So I have this illness that I know when people start thinking about someone and I kind of started controlling it and...

So I have this illness that I know when people start thinking about someone and I kind of started controlling it and eventually I can't speak normally because I constantly think that something reminds me of someone or that it exposes someone's ego. Yeah, that's about it. Exposing egos. Do you know what I mean?

Explain furthur

It's called schizophrenia but you will say it's not because you have schizophrenia.

Do you mean that you are afraid to speak, as doing so will boost somebody's ego? That's my problem

Schizophrenia

i know how you feel i fucking hate having to watch my tongue so i don't accidentally expose my ego

I just can't lie anymore lol.

No, I don't.

I can relate to that. I'm about 150 i guess. i've always been in the 99.9th percentile on every type of test, got a 36 on the act. i looked it up and that correlates to a 150. i still feel stupid though. i took an iq test at intelligentpeople.com and couldn't pass it. it was easy at first, but then there were these insane pattern recognitions. I usually get them even if they're tough, but these one were just ridiculous. I'm really good with math, logic, and patterns, among other things, so idk why i wouldn't even be able to get a fucking grasp on them. derp.

i do feel like i'm the smartest person ever when it comes to other things though. i have my own unified understanding of everything that beats anything western civilization has. it's pretty similar to eastern philosophy. i'm also never wrong. i think i'm just insanely good at critical thinking, so any argument i enter, i've already thought out absolutely every logical and semilogical possibility, and i can solve pretty much any problem. i can untie any knot, fix any relationship problem, i just see exactly what the problem is and how to fix it. most people just don't realize how much they assume, and it creates massive problems.

I just know what associations a certain word might cause. Also I sometimes manage to turn it off and interactions change a bit. It all depends on my feeling. If I can hold the anger and fear then it's ok. Problem is some people at work, especially one guy are picking on me in similar way. I mean, I'm nice in that way because I learned to move between those associations. I mean, you have to avoid some words and topic with some people. Also depends on the mood, you know.

people have been accusing me of that but FU, I thought I have it and then it was the worst. Now I don't believe it and it's ok but a fear is still there. FU. My doctor says I'm not, haha FU.

wow, that's probably the biggest boss post I've ever seen. Man, I have so many questions. Do you have skype? I can give you mine.

A psychiatrist didn't tell you you don't have schizophrenia. Go to a psychiatrist. Don't lie. Get a diagnosis. Get treatment. It will improve and your life will get easier and you will be happier.

Even if you're right then it won't help me since I don't experience hallucinations anyway. Stop fucking me up even more please!

Talk to a doctor. For real.

Do you even know what schizophrenia is?

See a doctor. You sound unwell.

Schizophrenia isn't just about audio-visual hallucinations. As a man tripping balls on acid, trust me, you should see a doctor dude.
>I feel like the smartest person ever
>Eastern Philosophies
>never wrong
>can win any argument
>fix all problems
Your ego is so inflated that you feel like you're always right and no matter what evidence is given to the contrary, your mind has created routes and backroutes for you to escape down to ensure that you still feel as though you were correct in some way. The fact you lack complex pattern recognition gives away a lot in terms of problem solving and crystallized thinking. You're half as smart as you think you are and twice as full of yourself as you tell. Sit down, shut up, and keep reading my man. I had to be tested for all sorts of shit in school, I've a generalized IQ of 164 but saying I can fix everything and am never wrong is just bullshit. If you speak it you don't know it, know it you don't speak it.

...

You sound just like my friend, he’s a schizo too. It’s sucks because you have a huge ego, but at the same time you are deathly afraid of not being special. Of course you’re the best at everything, of course the reason pick on you is because of how smart you are and you’re just not standing up for yourself because you would destroy them mentally without trying and you don’t want them to kill themselves (because they totally would after you blow their minds). Just, think about seeing a professional to talk about these feelings with, and just try to be open to the possibility that it could all be in your head.

I fucking talked to 6 doctors no one has seen any problem. I'm finally seeing one regularly now and it's helping me. She said I'm definitely on the right side.

hey, as long as you are honestly seeing someone, there’s no problem. maybe you are the smartest person ever. in that case, please don’t squander it.

squandering this ability is my favorite thing to do.

Nifty color chart you got there. You might not be full of shit.

what is your alignment?

fear, luck of trust, insecurity, massive anger and sexual frustration.

and the feeling of abandonment