I've been invited to a party next month and I really don't want to go but I can't think of a good excuse. My friends will be butthurt if I don't turn up.
I was considering deliberately shitting myself/puking over myself so I have a reason to go home but I'd rather not use that idea unless it was absolutely necessary for obvious reasons.
Give me your best excuses Sup Forums.....
Why don't you want to go to the party, nigger?
You can't because you got a date on Tinder
"next month" damn you really are a lost cause if you plan you laziness a month ahead.
How old are you? If you don't to go, do something else. God I hate you whiny bitches.
Quit making excuses, OP. Be direct. Say, "I'd rather sit at home on /b and masturbate."
Why don't you go there and just try to enjoy being with your friends? they obviously want you there. You don't have to put pressure into being liked/talking to everyone else.
Just drink some brew and chill with the homies
stay with your parents because last thing you want is to get a phone call from someone saying your mom is dead
and how do you pay her back? by getting high and drunk?
life is a precious gift bro
do something that will send you to jail....its a great excuse, >HEY dudes can't go because I'm in jail
If you're not man enough to just say that you don't want to go, then maybe going to a party and actually socializing for once can do you some good.
So get blind drunk, THEN shit myself?
I always say I have to ask my girlfriend. Then I don't ask her and say she said no.
Or you could just go and do your best to have a good time.
why you don't want to go? You don't like your friends or you don't like parties?
>I have to ask my girlfriend
who the fuck ask his girlfriend for a permission to go to the fucking party?
>>I was considering deliberately shitting myself/puking over myself so I have a reason to go home but I'd rather not use that idea unless it was absolutely necessary for obvious reasons
Wow, that's your Plan A?
For once it's a good idea go ask Sup Forums for advice...
Be honest with your mates scum fuck.
Thing is, any excuse you make is a pathological reflection of what they already know about you. You wont surprise them with whatever you come up with, so you might as well go to combat this image they may have of you. Take whatever drug to help you have a good time. Don't try to hard. Dont be an alt-right kid. Have a good time.
>I always say I have to ask my girlfriend.
You actually think that makes you KEEP your friends?
Jesus Christ.
>I'm an asocial fuck and don't want to go to the party
It really isn't harder than that.
How about "I don't feel like going, maybe next time".
Too much of a pussy just to say 'no thanks'
I take that back. If it's a birthday party for one of your friends?
Then you'll need a legit excuse. On the other hand you should probably fight through it and go.
>sit at home on /b and masturbate
the accuarcy
This. Except maybe not the drug part.
At this point it is more effort not to go. Stop being a fag.
Well you can do it one of three ways.
Be honest and say you don't feel it. If your friends are true homies. Well then they may convince you in good terms or accept it. But since you said they will be butthurt, and just take the heat.
Second option is just don't show up. Trying to make an excuse something happened at last minute saying something came up. That blow back could be worse.
Third, depending on what you do or traits your finds know about you. Make a fake "appointment" at last minute, and say it's super important with no other days available. That might be tricky. Also, seeing how this party 's planned a month in advance. Look on the bright side. You have enough time to come up with your own if youre that desperate on not going. Or maybe you might change your mind.
Personally I would man up and just tell them thanks, but no thanks maybe next time or some shit. Good luck.
OP, are you even in this thread anymore? I'm not seeing any responses.
I am but all the responses are to just go and there's not much I can say to that.
Well, people are asking why you want to stay away so bad. You should answer that. It may provide clues on how to help you.
Also, a question: Do they know how much you want to miss this party? If they know, that could make it more challenging.
It's a joke. She doesn't ever give a shit and all my friends ever do is say they think she's hot so they understand.
It's pretty much a wedding reception thing and I wasn't invited to the actual wedding so I don't want to go.
That changes things..
No need for excuse, just say that.
...
Well now that we have an answer. You get invited too the reception but not the actual wedding? What the fuck is that. Yeah, this makes it a lot easier. All you have too say is there is no need to go, I'm not even invited too the wedding.
Fuck, if I was in your situation I would say something along the lines of. That if anyone has an issues I would ignore them because what's the fucking point? I got better shit to do rather be invited to a party, then not the actual wedding lmao.
I feel for you. Wedding receptions can be deadly dull.
A week or two before the party, mention that you're sick but you should be fine by the time the party happens, and then say you're still fucked a few days before the party.
Or just go, fucking retard
Okay first things first user is actually assess WHY you don't want to go. Is it anxiety? Do you just not like alcohol and therefore can't be fucked to deal with drunk people? Another reason?
Once you've assessed that, figure out how to deal with it. As for the now, tell your friends that you don't really like parties for the reason above but say you'll definitely do something with them before/after because you enjoy spending time with them. This will make them less butthurt about it because they'll then understand that its not them that are the problem. People are narcissistic assholes so you have to phrase things in a way that makes things like this your problem but not impacting them.
