I am schizophrenic

I am schizophrenic.

Symptoms started (out of control, disabling) in 2004. AMA

Spectrum bro!

Schizoaffective since 2014, how do you deal with aligning your timelines with the people around you>?

Do 5 grams of mushrooms and fix your brain.

Do you experience hallucinations and what are some of you do

Bf is SZ
What are your symptoms, pos and neg?

This isn't a real disease, quit seeking being special

how can it be not real when your not real?

> be bipolar and do this and almost jump off a roof
not a good idea.

Not sure what you mean, sorry
Shrooms help, that is for sure (although some of my friends/family believe that my symptoms are drug-induced... actually they started when I starved myself for several weeks (inspired by Jesus' 40 day fast))
I don't consider anything I experience as "schizophrenia" to be hallucinations. I think it is telepathic contact with aliens or spirits or ghosts or what have you. I communicated with them constantly, through all my waking hours, and talk to them about anything I'm doing or involved in (including subjects that you can only communicate with them about because they are telepathic and can sense emotions and physical sensations, so it can be far more interesting than communicating with physical human beings who can only see/hear/smell you. I have no friends, contact with my family is kept to a minimum)
Not 100% sure about the definitions of positive and negative symptoms according to DSM-IV, but if you mean positive and negative symptoms in a general sense... positive symptoms are being slightly psychic, having strong experiences of nature and living creatures (plants, bugs, wild animals), being open to things like alien abductions, UFOs, magick and the occult, and the experiences of religious saints and occultists (I should mention that I hang around on /x/, where quite a few schizophrenics seem to hang around).. and negative symptoms are interrupted sleep, and often my concentration is interrupted so I can't do things I would like to.
>This isn't a real disease
I know
Schizophrenia can be a very weird and enlightening experience. But it can also destroy people. If you are "realer" than what you are experiencing you should survive it

made up disease fuck you

Since the thread's a bit dead I'll tell you about some of my experiences.

When the voices started in 2004 they were extremely threatening, saying they were gonna kill me, gonna chop me up, make me hurt myself, etc. I was running around for a while after they started, panicking, wondering what was going to happen.

That they (the ghosts/aliens/spirits that were telepathically communicating to me) would not do anything whatsoever seemed too embarrassing to be true at the time. Unfortunately that is exactly what happened. None of their threats came true, I was just tamely diagnosed as mentally ill and put on a sickness benefit.

>sickness benefit.
That is, social welfare, for a disabled person (I'm a New Zealander)

its you as your own brain talking to yourself, have some self control, fucking pathetic

Do you enjoy Homeland on Showtime?

here

I by timelines I mean do you have the self-actualization to contort your personal realities to the reality of neurotypicals around you?

how do you manage to keep what is playing in your head in line with the stimuli the natural world throw at you?

If i'm still not making sense I can try breaking it down, I don't know many other schizoids that are not completely dysfunctional

I have had some pretty fucking unbelievable experiences... the symptoms, or experience of schizophrenia, sort of built up over several years, so that at the peak of it I was having experiences that I would not have believed were possible at the start of it, and at the start of it nobody that I talked to about it would believe a word of what I was telling them. So that's how I would describe some of it... find a person who'll believe the unbelievable... tell them something they won't believe. That's what can actually happen.

Some of the spirits/aliens that I communicate/communicated with are aware of our system on earth, on the physical earth that we have defined with physics chemistry and biology, of diagnosing the "inexplicable" as mental illness, and so in a sense they live in the cracks between what we consider real and sane and official, and what we consider absolutely deranged and .... well, "mental illness". The imaginations of a deranged mind.

Most, I would say, of the visitors I had were relatively uninterested in my situation and the realities of my life on this planet earth. Some of them were outright aggressive and seemed to wish me destroyed (fortunately their ability to do so turned out to be extremely limited, they are essentially "fairies" or "ghosts" in this harsh physical world, on a physical planet, in a physical galaxy, in a physical ... "universe").

not OP but having your brain talk to itself is pretty jarring when those voices sound like your own inner monologue . think of a voice that you mistake for your own voice narrating tour life like a belligerent morgan freeman while throwing in suggestions about hurting yourself or others, telling you "secrets" about people that are based on very subtle hints BUT you don't realize that those very thoughts aren't yours but your illness's. you tend to start questioning if you exist as this detached marionette or if you share thought waves with other people from other dimensions.

how do you grab control if you don't know what control is supposed to feel like

I do have self control, actually I have half a physics/genetics degree (I dropped out of university as my symptoms started) and was dux of my high school.
I have actually removed virtually all direct contact with other people, except for my father and occasional visits to doctors. It suits me and my goals at this point in time. If you contact me telepathically you will find out what I am doing.... not necessarily in your conscious mind, but you may find out something in the spirits and beings around you. I will not tell you what I am doing and why I live this way explicitly, not even on Sup Forums/b/... to tell people telepathically what I am doing and why I live this way was a reason I started this thread, as I have found that when I write posts on internet forums I am visited by beings who read the posts. So I know that by making this thread on Sup Forums I will have visitations, or contacts.
So, I mentioned visitors... some of them were not that interested in my situation, some were purely aggressive... but I wanted to mention that many of them were perfectly aware of my situation, on this earth planet, and of my inevitable interest in them and their world, which is that they were, as they described to me, from more evolved planets that this planet earth. Planets where they had learned to telepathically communicate with other people on other planets, including an ability to communicate with people on planets where we "hadn't" yet learned their communication abilities. A primitive planet, to them.

