes from. For a month's rent in the States you could spend three months in Thailand.

He'd be better off replacing brakes for cheap on craigslist or something. Although I don't know if he would need a license for that in his state.

Replacing brakes is easy and dirt cheap. You charge $200 for that, people will love you for it and you'll have regular customers. Even if all you do is brake replacement and simple stuff like wipers, tuneups, etc.

edgy
you know the military most people don't even fight or see combat right
if you go in for a skill and pass the school then you won't end up a grunt or anything. only retards who fail military school see combat or people who go in seeking combat

Plus food, plane ticket, plane ticket back, customs costs, etc.

fuck off with aspie advice.

I know most people don't fight in the military but the "HUGRRAH PROUD" branches only kill a few kids, do a little bidding for some oil companies, destabilize a few countries, then come back broken men and shoot themselves. Nothing to be proud of really.

I respect military mechanics more than the average marine or drone pilot.

>Round trip ticket to SE Asia
$500
>Hotel room
>$5/night
>Bowl of pho
>75 cents
>Beer
$1

Literally can't understand how someone in the first world could be unable to save up a 3-figure sum.

>used to be in shape
>say im trained killer

So much cringe.

Pic related. I'm from the future and this is your wedding photo from a couple years from now.

round trip ticket to se asia from the US on $500? lmao. show me.

What do people do outside?
I tried going outside once but since there is nothing to do there I went back home soon enough.

>Go drink in a bar
I don't drink alc.
>Go dance
I don't dance or party obviously
>get /fit/ and run
If I had the motivation for that I wouldn't be posting here

And it is not like there is any nice scenery to visit where I live and I am not at all interested in travelling the world just to see the same shit over and over but in different places.

You're obviously autistic but I kinda agree; I pretty much only go outside to commute and because my girlfriend makes me do stuff outside against my will

Where do you live? You don't like the scenery? I feel you myself too where I live. But within an hour or less drive I can be at a state park or something with may trees and trails. It's not Yellowstone NP by any means, but it's something.

Not much for me to do outside either, except go to the park with my dogs.

People are generally uninteresting especially strangers with the sport bar or strip club archetype. Why bother. Just chill with dogs all day.

Tickets at least $1000+, $2000+ in some places.
Youre dumb

Just searching Momondo with random dates I found a flight from Chicago to Bangkok for $620. Spend a little time searching and you'll find lower. I've flown round-trip to Europe for $300 before.
I earn $12/hour and I travel internationally multiple times a year.

And live a fuller life in two or three years, than you ever will. You can't bullshit anyone and pretend your something you're not there, so the friendships developed are for life and you'll always be family. You know nothing about life in the military or what they actually do when deployed, so why chime in at all? You know why coming back is so hard? Because you know you'll never be as great as when you were there. Sometimes while prep'ing for a big mission this feeling comes over of you of incredible clarity that's a better high than any of the drugs I've tried. It's as if you turned on afterburners. Unfortunately those afterburners are still on, when you return to this 35-mile and hour, useless entertainment, meaningless relationships, hard to come back to shitty world, that's the only one you've ever known and are too much of a pussy fag to go fight. You know why these chicks fuck behind your back user? Because there are guys like them around who aren't bitches. Enjoy your pussy life fag.

LOL you are really going to regret using that money for an investment. Fucking stupid mate.

You travel when you're rich, not when you're in the investment phase of your life. Your opportunity costs are massive.

A full life is lots of money and time with my dogs. Not interested in people past money bro.

>I earn $12/hour and I travel internationally multiple times a year.

you say that like it's a good thing
jesus man

then what the fuck are you doing on Sup Forums

fuck off to your dogs if you don't need other humans

>Unfortunately those afterburners are still on, when you return to this 35-mile and hour, useless entertainment, meaningless relationships, hard to come back to shitty world, that's the only one you've ever known and are too much of a pussy fag to go fight
>too much of a pussy fag to go fight
how do you fix this?

Do they make you memorize that speech before they let you bail out?

You're gonna be one of those 30 year old wagecucks if you keep that shit up.

Fresh off the boat, from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on Sup Forums by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is Sup Forums. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? I'm a judge.. this place. this place has a lot to offer. heh you'll see, kid. that is if you can handle it.

Naw little queer-bate just pissed me off. Knows nothing, but states things like he's a subject matter expert. Getting back on topic. Girls when given a choice of a hundred swinging Richards (like Army chicks) are probably going to fuck someone. A few, don't to my surprise.