I am nearly 40, with limited sexual and relationship experience. Got laid on Saturday.
Met a woman on the street in a city, went home with her, and fucked. The next morning, we exchanged phone numbers and I left.
It seemed like we weren't particularly compatible. She seemed very annoyed that I wouldn't drink booze with her.
Next day, I texted, saying that if she is in my neighborhood (which she mentioned she might be), we should get together. No response.
She did talk about having dinner together, kinda in between sex acts.
Do I just stop trying to contact her and put it behind me? Should I try again? If so, when?
Even if this isn't a viable, serious relationship for either of us, I'd like to get some more sex out of it.
What is my next move, Sup Forums???
Picture not related.
Angel Kelly
Just ask her straight up if she wants to fuck
Jason Parker
You tell us we get to choose what to write her if we get trips.
Lincoln Kelly
the ball's in her court m'dude
if she wants to talk to you she'll respond, otherwise who gives a damn
you're a beautiful human being who deserves someone who wants you not some skag
don't commit any sort of obligation or emotion into it yet, you'll know when it's right
people who say women are complicated just don't pay attention to them and take everything personally
btw what do you see in this mirror
Lincoln Perry
I considered that. When, though? Wait at least a week? Maybe more, now that I may have poisoned the well by contacting her too soon?
> the ball's in her court m'dude So, just try to forget about it? Don't try to make contact again at some point?
> if she wants to talk to you she'll respond, otherwise who gives a damn I give a damn, I want more sex, and maybe even a friend.
> you're a beautiful human being who deserves someone who wants you not some skag That's presumptuous of you. Considering my history with women, it certainly doesn't seem to be true.
> don't commit any sort of obligation or emotion into it yet, you'll know when it's right I don't need to invest emotion. But, I would like to have regular access to sex. Most of my sex partners have been hookers, so I can just have sex and move along. I absolutely won't know when something is right, that's why I never get laid. This is the third woman I ever had sex with without paying. I lost my virginity at 23 to an unattractive hooker. I have no idea how to talk to women.
> people who say women are complicated just don't pay attention to them and take everything personally It may not be personal, but it also may be. No way to know for sure.
Ayden Turner
You’re getting better at autistic larping, but you still suck. Try harder.
Blake Hill
Also, bump with a picture in exchange for the advice.
Dylan Scott
because youre a pussy talking about "if you wannas".
no chick wants a beta dude thats insecure and unsure about his intentions, sitting around waiting for her to pat you on the forehead and approve of you doing something together
if you want to do something, do it and invite her along as if youre going to fucking do it anyway with or without that cunt
David White
Move on, user. This is my best advice. two scenarios
scenario #1 If she needs to be pleased and played out to give you attention. You're gonna be in trouble for the rest of the time you will spend with her.
Scenario #2 She moved on. You should do the same by bouncing back on this experience and find new opportunities.
Move user, just move.
Jace Collins
also, it seems your frame of mind is broken.
you need to youtube or check pua forums on how to pick up chicks. fix your inner game
Isaac Campbell
this is extremely good advice, OP
Brody Ross
Okay. So, what do I say? And, more importantly, when? Since I only waited one day, due to the fact that I wanted her to have it in her mind if she was in my area, do I need to wait longer? Do I straight up ask for sex? Suggest dinner or some kind of date? Just say, "What's up?"
> Move on, user. > Move user, just move. Maybe you are right. Just to be clear, it may be years before I have sex again without paying for it, if ever (given my age and lack of interest in old pussy).
> it seems your frame of mind is broken I am who I am.
> you need to youtube or check pua forums on how to pick up chicks. fix your inner game You think I am not aware of that bullshit? It's completely useless to me.
It's only partially helpful. Doesn't tell me shit about what or when my next move should be.
John Jones
>try to forget it? Just keep it in the back of your mind. You'll never really forget it if you're as anxious as you sound, and it only sounds that way because I'm post-anxiety.
