Anyone else here self harm? If so tell us why, how often or whatever you want to share

Anyone else here self harm? If so tell us why, how often or whatever you want to share.
Everythings ok here user

>pic unrelated cause i have fuck all in my pic folder

i used to, but now i want to harm others. i channel my aggression through cooking but the meat is just taking forever to thaw. fuck

I let blood for LUCIFER with good results.

do you actually believe or are you just larping

Thats kinda edgy, whats got you so up and about?

i'm pissed because i don't know if i should socialize with normies and try to be one even though i resent them or just be my autistic self

and my friends might call me up but i'm too upset to talk but i don't wanna be a bitch and people get too attached to me

With everyone i know im just my autistic self and if i dont like someone i tell them to fuck off, which is great because people dont expect this level of honesty and they lesve you alone

Europa, please seek help

europe also needs help

thank you, i also want to be more honest with myself. which may be hypocritical if i say i wanna be a normie, but really all i want is to fit in somewhere.

but then again i wanna be alone so i could seethe

kekd

Why not do both, im by no means a norme but i do hang out with them, some weirdo friends and im often by myself, its a great dynamic since i can do whatever i want due to my brutal honesty.
Know what i mean by that?

yeah i can, i want that dynamic too... but how do i tell my friends i need space? sometimes i can't even call because it's so hard to speak

Be honest, tell them you need a little space and youll be back soon, if you cant say that just tell them youll be busy for a sec

okay thank you so much

I just bottle shit up, internalize it and implode. Then I can't speak for days.

Yeaj no problem man, just be you

Well tell me about that, sounds interesting

It's horrible

Well what triggers all of it

So imagine a circuit board. It has an input and an output. It used to work fine, but when it was beaten into me as a child to stop showing emotions and crying, it changed. Instead of the output letting charge go and functioning normally, it just loops back into the circuit. Any time i'm mildly annoyed, another loopback happens, and just adds to the pressure. I literally cannot cry, or deal with such things in a healthy way.

Then the circuit dies and loses power. That circuit is my brain. Even the act of holding a conversation is draining, and since the circuit is already overwhelmed, it becomes non responsive for hours, days, or weeks.

A psychologist is trying to fix me with CBT, but it is painful and is taking a long, long time, especially because most of the time I am non responsive.

That sucks to hear user, how do you cope?

I sleep a lot or just sit and stare out the window.

Frequently but only if you count "bad" food, cigarettes and alcohol. I do it because of the high amount of stress.