ITT we are hostages

ITT we are hostages

That goes on with sausage

good thing i brought a slim jim to eat

And I'm your captor.

We are already hostages. The difference is we're not usually directly under the barrel of a gun.

Ples no kil.i suk u idk. No homo

please respect the dubs captor

OH FUCK WE'RE GONNA DIE I JUST SHAT MY PANTS AND THERE GOES MY BLADDER WHY ME PLEASE DON'T KILL ME I'M CUMMING THIS IS SO HOT PLEASE FUCK MY GF AND SHOW ME YOUR COCK LET'S COMPARE THEM WHILE WE LOOK AT CELEBS AND INSTAGRAM PICS WANNA SEE PICS OF MY GF I SHOULDN'T SHARE JUST DON'T KILL ME FUCKING NIGGERS I LOVE YOUR BIG BLACK COCKS WHILE I WEAR MY GF'S THIGH HIGHS, TAIL BUTTPLUG AND BUNNY EARS TELL ME MR. CAPTOR WOULD YOU FUCK ME MY IQ IS 164 I SWEAR AND A REFERENCE TO A CURRENT POLITICAL CONUNDRUM TRUMP AM I RIGHT?

CRUISE CONTROL disengaged

The code for the vault is 7360064. Also don't rape Jenna. She has herpes. How do I know? I know.....

you seem hangry, do you want some of my slim jim

Thank you, I'm a bit peckish I admit it.

you are welcome , i always carry slimjims on me. dont want us to die hungry

Can we use the slimjim as a way to escape?

be quiet guys i’m calling the police

Guys stab one of them with a slim jim and take their guns, I'll distract them with my chastity cage

Psssst mister hostage taker, tell me to fuck the blonde. Make it sound believable.

Oooh. Can I have the meat feast pizza plz.

What's that on your penis?

>Sup Forums summed up

they said they’re out of sausage

kek
oooo tell him i want some tendies to go with my slimjims

Ok I stabbed him

can I eat the slimjim now?

Hey I brought some Pringles, they're the pizza flavour

yeh i suspected as much
check my captive dubs

i have a bunch of them , heres a new one for you to eat since there is nigger blood on the other one

What the hell George, I don't have fucking herpies!

.....but I like nigger blood

you totally have herpes

we got slim jims and pizza pringles. who else is bringing food to the hostage party?

my apologies continue on then with eating your niggerjim

I'll suck your dick

Hey what's going on out here, I was rubbing one out in the janitors closet and I heard yelling about slim jims

How would you know anyways, asshole? Now I'll never find a fucking dick after this!

You might wanna take a test Jenna

Oh, Karl! We fucked a few months back, right? This asshole keeps telling everyone I have herpes!

we hostage now. but do you want a slim jim?

I've got a dick and you can't catch herpes twice
You keen?

Danny wears a chastity cage to work, can you believe it? Fucking weirdo. Anyways it's my turn in the closet, I'm gonna use your cum as lube.

THREE OF US ARE ARMED SECURITY GUARDS! YOU'LL HAVE TO SHOOT US ALL IF YOU WANT TO SAFELY GET AWAY WITH THE MONEY! FUCK YOU NIGGERS!! DUMB CUNTS!!

>convinces abductor to end my suffering

Nice one mate,
Now we know who to kill first

OH MY FUCKING GOD! What the hell is wrong with all of you cis white males?
*pulls out a gun and kills all three armed guards*
Now all of you disgusting men get the fuck down!

fuck slimjim sam replaced your ammo with slimjims

Calm down Jenna

nobody actually wants to fuck you

damn jenna, you hangry and need to eat a slimjim and stop eating cum.

Fuck you James! I'm a fucking beautiful strong woman! I'm not going to listen to you because ALL MEN ARE FUCKING LIARRSSSSS

at least I have chicken

I'm not james you dull cunt

IT'S THE JEWS!!!!!!!

Yeah Jenna we fucked.... you gave me herpes

Break me of a piece of that shit

Danny you fucking fag LOL yeah I spunked on the wall, there should be more than enough

christ jenna what the fuck happened? i was in the bathroo- why are there police outside?

i got a full slimjim for you sir. here you go

Are you saying I eat cum? Are you FUCKING serious right now are you FUCKING RAPING ME? I'm going to fucking tell the police when they get here that I had no choice using my AR15 because you're all FILTHY FUCKING RAPISTS

Jenna we all know you can fit an AR15 in that lose snatch of yours but you should really eat a slimjim and calm down

...

This is Detective Dubs,

Perhaps we can negotiate the release of these innocent people. Don't ruin your lives. Just give me a list of your demands. We want to do everything within our power to make sure nobody is hurt.

yo you got any left i went to the bathroom

EVERYBODY GET DOWN

PUT THE GUN DOWN

OH SHIT

Did I say detective dubs? I meant Chief Commissioner Trips.

nice

Shoot jenna she has a gun!

Shut up shut up shut up, all men are the FUCKING same anyways! GOD women are SO under appreciated! Herpes Jenna.... Loose gina Jenna. Dumb whore Jenna.... IM FUCKING TRIGGERRREDDDD


*Drops the AR15, pulls out a razorblade and starts furiously cutting

Dude you're a fucking god. That nut really wore me out so this will help a lot

...

Chief Commissioner Trips wr have identified one female suspect with an ar15

Should I take the shot?

Trips releases himself and fucks that blondie

Don't worry I got this.
神の風が私のストライクを導く
You never stood a chance.

ALL YO NIGGAZ BETTUR SHUT UP OR 'LSE I'L SMOKE YA

Gidday cunt I want a fucking tomato stat and maybe like two fids mate

Jenna we all came to a concensus that you gotta stop using Tumblr

Well well well, Commissioner Trips. I remember you from the Bank Job in Santa Fe. You couldn't meet my demands the last time I requested a big black stud to come fuck this that little tight white piece. How could I ever trust you to meet the demands I have this time?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHH AHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah here you go bro. i got slimjims for everybody
glad slimjim sam can help

BANG

ALL OF YOU MEN ARE FUCKING RAPISTS DO YOU HEAR ME?!!! IM LOSING my FUCKING BLOOD from cutting because you rapists wont stop RAPING me!!!

Hahaha they shot a nigger

I didn't want to meet those demands last time because that was my wife you son of a bitch.
Take the shot son

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BANG

thank fuck she's gone, now who are the real terrorists?

...

Wait a sec.. Slim Jim Sam, how'd you know to bring all these slim jims here today? Unless you're... the real terrorist..

Suomi?

i just always keep them on me incase of situations like this. that commercial with the bank robbery and the ppl going hungry scared me a bit

I think this is just a drill guys

...

>be me
>be nicolas cage
>be walking around
>wtf my bank is closed
>get in
>see a lot of hostages
>ohshit.jpeg
>activate nic powers
>suck the guys who made everyone their hostages
>they cum
>deliciousness.png
>go flying away in my pigmonkey

help us spidey

Lets do this niggers.

if dubs everyone remembers aleppo and is free

well, this didnt go as expected

im here to get a slimjim from slimjim sam

Out of the way, pussy. I have this.

Listen, boys... I can get us out of here. I have a blade hidden up my arse in case something like this pops up. Pull. Pull hard.