>I gave a damn That's good, apply it meeting more women. They don't just crop up in your house user (if that's where you spend most of your time). Friends happen, but sometimes when you're too eager you end up acting too cold to people, occasionally you have to make the first move.
>presumptuous Presume - suppose that something is the case on the basis of probability
Unless you're wearing peoples skin I really doubt you've done anything so horrible that you don't deserve to be with someone. It's easy sometimes to forget that people treating you bad doesn't mean you deserve it, and even easier to forget that it doesn't mean everyone does it.
We CANNOT let our past experiences take control of our future experiences.
>I would like That's good, but it is ALWAYS time to start looking for new avenues. Diversify. Adapt. This is what made humans strong.
>No way to know for sure. That's exactly what I'm saying. You can't blame people for leaving things that aren't working for them, and they can't blame you for that either.
You have to play the game to win it.
I know how cliche it sounds, but really no secret to doing it but doing it. Remain in tune with change at all times and you will flow like water.
Ayden Jackson
After reading what OP just responded with to what I said. I've concluded that this is bait or OP is beyond hope. May God have mercy on your soul.
Wyatt Powell
> You'll never really forget I hope I'll never forget. I meant just let it go and don't try again.
> anxious Meh, not really the anxious type. I was quite relaxed throughout the whole thing.
> apply it meeting more women. They don't just crop up in your house user (if that's where you spend most of your time). Friends happen, but sometimes when you're too eager you end up acting too cold to people, occasionally you have to make the first move. I have a tendency to self-isolate. I have made a point in the past 6-12 months to be out in public. It hasn't really helped. Saturday wouldn't have happened without the help of a wingman. He is an old college roommate. We weren't really friends back then, and have only seen each other 3 times in 20 years. I don't really have friends that can fill that role normally.
> deserve to be with someone Life isn't fair. It isn't about what we deserve. Plenty of total assholes get lots of pussy. I have gotten almost none.
> We CANNOT let our past experiences take control of our future experiences You CANNOT prevent past experiences from influencing your future. Enough with the Oprah bullshit, please. It's not helpful. I appreciate the effort, but, really, it's just frustrating pablum.
> but it is ALWAYS time to start looking for new avenues. Diversify. Adapt. I have been standing around in nightlife spots for a few months now. Nothing has happened. I did it 20 years ago for a while, nothing happened then either. I'm not cut out for it. And now, I've gotten numerous comments about my age, so that's an extra strike against me.
I don't have better ideas/options. I am not exposed to available women in my day-to-day life. Never really was. Had no available girls around me from 15-21, when I was supposed to be learning these skills. After that, I became much more isolated and things got worse.
You can not make up for lost time.
No idea what you said. Nothing baity here. Isn't funny to get advice.
Chase Thomas
Why will nobody discuss the timing?
If I contact her again, should I wait (especially after already trying once)? If I wait, how long should it be? How long is too long? How soon is too soon?
Any advice about how to talk to her is entirely useless without knowing when to do it.
Aaron King
> After reading what OP just responded with to what I said. I am really curious about what this is referring to. What was so bad?
Gabriel Jenkins
Bumping for some actual useful and practical advice.
When do I contact her? Never? Soon? A week? A month?
What did I say that was so bad?
Come on, Sup Forums. Some of you must have some insight!
Logan Brown
Please, help a Sup Forumsrother out!
Ayden Brown
> it may be years before I have sex again without paying for it,
might sounds cheesy my nigga, but you don't need sex, you need someone who cares about and and and ... loves you my dude. take action or be square
Gabriel Watson
> might sounds cheesy my nigga, but you don't need sex, you need someone who cares about and and and ... loves you my dude. take action or be square That's ambitious. Regular, unpaid-for sex would be nice.
If I got more, great, but that's not fucking likely. Honestly, me and this girl just wouldn't be compatible, I think. But, she let me stick my dick in her, and that's rare and wonderful and at least slightly validating.
