Do you guys sit or stand when you wipe your ass? Asking for a friend

Do you guys sit or stand when you wipe your ass? Asking for a friend

That's my secret OP, I never wipe.

Stupid ass question, severely autistic that you even need to ask.

Do you spread your ass and wipe or do you mash the shit together between your cheeks and get shit everywhere? GEE I wonder.

standing up, why?

Neatly fold tp over itself twice and wipe sitting down.

Found the guy with an itchy poopy butthole

Lean forward. Wipe from front to back a few times. Wipe from back to beginning of taint a few times. Repeat process until no streaks are found on tp.

Explain yourself nigger.

I agree with this guy, poopy buttholenigger

Last wipe is with wet tp to clean the butt hole.

Stand up.

If your ass cheeks are smeared in shit, you are doing it wrong.

I jump in the air

Nobody has yet to explain why the fuck you would stand up versus sit down. All I can see happening when you stand up is your asshole/butt cheeks would not be as stretched out and therefore would be harder to clean.

I get my dog to lick it clean

I lean over while sitting on the shitter while my ass is in the air and wipe.

thats less retarded than standing up atleast

I grew up in a house where the TP roll was behind you as you sat, unless you collected your TP before shitting, it required standing up.
How do you guys know when to stop wiping? By feel?

I use a bidet and wash + dry my ass. Fuck you disgusting savages with shit and toilet paper hanging from your ass hairs.

I stopped wiping the when the paper looks like the flag of Japan

Ah but how do you know what the paper looks like? Do you mean to tell me that you stick your hand with the paper in it all the way into the toilet bowl, wipe, and then bring it back out to inspect it?

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lmfao I really hope you're trolling right now. Who doesn't inspect the paper after they wipe? How else would you know when to stop. Just guess? lol.

That's what I'm saying, if you're sitting down, how the fuck do you inspect the paper?

stand master race here until my body got so degenerately injured and fucked up i now just sit, sometimes i sit for a piss if im feeling particuarly fucked

420blazeitasmedicine

10/10

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So you bring the paper back up out of the toilet bowl where you had to stick your hand to wipe, back in front of your face to inspect it.
Seems like just standing up and inspecting it on the way from ass to toilet is a more efficient method desu

aw man I love that you're genuinely confused this is gas. I'm picturing you getting stuck

The majority is done sitting, then I stand to get any remainder.

Your logic completely perplexes me. How would you see the tp on the way from ass to toilet? You wouldn't unless you made an effort too.

Also I'm not an animal and fold my tp. So after every wipe I bring it out to fold it anyways, (where I can inspect it), until too small to fold anymore.

This may be too advanced for you but you shift your ass.

You shift your ass to wipe, I got that

So you fold your TP and use the same TP to wipe again? That sounds absolutely disgusting.

Why would you stand fucko? That just smioshes your ass cheeks together and smioshes the shit. Fuck off turd hurdker

Everybody folds unless they're a fuckin moron. What do you go through, a roll a day or something?

I dont fold, never have never will. Its fuckig tp nigga

Well it's not if you do it right. Most of my shits only need minimal wiping anyways, it's not like I'm wiping up a bunch of liquid.

When you fold, you just gotta use a certain side every time and fold it right and your hands will never get shit on them. If you fold right then the shit covered side will always be on the inside, never exposed to your fingers.

A couple wipes for most, then stand to get a deeper clean. Also depends on how close my dong is to the inside of the toilet bowl.

folding with a ball will produce inconsistent results. And is very wasteful. Most people stop balling up tp once they grow out of the little kid stage.

Not that guy, but I have never folded tp for re-use, have never balled up TP for wiping use (that I can remember anyway). All shitposting about sit vs stand aside, I am new to the idea of multi-use toilet paper squares.

And that shit cost fuckin money, nigga. Get 4-5 squares, fold once for structural integrity, then begin wiping. Fold in half after each wipe for and you get 3-4 wipes per paper strand

i sit most of the time cus if i wash my hands without sitting people here go like "why did you wash your hands you didnt have to"

it's quite probable that you're fat.
i have plenty of space to bring up the tp from behind and drop it between my legs after inspection.