Last time on Star Trek Deep Space 9

Last time on Star Trek Deep Space 9...

THERE'S ARE RIVERS OF SHIT ERUPTING OUT OF ALL THE HOLODECKS!

So basically three rivers of shit descending into Quark's like a tacky hotel fountain? Was Reginald Barkley allowed shore leave on DS9?

OI'LL GIT THE FECKER
*CRUNCH*

doɴt ꜱtᴀRt ꜱmᴀMMpoꜱtJɴG otHeRwJꜱe eveRʏoɴe wJMM

>We take The Captain's Yacht, we rendezvous with The Enterprise, we go in, take care of O'Brien - "Hand over the Azn, Potatoboy" - then we grab Keiko, we go over to Ten Forward, hole up, have a cup of synthale and wait for this whole thing to blow over.

The NX-01 comes from the future with Captain Jonathan Archer alone and rams the station.

Fin.

Computer, transport all contents of waste extraction to the holodecks. Once full to capacity open the doors to create a flow of multi-species excrement reminiscent of the blood elevator scene depicted in the ancient earth motion picture 'The Shining'.
>Acknowledged
Disengage safety protocols.

Obrien: Sir, I can't stop the Klingon attack
Sisko: Chief, just keep on projecting your despair and agony onto them and they will turn away. Trust me.

And now the continuation...

Worf misses a joke...

O'Brien bangs his head...

And Sisko destroys a space colony...

You are watching...

Deep. Space. Nine.

>FOOKIN SPOONHEADS GIT OFF ME FOOKIN STATION! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

if only barclay discovered Sup Forums and the ways of being smug, he'd make the normie scum pay

Sisko: Chief. Get those shields operational!

>Miiiiles! Have you seen my Albedbron Teleporting Cactus?

O'Brien had a hard life.

*chuckle*

...

Sisko: Chief. Why aren't these replicators fixed?!

Chief, there seems to be a problem with the turbolifts. I need you to get on that.

>2371
>still needing a raktajino to get through your day without punching a hole in the space-time continuum

>Data to The Chief, there seems to be something wrong with my pot, it keeps boiling even when I watch it, pls send help k

Chief. There appears to be a problem in ore-processing. Get on it man!

Chief, transporters are still offline, how are those repairs coming?

>Odo to Chief O'Brien, my request to deport the Klingons has been approved, please prepare for 3,000,000 transports.

CCHHHIIIEEEFFFF!!!

Chief, Get your ass to mars

>kira will never shove her feet down your throat

Chief, my replicator is on the fritz again, and Rom isn't on the station. I need you to get it working again or else my business is ruined!

Chief see if you can disrupt the JemHadar's weapons and cloaking ability. I want to push an attack within the hour.

Remember when they had that half klingon ambassador traveling at high warp in a torpedo?

Now why in the fuck couldn't they just weaponize that? From most of what I've learned a projectile travelling at warp is almost an I win button.

Chief I heard you could use some company!

Weaponised Klingon boarding parties?

he's such a nice guy, that cunt jadzia shouldn't have cucked him like that

Chief, there's a problem continuum the with time space. Ingcomit's your from quarters. In there you I need to go dna xif nosediag atondcnafyiuo. You have to sexually satisfy your wife.

ALL OF YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACES

REEEEEEEEEEEEE

Nana is a goddess

That was a very ugly thing you said just now!

>franchise is called star trek
>the name implies trekking through the stars
>DS9 is about a static space station

All things considered, they still explore, they still Trek through the Stars.

No one suffered like Miles

It only appears static because the movements it's making are imperceptible to humans, like everything

This shoop never fails to make me kek.

>implying DS9 doesn't move
They move the station several astronomical units in the first episode alone.

shoulda called it Star Sit

kek

There's a war that takes 3 seasons to finish. Should have called it Star War

in The Original Series, there was a Cold War and proxy wars...so maybe it should have been called Star Cold War

...

shoulda called it Babylon 6

Commander, tell me about your sexual organs.

The hat should really say
>Make Cardassia WHOLE Again
Dukat said that exact phrase several times during his speeches

I look forward to your report Mr. Broccoli!

But everything in space is in motion, user.

...