Im such a piece of shit i didnt go to one of my best friend's daughter's first birthday. I have ridiculous social anxiety and it was for only close friends and his and his girl's family. It fucking sucks but I've pretty much just accepted that i will gradually push everyone away until i am completely alone. I'm getting closer to 30 and i only have 2 people i talk to on a regular basis. I see my parents (separately) once or twice a month because they start to worry if they don't hear from me. I'm not suicidal like i used to be, I've actually warmed up considerably to dying alone...
I guess my point is go to the party if you think you can. If it sucks, leave early. At least you cared enough to show. I can't even force myself out of the house some days.
fuck you, man, i wish i had friends to ignore.
keep it up and soon you'll be a pathetic friendless shut in like me.
drive 300 miles away from the party the day before and tell them your car broke down
they won't offer to come pick you up because it's so far away
drive home the next morning
you might not even have to actually leave your house. just tell them you are really far away. unless they're weird fucks who will come drive by your house to see if you're actually gone
Just get so drunk the night before that your buddy's see your to hung over to go out that night. Duh
>drive 300 miles away
This isn't the worst idea, but it might be hard to come up with a reason for why you're at that place that's 300 miles away.
The first thing they'll ask you is "What were you doing there?!" Then you'll have to come up with that story. On the other hand, if it's a good story, they'll definitely forgive you for not coming, since you're stuck so far away.
just see how much fucking weed you can inject into your nutsuck, should make it go by swellingly enough dat way
tried and tested this shit for like half a decade
that's funny, OP because me and several of my friends invited a total loser to our party next month for the sheer purpose of making fun of him. Yes, its cruel, but its funny.
Make your choice.
this
some people have by social convention obligations to attend these shitfests.. friends, family friends, sig others friends etc
i like the shitting yourself plan. not only will that give you an excuse to go home, no one will ask you again.
Don't go with the shitting yourself plan. That will be uncomfortable driving home, and you'll never get the smell out of your car seat.
Puking all over might be a good option.
Then again, if you're able to even show up, just make sure you're seen by all your friends and then tell someone you don't feel well and duck out. They'll appreciate that you made the effort to make it there.
Say you have diarrhea. They won't ask you for proof.
Good call.
Phone one of your friends from a restroom so you get the acoustics right. Say "I'm calling you from the toilet right now. I'm not moving from here any time soon."
You'll be off the hook for sure.
See, OP? You weren't far off with your idea of a shit-related solution!
Tell them you have a few AndyShits threads scheduled to post on the day of the party.
Yeah but then he won't be invited to any future parties
Tell him you woke up dead and can’t attend
No offence buddy but wedding party’s are shit. The bride and groom don’t have a fucking clue what’s going on anyway. I’d be surprised if they remember half of the people who attended. If you think you’ll just sit there and feel awkward/have no one to talk to then don’t go. At the end of the day you do what makes YOU happy. That’s what I’d do but I’m selfish like that
tell them you suddenly found out you're gay and got the urge to go suck on a dick, they will believe you, they probably already think you're gay.
Just don't go. Let 'em get butthurt.
make something up like "Friend of a family friend needed a ride home, gave me $200 and bought me dinner in exchange for a ride"
but he cant have fun without drugs. so...
Tell them you were on your way but got lost in the middle of nowhere. Then you got nervous so ended up shitting yourself and then you couldn’t stop crying. So you took your pants off and abandoned the car. You got home by hitchhiking and deepthroating 15 truckers on the way.
Tosh?
With no pants on. Make sure to put that in there. That you got home by hitchhiking with no pants on and deepthroating 15 truckers on the way.
You should probably add that it was only a few trucks but each one had a lot of truckers in it. That will be more believable than you getting rides in 15 different trucks.
If you don't want to go - don't go.
>if you "friends" mock your decision - they are not real friends.
Don't make excuses - for them - to them - to yourself.
> If you don't want to go - don't go
'i met a girl online and visited her'
I disagree with this "they're not real friends" argument.
Some of us aren't lucky enough to have what you might call "real friends". We have to make do with ones that might well be flaky enough to be dicks about not showing up to a party. Not everyone has a high enough volume of people passing through their life that they can pick and choose who they'll be friends with.
I'm like that. I have maybe two good friends in real life, and a bunch of acquaintances who aren't really friends but who are friendly enough to me (coworkers and whatnot). I also have a few pretty good friends online, but that's about it.
Some of us are grateful to have any kind of friends, even if those people only barely tolerate us being around, like they're doing us a favor for spending time with us. If that's the case, we don't want to wreck the relationship by seeming ungrateful for their friendship.
Or if they really push you on the 15 trucks then tell them it’s because you’re an absolute savage deepthroater and made the truckers ejeculate in t- 15 seconds. So you got passed around the parking lot like a rag doll. It got so intense in one of the trucks that they had to get the sheets off with a toffee hammer
>they had to get the sheets off with a toffee hammer
You need to work on your self esteem.
I do, but that's a separate issue. I'm just saying that we're not all lucky enough to be able to pick and choose our friends.
Just say you don't want to go and no hard feelings...
Kek