User, you died today

user, you died today.
Your family now has to go through your belongings.
What one item would they be most shocked at discovering?

(Could be on your computer, but that’s the obvious answer.)

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urbandictionary.store/products/mug?_sp=42cb828a-8786-46f6-934b-a297dce6565f.1519756408732&defid=1657323
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

My dildo I haven't cleaned up yet.

My collection of man on mare horse porn

My box with pubic hairs

dildo collection

Porn collection on PC

A box with a toy I earned in kindergarten 14 years ago.

my blow up doll, probably.

ITT: OP tries to get you to admit guilt.

My butt plugs

just like scientology.
>hi david, fuck you.

i already know your secrets.

The gun in a hidden safe under my bed

my cum rag

my suicide notes

^^^^^^^^^^
his cum rag

Your mom!

I assume the kids would meet their half brother. :/

urbandictionary.store/products/mug?_sp=42cb828a-8786-46f6-934b-a297dce6565f.1519756408732&defid=1657323

Nice try FBI man

Well, considering they won't be able to log onto my computer, either my diapers or my bondage gear.

My compact gun in a micro-safe in a safe under my bed locked up

You save your pubes?

my hentai folder nothing special

I have a locked briefcase with pot, edibles, pills (molly and norco), 200ish bucks, coke, a handgun and a revolver loader. I assembled this for parties and carry the revolver when I work. (Currently pooping at work or I'd include pic)

I wrote a book a couple years ago that I never did anything with. That would probably surprise them

The trash bag of bras and panties in the basement closest.

All covered in girl cum...

publish it here, in greentext chapters. translate it to 4chanese. it'll be a hit, i'm absolutely sure

those 2L bottles filled with my seed...

should have included pic of poop
>missed chance user

I aint done yet.

The box in which i collect my toe and fingernail clippings for more than 10 years now.

Where's my butt plugs?!

Nothing. I have a dismounted Veracrypt vault

Haha that would take about a month

They wouldn't find anything but vanilla porn on my computer, I got my freaky shit encrypted. Taking that with me to the grave.

They would probably be shocked to know just how wealthy I am. Never told them I made it big in BTC and cashed out while it was on top. So I got a couple of million which they have no clue about.

An unusual ziploc bag with some uncooked rice and folded tin foil in it.

...

My compact pistol in my micro safe locked in a secret compartment in my bigger safe that has eye scan entry.

Maybe my bong and other weed stuff. They already know I smoke pot though. I'm not a dummy so I leave no trace of any other drug use or illegal activity and I don't really keep porn on my computer. Any freaky sex shit would be overlooked because I use common everyday items like hair bands and belts and things like that that wouldn't really give anything away. They might be surprised to find the big box in my closet that has everything from my relationship with my high school girlfriend including every note and little memento. I don't talk about her ever to anyone and it's been like 7 years since we were together so most people in my life have pretty much forgotten about her but I still miss her very much and I go through all that stuff just to remember her like once every month or so when I'm drinking at 3 in the morning.

condoms

I don't thikn anyone would be surprised to find a sealed box of unused condoms in your closet user.

My suicidal thought's in textdocument's
My sissy outfit collection

Touche :D

You have no idea how clearly I understand you, bro

>buttplug
>cigarettes
>pipes and bowls
>the pile of alcohol containers in my closet
>folder of nudes I've received from girls and guys
nothing too bad

Vidcaps of girls getting naked for me on webcam from when I was at least 13-14

Right on my man. Been there, got the box.

My actual dragon dildo collection. The whole 12 of them. Hopefully my gf will hide them.

Are they for her holes, your holes, or do you get to share?

They're going to be MOST surprised when they can't get to my crypto currency. Then they will think back and remember I told them 500 times to sit down with me and let me show you and guide you. But no, the Kardashians were on, or some other shit show. No time to learn about your magic beans.

>pic related. I never should've cum inside

my wegs

Post pics of your girlfriend with a dragon shoved up her slop slot.

