I work in a Maximum Security Prison. Ask away

I work in a Maximum Security Prison. Ask away

Do you like blue-dicked furry trap creampies?

How many eggs could you eat in a sitting if your life depended on it? Like if you didn't reach your max they'd somehow know and get you. They can be cooked any way.

What did you do?

Are there any prisoners in there who you would consider OK guys?

Men or women prison?

Horse

would you do a 360 away from an xbox?
have you ever sawed someone died from eternal bleeding?
you ever worry your child porn collection is going to land you in the same place you work?
and lastly how many dicks could a nigger bitch suck if a nigger bitch could suck dicks?

nobody cares about you and you're gay.

ever watch them jerk off?

It concerns me that OP is not answering these important questions

How much faggotry goes on in max?

I don't work in a prison, ask me anything. I'll even answer.

Do you ever look at all those black, prison sculpted hardbodies and just want to get fucked?

Have you stopped sucking black inmate cock?

Yo, free my nigga Martin. He a good boy.

Depends on if it's a horse dick or a dog dick
Less than 12
Mostly nothing with the occasional excitement.
Very, very few. Most of them are shit bags that I don't trust. The ones with a few years left or near parole are typically well behaved though. Some of the older inmates are also pretty chill because they've accepted that they'll die in prison and just want a smooth ride to the finish
You couldn't pay me to work in a women's prison. If they reassigned me I'd fucking quit.
I write them up
Not a lot, but sometimes if you leave them alone they do super gay shit.
Most of them look and smell like shit. BBC? That's a myth.

Did you watch cool hand luke?

you like the hunt?

Do you like blue-dicked furry trap creampies?

How easy would it be to put somebody from PC into Gen pop by "mistake"
And war would be the consequence?

Do you like blue-dicked furry trap creampies and regardless of your answer can you post pictures of some?

Why not work in a women's prison?

You mean you did nothing with occasional crimes?

What state, man? Fellow CO here. Fuck this baby sitting job though.

Wouldn't be a war, he would just get lit up.

Do you work in a Maximum Security Prison

how many of them are Mexican drug lords?

Not war.. *what* would b the consequences for u?

Really depends on who that person pissed off. A sergeant could easily decide there isn't a credible threat and have him moved.
Women are filthier than men and even more emotional.
I work in a maximum security prison. People here are typically serving 15-25 years, not for getting caught with half a gram of weed.
I was on a shitwatch for two days in a row. Fucking awful, made me want to kill myself.
yes
None. There are some MS13 guys though

He bud I bet it's better than jackhammerin 10 hrs a day 6 days a week

Ever beat the fuck out of someone because they were being an idiot?
Any truth to the pedo's being locked in solitary to keep them from having additional holes made in their body with pointy objects?

What's a fifi? What's a chickenhawk? Explain in detail how you perform a strip search?

So not really ur call to just pull a guy from PC n leave em in the yard

What's the most popular contraband?

If you could enact one thing to make prison better, what would it be? (Better as in less dangerous and easier for both inmates and guards.)

What intercom or radio codes do u put up with in a day and what's the worst one?

It's okay. You work with a lot of assholes both inmates and COs. Why some people need to make working in a prison more miserable than it needs to be is beyond me. But yeah, I'm making $48k base pay, not including duty pay and additional overtime. Overall I made around $80k last year and got roughly 3 months off.
>Ever beat the fuck out of someone because they were being an idiot?
Unfortunately the state has been installing cameras and even issuing body cameras so we've had to get creative. Normally that involves writing them up and getting them thrown in solitary or shipping them to another prison and 'accidentally' sending all his shit to different prisons across the state.
>Explain in detail how you perform a strip search?
I run a metal detector over the guy, then I have him take off his clothes and I manually search those, then I have him open his mouth, lift up his dick and balls and then spread his ass cheeks. It's not glamorous.
The guys in PC have their own little yard that they play in by themselves.
>What's the most popular contraband?
K2, Suboxone, pot, and razor blades
>If you could enact one thing to make prison better, what would it be?
I would put every single one of those fuckers in solitary confinement, revoke in person visits and them receiving packages.
Radios in my jail typically are only used to report fights and assaults on staff. The worst ones are when a radio is activated and the person doesn't respond. There are technically worse ones, but those would only get called in in part of the prison was taken over by prisoners.