WHO HAD THE IDEA OF ADDING LWAXANA TROI? I WASHED DS9 FIRST AND NOW I'M STARTING TO WATCH TNG AND THIS UGLY CUNT IS EVERYWHERE AGAIN REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>tfw you finished Star Trek TNG for the first time
Hold me Sup Forums

I think she'd be fun to hangout with. She just wants to enjoy herself, and I find zero fault with that. Sure she gets in the way....a lot.

Did you not notice she's the voice of the enterprise computer?

Have fun with that. She's in every episode.

Why was she the most developed character?

Because you wanna play a little Dabo?

She did. She's the dowager empress of star trek.

Hold me. Applies to DS9 as well.

Someone try and make the worst crew possible.

Curious for results

Captain Troi
Chief Security Officer Yar
Science Officer Quark
Strategic Officer Uhura
Counselor Janeway
Helmsman Geordi
Engineer Wesley Crusher
Bartender Worf

"I assure you, I'm quite fertile... I could provide you with many healthy children, if that's your concern, but frankly I think you're getting a little ahead of yourself."

...

Holy shit, that was Tracy Scoggins?

Klingons may be foul smelling barbarians, but at least they know how to make Coffee

Boisterous kek

Worf would serve prune juice exclusively and headbutt you if you complain

It is a warriors drink.

Of course it is but most of the crew is made up of engineers, science officers, mechanics and a shitload of non-Starfleet people. The crazy bastard would end up starting a riot the first time some drunk dude stumbles in and calls him a fag for being a prune juice aficionado

fuck you

Why didn't the Voyager crew care that Harry Kim's clone sent a message back in time to stop the Voyager crew from getting home sooner?

You can always get your synthahol from any replicator. Why do people go to Quark's to drink, anyway?

Nobody on Voyager cared about anything. That goes for actors, staff, writers, producers.

You can always get your beer at the store at quarter price. Why do people go to bars to drink anyway?

To socialize.

reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

with normies?

Well, other starfleet autists at least.

Look, I know we're all supposed to be autistic NEETs with no sense of self worth, esteem issues and neckbearded, but are you genuinely afraid of hanging out with people?

reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Reeeeee can mean a shitload of things user. If what I wrote compelled you to curl into a ball of autistic screeches I'll just take it as a yes.

Actually I am married, 30 years old and getting over the flu. I just like to shitpost

...

I'm 28 and have a fiance. How's married life treating you? Is it different? If yes, how?

No, not too much different. She chooses the bedding. Apparently Mario Bros bedding isn't good for a married couple. Seems like it would be since they make them up to Queen size.

Of course we were together for 8 years before we got married.

>8 years

3 years and a break-up here

>mario bros shit
I'm far too conservative in everyday life to go for cooky shit. I guess I'll pop the question sooner or later.

I picked the Mario bros sheets for Sn'Gs.

ok, off topic, lets get back to trek shitposting

How about best crew possible?

Captain Kirk
Number 1 Riker
Chief Security Officer Odo
Science Officer Data
Strategic Officer Scotty
Counselor Dax(both)
Helmsman Chekov
Engineer O'Brien
Bartender Quark

>It's an Archer travels to the future to become a space nazi episode

But there are hundreds of these

Chief, Doctor Bashir won't return any of my phone calls after I told him that grabbing a person's crotch was a sign of platonoc friendship in Cardassian society. It's not my fault he believed me and grabbed my crotch everytime he saw me for three weeks.

>it's a 'Kira is crying and angry' episode
>it's every episode

I am watching DS9 now for the firs time, season 1 ep16.

Started strong, but lots of bad episodes.

How the fuck can a Trek show have WORSE episodes than the first season of TNG 5 years after TNG premiered?

anyway, can someone post teh viewing """"""""guide""""""""' for DS9, I 'm curious on the episode description.

watching DS9 now and i cried twice like a bitch

once in the pilot episode and now in the odo episode where he questions his origin

You better watch it all you silly fag.

And you-re a couple of episodes away from one of the best ones in all of Trek, be patient.

Wait til you watch the Visitor. Saddest episode in all of trek.

Tony Todd is fucking magnificent in that one.

Going through DS9, and I have to ask...WHY do people go to Risa? Weird shit happens every time, and it's not jamaharon