It is interesting in this age where we have space travel and computers and wireless communication to be called "primitive", but to many of the beings I talked to that is what they said. They communicated directly, with thoughts... you might call it telepathy or psychic communication, but they were very careful (occasionally) to explain to me that it isn't some kind of magic telepathic communication or such, that it is just a normal common ability

They mentioned computers and supercomputers A LOT.
One quote from one from a more evolved planet than ours was "problems that you will solve later with your supercomputers"... they referred constantly to our scientific progress, and I will admit to you that they were morbidly fascinated with the stark reality that we spend billions of dollars on equipment to make scientific discoveries ... that they already know. For example, what would be the value of an accurate "periodic table of the elements" to a guy from 500 AD? Really, you would want to sell it to a government. It would be worth billions, right? And so we go on, making discoveries with insane equipment like CERN... discovering things that these aliens already know.

Clearly the problem is a communication problem. And communication was another one of these alien's obsessions... in line with the interest in computing and supercomputers they mentioned cryptography a lot. But they talked about it in an insane way, a way I found bloody hard to relate to... they said... if all of your thoughts, emotions, and feelings, are psychically shared with the whole universe, that you need some kind of encryption, some kind of security. We used to talk about it as "psychic security" because they talked about it so much (that was many years ago, 2010, actually).

They talked to me about Stephen Hawking, and about how because of his disability he is used to communicating directly by pushing a little button... not a 104 key keyboard like we all use to post on Sup Forums, but just a single button... except he has to push it in a particular order. And because that method of communication is so limited they said it helps him to communicate with them, and they help him with his physics research. They said that things that they could communicate or express or teach in minutes or seconds would take hours with Stephen Hawking.

I am sorry to admit that I am speaking the absolute truth about those things they said about Stephen Hawking. They said them to me because I have half a physics/genetics degree. They seemed to think that I know a hell of a lot more about physics than I actually do... I dropped out after second year, I really never found out much.

>if all of your thoughts, emotions, and feelings, are psychically shared with the whole universe, that you need some kind of encryption, some kind of security.
In line with these kinds of topics they started relating it to religion, or spirituality, like joining a religion would give you some kind of "psychic security". One of the guys I met was really open with me, I remember him pretty clearly... he really did not realise that he was basically communicating with an alien who was mind-blown that he existed at all... I remember something he said... some day, he said something like "we eat food that falls from the table of God". I don't know what he meant by that, but I just thought it was amazing for some being to say that, apparently sincerely. I asked him if he had schools, or if his society had schools (he seemed young)... he said they did, but from his description it seemed to not be like our schools. More like physical coordination.... like... where we learn intellectual facts or mental skills in school, to them, to these telepathic etheric beings or spirits, the ability to think and remember is like some kind of physical ability like skating or riding a BMX.

One day he said something like "if you have a God, they help you, but they rape you". Sort of talking about how Christians/Muslims/Hindus etc can have favours granted for them by the Gods they worship, but it is not free

I both understand and respect your want of anonymity. I used to be better about traveling the astral plain but between alcohol, drugs and succumbing to a pretty bad psychotic episode where I'm pretty sure I almost was taken in my sleep, I've severed outgoing connections.

You sound like you lean to the avoidance/Schizotypal part of the spectrum, I think i'm somewhere between schizoid and Schizotypal but i'd have to have another opinion.

If I may ask (be as vague as you must) but what have you made your mission in life at this time? I'm currently on focusing on becoming a wanderer and blending in with the crust punk nomads (they are the most accepting of strangers as long as you're passive)

You've got something other than that my friend. I had my first manic phase when I was 13. I've been smoking pot almost every day since then and I haven't had another outburst since(24).

>what have you made your mission in life at this time?
To catch up on my learnings of UFOs/Alien theories/alien abductions, magick and the occult, the experiences of religious saints and other occultists, and parapsychology (subjects I wasn't taught at school, unlike physics/chemistry/biology). I would also like to brush up on geology and meteorology.

and genocide

Who has to be burned off and why? i don't judge But i strongly avoid violence and hatred

I plan you spread the influence of the universal pulse. basically the connection to the energy that influenced the idea of higher powers (religion). reconnecting with the universe grants you a sort of peace and the best way to connect is through the story of jesus (he was never a savior but a blueprint for salvation and by living like jesus)

My ex is also on our specturm. she got way to deep into the magic part and was lost to fae (and meth sadly)

Are you hoping to be a scholar and archivist or do you plan on using your education for more practical reasons?

Outside of being quite literally insane.
You guys are fucking nerds in your own right. Don't ever blame what you were born with for how weird you are.

it's true when they say schitzos are usually harmless. but because of our wacky beliefs we tend to be victims more than assailants.

Think if pop culture tried to sell the idea of us being dorks vs. the trope (in movies like split) of being unstable monsters and detached from humanity.

I don't blame my illness for anything more than my inability to properly connect to people around me as well as making it a bit difficult to contol my emotions, anxiety and depression.

also, needing to take some form of chemical to maintain is super annoying

I'll tell you some more, since it's 5:31am NZ time, and I've been drinking for about 16 hours.... and there's nobody here filling up the ylyl thread.