*you're

you are mom? i knew it. get the fuck off 4chins mom. faggot

Top kek dubs

Shit guys. I opened the box.

I don't have a box, but one of my drawers is designated to the same purpose

what's it about?

lemme get 10k rl quick i'll be good

they would be most shocked to find that I am dead

The SD Card from a spycam in the bathroom - mostly of my 15yo step-daughter and her friends.... Im a bad man!

maybe he catholic

I found some old pictures of my family in the box too. It's me in the red striped shirt. Think my mom was pregnant with my sister there and you can see my dad before he got really fat too.

You like to watch them pee, poop, or just shower and be naked?

asking the important questions

Just shower, getting dressed / undressed - no interest in toilet goings on

An adventure novel about a man trying to find his daughter after their ship crashes at sea. More so about the internal conflict of a person continuing to push forward after all signs tell them to quit

how big is the ship?
what does it crash into?
does it sink?

mr miscavige says fuck you too

The ship is a schooner, not very large. The daughter goes to visit her father in her summer break from school. The mother lives in the south with her new husband. The father is the captain of the ship which gives week long trips for tourist. They crash due to inclement weather and he and a couple other people are rescued by the coast guard. His daughter wasn't found so he goes out to hunt for her, or her remains.

meme sex doll, i got 5, and my family doesn't know.
dad would laugh.

that sucks. ocean is big as fuck.

Can you post a link to it? I want to read it

Either my collection of incest porn or the dildo under my bed

more

Which is why I never did anything with it. I ended it with him finding her but thought it was far to unrealistic to publish. I don't know maybe I'll pull it out again and fix some of the plot holes but I haven't looked at it in a couple years

a suction cup dildo (with balls)
a black inflatable sex doll
2 pocket pussies
2 lingerie sets
2 pairs of panties

Sexuality is a spectrum I like girls and boys, nobody knows

I would have to upload it somewhere. I'm at work now but I'll upload it and post it later tonight. I get off at 6pm EST so I can have it up around 7

My ex is a glass worker. She made pipes, dildos... you get the picture. She made me a pegger to teach me prostate stim. We broke up before she ever could show me. She also left two butt plugs at my place after the breakup. So now I have 3 anal toys that I’ve never used and my mom would flip her shit if she found them.
>she’s super Christian

The bottle of Melotonin filled with skin peeled from my foot, pretzel salt, toenails, and fingernails.

Why haven't you given them a shot? Butt stuff is amazing when you tickle the ol' prostate just right.

My fucking JoJo parts.

My JoJo volumes.

My old set of needles and maybe some drugs I have lost in my room. Family still thinks I only drink.

Tl;dr

I will keep an eye out for a thread tonight, cheers

My only family is my bf, and he already knows I have a hard drive full of zoo porn. He's watched it with me.

I was smart and encrypted everything with 256 bit aes encryption. They won't even be able to turn my computer on with out a password to get past the boot. So every thing electronic is pretty much safe, i think the only thing that would shock them would be the random empty hidden liquor bottles shoved in weird places around my house or maybe I didn't clean my shower good enough.

Well, at least it's not pizza porn.

tits or gtfo

I don’t know why. Probably because I want some woman to teach me. I’m 40, so my sexual psyche is stuck in the early 90’s when butt stuff was for gayfags. I do hope to find a girl that will try it with me. My previous ex was going to with me, but she went off the deep end and I left her ass.

...

Additional: lost parts of a gun I had do dispose of, pictures hidden in the closet that don’t really show my best side, all the documents from when I was in prison or in court

Not in my room, but when the lawyers start going through things after I die, my wife isnt going to be very happy to find Ive spent right around 215k over the last 6 years on cam girls and escorts

Cannot be on my computer because all my electronic devices is protected with a password.

my dildo collection

What happened to her?

Tiny watersports image collection (~20 images).
Apart from this, there's nothing else that's even remotely shocking.

nice try FBI