I don't think I am asking for too much. Don't try to raise my expectations, help me meet my current goals, please.
Connor Hall
Can anyone help with the timing question? Please?
Isaiah Long
Some more opinions would be really great. Should I contact her again? If so, when?
Only after knowing that can I use advice about how to go do it.
Benjamin Collins
Come on, Sup Forums. Some of you must know how to handle this situation...
Jose Walker
Bump.
When should I try contacting what might have been a one night stand again?
Chase Bell
Please help a Sup Forumstard who is retarded with women get laid again.
Ryder Thompson
this is all you need to know. she goes along for the ride with you, you don't ask permission. if she doesen't want to come along, she can fuck off, find somebody else.
Brandon Stewart
Just give up and move on fag.
Elijah Edwards
you already lost her man. i am not trying to be mean, just saving you time and effort. move on, use what you learned and find the next one.
never chase females, it does not work these days at all and didn't even work well in the past before everyone started using Tinder and became mentally retarded as a result
Dylan Johnson
She's done with you. Find a different bitch. Just go to a bar and see if one of the fat or old ones want to fuck.
Henry Nelson
Still doesn't tell me when to do it. I feel like trying to contact her again too soon will come across as desperate.
Why will nobody give any advice about this aspect?
That's fair, and you may be right.
As for the "next one", there may never be a next one. So, it's pretty hard.
I don't expect a relationship, but I thought maybe I could get laid some more.
I have been going to bars regularly for a few months. Nothing has happened except I got ridiculed a few times for being too old.
I tried it when I was younger (15-20 years ago) and nothing happened then either.
I will not fuck fat or old bitches.
It's quite depressing to see other people doing so well in those places. Not sure how much longer I can handle having to be around it.
Andrew Gonzalez
Gotta be realistic. If you can't get normal ones and you won't lower your standards it's sex doll time. If you don't have enough money it's porn or nothing.
Christopher Taylor
Is it totally unsalvageable? No chance for a fuck buddy situation?
Like I mentioned, most of my sex partners have been hookers. I've only had 3 girls I didn't pay. This recent one was the third, and I am really hoping to get another shot.
Jordan Morgan
Ok man, you’ll be fine.
You’re not focusing on something important. You picked up a random chick so obviously you’re capable. At least sometimes. If you want a piece, keep doing whatever you did to get the last one in bed. If you want something serious, get out and do stuff you’re interested in and meet women that are there for the same reason.
user that said “if doesn’t want to go along on your ride, fuck her” (paraphrased) is right. Pursue an interest + find a chick that shares it = shared ride.
Tyler Wood
Its pretty simple, start to do things that make you like yourself, and you will find girls who like that you like yourself and want to get to know how you work and how youve managed to cultivate such self esteem. People want to feel good, they will want to bask in your wisdom, bring something to do the table, dont just stand around at night clubs hoping someone will throw some pity pussy at you...
Why do you want to fuck someone? Why would that someone want to fuck?
Also I wouldnt be going out of my way to chase her, you will seem desperate, and even if she wanted to hit you up once youve made yourself out to be this desperate character, the last thing she is going to be thinking about is your dick,
Austin Hughes
Follow up to “what’s with nasty nips”
To answer your question
Contacting her will be hard on you. It’s likely she won’t respond.
If you won’t see her again, fuck it. Contact her as much as you want. She’ll either respond and be down, or think you’re a creep and block you. If the latter is true, you make yourself miserable during the pursuit and lose a little dignity when you realize. So...refer to original comment
Bentley Carter
If, at some point down the road (when? 2 weeks? 6 months?) I text her, think I could get some action?
> You picked up a random chick so obviously you’re capable. At least sometimes. Once in 40 years. So, maybe I'll do it again in 2058, when I'm 80?
> keep doing whatever you did to get the last one in bed Me and that guy were walking past her in the street and she was a bit drunk and somehow him and her started talking. Then she wanted to go get a drink. Then he kinda helped the whole way through, even coming back to her place for a while before leaving us alone.