In 2010, when my experience was getting really severe, like out of control, like I had been well taken care of by the government and psychiatric services and my family but I was getting slightly scared of what was happening, I remember a being approaching me... and the being just came out and said "I am satan" or something like that. I had seen a lot of beings getting a bit out of control but having a being just state that they were Satan chilled me. And they looked me right in the eye after saying "I am satan" and said "and I came here and saw my friend the devil".

I then very rapidly lost my rapport with the being as it began showing me its rather immense awareness of beings around me in mental planes that I'd barely been introduced to... I know that's not a very good description, but it seemed to have the ability to track beings' paths or movements in "the mind" (as opposed to the physical world).... the "Satan" being (or beings, rather) followed me around for years, and showed me many amazing things, like some kind of psychological development that it said happened as beings journey from plane to plane (a highly different existence to the one we experience, on this physical earth). And sometimes they were highly offensive and intimidating as Satan should/would be... but often they were extremely friendly. They were often highly impressive, with their psychic abilities and insights. They mentioned that they can be associated with what muslims call Shaitans, who are simply "Spiritually wise beings"... not necessarily pure evil.

L O B O T O M I Z E

You literally just blamed your condition for 3 different things. You can meld in with the rest of the world you just choose not to. Whether or not it's extremely difficult or not it's something you have to get over or you're going to be trapped by your own illness. Don't fall back into weird stupid shit or people are going to treat you exactly how you think they will.

>Who has to be burned off and why?
All religious people.
Because of prohibition of virtually all psychoactive drugs except for ethanol.

Rough, but....

>You can meld in with the rest of the world you just choose not to. Whether or not it's extremely difficult or not it's something you have to get over or you're going to be trapped by your own illness. Don't fall back into weird stupid shit or people are going to treat you exactly how you think they will.
Not who who were replying to, but who the fuck would actually want to blend in to your world. You don't know shit. Schizophrenia is a blessing.

>blessing

they've been treating me that way since 6th grade my dude, i'm used to being an outcast that literally can't relate to neurotypicals.

i'm upset at the fact i need to take 3-5 medications daily that if I take as prescribed i'm basically a function less zombie but without them completely i become an erratic sinking ship of social skills with an apathetic view of both mortality and morality.

you're the same user , yes?

why are you being so dismissive over something you don't experience?

my advice, destroy your mind with a healthy mix of hypnotics, amphetamines and LCD to trigger a psychosis than get back to me about how easy it is to get a grip.

blame Nixon for that. he started the war on drugs to try and kill off the counter-culture

>blessing
Slow down turbo. speak for yourself. It'd be easier to live a blissful life untouched by what schizophrenia unlocks for you

I was not that same user. I'm aware of the daily struggles you have to deal with on a mental and physical level. My parents disowned me and my sister when we were children. Yadayada I took care of everything until she started acting different. She started showing signs, and since my grandmother used to talk to our dead grandfather when she was off her meds I knew it was happening.
That doesn't matter, what matters is she is living her life to the fullest with a masters in psychology she hasn't had a manic episode in over 15 years. The doctors have absolutely no idea why, it's like she's permanently in a manic state but she's managed to control it to her whim to make her better at what she does. Honestly is fucking crazy.
About the drugs, I tripped on dmt for around 6 months straight until I had a seizure. Nothing bad happened but I know what you mean.

>Slow down turbo. speak for yourself. It'd be easier to live a blissful life untouched by what schizophrenia unlocks for you
That's like claiming life in an egg is easier than being a hatchling. A chick in an egg doesn't actually have a life.

20 year old diagnosed with schizophrenia unspecified here. My episode was typified by delusions much moreso than hallucinations, first thinking p3ople were following me, my girlfriend was a government agent, everyone in town knew I was a sociopath, then it got worse to thinking people were shapeshifting aliens taking form of humans and Trump was a reincarnation of Hitler and I was the reincarnation of Carl Panzram, then the world was ending, people could communicate telepathically, there was a genocide of black people by the US government, etc ad nauseam. Mainly influenced by my bullshit interest in the occult and conspiracy theories. I'm on latuda 60mg and I've been on antipsychotics since March 2016 a month after I started showing signs. I want to taper off my medication and see how I respond. I can cope with the infrequent hallucination or delusion and I don't know what my delusions would even be now that I'm an atheist realist. I don't think the pharmaceutical jew is necessary for acute/mild cases of mental illness

If you want to look at it that way.
Everytime I hear something I don't have to wonder if it's in my mind or its real.
Same with seeing something.
My perception of reality has a minimum amount of doubt, outside of ghosts which I have seen and do believe in. Whereas you have to second, triple, even maybe quadruple guess yourself on if the talking banana is real or only in your mind.

>accute/mild
You have no idea if it's mild because it was caught relatively early. You do not know the damage you could have done to yourself or others. I don't condone going off of your meds, but if you do, please do it in a controlled environment incase you have another manic attack.

Well I tried strangling my car because I thought aliens were spying on me through it's eyes and I broke into a bookstore by throwing a cinderblock through the glass entrance because I thought the world was ending and I needed a bible to be beamed up in the rapture, my point is my delusions were influenced by spiritual conspiracy bullshit and I'm an atheist now

Cat not car

You certainly need medication.