>761271537 (You)
Well damn, a writing up sounds boring, but shipping them across the country, and their property to the other end does sound like a solid punishment.

It takes them literally months to maybe get their shit back. You can only have them moved to another cell. Moving a blood in between two crips is funny shit.

What percentages of the prisoners would you say are seriously mentally- ill and -retarded?

Also, how is your health and that of the guards? Does it really screw with your heads like in the Stanford Prison Experiment?

Is the "fed's" and ur institution the same thing?

Ever seen someone get shivved because they were moved into a bad spot like that?

GG man 80k to be chilln on ur phone 85% of the day sounds legit.
U have 1st 2nd or 3rd shift?

Ever hear or know of a CO getting caught fucking or getting fucked by an inmate?

This. I hear a lot of stories of female guards getting nailed by thugs. How common is this?

People who become prison guards usually have no other options in life, so they get the job and automatically abuse their authority in the community and their family. Prison guards are fucking losers.

More common than you think

I think it's like 80% of female guards. High or low?

Rape or bad boy complex?

Those faggots aren't even suppose to bring their phones in with them. They would rather face punishment to play angry birds than do their job

Ignore the losers and haters OP. This is the most interesting thread I have seen for a long time on /b

Bad boy complex and women are fucking idiots and should not be allowed to work in a prison system
I couldn't give you an exact number

Any CO ever received pics of their family just to prove a point or threat said CO?

Guess, nigga, this ain't for science.

He's not lying. The majority of guards are losers who had no other options than to be a slave to the gov

If there is a bad inmate at a prison. How easy would it be to order their death by someone on the outside?

Well considering that they all haven't been caught, I'd say it's around 30-40%

Shit, I'd happily be a loser if I was making 80k a year kek. The real world is out there kid Believe that

Get off Sup Forums and stop wasting taxpayers money, you leeching piece of shit

Even if this is true, we don't shit on trash men and other manual laborer for not having the brains to be physicists. It seems like a positive way of contributing to society--way better than the prisoners.

Exactly. Because you're lazy and don't want to work for your money. Be a guard, get fat, get fatter, and just prove to everyone you're a lazy ass.

Are you scared for your life every time you go to work?

>What percentages of the prisoners would you say are seriously mentally- ill and -retarded?
It feels like all of them are, but that might just be because 90% of them are black. But seriously, maybe, 30%? Ever since they decided to defund mental hospitals we've had to deal with those fucks
>Also, how is your health and that of the guards?
A lot of people get fat because you mostly just sit around and do nothing 80% of the time
There are county, state, and federal prisons. I'm in a state prison.
Well mistakes happen
Every year or so some moron falls in love with an inmate, it's mostly male officers though.
No phones allowed in prison
>People who become prison guards usually have no other options in life
I'm a college graduate. I joined because of the benefits, pay, and time off.
>so they get the job and automatically abuse their authority in the community
Haha, what? You think I, or anyone else believes I have any authority outside of a prison? I yell at drug dealers, rapists, and murderers all day because they won't tuck in thier shirts, they won't stay in line, and they talk in the hallways. It's like I'm a kindergarten teacher for 25 year old morons.
Nah. You'll get fired for bringing in a phone. I prefer books myself
Yeah, that typically doesn't end well for that inmate.
> The majority of guards are losers who had no other options than to be a slave to the gov
Yeah, I'm such a loser with my 3 month long vacation, Deferred Comp, Roth IRA, pension, health insurance and my $80k/y
I have no fucking idea, I'm not a hitman.
I'm on my day off. Floating RDOs and all that good shit.

Can't blame em really thou, they'd fall asleep otherwise

It seems like it, but it's not. It's a huge waste of money, and most of those guards are just as crooked as the inmates they're watching

Are they not allowed to jerk off?
Why/why not?

How much does it bother you that the American prison system uses inmate-on-inmate violence as a punishment in itself, and places so little value on rehabilitation?

Women ain't nothing but tricks and ho's sadly. I'm sadly not surprised, and I'm sure it's the only action a lot of those guys see while they're there.

