I may or may have not lost my virginity on Friday. Ask Me Anything. I'll provide a bit of background information.
>be me
>19 year old virgin from Alaska
>6.5/10
>I usually masterbate with eggs
>Made a thread a while back
>Anyway I went to a house party
>Get very drunk and a chick starts grinding on me
>7/10 girl
>holyshit.jpeg
>Continues like this for an hour
>ask her if she wants to go somewhere private
>Head back to her place
continue?
Im sorry, eggs? How does that work?
Well I crush up eggs and use them as lube. The yolk feels really good and the pricking of the shells feels amazing. I'd highly recommend it.
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I wouldn't consider myself to be a nigger, but it is very cost effective. I'm thinking of getting some chickens soon. I'm just worried about the cold and how they would survive.
Say what
I made a thread and included photos a while back. I'll try and find them for you guys if you want.
You... masturbate with chicken periods?
Post-haste OP
Cont
Haha, well I guess that is one way to look at it. But I do highly recommend it. I took an user's advice and used bread dough which was surprisingly nice. The same user used minced meat I think.
I will after I get the photos.
What kind of fetish is this? I’m interested.
I guess the one where you use alternative materials as sexy toys or aides.
Sorry guys the files are too big so I'll take screenshots of it then post.
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>back at her place
>make a b-line for fridge
>2 dozen lrg eggs
>thisgunnabegewd.jpg
>tell her to strip and stand against wall
>PELT her with chicky periods till shes coated in welts and goop
>titfuck her and leave her in a stinky solidifying mess
Hear the next day that her mom grounded her for ruining the carpet and forced her to eat whole bowl of eggs
As funny as that is user, that's not what happened.
I dont think you're ever likely to lose that v card eggfucker
No one else other that you guys knows about this. I don't think people would like me if they found out what I do with eggs.
So close to trips, but I am certain I can. I'll be sure to tell you guys when it happens.
Have some spagett with your eggs
Why thank you user. I'm not autistic though. I'm just a bit weird that's all.
Just....a....bit
I mean I'm fine with social situations. Everyone is a bit weird nowadays. I mean look at you. You're a faggot on Sup Forums.
> come back to Sup Forums after 3 years
goddammit wtf how did i ever leave
Sorry user, I'm a bit confused. 3/4's done with the story.
Umm ok, I'll continue the story.
>Get back to her place
>I go throw up in the toilet as I've had too much to drink
>wash my mouth out as I don't want her to be disgusted
>When I arrive in her room she is asleep in her double bed
>feelsbadman
>sleep next to her
>Jump to a couple hours later and I wake up
>I'm horny as fuck and I don't care if I get thrown in jail for rape
>stick a couple fingers inside her pussy
>she moans
>fuckyeah.gif
>start moving fingers in and out faster and faster
>she murmurs fuck me
>i take that as a green light and whip out my dick
>keep in mind that it is pitch black
>thrust only to hit skin
>feel around with my hands
it's lower than expected
>porn makes it look so easy
it gets worse don't worry