Shit man, I have the same experience of this as your sister, i'm perpetually locked in this state of being unable to grasp the world around me but I can kinda bridge my delusional beliefs to kinda sorta align with normality. I also just kinda take everything in stride and just act as if it is supposed to be normal and reinforce that by asking people around me what they perceive.

>thought: there was just a Mandela shift and I've been dumped in another time line.
>ask range people with different degrees formality to myself vague questions that can determine what has changed and what has remained the same
>adjust worldview accordingly

Keeping in mind that I am the one with the dysfunction and thus I need to be the conformist in order to not be exposed as well as trusting my rocks (people I chose to believe/understand/trust unconditionally) I can maintain a very loose facade of normalcy.

I have been wondering if others can work like this too. sounds like she can?

I mean, on one hand you're stuck in this confined shell in a blissful, peaceful existence, but once that shell cracks you are exposed to things much larger than yourself that are apathetic to your mortality at best or out to consume or manipulate you at the worst. and there is no going back. givin that there was never a choice in leaving said shell I hesitate to feel blessed

I used to be on that same dose but it made carving my skin off too enjoyable. I'm on a seroquil/lithium/rexulti cocktail at the moment

Ay, things are a bit different for me and my sister. We both completely lack empathy. Maybe it's some sort of defense mechanism. We have each other I guess in people we try to care for but we can be in the same room for hours on end not saying a single word and know exactly what each other is thinking kind of like having a mental conversation. It's hard to really understand the scope of things without seeing it first hand, we aren't twins she's 2 years younger than me. It's like her illness connected us on a different level.

Yeah bro I'm thinking about lowering the dose to 40mg I can handle being a little jumpy and hyper vigilant the dread side effect and akathisia from latuda fucking sucks dick

>first thinking p3ople were following me
OP here. This is my advice. In general I have found people who I've seen involved in this kind of severe spiritual contact (eg mediums, and other schizophrenics, psychic workers) seem ludicrously (yes, ludicrously) poor at distinguishing between things that happen in this physical plane or world that we dissect with scientific instruments and precision and can see/hear/touch, and what happens in non-physical planes (eg what happens to etheric beings, or ghosts or spirits). And that includes beings that I am in contact with, that I communicate with regularly.

I would suggest from what you have described that beings (non-physical beings) have actually followed you, but it has been misrepresented to you as "physical world" beings (humans) following you.
>my girlfriend was a government agent
Beings from different powers can observe and even possess people rather easily... but note that these are non-physical beings, not the physical humans. I have literally seen people go insane around me, acting like the psychosis that I have become used to.... it just shows how pliable the mind of a human who isn't hardened by schizophrenia can be.

To quote another example... a friend of mine visited me from England... when I met him at my house he looked like someone else, and he literally said "I don't know you"... but after a few minutes he had resumed his former appearance that I knew him as when we were younger... I have found non-psychics or non-schizophrenics will barely acknowlege these kinds of experiences, while to "us" they are highly obvious. I know that I was simply looking initially at the english spirits or beings that had been associated with him during his time in England.

>everyone in town knew I was a sociopath
Plenty of etheric beings knew you, and that you are highly psychic.. tho, I have seen numerous examples of communication between an etheric being and a physical plane being, so you can never be too sure

I will consume you.

Well, you're a fucking loon. I don't know what they prescribe to you but it needs to be doubled. You are borderline a danger to society even moreso yourself. You seem to believe the things you see are reality but they aren't and associating yourself with people with similar illnesses is contorting your mind into believing it's real even more. You need help my friend and not from people like yourself, you need medical professionals.

>then it got worse to thinking people were shapeshifting aliens taking form of humans
That is merely reality my friend.
>Trump was a reincarnation of Hitler
He is actually associated with Hitler. I have seen multiple visions associated with him, and recently saw a severe one where he was exerting his military might and associating it with a sort of Hitler-like movement. I started cutting my contacts with him (and even directly attacking him) after that. So I find it interesting that you have seen a similar type experience or vision, but I assure you (OP here) that what you imagined is real as shit. His family's original surname was "Drumpf", it is a German surname.
>people could communicate telepathically
All beings, from plants to insects to demi-gods can communicate telepathically.

I don't know if you'll find this helpful, but a book that is freely available online, "Autobiography of a Yogi", is parapsychological from start to finish if you want to read it. But you should balance it with study of the occult and UFOs/aliens

The thing I'm perceiving has to actually have relevance before I need to seriously inquisition whether it is a physical world "real" happening or a mental intuition. It just so happens that 99% of my experiences are not that important. I imagine that that ratio would drop to about 90% if I were a soldier in a combat zone,

haha gotta love people who don't understand diseases. I assume all the people with depression should just be happy? and all the people who are alcoholics should just stop drinking? etc... it's called a disease because you're body isn't functioning the way it should be

>Spectrum bro!
What does a cable company have to deal with this!?

>my point is my delusions were influenced by spiritual conspiracy bullshit
OP here again, just read your post. Maybe you'd like to know that when my "voices" started they claimed that they were Jesus, that they'd known me for 800 years (through multiple incarnations), and that they were omniscient. cf >givin that there was never a choice in leaving said shell I hesitate to feel blessed
Judge what I've said, and whether I would choose to go back. I would rather die.
I have the same experience with wild birds and insects. It's insane but I think they fly around, like thoughts fly, and thus they connect.

