You wake up one day as Joseph Goebbels at the height of Nazi Germany

You wake up one day as Joseph Goebbels at the height of Nazi Germany.

What is the first thing you do?

jerk off

"Finish off the Eternal Anglo while you still can Adolf"

Eat breakfast then do some rad cult shit before hitting up that pool party with the big H.

Flee the country. It's doomed

Shut their filthy lying mouths of course.

Kill Hitler so he doesn't single-handedly fuck up Germany's military strategy and let the generals do their fucking jobs.

get german pussi

try and overthrow Hitler and end the horrible racist regime

>Führer, I think you should wait on this Russian invasion for a while

Rape my hot as fuck Aryan daughters, since they'll die young anyways.

continue redpilling

...

Do a barrel roll.

a barrel roll.

If I had to come up with something right now - a barrel roll.

Thanks for your insight.

Kill some fucking Jews

>generals dindu nuffin Rommel a gud boi, bout to turn his life around and take the Suez n shit

Enigma. Enigma is being decoded. Yet i doubt it would save them.

>We need ejaculation machines in the camps, Adolf.

You'll poo on them first eh Pajeet?

If I was him, I'd start some propaganda focusing on USA and UK, specifically around the 'master race' fallacies and how life was in the camps.

It seems they completely missed this side of the subversion world.

Tell Hitler that I'm actually a communist spy.
No, wait, it's just a prank bro just a prank

Jew in the loo

who's that guy on the top row? was it considered normal back then to have a tall aryan guy as your family's personal bull?

Dont invade russia

Make informational films about the good conditions inside the concentration camps, complete with full walk through of share facilities and interviews with the prisoners, so there could be no doubt of poor treatment of people.

He was their master fucker, who routinely stuck his wee wee in all the little boys and girls bottoms.

>Be Goebbels
>Wake up
>WTF.gif
>Take Piece of Paper and a pencil
>"??/??/?????..."
Zyankalie scheint nicht tödlich zu sein, frage mich ob Marta und die Kinder auch schon wach sind. Schade dass der Führer in diesem Moment nicht auf mich gehört hat, töricht sich zu erschießen, hat doch schon der gute Doktor gemeint. Hoffen wir, dass Zyklon B nicht den selben Effekt hat.
J. Goebbels

Video tape the concentration camps and hide it some where so I can later prove that the holocost was a hoax!

First, best.

He was his wife's son.

Use my knowledge of ebin memes to win the propaganda war

>What is the first thing you do?
Release an official, approved and public statement saying that the NSDAP has never, will never and does not want to exterminate the Jews.

Enigma is more important than you think, cutting of the delivery of goods to Great Brittain would be very good.
I'd also recommend him to not bomb londen, and keep british civilians more safe. Looking more honorable would allow for the british to surrender on very good terms (get to keep the colonies, exchange war prisoners, full military access trough their colonies required).
Then push for russia.
Also, on my own, with my knowledge help build atomic bomb, and computers.

convince hitler that jewish scientists are useful and should be given immunity.

I'd increase funding on our Nuclear program. Bomb Britain back to the stone age and order my men to actually start killing Jews.

If things go according to plan we'd have nuked Washington by 44.

tell hitler to build nukes and never trust italy again

They were already working on nuclear research. Telling them that is useless.

It wasn't for nukes

Reverse engineer basic computing systems from the 1960s, combined with the advances in space technology of German scientists.

Bam. Ballistic missiles, and orbital radar. Threaten the USSR and the US, ally with the ones who comply and destroy the rest.

Change the communication systems
Dont attack cccp while fighing on the west
Destroy maltan islands
Dont cancel operation sealion
Increase research in nuclear weapons
Dont enter stalingrad, just surround it
Nuke stalingrad, washington and launch couple of SRB missles at london.

I literally have the knowledge in my head to bring Germany to the current century

Someone who knows WWII history really well - what's the actual response? what could you do to have nazi germany win the war? obviously if you could go back in time as yourself you could just bring a slew of books on WWII so they could read them, but if you were just stuck with relaying from memory, what would you say?

Don't attack Russia obviously.

Why would you want a war if you want Nazi Germany to succeed?

The goal should be to avoid the war. Europe doesn't lose millions of lives, the global colonial empires are not swept away in the aftermath, communism doesn't sweep the continent.

I'd just tell Hitler to fucking cool it about Danzig. Yes, yes, Germans being oppressed in Poland, blah blah. Who fucking cares? If Germany just waited and calmed the fuck down after eating 2 entire countries, eventually Danzig probably would have peacefully gone back to Germany in some sort of mutually beneficial agreement with Poland.

No war, Europe remains strong.

I'd bring basic computing and programming blueprints from the 50s to 70s I already memorized years ago and let their space research scientists do the rest.

In my opinion, Britain should be spared and annexed. They could crack Enigma, so they had some able "would be" programmers.

Bring the war to the orbital level against the remaining powers.

>wake up
>panic because I can't speak German
Fuck

Gobble down some German sausages. Mmhh.

This

Wife's son. He couldn't be present for the photo so he was manually shooped in (srs)

>wanting a war in the first place

The only power that had anything to gain from a major war in Europe was the bolshevik jews, so I wonder who was behind this post?

>implying

>watch Germany get absolutely destroyed
Kike pls go.