Not sure I could do it on my own. He's from out of town and I only saw him 3 times in the last 20 years. And he's married with kids. So, he won't be helping again.
I don't really have a network of friends that could/would help.
> If you want something serious, get out and do stuff you’re interested in and meet women that are there for the same reason. Honestly... this is fucking useless advice. I don't mean to sound ungrateful. But, really. The only thing I did that I was interested in that lead to some socialization was Brazilian jiu-jitsu, but that's not a place to meet women and for a variety of reasons I can't really do it these days.
> Pursue an interest + find a chick that shares it = shared ride. Why do you want to fuck someone? The sensation and the validation.
> Why would that someone want to fuck? Money. No idea otherwise, really. Obviously, this one had issues.
Jonathan Cooper
> Also I wouldnt be going out of my way to chase her, you will seem desperate, and even if she wanted to hit you up once youve made yourself out to be this desperate character, the last thing she is going to be thinking about is your dick, > Contacting her will be hard on you. It’s likely she won’t respond.
I'm very aware of how I may seem desperate. Hence my asking here how to best handle that. Maybe it's too late.
I kind of think, if I wait a while, maybe it could be okay. Is it super desperate that I sent a text a day later, saying I'm around if she's interested? Isn't that almost kind of common courtesy?
That said, if I want to try again, how long is an appropriate time to wash off the stench of desperation?
Isaiah Martinez
What you did with flicking her a text is fine, Id just leave it there, if you want to lose the stench of desperation you just need to keep busy, keep fresh, keep trying. Think about what you want to have to talk about with this person if she were to contact you? You wanna be living life, going out, keep trying, go out to dinners, make friends, friends help you get laid! Friends are goodd, they show girls that you must be alright and it will keep them thinking "i wanna get to know the guy all his friends like"
If you want more than a hooker style relationship with other humans, you need to be thinking about the other parts of the package. Your value outside of money. What kind of company you provide, the kind of hobbies you have.
Juan Robinson
For further information, she said she hadn't had sex in a long time. And she did talk about doing it more later, in the moment.
Of course, she went home with two guys she just met on the street and fucked one of them. So, I have to assume she has a history of serious promiscuity.
And, I know she was lying sometimes. She said I have a big dick, which is objectively untrue. She also felt my back and said it's big, which is debatable, but I wouldn't put it that way, and kept calling me "beautiful" while we fucked (which doesn't really line up with my experiences with women).
So, maybe it was just more bullshit and she had no intention of doing it again.
Beyond that, as others have said, maybe I do have to just be direct/decisive/commanding when contacting her. Not sure if I should go with like a "dinner tonight?" thing or a "what are you up to tonight?" or "let's hang out tonight" type of thing.
And, nobody who has made suggestions about how to contact her has said anything about when to do it, so I'm still at a total loss there.
Carson Bailey
You’re arguing about fundamental human dynamics.
People connect by sharing interests.
Brazilian jujitsu? Great. Not a good place to pick up a girl? Why the hell not!? But, it seems like you’re focusing too much on the output (getting laid). Focus on enjoying the inputs (your interests). And enjoy the ride.
I don’t believe bjj is your only interest. If it is, fine.
Last and in my experience, finding a sexy girl that isn’t afraid to get a little physical (ie bjj) will probably turn into the most fun sex you’ve ever had.
Good luck bromontana
Ayden Myers
> You wanna be living life Of course, but easier said than done.
> go out to dinners, make friends, friends help you get laid! Yeah, and... how? I've never really had friends that could help me get laid. I've never had many friends, and the ones I've had have generally been losers.
> Friends are goodd, they show girls that you must be alright and it will keep them thinking "i wanna get to know the guy all his friends like" I'll keep that in mind, while I continue to not have friends, like I have for most of my life. Because, that's not going to magically change now. Don't forget, most people my age are married, have kids, are busy with careers, things like that. I'm not a kid, I'm not in school.