The other user isn't wrong. It is quite hard but it is possible to overcome with help.

>We both completely lack empathy
I hate you. i'm hyperempathic where, in some cases, it feels as others are throwing their emotional states at me. like i've had friends land in certain moods that trigger uncontrolled panic/agitation in me. I realized that's the bi-polar component in schizoaffective but it's fucking annoying. and I feel bad because usually the party that triggers those switches have no clue what they are doing.

I used to have that same mental connection to my ex. she used it to control me to get her way tho.. it's a double edged blade. having that sort of connection can be a real hazard.

i'm no doctor but i've researched all of my drugs as far back as possible. Latuda being Atypical you're less likely to experience tarditive muscle movement. so keep that in mind. serotonin syndrome is more likely . i'd ask about a stabilizer like trazadone, lithium or welbutran to even out the med's flow. like i said. latuda made cutting myself not only an urge but a compulsion as well as risky behavior. but at least it's not seroquil which basically kills your brain at 200mg (i'm told to take 800mg daily and boy let me tell you about life as a zombie)

consume this dick, bitch

i mean, he mentioned his regular check-ins with doctors. so your solution is void. and also. who are you to dictate what reality is to him? how do you know you're not the delusional one?

holy shit you worded it so fucking well. i've been trying to make that idea cohesive for years

they are the the main company related to controlling the psychologically impaired. but schizophrenia is more of a spectrum of dysfunctions like autism, and most(not all) have cluster A personality disorders that affect our symptom's manifestations

Sucks OP. A very close friend of mine was diagnosed a couple years ago. He was relatively normal until one day he just snapped and started rapping to strangers about jesus and burrying random "cursed" objects in fields. It took a few jail stays, but they eventually diagnosed him after a year or two and medicated him to the point that he could barely talk.

Now he's off the medication and back to his old self. We're all just waiting for him to snap again. This time I hope he becomes a wrestler rather than a rapper.

>rapping

It's actually called clanging and it's more fun to do than it seems. it's a part of flight of thoughts IMHO preferable to word salad or thought blocking

There isn't a single animal in the known existence that can communicate telepathically. Animals and insects make noises, use pheromones, and use body language. What the fuck are you talking about.

You attempt to say my solution is void when schizos are notorious for lying point blank to medical professionals. A check-in doesn't cover all of the bases or even half of them it's mainly a sanity test that's easily workable in the mental state that man is currently in.

I have it, fuck people who say it's not real... I've learned to live with it but the highs aren't worth the lows and my meds don't work. Going to try CBD cannabis cause I've heard good stories about it

Please quote him I think schizophrenia is the best thing that's ever happened to me, for the reasons expressed in that post.

Please see my previous posts and imagine how far this conversation could (or couldn't) go

I should tell you about a conversation I had with the ... spirits (the schizophrenia). Their view was far advanced beyond our typical view that "if you telepathically read someone's mind you're psychic" or "if you can beam energy at someone you're psychic" (at the start of my 'journey' I practised deep muscle relaxation for weeks while fasting (I shit you not) and after that I could actually induce an experience in the friends I had at the time (the last friends I'll ever have) by "beaming" my energy through my hands at their foreheads while they hit nos... at around the same time (this is 2003) I visited a Christian church and attended a ceremony where a visiting priest was blessing people... I was a bit skeptical but decided to have a go, so I went to the front to receive "a blessing". When he put his hand on my forehead, while I had my eyes closes, I could see a brilliant white light coming off his hand). The beings said that ... well they said that "we" simply assume that all of our physical sensations and emotions and thoughts (basically everything we experience) is telepathically communicated, beamed to the whole universe. They discussed with me briefly the idea that different parts of the human anatomy communicate subtly with different psychic planes, even such that a whole view of "a human being" should be seen as them plus all planes they are communicating with them. I would recommend googling "endocrine chakras". Then you will get sites comparing the "medical" endocrine system with the "spiritual" chakra system.

>pheromones
And our brains can receive those pheromones. some brains decode the messages in them. we're all chemical synapses. what is your point?

your bias is blatant and your views of schizoids is scant.

> schizos are notorious for lying point blank to medical professionals

this may be true until hospitalization in enforced. but after your medications balance out it's easier to trust doctors. Like I'm not saying I don't lie to my psych about things but it's usually because there are things that are unnecessary to talk about because, in my case anyway, the urge for self destruction isn't going to change no matter how long i'm in-patient or how tweaked my meds are and it's not worth the frustration.

>it's mainly a sanity test
Yes. and even doing check-ins is complying. which shows you're aware that you're sick, and if you were a possible danger to yourself or others, you wouldn't be complying to authorities (especially over your brain)

look. just because someone's reality doesn't line up with yours means they are a danger. it's when that person believe their reality is the truth and actually reality is a facade that must be overcome. that's when they need help.

also by your logic. is schizoids are all blatant liars to their doctors, than what would be the point of OP seeking help if he is just gonna lie anyway? it's void because of that circular logic.