I wonder how often it's the female guard raping the dude, especially if she's some like 50 year old ham beast.

What program did you take in college and what kind of hoops did you have to jump through to get the gig?

Thanks in advance

Whats up new jack. I can tell you a new jack by your badge. Get some time on the job son. So where you work? I work in otisville

They hand out college degrees like candy now. Anyone can get an online degree.

And yeah, you are a loser. Your job is a waste of money and you chose to leech off the system because it's an easy job with under qualified employees and extremely overpaid. A fucking monkey can turn keys and pull levers

How many whites are there compared to other racial groups? Who are the most dangerous?

Shit if I didn't have a dui Id go baby sit the ignorant.

did you spraypaint that thing black?

No. It's been in a wallet for ten years.

Feelsbadman

It has changed over time, but it's usually mexicans, then blacks. But they have traded off 1st and 2nd place at times. But it also depends on which state you work.

There are a shit load of guards with records and duis

Plus that's how I can tell op is brand new. It looks like he just got his badge last week. And if you notice when they gave my badge we were just department of corrections. Now it's department of corrections and communitie supervision

A maximum security prison isn't shit. The inmates don't have much freedom and the guards have much less interaction with inmates, compared t I a state prison.

makes sense, thanks

say, do you have a like drivers license styled ID aside your badge or is the badge all you need?
and how can those be spotted as fake badges?

Nah. In a Maximum security prison you always have a buddy around when the inmates are walking around. Even when you're alone with an inmate they won't try anything 99.99% of the time because they're still stuck in jail, and if they do attack you they'll get their ass beat with about 30 batons. Going to work is boring, incredibly boring.
> It's a huge waste of money, and most of those guards are just as crooked as the inmates they're watching
Haha, see you at FRP. Don't cause a scene in the visit room.
Inmates are wards of the state, so they can't give consent. They're also made to follow rules of conduct and jerking off counts as "lewdness" I believe? Regardless if they're naked outside of a shower or a strip frisk you can write them up. But really if it's 100 degrees in the block I'm not going to give a shit if they strip naked and try to cool off, nor do I really give a shit if they quietly beat off on the nightshift. As long as they don't act like fucking perverts I'll let it slide
>How much does it bother you that the American prison system uses inmate-on-inmate violence as a punishment in itself
You mean inmates make prison a living hell for themselves and abuse every privilege they have to make it a worse experience for everyone? Nope. I really with I could just throw each and every single one of the fuckers into solitary to rot.
>and places so little value on rehabilitation?
They have the opportunity to earn college degrees, a trade, they get free healthcare. They're given every opportunity to "rehabilitate" and the overwhelming majority would rather listen to rap and work out.
>What program did you take in college
Machining
> what kind of hoops did you have to jump through to get the gig?
A civil service test, an extensive background check, a mental health exam, a physical fitness exam, and an 8 week paramilitary academy.
It was extremely easy
Like I'd tell OSI where I work.

What?
Let me find out Im eligible..
What web site do I go on? Or where can I find info?

Ignore all of the fucking retards thinking your on duty. You ever see a kid just enter that prison and you know they are going to have a bad time but nothing you can do for em?

Yes we have a state id

I'm not osi dick head. Lmao why would i say I work in otisville if I was osi. I'm the yard tower officer on days

What state do you live in? Fed prisons really only care about your credit history

You're gonna want to update that in a few years so it says 5'9" 225 lbs

That's exactly what a rat would say

You're in the club and this guy Mud-Slaps your girlfriend's ass. - Wwyd??

I actually lost wieght lol. I'm 175 now. That Id was from ten years ago

Lmao paranoid new Jack's. I'm sure osi has someone checking Sup Forums for state employees.....

Yeah so? You jealous faggot? The less I had to be around scumbags the happier I'd be.

How much would it take for you to smuggle something in for somebody? Not anything super dangerous, something like weed or nude pics of a sweetheart.

Not saying you would, just wondering what's the minimum amount for you to even think about it.

What's the most creative thing a prison has ever done? It could be trying to escape, or hiding a weapon, or making some thing cool. Like, what's the one thing a prisoner did/create that made you go "Like wut?"

>5’9
Manlet detected

>y, those are $0?