> If you want more than a hooker style relationship with other humans, you need to be thinking about the other parts of the package. Your value outside of money. What kind of company you provide, the kind of hobbies you have. Obviously, at this point, it's clear that I do not offer anything that is generally desirable. Please, stop with the pep talk stuff. It's condescending and depressing.
> Brazilian jujitsu? Great. Not a good place to pick up a girl? Why the hell not!? Girls don't do it, that's why.
> I don’t believe bjj is your only interest. If it is, fine. It was, but not for years now.
I go to work. And I go to the gym (also no girls there). The girls that are there are usually with guys.
> Last and in my experience, finding a sexy girl that isn’t afraid to get a little physical (ie bjj) will probably turn into the most fun sex you’ve ever had. Yes, there were a couple attractive girls. Maybe about 1% of them are girls. Of the 3 or so I have seen, none were single. And, they were surrounded by alpha males, including at least two millionaire professional fighters, a couple millionaires for other reasons, and a ton of guys in perfect physical shape with lots of experience with women. So, again, not a place to meet girls.
Caleb Howard
To be honest, I am getting very frustrated by these kinds of responses.
I am about to go to the gym now. It's close to closing and I will stay after closing. I do that to avoid crowds. I don't want to work out in front of people and I don't want to wait and jockey for access to weights.
When I have gone during more normal hours, it's a horror scene and impossible to get shit done.
I go and sit in fast food restaurants and watch TV on my phone.
I have a very private office at a prestigious university. Almost never encounter single girls. And, recently got an email about a policy change completely forbidding relationships with students.
Other than going and standing at bars, I really am not around girls. This is the most I have been around them in a decade. It's not leading to anything though and I'm really getting tired of it.
So, you know so much, you tell me where I need to be. Please, I really have no idea.
I won't get into asking about what to do when I'm there, but that is the next step, and I really need help with that too.
Wyatt Baker
You say you dont have friends, look at this thread, we are social creatures, friends just take effort, time, shared experiences, you get friends by doing stuff with people. Dont you have bjj contacts or training partners? Go watch a fight with them sometime..
Got any family? You can start by making friends with a family member your own age, there are lots of options.
It kind of sounds like you just want to get laid and want an easy trick as if thats the only reason other people are getting laid... Its really not. Its all the other stuff.
Adam Wright
Hey guy
Yep, ive checked in on your thread a couple times now. Originally checked it because of your original posted image but I think I understand your position/feelings.
All of your responses say “I want to bitch”
You have had very “choice” responses to all the feedback in this thread. Namely, poking holes in the good advice. Yep, a lot is shit advice. But...you’ve actually received a bit of great advice. Especially considering where you’re seeking advice.
Here’s my professional opinion.
If you aren’t getting adequate responses/answers and you only want to pick apart other anons help, share what you are thinking of doing and let anons poke holes in your logic.
And for fucks sake man. Post the hottest pictures you have. Responses will be better; sure of it.
Ryder Robinson
You honestly sound like a good package, you work out, you have a decent job, you dont have loads of nightmare Ex's to worry about. I think you should maybe just go see someone about your self esteem. All the best, sorry if things sound condescending, they are coming from a caring place.
Id recommend saying hi to people at gym, and making small talk, sounds like the best way for you to start making "friends" Dont worry about the girls, guy friends will do loads for you right now.
Isaiah Parker
You met a woman on the street? How the fuck did that work out? How did you get to 40 with little sexual experience if you can just meet women on the street?
Josiah Lopez
damn, such disappointing tits
Andrew Roberts
> Dont you have bjj contacts or training partners? I stopped doing it years ago, so no, not really. And going back isn't an option.
The few friends I do have are left over from that era. Actually, only one of them is from that, he's now crippled with MS and lives in another state. The other 2 are guys I know through him, one in his 50s, and the other is a disgusting dirtbag that fucks young niggers.