Krantom works well too. but CBD is awesome none the less.

damn my dude, that's very well stated. I'm still learning to accept myself in accompaniment of my illness, I hated it because it hit me full blast at a critically important time and shut me the fuck down for like two years. I lost out on a lot of life because of it but since i've started embracing it i've been a lot happier

You contradicted yourself almost every sentence. It isn't scant, I raised one and she came out perfectly fine. You're trying to defend someone that is clearly damaged beyond repair. Just because his reality doesn't like up with mine isn't the issue, it's the fact that is reality is completely in his head and it may be to others around him.
Our brains cannot receive the pheromones of animals, we can smell it but our sense of smell and our other senses aren't as keen as other primates. Saying we're all chemical synapses as the only way to defend your shit point is completely broad. Since I'm a chemical synapse according to you I can just phase through a wall.

>
>>pheromones
>And our brains can receive those pheromones. some brains decode the messages in them. we're all chemical synapses. what is your point?

t. moron

...

i mean, you could. with enough pressure you can get the atoms in your body to move through the atoms in a wall but you'd die in this process.

your brain can understand the smell of pheromones. literally your brain has to receive them to smell them. and animal pheromones have shown to have slight effects on humans.

>I raised one therefore i'm just as experienced in handling this condition as anyone living it

that's not only irrelevant.it's narcissism and you need to stop thinking your brood's condition is cookie-cut along with everyone else's.

you're entire tone is offensively dismissive and grossly black and white.

>You're trying to defend someone that is clearly damaged beyond repair

you're attacking someone that may or may not have less control of their manifested symptoms than your afflicted child. and since schizos are notorious liars, how do you know your kid doesn't lie to YOU out of shame or fear?

stop being ignorant and trying to act like you have some kind of high ground you have no actually reason to be on.

i still struggle with the timelines, i go from everyone is a pyschologist to mental prison torturer to entertainment trainers to regular co workers every 5-10 seconds. than the radio just completely overrules the entire atmosphere, its really really fking hard to be in touch with your surroundings and not become an asshole because you think u are special etc.

Op here. Don't argue with these guys, come hang out with us on /x/.
>schizos are notorious for lying point blank to medical professionals
My approach to medical professionals has done a 180° turn. At the start I would tell them anything to avoid telling them the details and truth about what I was experiencing. Since my experience went from weird to mufcking supernatural I just tell them the truth, since at the worst it'll just open their borders and if they don't believe me they'll say I'm crazy.... if they do believe me they'll agree that I'm being severely affected or influenced by aliens or etheric beings and need support... either way the end result is the same - a prescription for medication (which, fwiw, I stockpile) and a signature for social welfare for another 2 years (hahah).

It's hard to really word but the key is to disregard the non-essential thoughts asap
worded it well. during a manic phase my auditory hallucinations become random outburst of electronic static which is really distracting but as soon as they pass I make sure not to dwell on the experiences. as hard as it can be. in your case, situational acceptance of how you perceive others can be smoothed out by these thoughts

>let them go about their business, let them do their jobs
>you have no control over those circumstances and thus you have no need to panic because there is nothing you need to or can change.
>despite how volatile things seem. remember to only react in retaliation to direct actions and not act in any preemptive effort unless you want to escalate the situation

i made up these tenants as to not let my illness influence bad impulses

>anything is possible
>what if
>my opinion is worth more
Your opinion along with his means absolutely nothing since you mentally can't provide for yourself hence you try to make invalid arguments and make up random bullshit.
Your euphoric ideals on a hidden world is part of your mental condition I'm highly narcissistic but there are rules for a reason. Just because you're mind makes you think you're coloring outside the lines pushing boundaries of things you've manifested in your head doesn't make you right about anything.
As stated I said they are notorious for lying to medical professionals. But since you want to not read anything I say and think you're right you go ahead and do that.
I have all the right in the world to be on the high ground, because mentally, physically, and socially I am higher than you by a fucking mile.

i fully disagree, my ex went schiz while we were together, i didn't know what hit me until i was faced with a huge butcher knife in the kitchen upon coming home from work. A few minutes prior i had discovered:
A burned hole in my mattress, about an inch deep and 6 wide
ALL MY WHITE WALLS COVERED IN HELVETICA LIGHT 6 containing mostly undecypherable nazi shit (she was Vietnamese-german -- dangerous mix indeed)
my bathroom completely trashed -- toilet, bathtub, shower, everything
... and subsequently getting pissed at her.
The next day she was admitted as a (now permanent) in-pattient, after having beaten the shit out of me. An 80 pound asian against a 6ft 6in / 200lbs swimmer... and she beat the crap out of me, like no one ever.
As for the mushroom advice: her condition had been pushed forward by taking mescaline, so that's the worst fucking advice ever man;

This is the person you're defending. Who has clearly lost all of his marbles and is living off the government.

link to thread?

gb2/pol/ you're acting like a cumslut

So you honestly believe this shit your mind is forcing you to see is real?
You insisting doesn't mean whatever weird fucking manifestations your brain is creating based on your belief in these things isn't uncommon. But believing it's real and trying to push this false imagery to others is beyond what should be going on. You aren't taking your meds, and you need to be hospitalized.

>I have all the right in the world to be on the high ground, because mentally, physically, and socially I am higher than you by a fucking mile.
Op here
I insist that you don't know shit, posts related
(You)
(You)
I believe myself to be 10,000 miles above the common man

...

