Just going Park, lads. Anyone fancy a kickabout?

Just going Park, lads. Anyone fancy a kickabout?

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yeah sure
*boots your ball into the stratosphere*
*runs away*

DON'T PLAY FOOTBALL UNDER MY WINDOWS YOU CHEEKY LITTLE BASTARDS

I hated fucks going for blooters when there are no fences.

nigs

Do kids still say nigs?

aye mate count me in

*hogs the ball*
*doesnt pass*

*puts the ball under my shirt*
I'm pregnant

fucking classic

>Tucks ball under shirt
>Runs into goal

This

kek

>one kid puts the ball under his shirt
>runs around saying he is pregnant
>someone punches him in the stomach, causing the ball to fall out of his shirt
>"OH GOD!!! MY BABY!!!"

...

it must be nice having friends to have a kickabout with

*turn up wearing my full real madrid kit, including shinpads and football boots*

hey guys can i play

No wonder Americans are so shit at sports, they would rather make infantile jokes than actually play

Don't worry user, you'll always have us

not my ball mate

>tfw doggo ate old ball while I was off at school

It was like losing a friend

>touch the ball
>it's flat and flaking

>"elo my nam ezz K'ngalasho....I say ezz call K'ngalasho...Jazz call me Kay"

Honestly, what was better than this, just boys being boys

>*runs back in the house and locks the door*

*threatens to take the ball home if I don't get to play as striker*

wanna play mate?

youre in net.

I hated this shit.

DELET

*I'm Alan shearer*

>that lady who lived across the street from the basketball court who would loose her dogs on you if you cursed to much

Are you black?

youtube.com/watch?v=_9nDHupVqVw

sure, pass the ball

*tries to do some fancy stuff and fails horribly*

leave us alone, shanta ronaldo

"sure"
*stomps ur ankle*

*dives in the grass*

Sure but I get to be Ronaldo

TSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

*blasts the ball into the street where it immediately gets run over by some douche in a pickup*

pass the ball user!

>completely fucks up his control e-ve-ry-ti-me

No but she was

What language is this?

Ok guys, lets play shirts vs no shirts

Hey user, take off your shirt

*scores a simple tap in*

WATCH THIS!
*ball goes into a tree*
Damn....

Is fun Sup Forums back tonight? I haven't laughed this hard in a while

until les jannièux decide we're not being general enough

>blasts ball into a tall AF tree.

Quick, find some rocks.

This one time we were playing football and an old bloke was walking his dog nearby, when the dog cocked it's leg over one of the jumper "goalposts".

The jumper belonged to a ginger kid, so we just watched. Then we pointed and laughed when he picked it up.

Simpler times.

>play into the night
>go inside for a minute
>come back out and realise how dark it's gotten

CAR CAR CAR

*game suspended for 10 seconds*

Nigs aren't allowed to play here. Only immigrant Africans or Caribbeans

>Just going Park, lads
Is this a typo?

>Stepoverfag who refuses to play defense

*is resident fat kid*
Hey lads, I don't wanna play keeper time can I play another position?

>hey guys let's line up and choose sides
>not so fast user

some kid invites an older brother or older neighbor who destroys everyone.

some kid arguing about fucking fouls

>wanna play
>"sure i'll be a defender"
>just stand next to the goal speaking with my gk friend and making runs occasionally

what's the most fun position and why is it attacking midfield?

>going for a beer with the lads after the game and one of the random full kit wankers on the team comes with

>pass the ball to the Mexican kid
>he tries to dribble through 8 players and never passes the ball back

fucking faggot

best feel right here, i would usually make great friendships with the keepers of my class just for chatting and working together and coordinating every recess

You never even won a super bowl nigel

>Playing an all white vs all black team.

Why does everyone hate on the guys in full kit?

>kit
Kys yourself

>just going park

What does that even fucking mean?

>be defender
>just run into strikers like an asshole and boot the ball away
>super nice and always apologized so nobody hates me
best position desu

>ywn play back alley calcio with your neighborhood mates again

LAST TRY WINS

We did this too, with football. Always little bastards who were losing

peak comedy

>step overs, roulettes in defense
good fun times

>fat one is he goalie
I feel great for being forever spooky

I brought the ball so penalty for my team

>tfw you BTFO multiple starters on the school team during your p.e. class outside

feels good lads.
even managed to make one of the captains so salty he tried to foul the shit out of me everytime we played after that.

Paaark, park wherever you maybe be, you eat dogs in your home country, could be worse, could be scouse, eating rats in your council house

youtube.com/watch?v=SiFF1ofOC94

nah i'm good

>river ~20 m behind the field
>goal had no net
>no fence
>still shoot as hard as you can

We spend more time getting our balls out of the river than actually playing football. Good times though...

Fuck this was the peak of primary school humour.

>not also pretending the small cones were boobs

*boots the ball under a parked car*

>three corners = penalty

>500
>Dead or alive!

>pace out goals
>put jumpers down
>yell at other kid about width of his goals
>sneak jumper in a metre when everyone is looking at his jumpers

This is how people in South Yorkshire speak

kek

>Through on goal for hat trick
>Keeper comes out
>Attempt to lob him
>A rush of blood means I powerfully scoop the ball miles up and over the goal
>It's heading for the walkway
>There's a young mother walking her baby in a pram
>Ball dropping right in line to drop straight into the pram
>Slow motion shout of "HEADS"
>She moves it just in time and it bounces off the rim of the pram
>Longest four seconds of my life

>that kid the goalpost fell on

grim

>That guy who would always bring a Rugby ball and try to get people to do passing drills

>playing footie next to school dorms with one of those undersized Nike balls
>one kid that's shit at ball control absolutely bloots it towards the dorms
>out of ~50 empty balconies it goes towards the one with a cleaning lady on it
>bounces off the balcony roof and straight into her head
>her head moves faster than her hair, I'm reminded of a 80s hair band rocker shaking his head back and forth
>for a few seconds truly think we killed her
>turns out she's fine but super mad

good times

It's how northern english people would say 'just going to the park'

Did everyone use the concept of "rush goalkeeper", where the goalie would run out and play outfield and then run back whenever the other team was attacking?

Similarly, we used the rule of "fog man back" (or "last man back") where the closest player to your own goal, whomever that may be, is allowed to be the goalkeeper and handle the ball.

Also our park was right next to the local pizza place run by Turkish immigrants. Half time=pizza time.

We used that sometimes, although most of the time we had a designated goalie.

>undersized Nike balls
metallic blue was patrician

>winning 10-0
>"next goal wins"

can anyone tell the difference because you are fat anyway?

full kit wanker

This
The numbers were never quite even at our school so we used to make the gingers go on the non-whites team

>just going Park

is this proper grammar? UK ways elude me

OI
*points at sign*

Considering the state of Amerilardias educational system I highly doubt he even knew that men can't get pregnant.

*scribbles over 'NO' with Sharpie*

We did that. Used to call him the flying goalie.