>Hitler was a bad strategist epic maymay

Without Hitler there would be no blitzkrieg

Hug the Fuhrer and tell him I have no regrets

Don't attack Russia or if Hitler still did, convince him to follow his generals origanal plan of sweeping through the caucus oil fields before going after Moscow. Also make sure to have better supply lines when invading Russia.


Also don't declare war on the US after Pearl Harbor.

I'd wiggle my finger around all day.

...

Ya mon

>tfw Goebbels and Hitler were both literally Sup Forums incarnate

tell him to start the widescale production of mkb42 when it is available
dont wait until 1944

I'd immediately convince Hitler to give all nevessary funding to the nuclear program, accept the STG-44 plans that he didn't like earlier, and warn him that a more powerful engine is needed for the Tiger tanks.
I'd convince Himmler to put a lot more preparations for a nazi underground/insurgency, so if things turned out more or less the same as in this universe the West would still have a chance.

Urge Hitler to send spy teams to execute the Rothschild family down to the last child. Also attack the rockefellers. I'd also work to exposing the growing jewish scientific lobby, and I'd warn Hitler to execute Einstein, Oppenheimer and other American scientists to ensure they don't develop the atom bomb before Germany.

>Tell Japan to attack Russia instead of the USA
After Pearl Harbor everything went down hill, first the US enters the war, then Russia sends most of their troops to the west front and they get fucked in the invasion.

>Tell Hitler to send in Spies to kill Roosevelt and make it seem like commies were involved
>Double the encryption of the Engima Code
>Tell the useless japs to focus on Mother Russia
>Tell Mussolini to get off his fat ass and become more productive

>Tell Hitler to quickly find and execute Einstein; to win the war one must crack the atom
>Insist that he takes his general's advice
>Insist that he Blitzes the shit out of Moscow, apparently Stalin refused to leave it.

I don't know much about WW2; that's all I could really think of.

Start actually gassing Jews. If were going to get blamed for it either way we may as well have some fun.

/thread

>Assassinate Hitler
>Arrange a coup d'état
>Argue for a status quo ante bellum peace with the Allies

Medium rare

Convert to Judaism

Have Hitler's quack doctor killed.
Get him a real doctor and try to fix the shambles of a man his doctor made him into.

weak bait/10

Elaborate.

good goy

Giving the Fuhrer meth was a bad fucking idea.

>

>Tell Mussolini to get off his fat ass and become more productive

YES this one. Mussolini didn't do shit, he could've massively industrialized the Italian military and captured Greece and Turkey which would increase Italian morale to fight back against the Allies and keep the Axis in much longer.

>Tell Hitler to quickly find and execute Einstein; to win the war one must crack the atom

Einstein wasn't in the Manhattan Project, but his earlier findings independently were used. You would have to execute Oppenheimer or some shit.

>Insist that he takes his general's advice

Yep. Hitler was totally incompetent by the time he invaded Russia.

>Insist that he Blitzes the shit out of Moscow, apparently Stalin refused to leave it.

Maybe. But the Russian people were pretty resilient and wouldn't give up that easily.

He looks like a finkelstein.

Check my repeating digits.

Brush my teeth

Assassinate Hitler and make a secret deal with the Western Front uniting to shit all over Stalin

Suck Hitler's dick.

that image is fucking retarded. but your flag explains it all

Go to Auschwitz and put my dick in Jew babes

I'll check his dubs, too.

Stop the invasion of Poland and convince Hitler that his he only need invade Austria and the Netherlands to unite the Germanic peoples.

They just loaded him up on amphetamines, not all amphetamines are meth you faggot

Also seige Palestine and create a Jewish state as a alternative solution to the Jewish Question. After takeover of Austria and the Netherlands, increase relationships with all neighbours and tone down racial tensions, but peacefully and surely deport all none-Nordics to their respective homelands.

>Invade russia is the top tier misstake
>russian soldiers were persitent
TOP KEK, Stalin was going to attack germany in 28 days. Hitler were almost in moscva when it the war turned. Stalin made it so if someone in the russian army stepped back they would get shot by the russian battalion that shot anyone who tried to back away

Probably the Germans who built an entire fucking economy around rearmament and objectively couldn't have sustained shit if they didn't attack when they did.

Make lots and lots of memos about our plans to deport Jews to Israel/Madagascar. Make more memos about the issues of typhus and starvation in case war interrupted supply lines to camps. Convince the fuhrer that we CAN NOT allow our soldiers to be encircled at Stalingrad.

And send a nice card + keg of bier to Rommel.

That would be stressful. I imagine if I got in knowledge and experience I would then be able to do his job, which would be what I would do. But I also imagine that OP the wizard wouldn't allow me to retain my 20/20 foresight and to know that we will end up killing ourselves. Fuck though if it were just me I wouldn't be able to do his job, I would try to explain the situation to Adolf and tell him to get a new propaganda minister.

>yeah, fuck the millions of Germans in what used to be in Prussia and are now getting ethnically cleansed in Polad.

escape europe lol. Nothing against natsoc germany, but they were doomed.

>wanting Nazi Germany win

Oh wait, nevermind
You're /onlyknowaboutWWIIandthethirdReichfromHShistorycore/

OH

And Japan can't fuck with America, make them deal with their oil problems, it won't get any better when they're spending their limited resources fighting the Yanks, so attacking them is a lose/lose

Keep America out of the war and we have a fighting chance, of course this means there will be another pretext developed to bring America in.

best post

vidya is degenerate desu