Get help you sad sack of shit. Don't get reeled in to false information. Before you make your sad life worse than what it already is.

this is the person i'm defending him against. a self-righteous egotist who sounds like a fascist and seems to lack any ability to entertain abstract thought while putting down any who he can't sync with.
you're throwing every straw man and irrelevancy at me while ignoring any point i've tried explaining and you you think you're above either of us than why are you in such need of our acknowledgment.

are you that insecure that you need to, on Sup Forums of all places, flex that superiority over us? do you want us to jack you off as well? you are the one coming off as irrational and in need of help, i'm no better by arguing but god damn dude. you need to get a grip and stop trying to prove how much better you are to people that are unable to give a fuck about how you think on this subject

proof your info is correct? i'd like to see your research into the matter, please. educate me. tell me how you can identify everything I perceive and experience and show me numbers on how sick and sad my life is. because a stranger on an image board that is 85% porn is an expert in an illness that is still largely misunderstood and misdiagnosed. because i'd love to better my life any way possible

>egotist
>facist
None of this is wrong.
That doesn't mean I am.
>strawman irrelevant blah blah
You don't need my acknowledgment you need professional help. You've explained absolutely nothing of any relevance to this situation. You clearly believe you are correct when you just prove yourself wrong at every corner. All you do is insult me and whine about me as a person instead of looking at yourself. All I'm trying to do is get you to seek medical help, taking your meds may help maybe it won't. Maybe you won't hurt yourself or others until that alien whispers into your ear to murder someone and you do it. I've seen all of this before and no matter how I am as a person I'd rather not see someone do something they deeply regret when it could have been stopped.
>calling me egotistical but calling me insecure
I have a god complex captain, i don't need to prove myself to anyone because to myself I am the best whether it be true or not I can give a fuck less. It's you that so wants to prove himself to me, I'm just trying to help in my own way.

>aliens talk to me
>mystical wizard beings exist
>hilter is a lizard man
>I was reborn
>I see things that aren't there
What you see is exactly what you said it is, a perception of your own reality.
>back to the personal insults
I'm sure you would bud we all do, you can start by seeking help and not falling into some /x/ rabbit hole that caters to people with deep mental illnesses by creating connections normal people wouldn't make to completely irrelevant things.

I fucking repeat, don't argue with these guys, come hang out on /x/, you will see there are years of study to complete in various schools, and amazing skills to learn... just share with normies, you don't need to argue with them about things they could never reasonably accept

What what?

If you don't see that this guy is batshit crazy there's more than what you think is going on going on in your head.

look man. i got nothing to prove, i'm not OP, i'm the schizoaffective user. I've made a multiple point you've either ignore are dismissed because you failed to put more than 2 seconds of thought into them.

you've belittled multiple anons ITT without any consideration for what they are going through

you've dismissed any of our senses of self realizations and ignored how you are coming off as a person.

you have no actual proof that we are dangers to ourselves or others and now you've come after both OP and me despite how we both admit to taking medication and seeing our doctors (completely ignoring stated coping mechanisms).

>OP want's to study the paranormal.basically a scholar
>I want to basically live a life like jesus' life portrayed in the bible while traveling with folk punks
OMG WE'RE TIME BOMBS, SOME ONE BETTER SEDATE US BEFORE WE...go about our lives.

what does any of this matter to you though? what would you rather have us do? what makes you think your way of life could ever work for us?

Honestly if it was my choice id euthanize you to keep it out of the gene pool.
I understand you think you aren't a danger to yourself but like you said previously it's not like anyone can experience/feel the exact same way you do. Your mind is just a giant conflict within itself and you are expecting people to absorb you into society when we have absolutely no idea what can happen with you if you go on some sort of manic episode.
You haven't made a single point at all outside of insulting me as a person. Nobody can know what you are going through and I understand that, but that doesn't mean you can't help yourself be normal. Self realizations that may or may not be reality lol what does that even mean? That you honestly think someone could ever take you seriously to a point where you would be accepted thinking you're literally Jesus?
The proof is you have no control over your own mind, op clearly said he doesn't take the meds and just gets government checks. You are a timebomb whether it matter to you or not.

I am the OP, I have been talking for pages about my contacts with aliens. I simply assume that you are saying that the OP (myself) is batshit crazy because I've been telling you about my alien contacts. I know they are (VERY) rare.

There's a guy who's been making big posts... he's not me, I'm the OP, talking about the contacts with beings from other planets.

Ok, go ahead and tell me I'm crazy. I won't argue. I've been advising the other guy to come hang out on /x/ and not try to convince you guys of things you could never reasonably be expected to believe.

He's been defending me, occasionally. He is insane, nobody can defend me.

Of course, this other guy is having certain issues "fitting into society" that I don't have as I'm highly allergic to it and enjoy every moment I spent away from or antagonising it

Well at least you know you're insane.

i mean, i get his beliefs aren't conventional, but mine aren't better.