> Got any family? You can start by making friends with a family member your own age, there are lots of options. Not really. Not my age. Not close to me. Just my brother and we don't really get along.
> It kind of sounds like you just want to get laid and want an easy trick as if thats the only reason other people are getting laid... Its really not. Its all the other stuff. I will take what I can get. Clearly, getting laid is attainable, if rare.
> If you aren’t getting adequate responses/answers and you only want to pick apart other anons help, share what you are thinking of doing and let anons poke holes in your logic. My two plans, from the start, were to either completely give up on her or to wait and contact her. I have asked over and over and over about how long to wait, but nobody will even respond about that.
> And for fucks sake man. Post the hottest pictures you have. Responses will be better; sure of it Nah, just gonna keep going random. What's hot is subjective anyway.
> You honestly sound like a good package On paper, yes, I think I am. Except for my age now. I didn't think my age was such a big deal, but I've found out in recent months that it's a major issue.
> All the best, sorry if things sound condescending, they are coming from a caring place. I appreciate help/advice. I just can't do anything with the "just be a healthy person" shit. I am who and what I am.
James Foster
>Id recommend saying hi to people at gym, and making small talk, sounds like the best way for you to start making "friends" Dont worry about the girls, guy friends will do loads for you right now. Again, easier said than done. It's a rough crew at the time I go, not ladykillers. I've recently been "talking" to the guy that works there, since he lets me stay after closing. Mostly, we just grunt at each other, unless he's asking me to lock up on the way out. And a little talk about the Superbowl, but I don't know football.
> You met a woman on the street? How the fuck did that work out? How did you get to 40 with little sexual experience if you can just meet women on the street? See I agree. But, at her age, that's to be expected.
Benjamin Williams
Here’s your answer
Keep doing you/keep being weird.
The right answer is to not text her, forget her and make guy friends. Bros get you laid without realizing.
If you wanna to humiliate yourself, text her incessantly. 5% chance it works. You have nothing to lose.
Camden Moore
Wait a day or two send one more follow up and move on bud
Jose Cox
> >> You honestly sound like a good package On paper, yes, I think I am. Except for my age now. I didn't think my age was such a big deal, but I've found out in recent months that it's a major issue. Also, I've been fat a few times in my life. Fat in my teens and again through my 30s (at which time I got up to 270lbs).
So, I've got loose skin and stretchmarks and a stomach that won't get flat (even when I went down to 155lbs and people asked if I had cancer).
I also had a lot more muscle in my late 20s, to the point that people thought I was fighting professionally. And, for a brief moment then, I had multiple women interested in me. I got into a relationship with one, who turned out to be a crazy drug addict, who got pregnant (aborted twins), attempted suicide, and got cancer. So, that ate up 8+ years of my elligibility.
>Keep doing you/keep being weird. >The right answer is to not text her, forget her and make guy friends. Bros get you laid without realizing. >If you wanna to humiliate yourself, text her incessantly. 5% chance it works. You have nothing to lose Look, I'm not going to text incessantly. At most, once more. But, if so, when??? Why will nobody fucking address that?
I don't have guy friends. I likely won't have guy friends. That's just how it is. I am not really in social situations much, and when I am, I'm not good at it. I didn't develop those skills growing up.
Finally! Someone is on the right topic. A day or two? Not too soon? I really figured at least a week now, so I don't seem desperate.
Jeremiah Price
I've gotta go lift. It would be awesome if some of you could keep the thread going for a bit.
David Martin
Cock only? What else is she expecting? Or getting often enough to have to permanently tattoo a warning?
Benjamin Powell
nice jew girl. Amazing pussy and tits.
Wyatt Robinson
why the fuck wouldn't you have a drink with her? are you some sort of faggot?
Leo Hernandez
You could have acepted the drink from her and made it look like you were drinking, fuck your a loser