>god is the actual universe and religions exist to keep humanity from knowing the true higher power
>our universe is actually split into different realities/timelines that we slip in between constantly.
>mirrors show us parallel universes that are basically the reverse whatever timeline we're in
>jesus wasn't a man but a blueprint for how man should be/act
>shadow people are just echos from other realities and they know a lot of secrets if you can figure out how to talk to them.
>everything runs on the power of belief, the more people believe in something, the stronger it can manifest
>Mandella shifts happen randomly and constantly moves shelves of people through different timelines but most changes are too minute to see.
>Psychosis happens when you open your third eye to quickly (like going blind in a drastic light change)
>every creation of dreams, nightmares and fiction exist on other timelines. but because we are all one conscious, other timelines without them are able to enjoy those creations AS imaginary (somewhere H.P. lovecraft's old gods are real but lucklly we're not close enough to those timelines to know that"
>the astral plain controls our subconscious
>some people are rouges, they know everything and only exist to muddy the water and make sanity a biased subject. and must be avoided before they send you into other realities.
>the Illuminati are basically the monks of the universal gods that the rouges have spent time to discredit and dismiss
>mammals (reptilians) were set into a rapid-evolution after they greys landed, took out the less useful subjects (dinosaurs) in implanted the concept of time in the remaining mammals as a way of recolonizing after destroying their homeworld
>soulmates exist and if connected, rouges attempt to re-separate
>I know how all of this sounds to you but it's what I believe and i don't really give a fuck how batshit it sounds.

motherfucker

>Honestly if it was my choice id euthanize you to keep it out of the gene pool.

Look man, I'm not disagreeing with you. I get pretty self destructive off meds. like suicide has been a really struggle but my life should be mine alone to take. you saying that compared to me wanting to peacefully chill with lepers and whores really tells who the dangerous one is.

and i've been insulting you because every response you've made has been pretty insulting as well. give what you take.

link to thread? i'm in the /x/ catalog and any related seeming thread is b8

i do now. meet me in /x/. I wanna know you thoughts on alien influences on humanity.

>takes it as a compliment
I would

Sorry, deleted that post on you as I was suddenly thinking you knew what you'd done... blah whatever.

Just me, but the whole time I was seriously schizophrenic I was so pissed off at "the schizophrenia" that when I had the choice (which was quite often, given I was funded by the government) I would choose to stay off meds, and spend my time antagonising the schizophrenia. So I don't know about what your particular experience is like, and how it responds to meds, but I would advise... FIGHT! hah

Continuuing

Alien influences on humanity.... ok I'm gonna write another full post. The beings I was in contact with talked a lot about alien influences in evolution and in genetics (remember I have half a BSc in Genetics (and physics)). I remember a weird conversation/contemplation I had with them during my fullest contact with them which was about 5 years ago ... they were discussing perception of colour, and suggesting that if a person's DNA is coded differently their perception of colour could be different..... eg if you re-wrote someone's DNA they could see entire colours switched. I'm not sure if that's actually feasible, but they discussed it.

An interesting idea that they introduced to me that evolution doesn't work by "some kind of God-guided mechanism", but it doesn't work entirely by some kind of random process either. The beings suggested that they can have microscopic control over atoms and molecules, and thus they can highly influence genetic processes.

To be exact, you would wonder what influence these so called "aliens" or "spirits" could have on our physical world. So I should describe the influence they had on me.... and these are part of typical schizophrenic symptoms...
1!: they can influence emotions. At first this can be very upsetting and disturbing, for an only onset schizophrenic, until one recognises it as part of the alien fuckwits' repetoire of tricks
2: during the peak of my experience many beings were visiting me, as if "visiting me" was legit (it wasn't, I spent a lot of time trying to kill them, and was rude to a lot of them.... it was always funny,.. they would say "you were rude"... I would say "I was trying to kill you")... but some did and said some amazing things.... so one experience stands out as an example of "etheric" interference with our physical plane... that is I had a cheap multimeter with me... a visitor arrived while I had the multimeter near me and was changing the voltage reading on the multimeter right in front of my eyes....

In fact, that experience was extremely memorable to me because I had discussed repeatedly with the beings whether they would prove their existence, perhaps by winning the million dollar challenge (which is now closed, google it)...

So, what actually happened is I was sitting there holding the multimeter with it set to voltage reading, and it has a resolution of 2.000V to -2.000V. And the voltage was sitting there going up and down in front of my eyes, except the beings were telling me exactly what the voltage would change to. Eg they'd say .7 and it would cycle up to 0.7 volts, or any other number they suggested... they played this game with me for a minute or two

It's not tho

And so I was sitting there watching this multimeter changing its reading, and beings were saying to me exactly what the reading would be.... and they had it exactly, they knew what the reading would be to several decimal places. And that is after literally 6 years of schizophrenia, so it was a bit exciting to me... we live in a world where the experiences of a schizophrenic or contactee are taken so skeptically it's really futile to argue... but if these visitors would do what they were doing to the multimeter in front of me in front of a larger audience (strangers, or better yet, scientists) then we were basically looking at changing the fucking world.

They never repeated their trick with the multimeter, although we played around with the multimeter for months, and begged to them... but the guys who were doing the trick never came back.

I just mention it... haha, it must seem a bit insane... "I just mention it". I don't know if you can understand that I am a "contactee".... that is, someone who has been contacted by aliens... now... in your typical day to day world you can not believe a word I say. And I am a diagnosed schizophrenic. So you have any reason to dismiss anything I say. But.. I just mention it... regarding alien influences on us, because it shows a potentially important subtle influence that aliens could have on us, which is that if they can easily change the voltage reading on a multimeter by a few millivolts then perhaps they could influence genetic mutation and genetic splicing/recombination (processes that happen during the production of sperm/eggs and fertilisation)